Disclaimer: Don't own the Winchester or Bobby. Honor belongs to Eric Kripke and Sera Gamble. I just own my happiness at that we have a 7th season and such a good 2hr finale night. Don't even own the song: Lullaby for a Stormy Night by Vienna Teng which this fanfic is born from. Should listen to that song while reading this or find some thunderstorm/rain recordings to set the mood if it's not a rainy day.
A.N: Aside from my other story: Pieces of me, this little oneshot was born from listening to the song. It has nothing to do with Pieces of me, but if you want an excuse as to how they got pass Castiel, use what I did in Pieces of me to satisfy your mind: Castiel lets them go to take care of other business to give them time to think. I'm not dealing with how they got around Castiel but this is another excuse for brotherly chickflick moments.
Summary: Takes place a few days after 6.22: TMWKTM. While staying at Bobby's, Sam reflects during a thunderstorm likening it to his memories of hell.
Little child, be not afraid,
Though rain pounds harshly against the glass
Like an unwanted stranger, there is no danger,
I am here tonight….
There are several things that Dean takes pride in.
One being his good looks and charm. One or both got him out of numerous jams and both has gotten him women left and right. No, he wasn't vain, though Sam would say differently, he was just self assured.
Two being his skills at hunting. After all he was one of two sons from the legendary hunter himself John Winchester
And three, and to Dean the most important, he was in tuned with his little brother. Now granted, the past couple of years, they both dropped the ball on this, but it was getting better. It was better.
That's how Dean slowly started resurfacing to consciousness one night. Laying on his stomach, his eyes peeled open and he noted the door. What woke him? With a quiet grunt he turned his head to the other side and noticed that a body was missing from the bed next to him. His eyes traveled around the room and located the missing body standing in front of the window, his back to him. Part of the curtains had been pulled back, letting in some light.
Dean laid there a moment before everything registered and he called out, "Hey, Sam, why are you awake?"
There wasn't any answer.
Dean lifted himself off the bed slightly, "Sam?"
Dean was getting worried now as he got out of bed and shuffled to Sam's side. He peered into Sam's face that was glued to the window and the outside world. A clap of thunder sounded followed by lightening. Dean pulled back the curtain so that he too, could glanced outside. Sam just blinked but didn't move or say anything.
"Hey, Sam. You okay?" Dean asked. He was becoming more worried. He knew that wall in Sam's head was down, and though Sam showed himself to be a remarkable fighter against the memories, still Dean worried. And Sam not answering….that was two steps away from sending him into panic mode.
"It's raining. A thunderstorm, actually", came the soft and much delayed reply.
Dean breathed a sigh of relief as he glanced back outside to the roaring rains, "Yeah, I can see that. You aren't scared are you?" he asked with a smirk.
They both knew that Sam wasn't scared. In fact neither one ever showed a developing fear of thunderstorms. Dean remember one of the first thunderstorms that Sam experienced that as scary for him, because it was his first time or so, but after that, Sam never exhibited being scared.
"Of course not." Sam answered softly with no quips.
"Nightmare? Memory?" Dean fished.
Sam looked thoughtful before shaking his head never removing his eyes, "No, not particularly."
There were random times when the memories of hell would hit hard and fast. Slowly though, Sam was able to control it and deal with it. But so far, the Dean's immense relief, it didn't look like it was breaking him.
But oh, how it was trying.
But the determination of Sam Winchester was a strong thing.
Really strong thing.
"Storm woke you up?" Dean tried.
"Hmmmm", was the only response he got.
Dean looked outside and watched the rain beating mercilessly down. Now that it was completely silent he could hear the rain sounding against the house and windows. It was hard to make out much in the world outside with the rain falling so much. Dean was a little surprised he didn't wake up to the sound of the storm as well, but he supposed it has been a long week here. It was rather comfortable for the two of them to be standing watching nature go at it. As long as he wasn't out in it, he was cool with it. A calm languor started to come over him, and he almost found himself asleep on his feet.
Almost but Sam's soft voice broke through, "I always thought thunderstorms were…pretty, in a vicious way."
It was Dean's turn to give an unintelligent reply. "Hmmm."
Sam murmured, "Especially now, thunderstorms are a comfort."
"What do you mean?" Dean asked lazily.
Sam reached up and pressed a hand to the glass. "Have you ever seen what the early morning is like after a thunderstorm?" As if the punctuated his question, the thunder sounded and lightening lighted up the room.
"Hmm, you forget you are talking to."
Sam gave a short soft laugh, "Yeah, I did." He sobered. "But you should."
"Why?" Dean asked curious as to where this conversation is going.
"Because, when a thunderstorm is over, that's when you can see the beauty of it. Have you ever seen the grass after one? The deep green it turns. Or the sky if you catch it during a sunrise. Though, most everyone hates thunderstorms, they appreciate the beauty it brings not realizing that the viciousness of the night before is what brought it. Or even if it just rains hard enough. But then again, most don't take the time to appreciate such things. Even I grew to dislike thunderstorms because it was an interruption."
Dean shifted, "Sam…."
"Hell is like a thunderstorm, I'm finding."
Dean couldn't help the snort. "Right….." he montoned. He'd have to have an explanation for that one, before he brought it.
Sam gave a small smile, "It is to me. Hell hits hard and fast sometimes just like a thunderstorm can. Sometimes it's gradual just like when it starts to rain and gets worse and worse until it builds. Then finally the viciousness of it all hits and it wants to take you down. Thunderstorms have been known to pull up or knock down trees, full grown trees, Dean, make them topple. How vicious is that? Hell wants to knock me down, and it's trying. Believe me when I say it's trying."
Dean's breathe hitched, "Sammy….."
"But there is an eye in the storm, there always is." Sam murmured running his hand down the glass, wiping away some of fogginess of the window.
For the first time that night, Sam pulled his glaze from the storm and they rested on Dean. He rocked his head a few times before answering, "You."
Dean blinked and echoed, "Me?"
Sam nodded, "Yeah, you're there. After the memories surface and then goes away until next time, like a thunderstorm does, wanting and hoping to leave damage in its wake you are there. You're my brother Dean and the reason why I survived the wall coming down. The reason and my goal for returning, because I didn't want to leave you alone. I couldn't."
Here Sam turned back to the outside world, "And you make weathering the memories, worthwhile. Just like a thunderstorm does when it leaves. It makes the next morning, the next day, worthwhile. Sure there might be some messes to clean up but you clean it up and go on. It makes you glad you sat and dealt with the pain of having a thunderstorm. I could easily bow to memories of hell, just like many trees could bow to the thunderstorm but they don't. They fight. And yes, some of them are pulled up from the ground but not all. They are the rare exceptions because honestly how many trees do you hear toppling after a storm?"
"Not many." Dean smirked.
"Exactly." There was a pause, "I was thinking why I never really developed that natural fear of thunderstorms."
"Cause you have an awesome big brother?" Dean grinned.
"Huh?" Dean didn't expect Sam to agree with that.
"You were always there. And on rare occasions, dad. But you were there. You'd sit with me and we'd talk or try to watch TV. Sometimes we read. Other times we'd get under the bed covers and play at camp", Sam smiled at the fond memories, "As I got older, there was nothing bad I could attach to a thunderstorm cause there were so many good memories with it. I know when I was a kid, I'd sometimes wish that a storm would come so we could play at camp or something. That was fun. And on rare occasions, if I begged enough you'd let me go jump in puddles the storm was over."
Dean smiled at the memories.
"So really, I don't have any reason to be scared of thunderstorms and I won't start now."
And Dean knew that Sam was talking about more than the storm raging outside.
Sam shrugged, "I dunno. I wasn't all the way sleep and decided to get up and watch the storm and then I got to thinking about all this. Had a moment, you know?" He glanced at Dean with a grin that Dean returned.
Silence lingered for a long while after that, both reflecting as they watched the storm and listened to the rain pedaling down on the roof and windows, with the occasional rumble of thunder and flashes of lightening. Sam had certainly given Dean food for thought. His little brother thought of all this just from a storm? That amazed Dean. It showed just how special Sam was and how glad that Dean was easily recognizing the little geeky brother he knew. But would he tell him that?
Instead he opened his mouth and said, "You know you are such a girl right?"
Sam just laughed.
"Hey, wake up!" Dean shook Sam awake.
"Ugh, what, Dean?" Sam asked.
"Come on! Go put on some clothes and shoes and come on", Dean urged.
Sam blinked and could see that Dean was dressed.
"The heck?" Sam murmured but moved when Dean gave him that look.
Quickly, Sam threw on his clothes and shoes. Dean handed him his jacket and by now Sam was puzzled as he wordlessly followed Dean out the room and down the stairs. Dean had already thrown his own jacket on.
"Dean, what's going on? Something tells me this isn't something about hunting. And it's early in the morning. Even early by your standards. What's up?" Sam questioned.
"Just shut up for once and follow me. Just because you stayed up to watch a storm and woke me up around 1 in the morning, don't blame me." Dean snipped though there was no malice in his voice.
"Ookay…." Sam drawled as they excited out the house and down the steps. "Uh, why are we in the back of the house?" he asked after a few moments of following Dean's fast paced trek away from the house and into the woods behind the house.
"Must you always ask questions?" Dean asked.
"You should know me by now, dude." Was the smart answer.
"Yeah, well, you can talk when you got something worthwhile to say, which should be in another minute or so."
The trees around them slowly started disappearing as they came to enter a clearing. Dean turned and watched a bright smile spread across Sam's face as he realized what this was.
"Wow, made you speechless. There's a first", Dean smirked.
"We used to come here and play all the time." Sam remarked.
"I remember it gave a good view of the sky. Thought you and your internal girly habits could stand a sunrise after the thunderstorm since you were going on about it. Oh, and look the grass is really green. Look at that!" Dean mocked looking around at the grass.
Sam punched Dean playfully in the shoulder making him grin and give a laugh.
"Shut up", Sam grinned.
They stood studying the sky and the grass for awhile in peace.
"Hmm?" Dean turned to Sam.
Sam looked a little uncertain as if trying to figure out what he wanted to say. He gave a small sigh and look back at the horizon before looking back at Dean. "Thanks."
And they both knew it covered much more than this outing.
Dean smiled, "You are welcome, Sammy."
Sam grinned and turned back to the horizon.
It was a moment later but Sam hit Dean upside the head.
"Ow, the heck was that for?" Dean asked rubbing his head.
"Oh, and it's Sam", Sam stated not taking his eyes off the sun rising.
…And I hope that you'll know,
That nature is so,.
The same rain that draws you near me.
Falls on rivers and land,
On forests and sand,
Makes the beautiful world that you see
In the morning.
Everything's fine in the morning,
The rain will be gone in the morning,
But I'll (you'll) still be here in the morning.
A.N: It's kinda funny but I used my own experiences with thunderstorms. For some reason I never developed a fear of it. In fact as long as I'm inside (and nowadays doesn't interrupt my computer or rare occasions turn into having to go to the basement) I actually like thunderstorms. I did think long while ago, that perhaps cause when I was little and there was a storm, my parents and I would sit together. Usually end up talking and stuff so it became a comforting time. So I incorporated that into this story. I hope it wasn't too OOC, but I suppose I got into a poetic mode.
I don't think I'll ever look at a thunderstorm the same way after this. Maybe the next time there is one, I'll try to enjoy it more rather that dislike it as an interruption.
So thanks for reading! I hope you enjoyed!