AN: Okay, so this is far out there. This is a concept I got from reading and spinning and pondering and thinking about one of my favorite stories, my beloved 1910 by Anonymousow. It's a western type story and that's about the only similarity. I've mixed two very important least they are important to me: Seven Brides for Seven Brothers and Fried Green anyways, like I said, I'm trying western, but it takes place in the mid to late 20s so…technology is well underway…Well, here you go.

It was 1924. House had his new harvester truck…at least that's what they called it…It worked good for him and his brothers and Beau. They were able to fit the truck full of crops, and he had his mind set on selling them then getting him and his brothers and Beau a cook and maid. They needed one, him and his brothers and Beau. They acted like a bunch of pigs rollin' around in their own poopie.

He pulled up to the store in the small town he generally liked to do business with. You see, there were three towns 'bout the same distance from the farm House, his brothers and Beau had. They liked doing business with all three, but they was differ't kinds of business if you know what I mean. They had their regular buy and sell and trade town (the one House was headed to), they had their town that they were banned from…they got too rowdy a few nights in a row, but could House help that? No. And they had the newest town that they visited for beer, and other…acts that they enjoyed..such as the female form.

But that's all besides the point…House liked to let his mind wander when he went to the town. He let his mind think about how he had such a differ't life growin' up then anybody else…that's why he was the way he was..the way he and his brothers and Beau was, that is. See, his momma couldn't turn away a youngin' in need…that's how come he gots so many brothers..and Beau. He was the only one that actually came out of his momma's belly, the rest were just God's gifts to the family. It was him, Wilson, Taub, Foreman, Chase, Kutner..and Beau. Technically those was their last names—for the most part—but that's just what they called each other…House's momma said that that way, they still remember their family names and where they come from.

As House parked to the side of the long town road next to the store, he caught a whiff of something spectacular. His stomach began growlin', but he had business to do first. He walked into the store, and greeted the storeowners.

"Howdy." He tipped his hat to show that while he didn't look it, he did have some manners…he was a backwoodsman, and he looked the part. His beard was full and thick.

"Hidy. What can I do you fer?" The male owner of the store asked.

"Well, I was wanting to sell or trade…how much do you suppose fer my whole truck load?" He asked, gesturing outside the store.

"Oh, I don't know, Ida? What would you say?" He looked over to his wife.

"Ten, maybe?" She said as she peaked outside.

"Ten a pound." The gentlemen said.

"Alright, well, in that case I'll take three of those, two of those and seven of these…that oughta leave me enough to get me and my brothers a cook." He said confidently as he clapped his hands together.

"Wha'do ya mean, feller?" The elderly man asked.

"I mean, I'm tired of eatin' food that tastes nothing like food…and my brothers and I have decided we needs us a cook." He tipped his hat after exchanging the crops for the supplies and money, then left.

"No woman is ever gonna say 'yes' to a scroungy backwoodsman like yerself! Besides, most of these women are spoken fer and their fellers wouldn't hear of such things." Ida said, defending her town's vulnerable young women.

"But not all of them ma'am? See, maybe one of the young ladies not spoken fer, isn't spoken fer, fer a reason. Maybe one of the unspoken fer young ladies needs to exhaust all her options before settling down…Hell maybe one of the spoken fer ladies needs that…either way I came here to get me and my brothers a cook and I am not going back til I got one. I can't stand no more of their or my own cookin. Sooner or later, we're going to poison ourselves.." He tipped his hat and walked out of the door.

As House strolled along the city street, watching the new array of automobiles that were making a huge impact on city life, he smelt that wonderful food again. But, before he went to get food, he went to the barbershop, trimmed his beard good, and cut his hair. After deciding he looked decent enough to charm a young lady into comin' and cookin' for him and his brothers and Beau, he went over to the restaurant that seemed to have the most heavenly smells comin' from it.

He peaked to the backyard as he was on his way inside and saw a lovely little beauty working hard cleanin', cuttin', and grillin' meat, "Hey Ally! Come on! The patrons are getting' hungry! Hurry up will ya?"

"I'm coming! I'm coming!" Ally..whoever that was finished up her grilling, then went inside.

House walked to the front door and sat down at a table alone after he was told to sit wherever. Soon, this little lady was comin' out with a clean apron, setting food in front of everyone, "Who had the ribs and mashed potatoes?" Two man raised their hands and they almost got into it, but Ally was having none of it, split them up and slapped them both on the cheeks, "And the chicken and vegetables?" She eyed House sitting by himself, but got through everyone else before she came over to him, "Hi Sugar, what can I getcha?" She asked.

"Whatever you got left…you seem to be workin' mighty hard…" He commented, "I saw ya back in the yard as I was comin' in."

Ally smiled, "Yes, well, I gotta pay my bills one way or another, and I'd rather make an honest dollar than…what men tell me I could be doin'." She gave him a coy smile.

House nodded, "Well, is yer food good?" He asked.

"Does the crowd of folks not tell you the answer?" Her smile turned from coy to cocky.

House laughed heartily, "Okay, well, like I said, whatever you got left." House shrugged.

"Okay Sug, I'll be right back." Ally was quick as she came back with a full plate. She sat across from him, waiting for him to taste it. When his eyes rolled to the back of his head and he sighed a thankful sigh, she smirked, "So, what are you doin' round here? I don't think I've ever seen you before and this town is small…"

"Oh, I do trading with Ida and Frank, and I got hungry this trip, so I came over here. I also want to find me and my brothers a cook…we can't cook worth a damn." He took another bit of his food and swallowed, "You wouldn't be interested, would you?" He asked.

"What?" Ally asked astonished as she set her glass bottle of Coca-Cola down on the table.

"Well, from what I can see you're perfect. You can cook…which is the main portion of the job. You're strong, you can deal with rowdy men, you're a hard worker, and…this is just a bonus, but you're easy on the eyes." House gave her a charming smile.

Ally laughed at him, literally at him, "You think you're gonna charm me into comin' with you to cook for you and you're brothers? How many are you talking'?"

"Six." He said, "And I mean, you wouldn't just be cookin'. You could help around the farm also…we need as much help as we can get. And, as you said before, you would be makin' an honest buck. We'd pay you well and you could come into town whenever you need…"

Ally eyed him suspiciously. Just the night before she had been asking the high heavens for a new adventure, and here comes this man, giving her that very opportunity. "I have things that I'd like to take with me and we'd have to spend the rest of the day packing." She said.

"You'll do it?" He asked.

"You won't believe me but just last night I was asking for an adventure…I think this might be my opportunity, so yeah. I'll do it. But like I said, I want my things with me." She said.

"Alright." House nodded and stood up, leaving money on the table for his meal.

"Hey Vinney!" Ally called.

"What?" He was not the best boss…that was another reason Ally wanted to take this opportunity.

"I quit!" She threw her apron at him and she and House walked out of the diner. As they walked, Ally noticed his limp, "Are you okay?" She asked, looking at his legs.

"Me? I'm fine…I've always walked like this." He said.

She knit her brows, and shook her head, picking up that he wasn't gonna tell her anything beyond that. They went to her apartment and packed her up, then they set off for farmland USA.

They got to the main house, the house that she would be living in…there were seven small houses scattered around the main one. Each brother had made their own—with the others' help—because they all wanted their own space. Ally walked on the porch and looked around, "Wow, this is lovely. Where're these brothers I've heard so much about?"

"Hey! Hey Taub! Foreman! He did it! He brought us home a cook!" Wilson yelled as he ran over to the main house. Soon every brother was there to see this new addition to their patchwork-ed family.

House looked around to make sure everyone was there before he did introductions, "Okay. Okay!" He settled them all down and pulled Chase from his creeper-close position next to her, "This is Chase please mind him, he's the idiot of the bunch. This is Foreman, Taub, Wilson, Kutner and this…" he grabbed the scrawniest of the bunch and shook his shoulders, showing that this small runt was his favorite, "This is Beau." He said as he ruffled his short hair.

"Get off me, House!" He was still a teenager. It didn't sound like his voice had dropped, "Ma'am." He gave Ally a quirky yet completely captivating and charming smile as he stuck his hand out to introduce himself.

Ally smiled, "Beau." When she looked in his eyes, she was completely taken over. She probably wasn't that much older than him, she was nineteen and had been on her own for three years, she had to grow up faster than most kids, but she could definitely see herself falling for this kid.

"Okay, we's got some unpackin' to do, so let's do it." House pointed to the truck.

The brothers all helped Ally; she really didn't have to do a thing, "My goodness you all are so nice…" She said, "Your brother spoke as though I should be scared."

"Well, our Momma taught us some on treating ladies…like not to let her carry heavy things, but she died before we could really learn anything else." Foreman commented, "Where would you like this?" He asked, carrying the frame of her dresser.

After getting her all moved in, they set to their chores again. They needed to run the farm as smoothly as possible and the only way to do that was to do their chores everyday.

Ally set about making dinner, "Okay, dinner!" She yelled. A couple of the brothers heard her, but not everyone, so she began ringing the bell on the porch loudly. After everyone heard it, they pushed and shoved their way into the kitchen. "Holy…HEY!" She screamed getting their attention, "Y'all are not animals, and you will not eat like them, you hear me? You want a cook, fine, but I ain't gonna cook for y'all again until you learn to eat!" She said. They all looked at her questioningly, "Beau in't even here and we've yet to say grace. Here y'all are just plowing away at yer food like it's something you're plowin' in the field. Simmer down." She said, "Use the utensils I put out in front of you instead of yer hands, Kutner." She gave him a pointed stare.

"Sorry Miss Ally, it's just very, very good." He said sheepishly.

"Thank you." She touched his arm, "Now, let's say grace, and I guess Beau'll come when he's hungry." She looked at House who nodded, impressed with her take-charge attitude. The rest of the brothers snickered, "What?" She asked.

"Nothing Miss Ally." Foreman said with a grin on his face.

"Will you say grace then?" She asked the darkest brother.

"Yes'm." He nodded and bowed his head to say grace for the table.

After their rocky meal, Ally had enough leftovers for the youngest, still growing boy and wanted to make sure he ate before it got cold…not that she minded heating it up again, but it was best when it's warm the first time.

She asked brother Wilson where Beau might be and he said, "Prolly by the pond." And pointed the direction of the pond before going about his business.

Ally began walking the direction of the pond. She didn't see anything when she saw the pond, but she heard a splash. There was a few trees around the pond, so it was likely Beau was just out of her line of vision. As she neared the pond, coming in on fifty or so feet, she saw the most unexpected thing. Beau was naked. Beau was a woman! Beau was a naked woman! She had a light swell of her breasts and there was definitely no appendage where Ally's eyes regrettably, but automatically went…she couldn't help her curiosity…and she really couldn't not look at Beau. Seeing that Beau was a woman peaked her curiosity to its fullest. Curiosity killed the cat, and it was coming for her next.

She felt like she was violating Beau as she watched her swim around, and just as she was about to divert her eyes from the Greek goddess-like figure stretched and swimming around the clear pond in nothing but the buff, Beau saw her, "Miss Ally." She said with that charming smile she thought she could have fallen in love with earlier, but now obviously she couldn't. "What are you doing down here?" She asked as she walked out of the pond, unashamed of her feminine body. She shook her head back and forth to get the water to ring out so she could dry and put her clothes back on.

"I uh…umm." Ally turned around to avert her curious eyes completely from the younger woman, "I…wanted to find you and tell you that your dinner is getting cold. Everyone else has already ate, and yer plate is in the kitchen." Ally began walking back to the house she supposed she should call hers.

"Hey wait a minute!" Beau called after her. She had just finished putting her clothes back on, "You're actin' a little funny, is somethin' wrong? Did I do somethin'?"

"What?" Ally wasn't looking at her at all, "No nothing's wrong."

"Then how come you won't look at me?" Beau asked.

"You're a woman." Ally stated as she looked into those eyes that she thought earlier could have been magical, but now she didn't know what to think.

"You don't like to look at women? Ever?" She asked innocently and cocked her head.

"I guess not, no. At least I don't when I thought they were handsome young men until I saw them naked in a pond, no I don't like looking at those women." Ally averted her eyes.

"Oh Miss Ally, I'm sorry. I just 'ssumed that House'd've told ya. I'm not a brother…I'm a sister, technically. But see, they all call me brother cause I don't particularly like to be all girly. I don't like to wear girly clothes, I don't like to do girly things…I like to do man things. I like poker, I like drinkin', I like working alongside my brothers and I can't cook worth a damn just like them…" She shrugged, then scratched her still damp short hair. "My name's Remy Beauregard Hadley. They get my nickname from my middle name, cause Beau means boyfriend and I might as well be one of those instead of a girlfriend…" She shrugged.

"Oh…Well…I'm Allison Marie Cameron then." Ally was able to look at Beau now. "I like your name, Remy. Can I call you that?"

"Only when it's just us..the boys'll make a fuss about it…" She shrugged as she walked Ally back to the main house. She sat at the table and Allison gave her her dinner, "Thank you Miss Ally." She said, then took her knife and fork and used the utensils without being asked.

"You're welcome Remy." Allison said in a whisper as she made her way around the kitchen, cleaning here and there as Remy ate.

AN: Well, there's chapter one, let me know what you think!