Scene four: Rescuing Hannah and Other Dangerous Endeavors

[Scene fade from the crossover to the flying limo. WILL has the directions set on "TMON, Germany," and is lounging in the back seat. The Klub are checking out the limo's services.]

GRELL: [sitting beside WILL] I wonder if it serves food…[as if on cue, a flap on the side of the limo opens up and a plate comes out beside GRELL. It holds a sandwich with bacon, turkey, cheese, and pickles. GRELL gasps.] A bacon, turkey, cheese, and pickles sandwich! My favorite! [he grabs the sandwich and starts to eat it happily]

WILL: [gags and rubs at his neck] If this is what you normally eat, I'd hate to see you have pregnancy cravings…

[Camera switch to CLAUDE who is frowning.]

CLAUDE: I forgot to bring my hand sanitizer! [a flap on the roof of the limo opens as a bottle of hand sanitizer falls into CLAUDE's lap. CLAUDE beams brightly.] Yay! [he takes the hand sanitizer, squirts some onto his hands and starts to rub it in.]

SEBASTIAN: [he takes a wine glass filled with sparkling grape juice out of a drink holder, smiling] I'd say forget about Hannah, let's just live here, but I'm afraid I can't. [he sighs] The only thing that would make this better is music…

[The radio starts to play; the song playing is This Afternoon by Nickelback.]

GRELL: [after finishing his sandwich] Man, this car has everything! Autopilot, food, drinks, music, a rotating table, missiles…

WILL: Missiles?

GRELL: Yeah, only to be used in case of an attack.

CLAUDE: [mutters] I know someone who'd use them anyway…

WILL: What was that?

CLAUDE: Nothing. [he continues to basically bathe in the hand sanitizer. Suddenly, a voice comes over the intercom.]

CAR INTERCOM: [in a somewhat GPS-like voice] Approaching destination! Arriving in 5.0 miles.

SEBASTIAN: Well that was fast. [he checks his watch] 7:30. We still have time.

CIEL: We have a lot of time, don't we?

SEBASTIAN: Never say that; don't you know in the movies, as soon as someone says something like that something bad happens?

[Both CLAUDE and SEBASTIAN look around wearily.]

CIEL: Exactly, the movies. Who said we're in the movies?

[CIEL shrugs and looks ahead as the car begins to descend before landing in a field. The Klub members slowly get out, looking around. They notice a huge, towering mansion built into the side of a volcano, and they gulp. SEBASTIAN pushes MISS GINGER CAPRI into his shirt pocket.]

SEBASTIAN: Play it safe, baby.

[They start to walk into the mansion. They get inside easily enough without oppression. ALOIS frowns.]

ALOIS: Okay, even I the blonde know that it's not supposed to be this easy. We're supposed to be getting attacked by countless numbers of minions, or dogs, or bats or something.

CLAUDE: [starts to hyperventilate] Minions? Dogs? Bats? [he squeaks and is hushed by SEBASTIAN.]

SEBASTIAN: Not right now, Claude. This is serious. [serious face]

[CLAUDE nods and trembles as he walks along.]

CIEL: Maybe she just wants us to drop our guard, make it feel like we're safe and then…BAM!

[As CIEL says "Bam!" the floor opens up. CIEL frowns as he and SEBASTIAN are suspended in midair.]

CIEL: What did I tell you?

[They scream as they plummet towards the darkness. Music crescendos before going silent. Scene fade in from black. The Klub is sitting on the ground. They all get up and moan, shaking their heads. GRELL is lying awkwardly on top of WILL.]

GRELL: Ohh, my head…[he notices that he is on top of WILL and gasps, backing off.] Thanks for breaking my fall.

WILL: [sarcastically] Thanks, it really did good work on my back.

GRELL: [scoffs] Sor-ry![ he stands up and dusts himself off and looks around.] Where the heck are we?

WILL: Looks like some kind of cellar…

CIEL: [worriedly] And then, once the bad guy has the heroes, he appears on a big screen—

[CIEL is cut off as a huge flat screen T.V. comes down from the ceiling. It switches on to a video of ASH and ANGELA sitting there; ANGELA has a Chihuahua on her lap.]

SEBASTIAN: [angrily]Angela! Ash! I knew you were behind this!

ALOIS: [rolls his eyes] Everyone knew that, dummy.

SEBASTIAN: Oh, hush, will you, I'm trying to be dramatic!

ANGELA: [laughs] Always the smart one, eh Sebby?

SEBASTIAN: [frowns] Don't call me that! I'm not your boyfriend!

ANGELA: You may not be my boyfriend now, but you will soon. Minion 143! [a minion runs into view] Bring the girl.

MINION: Yes mistress! [he runs behind ANGELA and pulls a rope. HANNAH comes down from the ceiling, tied to a chair. She is looking at ANGELA with disdain.]


ANGELA: Yes, it's your precious little sister!

HANNAH: [innocently] He hates you, you know.

ANGELA: [frowns] Shut up!

HANNAH: That's all I hear him talk about, how much he hates you.

ANGELA: [blushing] Shut up!

HANNAH: [imitating SEBASTIAN] That stupid Angela, she's sooo dumb, I'll never date her 'cause she's dumb!

ANGELA: [standing up, stomping her foot] Shut up, shut up, shut UP!

SEBASTIAN: [mutters to CIEL] That's my sister for you.

CIEL: [taking notes like a madman] The bad guy then introduces the hostage! The hostage tried to act brave, but in reality the hostage is scared out of her mind!

HANNAH: [confused] I'm not scared.

ANGELA: Enough! If you won't do it the easy way, I'll have to do it the hard way.

[Close up on the Klub's terrified faces as the music crescendos and then cuts off as the screen goes dark. Scene fade to THE HERMIT, sitting in front of a desk. MELLO is sitting behind the desk, feet propped up on it. His cheetahs, ROMULUS and REMUS, are sitting beside the desk.]

MELLO: So you're saying that I...[he examines one of his nails] should help you? Why.

HERMIT: It's not fer me, ya see, it's fer my friends. They're in trouble in TMON, Germany.

MELLO: And those friends would be?

HERMIT: You know the KCK, don't you?

MELLO: [raises an eyebrow] The KKK?

HERMIT: Nah, nah, the KCK, see?

MELLO: Oh, KCK. [he looks back at THE HERMIT, smiling] What is it you want me to do?

HERMIT: Can you drive a motorcycle through a window?

MELLO: Yes, yes I can. Question is, how much are you willing to pay?

[Scene fades as MELLO's eerie, echoing laughter sounds in the background. Scene changes to the Klub. They are all on the floor, covering their ears screaming. ANGELA is dragging nails down a chalkboard. HANNAH and ASH have earplugs in their ears.]

ANGELA: [stops for a second] Are you ready to accept me now?

SEBASTIAN: [looking up at her] No!

[Growling, ANGELA drags the nails across the chalkboard again. The Klub resumes screaming.]

ALOIS: For the love of God, make it STOP!

CIEL: My sensitive ears!

CLAUDE: Apocalypsssssssse!

[In the background of the video, unknown to everyone else, HANNAH unties her wrists from behind the chair and proceeds to completely unbind herself, since ASH and ANGELA aren't paying attention. She then proceeds to knock ASH out with a punch to the head, before running away off-screen. She then appears in the chamber with the rest of the Klub, but the only one to notice is ANGELA, who abruptly ends her torture.]

ANGELA: W-what! What! How did you get down there?

HANNAH: Because you guys are stupid! And I was getting bored.

SEBASTIAN: Hannah! [he runs over to her to hug her, but she moves out of the way, causing him to faceplant on the ground] ...ouch.

HANNAH: Don't push it, bud. Now, let's get out of here!

[They proceed to follow HANNAH to the exit, and ANGELA is fuming. She angrily picks up a phone.]

ANGELA: [yelling] I need every minion to report to the exit chamber, I repeat, EVERY MINION!

[Scene switch to the Klub and HANNAH running through a long tunnel.]

GRELL: [to HANNAH] How did you know this was here?

HANNAH: Oh, I wasn't tied up until a few minutes ago. I found it while I had some free time, waiting for you idiots to come rescue me.

[They run into a huge place, probably the heart of the volcano. There is lava flowing down the rocky sides and lava pooled in a great ravine. There is a big door marked "EXIT" near the back.]

WILL: [pointing] Look, there it is!

HANNAH: Yahoo!

SEBASTIAN: We're home free, guys!

[Just as they start to make their way towards it, hoards of the minions pour in through other doors and openings. They quickly surround the Klub and HANNAH.]

CIEL: [slaps SEBASTIAN] Look what you did, you jinxed us!

SEBASTIAN: [rubbing his cheek] Ow, sorry! Geez, why do I keep getting hurt in this stupid movie?

GRELL: [grins] Alright everyone, prepare for the fight scene!

[Fight music plays as they all take "ninja" stances. They then begin to engage the minions in a fight, easily defeating most of them. This goes on for a few minutes, before all of the minions are lying in a pile around them.]

WILL: We did it!

ANGELA and ASH: [from off screen] Not so fast! [they appear with hundreds of more minions that swarm down and surround them]

GRELL: [slaps WILL] Look what you did, you jinxed us!

WILL: [rubbing his cheek] Ow, what the hey, Grell?

GRELL: Sorry, I just felt like slapping someone.

ANGELA: You won't get away that easily! I'd like to try to see you fight these guys off! [she laughs evilly]

[As the minions draw closer, the Klub and HANNAH huddle together.]

ALOIS: We're all gonna die!

CLAUDE: [clinging to Alois] It really is the apocalypse!

[They all look frightened, until WILL gets an idea and his face lights up.]

WILL: No we aren't. Grell! [he pulls GRELL close] I need you for something!

GRELL: What's your big idea?

WILL: You'll see, just hold still!

GRELL: [dubiously] I don't see how this is going to – [he gets cut off as WILL leans down and kisses him. His eyes widen, before he puts his arms around WILL's shoulders. In a classic movie display, the lava that was previously resting in the ravine bursts up around them. Romantic music plays.]


SEBASTIAN: Oh, the destructive power of true love~

[The lava falls on most of the minions, who disintegrate. The rest of them scream and start to run away. Now even angrier than before, ANGELA flies down and faces the group.]

ANGELA: I've had just about enough of you! Ash, get the – [she too gets cut off as the roar of an engine sounds not too far away and she turns her head] What on earth? [she realizes what it is] Heaven been mad!

ALOIS: Why does that engine sound familiar?

[As if on cue, MELLO flies through one of the windows on his motorcycle with THE HERMIT attached to the side in a small passenger-seat...thing. As he lands, he runs over ANGELA. CLAUDE squeaks in fear and hides under ALOIS.]

SEBASTIAN: Oh look, it's Alois and Grell's creepy brother.

MELLO: [frowns] Brother in law. Now get in with the Hermit, this volcano's about to explode.

CIEL: Erupt.

MELLO: Whatever.

HERMIT: Howdy!

ALOIS: Hey, lovebirds! Time to go.

[He looks over to WILL and GRELL, who were still kissing. Upon noticing him, they pull apart and start blushing and stammering like idiots.]

WILL: [blushing] about that, Grell. It was kind of a...last-minute thing, you know?

GRELL: [also blushing] Oh,'s alright, really. I kind of...liked it?

CIEL: [yelling] Hey, idiots, we gotta get out of here! This place is about to blow, literally!

[They turn to see all of the kids piled up in the passenger seat with THE HERMIT, who looks mildly uncomfortable. Noticing the situation around them, WILL and GRELL quickly make their way over to the rest of them. Scene switch to the outside – right as the volcano erupts, they all escape out of the other side.]

SEBASTIAN: [wiping sweat from his forehead] Whew, that was close. Thanks for helping me save Hannah, guys.

HANNAH: I kinda saved myself you know.

ALL: You're welcome!

ALOIS: No problem, you know, that's what friends do!

[As they talk, WILL and GRELL sit awkwardly next to each other.]

GRELL: So...was it really a last minute thing?

WILL: What, the kiss? Um...kinda...I guess...not really...I mean maybe I've wanted to kiss you before – [he looks like he's about to say more, before GRELL pulls him into a kiss. The scene ends with them riding off into the sunset, like some kind of old western movie. Scene fades out to a black screen with the white letters "THE END" in the background. Suddenly, ANGELA and ASH pop up, both covered in soot and dirt.]

ANGELA: Hold on a second, I'm the boss, I decide when the movie ends!

ASH: When's it gonna end?

[A motorcycle tire comes out of nowhere and hits ANGELA on the head.]

ANGELA: [a little shakily]'s the end...

[That's all, folks! Hope you enjoyed the first KCK movie!]

{Oh my goodness guys it's been so long since I updated this thing x.x I'm so sorry for the wait! But I've finally got it now. I'm getting back into this series, and I think I might finish it...happy reading!}