Zim held up a book to block the spit ball that would have otherwise collided with his head. He flicked the moist glob off his book and wasted no time grabbing an eraser off the desk next to his and chucked it at Dib with neck-braking speed. Also using a textbook as a line of defense, Dib blocked the eraser, only to have it land on Ms. Bitters' desk, who had spent the duration of their throwing war with her back to the students, apathetically writing on the blackboard. Both boys immediately assumed the position of fake taking notes as Mr. Bitters, sensing the disturbance, turned her head towards them. Both felt her gaze settle upon them before she picked up the eraser and it turned to ash. Without a word, she turned back to blackboard and continued writing.

Dib and Zim had this or a similar kind of battle almost daily. The object was simple. Hit the other one as many times in the head as you could with whatever you could throw. First one to be caught by Ms. Bitters lost. These were unspoken rules, but that how it played out every time. The other students had grown used to this behavior and even sometimes took bets on who would emerge victorious.

As Dib hastily chewed up another spit ball, Zim searched for something he could throw that would put Dib's pathetic, worm-baby ammo to shame. Finding nothing worthy in his immediate area, Zim reached in his PAK, grinning victoriously when his hand felt just the thing he was looking for. Blocking yet another spit ball with his book, he tossed the object to Dib, who was startled to see such an object and caught it to avoid a crash should it hit the ground. Dumbfounded, he stared at it, not paying much mind to Zim's insane chuckling.

The object he had thrown was a clock. An alarm clock from the looks of it. Dib only realized to late that it was actually a timer when the hour and minute hands met and a smiley face appeared.

The clock exploded in Dib's hands, the blast not reaching passed his desk, but singed him considerable. The rest of the student erupted in laughter, but none more so than Zim. Ms. Bitters turned to see what had the audacity to interrupt her, and stared with a blank face at the burnt to a crisp Dib. His own expression was nothing short of startled with a dash of panic as the emotionless teacher gazed at him, her reaction hidden behind thick glasses. After no more than a few seconds, Ms. Bitters bared her teeth and the loser was clear.

"Victory for Zim." Zim whispered to himself as the laughter died down.


Feeling pleased with himself, Zim marched down the hall with a goose step and a victorious grin. "Filthy pathetic humans think they can best ZIM?" He said to no one in particular. He came to his locker where he dumped his useless earth books. He caught sight of his reflection in the small mirror that hung on the door. As he stared at himself, his mood dropped. He had been on this filthy Tallest forsaken rock for 6 years already and was no closer to concurring it than he had been the day he landed. The only thing he had managed to do was convince all the stink-humans that, although he may be a little odd, he was no less normal than any other weird kid. People were more like to question Ms. Bitters' humanity, the bizarre teacher had been sent to teach high skool for being to 'scary' for small children.

He smiled, his ego inflating once more. Step one was complete. He had blended in sufficiently. That would just make it all the more sweet when he finally did take over this damn planet. He was so close, he knew it. He had an unending list of evil plans for domination. A list that he just hadn't gotten to yet. He wasn't incompetent, he was just a little lazy. Zim incompetent? Ridiculous.

He was about to close his locker when something coming from just behind the open door caught his attention.

"Dudes, did you see what that Zim kid did?"

"Yeah, man. How crazy was that?"

Crazy? Zim was not crazy! What form of mockery….

"What, what happened?"

"He threw a bomb or something at Dib.

"Whoa, really? Awesome."

"Yeah. That was pretty weird of him. I mean it was awesome, but weird."

Yeah, man. That so… not normal."

"LIES!" Zim shouted as he slammed his locker shut, effectively scaring the wits out of the small group of guys who dared question his normality. "Zim is perfectly normal." He said with a fake smile through clenched teeth. "Silly humans."

He proceeded down the hallway trying to look as casual as possible.

Not normal? They thought he was not normal? He had worked too hard to have himself given after by one incident. What had he done that was so out of the social norm? Perhaps he should of made the explosion bigger? There was just no pleasing these filthy primitive humans!

He turned a corner and stopped to think. Perhaps he wasn't quite sure what the social norm was. He had been here long enough to know the basics, but he had never made a serious attempt to understand what these FOOL humans considered social acceptable. He had watched the other students of the horrid skool before, but it had offered no sufficient information. If he was to once again blend in, he would need to observe the humans more closely, long term for best results.

Zim clenched his fists in glee of his new genius plan. Now all he needed was a worm-baby test subject. He continued down the hall, eyeing possible candidates as they passed by. He went to turn a corner and bumped into a purple-haired earth female.

"Sorry." Gaz said with little emotion, not looking him in the eye. She looked different today. Her hair was pulled back and her attire consisted of a pair of cut off shorts and a form-fitting t-shirt with stains on it of various color, her Game Slave tucked into her pocket. She also had a blue smear on her cheek. Under her arm was tucked a large canvas. "'Scuse me." she added when he didn't move.

"Dib-sister!" Zim shouted, throwing his hands up. "Perfect!"

His sudden outburst startled her, an emotion which was quickly replaced with annoyance. She clenched her teeth. "Please get out of my way."

"Gaz-female, Zim has a proposition for you." Zim said. He brought his hands together in front of him. "How would you-"

"No." She cut him off and proceeded to step around him.

"Wha..? Dib-sister, hear Zim out-"

"Whatever it is the answer is no." Gaz headed off down the hall without so much as a second glance.

"Oh, you little DEMON SEED!" Zim shouted. "Get back here and obey Zim!"

Gaz stopped, turned around and stared at him, and for a moment he thought she might actually listen to him. But no such luck. She simply stuck her tongue out at him and continued down her way. Zim stood puzzled that she would do such a strange thing.

"Hey, get back here!" He chased after her. She didn't pay attention to him just walked on. "If you would allow Zim to explain, you would see that Zim can offer you… things…. For your cooperation." He grinned widely, hoping to win her over.

Gaz sighed. "What do you want Zim?" He wasn't going to go away, so she may as well just pretend to listen.

"It has come to Zim's attention that I am not as familiar with the social norms of you humans as he ought to be." He started, lowering his voice so only she could hear him as he tried to keep pace with her. "Zim's solution to this is to observe an individual long term to learn what is and isn't socially acceptable." He smiled widely at her. "So Little Gaz, would-"

"No." She stepped into her classroom as the bell rang, leaving Zim alone, confused and late for class. He frowned. Insolent earthling female!


Gaz wiped some paint off her hand onto her already stain covered shirt. Palette in hand, she was so entranced in her portrait that she didn't even notice her visitor until he decided to announce his arrival.

"So Gaz-monster, about my proposal!" His loud voice once again startled her so much, she jumped, causing her hand jerked in the water bowl she was swirling her paintbrush in. Zim made an unnecessary commotion of side stepping to avoid the few drops of water that splashed out of the bowl.

Gaz's feelings of annoyance resurfaced. "You are so lucky I didn't have my hand to my canvas just then. I would've ended you." She gazed up at him from under thick lashes. She saw a bathroom pass in his hand and a look of eagerness on his face. Here we go…

"Zim is willing to bargain with you." He said with disregard for her comment. "If you allow Zim to use you as his guinea pig test subject, I can supply you with this Bloaty earth food you hold so dear."

Gaz cracked an eye open at him. She stared at him until she saw him shift uncomfortably before saying, "Go on."

"Oh yes, Dib-sister. The greasy goodness I shall provide." He leaned his elbow on the table to come to her eye level. "The grease tempts you, no?"

She pursed her lips thoughtfully. "Explain to me again what this plan of your's is." As she spoke, she dipped her brush in some paint and resumed painting.

"My plan is to learn more about the normality of you fool-humans. Your part is effortless. Simply allow me to follow you to your place of dwelling and observe you. You would go about your daily routine as normal. It would be like Zim wasn't even there." He smiled, pleased with himself.

Gaz didn't look at him, but continued painting. This plan of his sounded stupid. If he just wanted to watch someone, he could use cameras. "What makes you think you can learn to the social norms from me? Do I strike you as socially normal?"

Zim frowned. While Gaz was not what one would consider normal, he had his reasons for choosing her. She was normal enough that he could learn what he needed to, while at the same time abnormal enough that he wouldn't have to change too much to achieve the same level of normality as her. Plus, she was the only pig-smelly human that he didn't have to hid his identity around, besides her FOOL brother, which was completely out of the question.

"You're normaler than I am, which is good enough for me." He need not explain himself to a mere HUMAN. He glanced at her painting. It was a portrait of her father person, Professor Membrane. Nothing special, just a torso-up view with a plain color background. It was impressive, to say the least. Little Gaz had talent in more than just gaming, it seemed.

"And you would just…" She peered at him. "Watch me?"

"Correct." Zim smiled, thinking he had convinced her with his brilliance. "You would be able to ignore me if only my superiority were not so blinding."

"You're a creeper."


"Answer's no. Go away."


"Ooooh, that insolent purple demon-seed!" Zim exclaimed out loud as he walked home. "How dare she deny Zim?" If it were any other situation, he would just pick her up, throw her over his shoulder, and walk away whistling . But for this particular plan, it wouldn't be that easy. He needed her cooperation. The goal was to learn what was normal, and she very well wouldn't behave normally if he kidnapped her.

By now, he was convinced that his guinea pig had to be her. He would accept no other. But she was so unwilling to repent.

What to do, what to do…. Okay, options.

Bribery was out. He tried that and all it got him his teacher yelling at him for being gone too long.

He could try stealing her Game Slave, hold it for ransom until she agreed to his plan.

That wouldn't work. First off, she wouldn't act normal without her Game Slave. Second off, she'd probably kill him. And that would just be such an inconvenience.

He could try maybe embarrassing her. Or bug her so much that she would agree to anything just to get him to shut up.

"Hey." Zim stopped walking. "That just might work. Maybe."


It was done. Gaz laid her canvas on the table, paint still wet, and wiped some drops sweat off her forehead. To get a decent amount of light for her painting, she had to sit directly under the sunlight coming in from the window. She had done the bulk of her painting yesterday, hence her rugged clothes. But all she had to do today was touch ups and add another layer of paint to some places, so she was clad in her normal outfit, a black tank top, skirt, thigh highs and arm warmers. She had taken her arm warmers off to prevent paint staining them.

Her neck was considerably sweaty from the heat, so she pulled the hair tie off her wrist and tied her hair back, welcoming the breeze. She leaned back in her seat, fanning herself with a piece of paper. She looked at her portrait. She was proud of it. She couldn't wait to show her dad. "Little Gaz!" A loud voice called. Not this again…

Zim appeared next to her. He wore the same eager obnoxious grin as yesterday. "Zim has come to wager with you once again!"

"Jesus, is this going to become a daily thing?" Gaz asked.

"Zim can last longer than you can." He challenged, narrowing his contact covered eyes.

"Yeah, sure." She didn't sound the slightest bit interested. She closed her eyes and let her head roll backwards.

Zim frowned. How could he properly convince her to wield to his will if he didn't have her attention? "You refused my previous offer, so Zim would like to know. What would you like as compensation?" He spoke loudly in an effort to be heard. He attracted the eyes of Gaz's classmates.

"I'm not interested in your little game, Zim." He was really pushing it. "Go find another playmate."

"How dare you! Zim's work is no game!" He threw his arms up for emphasis and accidentally knocked over the cup full of dirty paint water that Gaz had been using.

Hearing the sound, Gaz shot up right in her seat and took in the scene before her. The first thing she saw was Zim making a fuss over the one or two water droplets that had spilt on his hand. The second thing she saw was her painting, covered in water, the colors bleeding into each other. Her portrait was ruined.

Audible gasped were heard from her classmates, and when Zim realized what he had done, his sizzling hand forgotten, he froze in fear of what she would do next. Gaz stared at the canvas for a moment or two, eyes wide open and emotionless, but her expression soon changed.

Zim took a fearful step back. Her eye brows knit together and her lip began to tremble. Zim was not completely savvy on how human express emotion, but from what he could tell, she looked on the verge of tears.

This was short lived however. Her head whipped around to face him, teeth bared, and he could swear her narrow eyes were glowing a dangerous purple. "I'LL DESTROY YOU!"

"EEEEEEE!" Zim dashed out the room, Gaz right at his heals. He was considered fast to human standards, but as he ran down the hall at top speed, he just couldn't shake her. He wouldn't be surprised if he was being propelled forward by shear inhuman rage. He turned down a semi-crowded hall. Maybe his punishment would be less horrific if their were witnesses.

Never slowing, he risked a glance over his shoulder. He screeched as Gaz tackled him, knocking him first into the lockers and then onto the floor, on his back with her straddling his waist.

By now they had attracted a crowd of on lookers, none of them surprised by Gaz's behavior, but more wondering what Zim had done to piss her off.

"Dib-sister, I'm sorry, I didn't mean to!" Zim pleaded, feeling very small under her demonic stare. Teeth still bared, Gaz began to work his shirt off. This shocked him, as well as earned some uproar from their audience. Zim trembled in fear. Whatever she was going to do, it was going to be horrid. He tried to wiggle free, but to no prevail. When she had finally gotten his shirt off, she produced a can of soda out of Tallest knows where.

"Oh God, no, please, anything but that!" Zim cried, struggling with all his might. She opened the can slowly to prolong his dreading what was to come. No one in the crowd thought this weird, as it was common knowledge that Zim had a strange 'rare, allergic reaction' to most known liquids. And Gaz was evil.

"Say your sorry." Gaz said, tilting the can at a dangerous angle. This confused Zim. Was she offering mercy in exchange for an apology? Dib-sister? Mercy?

"My most sincerest apologies, Little Gaz!" He'd take what he could get.


"Zim is sorry!"

"Once more."

"I'm sorry!" He saw something in her squinted eyes that suggested he would receive no mercy even after his apology.

"Good boy." Gaz rose to her feet and tipped the can, showering Zim in the fizzy liquid. The on lookers looked away, trying to clam their stomachs as Zim's skin sizzled, his screams echoing the hallway. Gaz watched in silence as he jerked and wiggled and kicked and screamed. This went on for some time, until finally he stopped moving all together. Gaz's face still held no emotion, but she wondered, uncaringly, if he was dead. A light on his PAK began flashing.

"Reactivating." The PAK said, as Zim was shocked back into conciseness. Upon reawakening, he gasped for breath, looking around bewildered. His eyes landing on Gaz, who was still hovering over him. As she turned to walk away, he shouted, "So I'll come to your house after skool!"

"Fine, whatever."

Will update depending on reviews I get.