Yes, kids! It's back! My first fic! Revamped and improved! I will be posting a couple of chappies at a time, so please read and review. Thanks! :-)

One would think that robbing a bank was just one of those villainous fads, worn out by hacks that were trying to emulate the bank robberies in the old black and white films or dusty, dime novels. But, The Joker just couldn't help but go on these little "constitutionals" every now and again with Harley Quinn, the 'Bonnie' to his 'Clyde'.

He laughed as they hopped into the getaway car, Harley at the wheel, and they soon were zooming past frightened onlookers.

The Joker tilted his head back as he cackled with glee and dropped the now bulging duffle bag to his feet onto the floorboard. Harley gripped the steering wheel tightly as she veered corners until she had finally lost the two squad cars in a cloud of exhaust and confusion.

She loved when he laughed like that, his mouth wide open and his scarred cheeks elongating his mouth into a vast smile. His cackling always sent chills through her body, but today she wanted to hurry home. In fact, she had been hesitant in going out at all today, but The Joker convinced her that it would just be a quick stop as he needed something to ease his boredom.

Her silence was soon discovered as his chuckling died down. He cast his eyes on her as he ran a tongue across his painted lips and saw her vexed expression as she drove.


No answer. Just a blank stare through the windshield and her small hands at 'Ten and Two' on the wheel.

"Harley-girl?" he said a bit louder.

She quickly jerked her head around and their eyes met momentarily. Harley noticed that his face held a slightly concerned, if not annoyed, expression, and she knew that he could tell that something was off about her today. "Something's...troubling you," he stated, simply.

"Oh, no, Puddin'," Harley assured him as she turned right at a dead traffic light and continued down an empty alley. She sat up straighter and quickly changed her tone. "I'm fine. I'm just…a little tired is all."

The Joker sniffed as he prodded the toe of his shoe at his duffle bag on the floorboard. "You were tired yesterday," he reminded her.

"Well, I haven't been sleeping well lately...I don't know..."

He chuckled as he gave her a quick pinch of her painted cheek. "You need to cut down on the Stephen King stories, cupcake," he said as they pulled up to the abandoned theater they called home.

She stopped and put the car in park, and as they both walked to the front door, the bag thrown carelessly over The Joker's shoulder, Harley soon found herself wrapped inside his free arm. "How 'bout Daddy draws ya a nice, hot bath, hm?"

Her eyes slightly widened at this rare offer. Usually it would be Harley preparing a bath for him, so this sporadic display of affection was definitely going to be accepted.

She smiled at him as she nodded and he allowed her entrance first into their home. "Meet you there, Mistah J?" she asked as she trotted to the stairs.

The Joker stepped to their make-shift kitchen and threw the duffle bag onto the table. His three close men sat around the loot and waited for his instructions. His eyes locked with Harley's and his heart threatened to pound as he sighed and said, "Go on, doll..."

Harley bit her lip and knew that was her cue to leave the Boss to talk to his men.

The Joker turned to them as he casually distributed the contents of the bag to each one. Three bundles were rationed to them and the Boss left the rest of the bills in the bag, zipped it up tight, and tossed it back over his shoulder.

"Meeting's adjourned, gentlemen," he said as he started to the stairs.

Buddy and Ringo obligingly headed to the door with their day's pay, but Elvis, the youngest of the brood, held back just a bit as he watched the Boss open the bedroom door, and he sighed as he heard Harley's playful giggle and The Joker's approving growl.

Later that evening, Harley opened her tired eyes and stretched her naked body. Her right hand accidentally nudged The Joker, who was lightly snoring as he lay on his back, the thin sheets draping over his hips. She grinned as she looked at him and slowly raised herself from the bed and went into the bathroom.

She shut the door and used the toilet, and when she finished, she glanced into the bowl. "Dammit," she cursed to herself. "What the hell is going on?" She quietly opened the door and walked to her vanity where her small purse lay on the seat. She rummaged through it until she found her pocket calendar, and she sighed as she opened it and noticed that she was well past the day that was marked with a star.

She shut herself back in the bathroom and leaned against the sink counter. "I guess I have to go get a test. Man, how do I cover that up?" She pulled her hair in a ponytail. "Okay, Harls. It's okay, really. I mean...maybe it won't be so...I can just go to Ivy's, test there and then...maybe I'm just gonna be late this time and...oh, man." She moaned as she placed her face in her hands. Tears threatened to break through her tightly shut lids and she sniffed hard.

"Oh...this is bad..." she finally accepted. Harley quickly wiped a tear from her cheek as she heard the bathroom doorknob creak. "Harl?" came The Joker's tired voice through the door.

She pivoted to face the mirror, let down her hair again and absent-mindedly brushed it as The Joker, still nude from their playful romp, came up behind her and bit her shoulder. "Mm!" she squeaked in surprise. "Puddin'..."

He sleepily raised his eyes to the mirror and looked at her reflection. He smacked his lips and squinted, saying in a lazy growl, "What did, uh...why was I coming up to our room, again?"

Harley giggled. "You were supposed to make a bubble bath for me."

"Oh, yeah!" he said, jokingly. "Bath. Right. You distracted me..."

She turned to him and put down her hairbrush. "What? How did I do that?"

His eyes traveled down her naked body. "The same way you're doing it now..." He snarled hungrily as he planted his lips in the crook of her neck.

"Puddin', come on!" she said, laughing as his scars tickled her skin.

"Huh? Oh! Bath...gotcha..." He moved away from her and proceeded to finish his original intention of making her relax.

Harley watched as he prepared to pour a heaping cap full of bubbles into the hot water, and she bit her lip. She decided to take advantage of his good mood and cleared her throat. "Mistah J?"

The Joker turned to her after pouring in the bubbles and stepped closer. His dark, tired eyes pierced her blue ones and she took a quick breath before saying, "I kinda wanna go see Ivy tomorrow. Would that be okay, Pud?"

He narrowed his eyes at her and she knew why. The Joker didn't care too much for Harley to be in her company and it was always tough for Harley to go visit her only friend. She quickly placed her arms around his waist and looked up at him. "We're just gonna hang out and watch movies, maybe..." When she noticed an apprehensive eyebrow raise, she added, sweetly, "Please, baby? I need 'girl-time.'"

The Joker snickered. "I knew something was bothering you," he told her as he kissed her forehead and she squeezed him tighter. "Come back..."

Harley gave him her biggest smile. "Of course...I wouldn't leave my Daddy."

He grinned back at her, but it soon faded as he stepped away to turn off the tap to the bathtub. "I don't like you out there by yourself; too many cops. Elvis can drive you."

The next day

Elvis gripped the steering wheel as Harley sat in the backseat of the old black Cadillac. He would glance in the rearview mirror at her as she stared out of the open window, the blonde wisps of hair that had fallen from her ponytail wafting in the cool breeze. He cleared his throat when her eyes cut a glance back at him and he quickly shifted his attention back to his driving.

He always had to be cautious when Harley was around, but it was a bit hard for him when her very presence made his stomach fill with nerves and his mouth turn dry. What was more astounding to him about her was The Joker: why him? Why was this beautiful woman doting after and shacking up with an unbalanced individual such as this sick clown?

He knew that he would never understand it, and he knew that he would always have to watch her from a distance. The thought of this would make the drought in his mouth travel to his throat.

Harley balanced the small potted geranium in her lap as she rolled up the window of her door. She looked down and sighed at the plastic bag next to her on the seat. She had Elvis stop at the drug store on the way, picking up her 'feminine unmentionables,' she had explained with an awkward smile. Harley had instead walked hastily to the 'Family Planning' aisle and grabbed a pregnancy test, throwing cash onto the check-out counter and rushing back to the car.

The ride seemed to take longer than usual but when she looked up to point this out to her driver, Ivy's apartment slowly crawled into view and Elvis was soon trying to parallel park. Harley grabbed her plastic bag. "Don't worry 'bout it, Elvis," she said, feigning a satisfied smile. "I can walk."

Elvis put his arm on the front seat as he turned to look at her. "You sure? When do I need to come pick you up, Miss Quinn?"

Harley gave him a genuine, amused smile. "Eight is fine. Oh, and's Harley."

The young man chuckled as he smiled, half-embarrassed, half-flattered, but before he could respond, Harley was already walking into the apartment building, performing a balancing act with her bag and potted plant as she opened the door.

Elvis drove away, mentally kicking himself for not opening that door for her.

It had been at least two months since they last saw each other and Ivy smiled as she opened the door to find her friend. "Well," she said, crossing her arms with a satisfied grin. "There's my wayward girl. I've been wondering when you would be turning up at my doorstep again."

"Hey, Pammy," Harley greeted her quietly and Ivy was slightly taken aback at the tone of voice that was contrary to her joyful smile.

Harley sat on the loveseat in her living room and set the geranium on the coffee table. "I hope you like it, Red," she said. "The flowers haven't bloomed just yet, but I think they'll make a perfect addition to your-"

"What's going on, Harl?" Ivy calmly asked.

Harley didn't answer at first, but just continued to stare at the plant in front of her. She caressed its sprouting stems. "I wonder what color the flowers will be. Maybe red, or even yellow-"

"Harley," Ivy said patiently.

Her friend bit her lip and sighed. Her eyes soon welled up with tears as she handed Ivy the plastic bag. Ivy raised a brow at her, but her mouth was soon pursed with an expression of concern when she looked at its contents. "Oh...Harley...again?"

"I'm for sure this time, Red," Harley sniffed in reply.

"That's what you said the last two times."

"Red! I'm really late! I'm sure of it!" Harley put her face in her hands and wept as her friend set the bag onto the coffee table next to her new plant.

She sat quietly as Harley cried, then, licking her lips with an expectant air, she asked, "Does 'Daddy' know yet?"

"No," Harley said softly. "No idea. I don't know how to tell him, so I want to make absolutely sure that I'm..." She sighed as she picked up the box and fiddled with the cardboard.

Ivy put her hand on Harley's shoulder. "If can stay with me. This is always your second home." They shared a smile and she stood up, taking her hand and the bag. "Why don't we get this over with then?"

Ivy directed Harley to the bathroom, but Harley soon pivoted to face her and said, "I've read that some brands can be defective and-"

"We'll never know that until you try them, Harley," Ivy said. "Now, go." She sighed and rolled her eyes as Harley shut the door to the bathroom. This wasn't the first pregnancy scare that Harley had, so Ivy knew the outcome already. She always came to her door in fearful tears and would leave feeling as if she could fly, she would be so relieved.

Harley unwrapped the first test and carefully read the instructions. She had to wipe her eyes a few times to clear the tears from her view, but she finally put herself into testing position. She nearly dropped the test into the toilet when her cell phone in her jeans pocket rang, its tone echoing off the tiles of the bathroom.

She let out a startled squeak and fumbled in her jeans that she had left on the floor and answered it, knowing it was The Joker checking on her.

"Hullo," she grunted as she struggled to keep the phone between her cheek and shoulder as she continued the test.

"Hey, gorgeous," he said. "How's the Plant?"

Harley grinned nervously. "Uh, she's fine..."

The Joker was quiet a moment and then said, "Is that an echo?"

She giggled. "I'm on the potty, Puddin'."

"What?" he softly chuckled. "Why the hell do I always catch you in the bathroom?"

"Maybe you have some deep subconscious sexual fetish-"

"Forget that psych 101 bullshit," he interrupted her, "You leave there at eight o clock, you hear me?"

Harley rolled her eyes. "I know, Pud. I told the kid to pick me up then." There was a brief moment of silence and Harley smiled, knowing that The Joker was still apprehensive. "I promise, baby."

He sighed. "See you later, then." Harley closed her phone and shook her head. She was used to his customary 'courtesy' calls, and she knew that he would give her one that day while she was at her only friend's place. Harley concluded that he only did that because it was always difficult to coax her back home as she sometimes went to her friend after they had bad fights.

A while later, Ivy was looking at her watch. "Harley, you've been in there for half an hour. What, did you miss?"

Harley came out of the bathroom, her face nearly a pale green. Ivy's eyes widened. "Harl?"

She didn't answer but just walked back to the living room and plopped herself down onto the loveseat again. Ivy sat beside her and placed her hand on her back. "Harley?" Ivy soon realized that her friend was crying again and a nervous lump soon rested in her throat. "Oh, wow...I guess you're...absolutely sure this time, I gather..."

Harley lifted her moist eyes to Ivy and sniffed loudly. "Positive."