Disclaimer: Stephenie Meyer owns Twilight, not me
Summary: Esme, as she realizes that she wants Bella as her daughter, despite the distance between them
Title: All the Stars in the Night Sky
Looking up at the shining lights in the sky, I knew that I was just wasting my time staring. Still, I couldn't help but realize something. Realize something that should have been clear as daylight to me before we left Forks. We were back in Forks now but it didn't make my stupidity any less obvious. I loved my family, I did. I loved all of them, but now I felt so utterly disgusted by my foolishness. As a mother, I left none of my children. But I did.
I was here for all of my children, and I would be now for the rest of eternity here for Bella just like I was for Edward and the rest of them, but the fact that I didn't realize what I felt and didn't prevent myself from leaving my youngest child was inexcusable.
I think I was in shock; when we first left Forks, I mean. I don't think I realized what it was my family and I had done at first. Edward told Carlisle, me and the rest that we were doing this for Bella's own good, that she would have a normal happy life. Carlisle and I had been so sure that we were doing the right thing. We never thought…..We never realized how much we had hurt her. We didn't realize how much she needed us here. But what was worse….I hadn't realized….It was the worst, my stupidity.
This was why, I now know, why specifically I'm staring up at the night sky. Up at the stars.
I realize that I am like the sky. The sky needed those stars. For without those many stars, the sky would be empty. It's too fitting that I identify with the night. The day has ceased to interest me. It has ever since I became a vampire.
I knew how to look after myself. Carlisle and Edward had shown me how to exist in the world of vampires after my transformation. I knew how to hunt, I knew how to avoid being seen by the humans while hunting and avoid sunlight while humans were around. They helped me restrain my bloodlust.
And yet, I still felt so empty without my dear baby son, William. I never got to know him. I barely had the time to hold him in my arms, but I loved him and always will love him. When Edward accepted me as his mother, I can't begin to express the happiness I felt. Then when Rosalie had been found and we had transformed her, afterwards promising we'd repair the damage that was done to her, emotionally and mentally, I saw my family grow.
It was horrific what happened to Rosalie, I myself knowing too well the terrors of men at their worst, but I saw an opportunity to aid and heal a child that was in need and if there was a higher power, like the one my Carlisle and Edward so deeply believed in, then I thank it for finally having the opportunity to look after a child and be with the child to comfort her.
Then when Rosalie brought Emmett to us, bleeding, ripped apart, mauled, I was shocked and horrified at first, and when I saw Carlisle bite him, changing him, I was both sad for whatever family he lost and yet overjoyed once more. This boy, while losing one family, would gain another. Maybe a family of monsters, but still a family. As soon as this noble, kind boy awoke; albeit awoke quite savage as any newborn, he was also still kind. And I realized after he spoke that I would love him forever.
Fifty years passed, and during those five decades we went from avoiding the humans to being cautious around the Volturi with their occasional….Um, "visits," then finally we had two more visitors.
Jasper Whitlock and Alice.
I thought they'd be the last two children we'd adopt, especially given how uninterested Edward acted towards most female vampires. And female humans. Naturally, at that time, we figured, even if Edward were to fall in love with a human, we would never turn her into a vampire. Our rule, back then, was that if your life was in danger, that was the only way you'd be changed. I used to believe that rule "to a T," as the humans say. I used to believe that rule, and would follow it religiously, no pun intended on Edward and Carlisle's part.
Now, I don't believe I care any longer.
Jasper and Alice were treasures. They were both unruly, strange and dear to us. Alice of course was wondrous and delightful. She brought light into all of our souls….If we had them. Edward doesn't believe we do.
Alice was lovely and sweet and knew how to tug at all of our undead heartstrings. Even Edward's. Jasper….Dear Jasper was a hard nut to crack, again, like something the humans have coined. He was difficult to understand and there were very serious issues he had. There were scars on his dead hear that he probably allowed no one except Alice to see.
When Jasper really started warming up to us, actually started acting like he wanted to be part of this family, the joy I felt was immeasurable, and I knew he felt it. He was an empath after all.
We all were very happy. We were together for almost a century and we didn't think we could be happier, unless of course, Edward found a mate. That, at the time was all I had cared about, apart from my family. In my foolish mind, because almost everything was perfect in our immortal lives, and Edward's happiness I felt was the only thing missing,
Finally, when Edward came home one day from school, seeming to be in a frustrated daze, I hadn't realized it yet, but a defining moment would occur for our family soon.
When my children revealed to me that Edward had finally fallen in love, it felt like I had just been given this beautiful immortal life full of family members a second time. Like I had been given pure happiness for the 100th time.
One thing that I didn't expect though, was that Edward's beloved was a human. I didn't care in that moment. I was shocked, but I only cared about Edward. That, I realize now was the fatal mistake that led me to this emotional torment I'm in now.
When Edward brought this human, Bella home to us to meet, we all, save for of course Rosalie who chose not to show herself, were on our best behavior. When I first met Bella, face to face, I truly felt taken aback. I felt as if I had met an angel on earth.
As vampires, we truly believe that all humans are terrified of us. This human remained unafraid. Even if she was just acting friendly, all of us, including Carlisle and I would have been able to sense her fear. We'd have seen it in her eyes and movements. This child had no fear of us.
That was the first thing about her that shocked me. The very first of many. The next was how accepting of us she was. Not being suspicious of us. Giving us perfect trust. Then there were her deep brown eyes. Her eyes were so understanding and kind. I could see it easily as if her kindness were clearer than the daylight we vampires have to avoid.
But then there was one other thing that intrigued me at the time. Though it was true, Bella felt no fear towards us, there was clearly something wrong when it came to intimacy. She was very difficult to get to open up. Given how unnerved she was around Carlisle and I and around Alice in terms of being intimate, she almost reminded me of a human version of a not so rough and not so angry Jasper.
She looked at us with trust and was unafraid, and yet, when I embraced her, careful not to even bruise her lightly and when Alice held her close, I saw a distance. It was like Bella was fearless with us as vampires, but when we tried to be more of a family to her, that was when she became afraid.
I find myself smiling sadly as I think about it. We really should have seen it long ago. I knew from Edward's description that the girl's mother wasn't as an attentive parent as she should have been, I knew that Edward described their relationship as being the "child taking care of the parent," I knew that. I knew that Bella hadn't seen her father, Charlie in years.
It wasn't as if I really needed my hearing to know that. Everyone in Forks talked about it. The poor sheriff's long lost daughter, finally coming home to Forks. Two years before Bella came to Forks, when my family and I returned to Forks, we heard about the sheriff in his loneliness; having his wife walking out on him as soon as their daughter was born. We always felt a great deal of sympathy for him, some of us were even curious, before Bella even came back as to what this mysterious daughter of Sheriff Swan's was like.
Nothing could have prepared me for who we met when Edward brought Bella to us. And when I think about it now, it's too obvious why she was so distanced from us at first, and even later on. What kind of life did Bella's parents think she'd have, growing up without another parent, and constantly having to look after the other parent as if she was the adult instead of the child?
Renee, if she can even call herself a mother, threw all of the responsibility on Bella's shoulders at a very young age. It's true, it's not as if Bella was constantly given the expectation to be the parent, it wasn't like Renee forced Bella to be responsible. But given Renee's inability to give Bella the nurturing and love she so clearly needed, Bella has become emotionally awkward, nervous in situations where she is being intimate, and almost unable to express how she truly feels. As if emotionally she's numb, like she has a cover that's all an act.
She clearly has a hard time with relationships. Not just her relationship with Edward, just with any of us. With Carlisle, with me, with Alice and Emmett. With all of us, and I know that it's not because we're vampires.
I know I should never judge anyone who hasn't done any specifically horrible crime, especially if the person hasn't harmed a woman in any way, but Renee has angered me. Angered me in a way I never thought possible. Being so weak, leaving Bella to look after both herself and the woman that's supposed to be her mother, has made Bella cautious around people, slightly guarded, and has difficulty showing her real emotions without becoming quite nervous.
Bella doesn't know how to form or how to feel in an actual relationship. Not with any of us. She doesn't know how to respond to us when Carlisle and I show her affection. She seems confused whenever Alice embraces her and even became more confused when I once told her that she could see me as a mother if she wanted to.
Turning my attention to the ground, my smile becomes somber when I think about it. I saw Bella's confusion when I told her. I saw her consider it, but I'm not sure she understood what it meant. I don't think Renee ever actually took responsibility as Bella's mother or actually made her feel like a daughter, instead of allowing Bella to take care of everything.
After my baby William died, I thought my life was over. Carlisle gave me a life where I could be a mother to many young vampires that were lost and needed a parent, but I hadn't even considered the possibility that I could take in a young human as my daughter for eternity.
I had heard Carlisle and Edward's driven arguments for almost longer than a century about how no one should be changed into a vampire unless they are in some kind of danger, but what more danger could there be than feeling unloved?
Edward insists that Bella not be changed into a vampire because he truly believes she will lose her soul and go to hell for it. Before, when we first left Forks, after Bella's birthday, I followed his belief and agreed that maybe it was the best for Bella if we were gone.
Now the things that Edward claim infuriate me.
How dare he take Bella's choice away of whether or not she can become a vampire? How dare he say whether or not Bella stays with us eternally. In some ways, Edward reminds me of Charles; my abusive human husband.
I know that's horrible. Seeing my own son who I've raised for almost a hundred years and who I've loved for so long, but I see the resemblance, and it's an ugly one.
Charles was charming enough outside with other people and with my own parents, but when he and I were alone, he didn't allow me to see my parents, my friends, or anyone else. He controlled my every move. Now, a century later and with a young woman who I've come to love as my own daughter, I see that I'm no better than my own parents. I left Bella, allowing Edward to control my and the rest of the family's actions.
Now Edward is trying to control Bella's every action. He removed the engine from her truck so that she couldn't see her werewolf friends.
I'll admit I'm not too fond of the werewolves myself, but there are miles of differences between how I feel about them and what Edward has done to force Bella not to go to them.
He doesn't have the right to tell her not to go to them, or to make her not to go to them.
Now that we're back in Forks and back in Bella's life, I swore to myself that I'd be an attentive parent to Bella. No matter what. I wouldn't abandon her ever again. I know, because when we left Forks and her, I realized something. Something all too important.
When we left, I felt so empty. So, so empty. I had left one of my dear children. What's more, I left a child that was and still is truly in need of a caring and loving mother. Edward didn't need a mother. For goodness sake, he had the most wonderful mother before Carlisle turned him, who begged Carlisle herself that her son be saved before she died.
And he even had Carlisle to himself for years before I was changed. And I actually once thought that this spoiled, attention monger needed a mother? That was ridiculous. Rosalie needed a mother. Jasper and I suspect Alice to a certain extent needed a mother. What was more the three of them, even Rosalie and Jasper admitted they wanted a mother after a few years. Bella needs a mother and I know, even though she's never talked about it, she certainly wants one.
When we left Bella in Forks, I realized that I was like the night sky that is above me. My family; Carlisle, Edward, Rosalie, Emmett, Jasper, Alice and Bella were my family. And when we left, I had lost one of my youngest stars. I had abandoned her. The realization, when it hit me after the third month of our departure, hurt so badly, I could barely stop myself from going to my knees on the ground and dry sobbing into a tree that I had been leaning against.
No tears came, and yet I so hoped they would. So hoped that there would be some sign for me that I had a conscience and hated myself for what I had done to my youngest child.
At that moment, I realized that I hadn't changed in the past hundred and fourteen or so years. What had I done? I obeyed Edward's rules and abandoned someone I loved, just like I bended every time that evil husband of mine, Charles so much as threatened me.
I might as well have never been changed into a vampire by Carlisle. I was in exactly the same place that I was when Carlisle first found me, almost dead after collapsing over that cliff.
I was just as pathetic now when ordered by Edward as I was when I trembled in terror when around Charles.
The two understandings that I came to would have made me vomit in disgust, had I eaten any human food. Not that we don't vomit anyway when we eat it but still. The first understanding that I came to love Bella so much that I wanted her as my daughter for the rest of eternity and that I had abandoned her was horrific enough, but seeing that Edward was perhaps the same in some ways as Charles almost made me escalate into destroying half the trees in Denali in those hours at those conclusions.
At that time, I had thanked whatever god that might have existed that Edward wasn't there; that he had chosen to go travel elsewhere so that he "could be alone." Because I knew at that moment, if he were there, I would have removed one of his limbs in my fury.
Before we came back, I spoke to the "mother figure" of the Denali coven, Carmen, and she actually smiled upon hearing what I told her. She knew what I was feeling all too well. When she and Eleazar first found Tanya, Irina and Kate in Russia; terrified and alone after seeing their own vampire mother Sasha and the immortal child burned to ashes by the Volturi, she had immediately felt protective of the three of them.
Unable to resist her motherly instinct, Carmen had looked after the three Denali sisters and has done so since then.
True, Eleazar used to be a Volturi guard, so that wasn't really a good thing for his and the three young female vampires' relationship, but Carmen luckily was able to persuade all of them to tolerate each other long enough for the three women to eventually see Eleazar as their father.
Carmen understood everything I was going through and knew how I felt. She promised she'd stay with the rest of my family and Carlisle while I went to check on Bella. Unfortunately, that wasn't necessary. Alice saw something in one of her visions and immediately went back to Forks to check on Bella.
Alice didn't tell any of us, even Jasper what she saw in her vision, only that it disturbed her greatly. She rushed off on her own. She didn't tell any of us….Or so I thought. A few hours later, Rosalie called Edward on his cell phone.
Apparently, Alice did in fact tell Rosalie what she saw, because my oldest daughter was telling Edward what it was.
When I heard what Rosalie said, telling him that Bella had jumped off a cliff…..I felt my whole world destroy, fall apart and decay in a putrid mass of filth. I had left one of my children, and she ended her own life as a result.
My parents left me to Charles and his abusive wrath, delivering me to my suffering and near end before Carlisle found me in the morgue, and now I did nothing but went with what Edward said and sent my little Bella into the same terrible disarray of pain and torment; giving her no way of escape except suicide.
At hearing this; my whole world, now numb, unfeeling and completely gray shattering and eroding, I threw my head back and roared throughout the house, the whole foundation shaking. I let out almost a thousand snarls, smashing the walls of the house and hurling the couch against a wall making the piece of furniture smash to bits.
My whole family, including Rosalie rushed to me, trying to calm me down, even though I know they were all suffering as well at hearing this.
Jasper collapsed to the ground onto his knees, his whole body wracking from the agony of all of our emotions, especially my downpour of anguish. He was almost screaming as he gripped his head, his face full of pain.
Carlisle tried to embrace me, tried to calm me down. I had been so insane with grief that I hadn't paid attention, but his face had contorted in identical agony as the rest of us. He turned to Jasper, pleading with him to send emotions to me to calm me down.
Jasper, unfortunately was having his own breakdown and couldn't do much for himself let alone anyone else right at that moment.
Thinking about it even now, months later after it's all over, it still makes me feel like I'm going to die a second time, never mind whether I'm human or vampire. Just letting the memory run loose through my marble head is enough to almost make me growl in agitation and dread.
I hadn't heard Edward respond to Rosalie over the phone; instead I heard him hang up abruptly at hearing that. I couldn't blame him. At hearing the woman he believed he loved so deeply was dead, he more than likely wanted to die.
It was actually a good thing that he hung up, because I know that if he had stayed on longer, I would have flitted upstairs to Rosalie and grabbed the phone from her, snarling at my first son and child that this was all his fault.
However, after a few minutes of contemplating to myself that Edward probably wanted to die upon hearing about Bella, another horrifying realization hit me. Oh, god, what if he did attempt to actually kill himself?
I remembered hearing Edward and Bella talk in the living room at one point before Bella's disastrous birthday party. They were watching "Romeo and Juliet," and Edward had brought up that if Bella had died at that murderous snake, James' hands, he would have gone to the Volturi and angered them, to the point where they'd kill him.
Horror sank in me and almost immediately as that thought struck me, I temporarily forgot my rage. I was not going to lose two children in one day!
When we went to Volterra and ran into the Volturi guards, Chelsea and her mate Afton, they told us that the three Volturi brothers, Aro, Caius and Marcus were judging Edward, Alice and as they put it, "the little human."
When I heard that, terror filled me at the thought of my children being harmed, but then, if it were possible, my dead heart would have skipped a beat. The little human? Bella? She was alive?
I was almost too afraid to hope. Too afraid to dream that it was true, that she was alive. Then of course, the reminder that if she was, she might not be for long if she was with the Volturi was the fear that reigned in my mind.
Finally, after almost an agonizing hour, all three of my missing children; yes all three returned to me and the rest of the family. And then I focused my attention on the clearly tired and drained, but very much alive Bella. I can't begin to describe the joy I felt at seeing her, and smelling her. Realizing that my youngest daughter was alive, it was all I could do to refrain from almost whimpering in happiness. The fact that several Volturi guards were there, and that Bella looked exhausted were the only things that kept me from lunging forwards and scooping the girl up in my arms and never letting go.
I laid my eyes on Edward who as usual was right next to her. At that moment, I remembered how manipulative and controlling he was to her and for a few moments I wanted to rip my venomous teeth into his neck, hard and scar him as a reminder for what he had done to her. Before I could stop myself, I had already created that frightening thought, and flinched when I saw Edward's golden eyes widen in shock. The visual I gave him clearly wasn't pleasant.
And now…..Now here I am, staring helplessly at the stars, loathing myself for allowing all of this to have happened. Both Edward and Bella are my children, why didn't I look after the both of them better. Damn my weak will. I was weak back with that monster, Charles and I was weak this time with my idiot son, Edward.
Well no more.
I look once more at the dark, starry sky. I have all of my stars back in my sky. I'm fulfilled once more. But there's only one way that I'll feel totally completed. It's if I have all of my children, for eternity.
Bella's call for a vote. Of course I was going to vote for her to become a vampire. How could I not? I loved her. I wanted to look after her and give her the love she deserved for eternity. At that moment, when I had answered Bella's question about whether or not I voted for her to be changed, I suspected that even if the whole family excluding me voted against Bella's transformation into a vampire, I wouldn't care. I knew that even if the whole family refused, I'd probably catch her alone one day and change her into a vampire anyway.
I immediately shielded my thoughts from Edward. I had already disturbed him enough for one night, no need to do it further. What I would do however, was make sure that Bella stayed with us. We had abandoned her long enough. It was time for her to take her place with the rest of the family, forever.
Thinking this, I know that I'm being very selfish and monstrous. I'm letting my more vampiric, more animalistic and greedy side take hold. But I don't care. I love Bella. I want her with us. And what's more I know that she wants to be with us for eternity as well, with Carlisle and I as her parents.
Never mind; I wanted to change her into a vampire myself.
She just doesn't know how to express it to us. She doesn't know how to convey such intense emotions.
I breathe in the night air. We vampires don't need to breathe at all, but it still feels nice to inhale air from outside. Especially on a night like this. I find myself staring at one particular star. It's a very small but very bright star. There was one other like that. I suppose you could say it was the star was the sibling to the one that I was looking at.
These two small, bright stars were two of my youngest. Once Alice and Jasper joined us, I always told myself that Alice was one of those tiny stars. So small but able to bring happiness to everyone she met.
Bella, as well was like the other small bright star. She was so controlled and it was difficult for her to give show of her emotions and yet everyone that met her loved her. My two bright little stars were as important to me as any of my children and my Carlisle.
Yes, too fitting that the daylight and the sun would mean nothing to me now, now that I was a monster. Only the night, stars and moon were my inspiration of passion.
Why would a vampire care for the day?
The day was full of empty promises anyway, even to a normal human. I smirk up at the stars one more time at that thought. It was the night that where anyone, human, vampire or other were truly alive.
Bella would never be left again so long as I could help it.
She wasn't Renee and Charlie's anymore. She was mine and Carlisle's.
She would be taken away from the human world, even if I had to do it myself.
I needed to go find her and tell her that I was sorry for ever even following Edward's instructions and tell her that she was my daughter as much as all the other children were. That unfortunately meant that I'd have to temporarily give up this wonderful sight of the stars and the night sky and go see her.
As I speedily went inside the house to get the car keys, I was met by two of my children. Alice and Jasper were both looking at me in amusement.
I found myself smiling at this. This didn't surprise me. Alice more than likely saw me going to Bella's house and telling her how much I loved her, and that she was going to always be part of the family.
I knew that she hadn't told Jasper; I would have heard them speaking inside, even from outside on the lawn if she had told him anything. But he clearly sensed some emotions in both of us that he was happy about, because he was smiling in enjoyment, probably because of the love and warmth that were coming off of both Alice and I.
I grabbed the keys from the shelf Carlisle had placed them on earlier, and turned back to the two wild vampires before me.
"I have to go see her, Alice," I said quietly, "We need her. She needs us. I don't care what Edward says anymore." That thought then makes me look at Alice more closely as I asked her something cautiously.
"Is Edward going to be anywhere near Bella's home tonight?" Was the question, knowing that I had to be careful of my son interfering.
"He was," Alice said, still smirking, "But he realized he needed to hunt unless he wanted to be more of a threat to her. So he took off hunting and Carlisle met up with him. He'll be gone another couple of hours."
I almost was unable to stop myself from grinning widely, almost revealing the more smug predatory part of my personality. So long as Edward didn't show up, Bella was ours. It wasn't like she would refuse anyway.
I knew that she had wanted to be a vampire for a very long time. The only matter at hand was getting her to admit that she wanted Carlisle and I as her parents.
I looked again at Alice and Jasper and spoke carefully, "When you see Edward again, the both of you hide your thoughts. Don't let him see what I intend, ever."
Jasper didn't know what this was about, obviously but he was not going to allow his mother and especially not Alice be in danger of Edward's anger ever, so he spoke for Alice.
"No, I won't let Edward see my thoughts, mother." He added the last word, obviously to "butter me up," as the human saying goes.
Smiling happily, I nodded to both of them, and started taking off to Carlisle's car outside, when I looked back over my shoulder at my two children and asked, "Alice, you do know what I know right? Bella…..She wasn't given a good parentage, was she?"
It might have been odd asking Alice something like that, but I figured that if anyone knew that, Alice did, either by her visions or because she, out of all of us except for Edward, had been with Bella the longest.
Alice lost smile and shook her head sadly.
"No," She said quietly, "Charlie loves her far more than her mother, Renee does, but Renee kept Bella from Charlie for so long that he's practically a stranger to her now. And Renee couldn't know how to love her correctly even if she was forced with lessons of how to love Bella."
I almost flinched. It was like I had believed. Edward had described how Bella talked about her and her mother's relationship, and she had also talked about this to Alice. Whatever the source of information, I believed it.
I turned back to the door and walked out to the car. It was time to drive to Bella's house.
Half an hour later:
I reached Bella's house and parked a block from it. I got out and went past all the sidewalks to her house, finding the tree that Edward and Alice had used all this time to sneak into Bella's window.
Looking at the window, I find myself guilt stricken again. How could I have allowed Edward to sneak into Bella's room even before they started becoming a couple? Was Edward's happiness really so important to me back then that I had ignored how controlling he had been even then.
He had come into her room uninvited, uncaring whether she wanted him there or not. I amend that I'm about to do the same, however, I at least am going to let her know and am going to be there for a more or less good reason.
Although, I'm not entirely sure I believe this.
As vampires, all of us, by instinct stalk those that we're interested in. It doesn't matter if we mean to kill them and drain them of their blood, or if we want them as our mates, or if we just want them as part of our coven like I wanted Bella as our daughter.
Stalking and hunting is natural for us Vampires, even when we're hunting those we just want as part of our families. Still, I find myself disgusted with the actions I'm about to take.
I flit up into the tree branches, pulling up till I'm right outside the somewhat open glass window. Bella must tend to open the window so that Edward or Alice can get inside more easily.
Strangely, Bella has never condemned any of us for Edward coming in without permission and never yelled at him. I looked through the window and was startled greatly when I saw that Bella wasn't in her room. I was about to get inside the house to look for her when a small gust of wind came by and hit my nose.
Bella's scent filled my sense of smell and I snapped my head towards the woods where the scent came from.
What was Bella doing off in the woods? On her own?
Fear gripped me again for perhaps the tenth time these past two days. At that moment I didn't care if someone saw me. I leapt down from the tree, and with inhuman speed went into the forest after Bella.
As I entered the forest, rushing past the obelisk tall trees, her scent got thicker and stronger.
She was definitely this way; I thought. But why? What reason did she have for going this deeply into the woods? Was she looking for Edward? Why? She knew that he'd always come back so that he could obsess over her in a controlling manner. Or was she hoping that he wouldn't find her? I wasn't sure what happened but I needed to go find her. I needed to speak and plead with her about this.
I knew by now that I had given in almost completely to the greed of my vampire side; I didn't care for any distractions or anything to try and get in my way of changing Bella into a vampire. Even my own first son.
I'd take her away from the human world myself if I'd have to.
Okay, sorry if Esme seems out of character at all. Or if she came off as a little sinister. Though that was kind of my intention. Kind of.
One of the things that gets to me about the Twilight series is that we never get that much emotional insight on some of the characters.
Esme is one of those characters. We never get a very clear look at how she feels or what she's going to do throughout the series, and we never actually explore her relationship with her children, especially with Bella, so I really wish we had gotten more of that.
There will be a chapter after this, just need to gather my thoughts for it.