Beginning Author's Note: I'm not too proud of this chapter. It was very badly written in my opinion. I guess it just wasn't my day. Oh well, that's what I get for trying to create drama. :/ There was just so much I had to fit into the beginning that was crucial to the story (that's right! It's all important! So pay attention!) and I'm not that happy with the way it turned out. So see? I already know how bad this chapter is so please don't flame me and tell me things I already know. I hate it when people do that. T.T
P.S. I don't even have an appropriate excuse for the totally long wait. I'm so freaking sorry you guys. Next chapter I will try as hard as I can to get it written ASAP!
Warning: This chapter contains violence, gore, angst, sadness, and extreme fluffiness at the beginning! :)
Disclaimer: I only own the plot.
Chapter Five: Remus the Pirate
Sirius jerked awake with horror and worry written all over his face. The silent creaking of the ship rocking side to side reverberated throughout his room. He was sweating like crazy but he didn't bother wiping it all off. He had bigger problems to attend to. He had just had a dream that wasn't just a dream; it was a memory. And it wasn't one that he wanted to remember. He had so long tried to repress that memory; even when he was little. But something in him had felt the need to remind him of what had happened many years ago. But he knew the memory couldn't have just decided to show up in his dream like that! Remus had to have triggered it, he thought. It was only logical. Once he began to feel close to Remus, and might actually care for him more than he should, his conscience decided it would be a good time to make him feel guilty and remind him of what he'd done that day that would traumatize him for the rest of his life. He wouldn't even be able to look at Remus the same way again! He would feel too much like a traitor. He held his head in his hands and tried calming himself down by taking deep breaths through his nose and exhaling through his mouth, but at this point nothing would work.
He lifted himself from his bed and walked briskly to his desk, lighting the candles on it when he arrived. He didn't know why he always went to his desk to think. He just figured it wasn't called a desk for nothing. I mean, people always went to a desk for writing and working, but why not just thinking? It's very simple. It involves no writing or working, but still that's not the point. Remus was going to kill Sirius when he found out! Literally! Every second he thought about how Remus would react, he would picture the little 'episode' he had when Snape began insulting his parents. Apparently, that was the type of thing that pissed him off most. And that wasn't what Sirius needed right now. Right now, he needed fresh air.
Chair and wood scraped together as Sirius rose from his seat. The instant he stood up, he found his feet leading him toward the door. He froze when he saw a person sitting cross-legged on the deck; a certain small person who had just starred in his memory/dream.
"Sirius!" Remus looked startled at the interruption. "What are you doing up so late?"
"I could ask you the same thing…" Was the cliché response Sirius came up with.
A short silence followed as Remus looked down at the boards below him in shame. "I just… had a nightmare. And well… you know how that goes, don't you?"
"I do." Sirius sat down beside the boy. "Do you want to talk about it?"
"No." Remus replied all too quickly.
Sirius eyed him with suspicion. He thought the boy was the type to talk about his nightmares after having them. But then again, he remembered he usually had no one to talk to. "Ok then," he finally relented, noticing a hint of relief in Remus' sigh.
More awkward silence followed as the two sat on the hard wooden deck, until Sirius realized Remus had been willingly sitting on the deck. With that thought on his mind, he looked over at Remus with an expression of bewilderment. "When I'm sitting down, I have less of a chance of losing my balance and falling overboard." Remus explained randomly, as if reading Sirius' mind.
"God, Remus, are you still on about falling overboard?" Sirius exclaimed, making Remus shrink away from him sensing he was angry. "What do I have to do to make you get over that?" Remus didn't respond. "Is there any why I can make you get over that?" Sirius asked more sincerely.
Remus smiled sadly. "I don't think there is. Fears don't just disappear out of thin air, like people like to think. You can try and try and try to make it go away, but it just… won't. At least… not completely."
"Well," Sirius began, sounding slightly hesitant. "you know… I won't let anything happen to you, right?" Even though you already hurt him once, his conscience threw at him, making Sirius feel sick.
Heat rushed to Remus' pale cheeks as a small giggle escaped his lips. He was glad it was dark out, so Sirius wouldn't notice. "I know, Sirius. You've told me before. But," his giggles were cut short when a thought crossed his mind. "why do you care about me so much, Sirius?" the question was stated so quietly, Sirius could barely hear it. "I mean… why? Is it because I'm an important person to the world and can't afford to get hurt or… am I an important person… to you?" Sirius couldn't help but see the hopefulness in Remus' wide, golden eyes as he asked the latter part of his question.
"Erm…" Crap, Sirius thought, why do I care so much for him? I mean, I kind of know why but I don't know how to put it in words! "I… don't really… know?" he cursed himself.
"Hey, I'm sorry, but-"
"No, it's ok!" Remus reassured quickly. "Really! I was just… curious… is all." Remus went silent for a while, making Sirius feel terrible as he let the guilt inside him eat away at his heart. He tried to think of something to make the small boy feel better, but he couldn't get any words to come out. "Oh!" Apparently Remus could though. "I forgot! I wanted to give you something!" Remus reached into a pocket in his overcoat with his newly bandaged arm (thanks to Lily's nursing skills) and pulled out a large, sparkling, blood red Ruby. "Here." He held it out Sirius with a grateful smile on gracing his face.
Sirius could only stare. "What… Where-"
"I found it on Hogsmeade Beach." Remus interrupted. "I assumed it washed up from the ocean or something. But when I found it, it was a pretty safe distance away from the tides, so I'm not really sure. I kept it though. Seeing as you're a pirate and all I thought… you know, you'd like this sort of thing…" Sirius continued to stare. "If you don't like it, it's fine. I'll keep it, but-"
"No! I want it!" Sirius defended suddenly, causing Remus to jump. "Sorry. It's just that… well, when someone randomly pulls a Ruby out of their pocket you can't help but be a little shocked." He laughed lightly as he reached over to take the Ruby, his smile widening when their hands brushed. "Thank you."
"You're welcome." Remus replied breathily, entranced by Sirius' breathtaking smile.
They sat there for a while, staring into each other's eyes, both thinking the same thing; You've only known him for three days! He should not be having this effect on you! But their statement was wrong. As they gazed, they didn't notice themselves lean closer and closer. That is, until a thought popped into Remus' mind that brought him back to reality. With wide eyes and a blush on his face, he sat up straight again, unfortunately not seeing the disappointment on Sirius' face. "Sirius, what are we gonna do now?"
Sirius cocked his head to the side in confusion. "What do you mean?"
"I mean, what are we gonna do now? Without Snape's help, we'll never find out what the prophecy said." Remus explained with a frown on his face.
Oh, Sirius thought, that's what he meant. "Well, there is one other person we can go to, but…" He turned his gaze to the ground in embarrassment.
"But… I haven't seen them since I was six years old." He admitted.
Remus was curious now. "Well, who are they?"
"… My parents…"
"Your… parents?" Remus questioned, shaking with silent laughter. "As in… I get to meet your mom?"
Sirius sighed and prepared himself for the teasing. "Yes."
Full on laughter resounded throughout the air. Remus' head was thrown back as he laughed properly for the first time ever. Sirius thought it was the most beautiful sound he'd ever heard. He was actually kind of sad when it ended. "I'm sorry, Sirius." Remus apologized through small giggles. "It's just- I can't picture you ever wanting to visit your mother!" He started laughing again.
"Yeah, well-" Sirius retorted. "I'm not visiting them willingly! I'm visiting them because they can help us!"
Remus' laughter gradually calmed again and instead, turned his head to Sirius in curiosity. "How would your mother be able to help us?"
"My father too! I said parents didn't I?"
"Ok then, How would your parents be able to help us?"
"Because," Sirius ranted. "my father is kind of the King of my village. Not specifically saying he's a 'King'," he added quickly when Remus eyes grew wide. "It's just that he's the Mayor of the village and everyone treats him like a King."
"But that still doesn't explain-"
"Shush! Anyway, apparently, Captain Dumbledore's ancestors obtained the prophecy thousands of years ago by stealing it from my ancestors, so in his will, Dumbledore asked that the prophecy return to it's rightful owner to be used 'When the time is right', so… as of now, my parents have the prophecy, probably locked away in some forbidden room that no one is allowed to enter. They're annoying like that."
Remus took a second to fit all of that in his brain. When he finished, a kind smile spread across his face. "I look forward to meeting them."
"Yeah, I bet you do." Sirius replied sourly.
For the third or fourth time that night, Remus giggled uncontrollably. And besides that, the waves crashing against the boat, a few birds chirping, and the creaking of the wooden ship, there was a peaceful silence. Until-
"Thank you, Sirius."
Sirius sobered immediately and looked over to where Remus stared up at him with admiration shining in his golden eyes. "Thank you for what?" he questioned, all the while growing nervous.
"What do you mean 'for what'?" Remus retorted, looking aghast. "For all you've done for me of course! You're the nicest anyone has ever been to me!" Remus scooted closer, and Sirius shifted back a bit.
"But-" Sirius didn't meet Remus' eyes. "Think of all the terrible things I've done! I knocked you out using an oar, almost broke your nose, and kidnapped you from your village!" Maybe you've done all that to him, but you left out the worst one, Sirius' conscience nagged.
Remus still looked surprised. "But, you've done so many good things too! Like, helping me through all this 'Savior of the Sea' stuff, and keeping me safe from harm even though you… don't know why." Remus' voice grew quiet near the end of that sentence, but he quickly regained himself. "And… you're different from all the other people I've met." Not really, Sirius' conscience kept talking as Remus reached over and took Sirius' hands in his. "You've never hurt me and don't plan to." Because you already did. "I just wanted to thank you for… you know… being the first person I've ever let into my life that hasn't ended up hurting me." Too bad that's a lie.
"Remus." Sirius whispered fiercely, squeezing the hands in his. He couldn't take it anymore. The lies, the guilt, everything! It was too much for him! This was the most guilty he had ever felt and he hated it, just like Remus would hate him when he told the truth. But that didn't matter. Remus deserved to know, and so… he would.
Here goes nothing.
He sucked in a deep breath and looked deeply into Remus' worry-laced eyes. "Remus, d-do you… remember the night… your parents died?"
To say Remus was surprised by the question would be an understatement. He was completely taken aback. No one had ever mentioned his parents to him (other than the reason to make fun of him), which led to the question, 'Why did Sirius want to know'? No, Remus screamed at himself, I trust Sirius with my life now! I'm not going to ruin that by jumping to conclusions like that! He looked to Sirius with a curious yet worried stare. "No. I always try to block that memory out so… it's all just a blur now." It really was. He couldn't remember a single thing. He didn't want to.
"Well then think back!" Sirius grabbed Remus' head in his hands and pulled him close enough to where their noses where ghosting over each other. "Think as hard as you can. Think!"
"No, Remus! No! You need to think back!" He pressed their foreheads together looking into Remus' wide, afraid eyes. "Please." He was pleading now with his lips centimeters away from Remus' own. "You have to think." And then, he touched his thumb to the faint scar on Remus' face.
It all came screaming back to him.
Remus gasped loudly as he shut his eyes tightly and snapped his hands upward to clutch at Sirius' shoulders as the memory crashed into his mind painfully. "Sirius!" he whispered with tears leaking from under his closed eyelids. "Make it stop! Please!"
"Remus, I'm sorry, but you have to remember." He saw Remus screw up his face in pain and concentration. "Don't fight it, Remus! Just let it flow." Remus relaxed but not visibly. His face was still screwed up and he was still tearing. Because it hurt.
It hurt so bad.
"Mommy! Daddy!" six-year-old Remus screamed. He was scared and confused. Where was his mommy? Where was his daddy? He was coughing his lungs out from breathing in the ash of the flames burning his house down to the ground. He could barely see right in front of him, the smoke was too foggy and thick. He heard laughter. Evil, cackling, sickening, disturbing, utterly terrifying laughter. He spun around and around searching for the source of it, but it was too dark. It couldn't have been later than midnight when the pirates attacked their village. It seemed like it was only taking a few seconds for his very short life to flash before his eyes. It was too unbearable, he started to cry. He started to cry out for his mother and his father but the only thing he heard was crackling flames and that laughter.
A thump and louder laughter resounded the air. Remus went running. Running as fast as a six-year-old could run. His tiny heart was pounding in his chest. He just kept running and running without stop. His legs wouldn't allow him. They wouldn't allow him to stop until he found who had screamed, because it had sounded like a woman. It sounded like his mother.
And there she was. She was sprawled awkwardly on the ground with her ocean blue eyes wide open and her ash-ridden chestnut hair splayed out around her head. But he couldn't bring himself to look at the bleeding wound in about the same place her heart should've been before it looked like it was ripped straight out of her chest. She was such a sweet woman. Kind, loving, gentle, helpful, caring, and an overall wonderful lady. But he wasn't that naïve. He was old enough to know that his mother was no longer with him. She was gone forever. And he didn't even get to say goodbye.
Remus was crying harder and louder now, and it absolutely broke Sirius' heart in two.
"Well, well, well…" a snide voice behind him snarled. Remus' eyes grew to the size of a galleon and whipped around to see who was behind him. He was greeted with the sight of two men, one big and burly with a sneer on his face. The other had the greasiest hair he'd ever seen. He was standing in some sort of pose, with his legs spread as he stood tall and proud with his head held high and his hands on his hips. "Looks like we left someone out." He stepped closer and closer and Remus shuffled backward and backward until he almost tripped over the body of his loving mother. He was ashamed. He felt useless and helpless and he hated it. He was only six! This shouldn't be happening to him! "Boy! Get over here!"
A little boy Remus hadn't noticed before stepped out from the ash next to the greasy haired pirate. The boy looked afraid and disgusted, especially when his eyes found the dead body Remus stood in front of, but it seemed he was trying to hide it. He also looked about Remus' age which made Remus curious. He didn't know they had pirates that young. "You haven't done anything at all!" the greasy man shouted over the wood that was starting to fall from the upper floor around them. "You're gonna be a pirate, you're gonna act like a pirate!" Remus was very frightened now, just thinking about what they could and would do to him. But he noticed the boy glance at him through the corner of his eye. He looked worried also. "Take the sword the captain gave you and use it for once!" The man thrust a sword at the little boy, who was now wide-eyed with fear. He shook his head frantically and Remus seemed a little relieved. "Come on! At least hurt him!" more shaking of the head. "… Fine." The man finally consented, but neither little boys had time to even look relieved before he added, "Either you hurt him using that sword, or I will kill him completely!" and smirked when the boy stumbled backward a bit.
So this was it. This was how he would die. Remus always thought he would be able to live before he could die. He didn't have any friends, he didn't have any family anymore, he had nothing. No one. It was probably best for him to die, but he still didn't want to. He wanted a chance to be a real person. Not some shy little kid with no self-confidence. He wanted to do the things his parents got the chance to do. Like fall in love. He would have very much liked to fall in love. But apparently that would never happen. The little boy glanced at Remus again, except this time turning himself completely to him, which gave Remus a chance to get a good look at him. All he could see though was black hair and blue eyes. He looked pityingly at Remus and then at the sword, which was much too big for him, and then at Remus again, then at the greasy man next to him, whose smirk widened and gave a jerky nod.
The boy tentatively approached Remus, all the while looking at the floor avoiding the pleading golden eyes piercing into his soul. When he was close enough, Remus clenched his eyes shut and braced himself for the pain to strike. But before it did, he could barely hear the two words, "I'm sorry." Before a slice of pain shot through his face. He screamed as everything went black.
Remus jolted back away from Sirius' tight grasp and scrabbled to his feet, clutching his head in agony and gasping for breath. He fell against the mast as he slowly lifted his head to stare at Sirius with unbelieving eyes. "You…" he whispered. "You were there! You…" his jaw clenched and his eyes were narrowed dangerously. "You did this to me." He pointed at the scar Sirius now recognized so well.
"Remus just let me explain! Please!" Sirius moved closer but Remus pushed him back, almost making him fall to the ground.
"Let you explain? Why the hell would I do that? There's nothing to explain!" Remus retorted finally gaining his footing back and rounding up on Sirius. "You gave me this scar! You're the reason all the kids I grew up with called me Scar-Face! You're the reason for everything in my life that went wrong! It was all your fault!" Remus unsheathed his sword (which for some reason was still strapped to his belt) and held it in the air above his head. Just as Sirius had done years and years ago. "I trusted you!" he was starting to think to himself how many times he had started tearing up while on this boat. And in his whole life. "Why did I trust you? Why did I let myself trust you? WHY?"
Sirius shifted his gaze to the floor. "I don't know." He held a blank expression as he stared into Remus' eyes and searched them for any emotion other than anger. "Just do it, Remus. Strike me down. Just like I did to you. I deserve it."
It would be so easy, Remus thought. All he'd have to do is swing his arm down and Sirius was cursed the same way he had been. But no. He had to be a decent person. He had to the boy who couldn't hurt a fly, the boy who was all bark and no bite, the boy who was so small, you would think he wasn't above thirteen years old when you first looked at him. Then there was the thought of his mother and father frowning down at him, disappointed in him. They wouldn't have wanted him to be a murderer. They wouldn't have loved him. But he couldn't do it anyway. He just couldn't. And he hated it.
"Forget it!" the sword was thrown down on the wood and Remus began backing away. "You can keep it. Because I don't want it anymore! It's because of you and that sword that I was ostracized from society! It's because of you and that sword that I've never had a friend before! It's because of you and that sword that my life is ruined!" Remus finally reached the door and it was shut behind him.
And now, Sirius was left alone in the dark with two people mad at him. Remus and himself.
It had been three days since Remus learned the truth about Sirius. And for three days he was angry beyond belief.
Of course, everyone on the ship could tell Sirius had done something to piss the poor boy off, but they didn't know what. And they didn't dare ask. If they did, Sirius would probably make them walk the plank, or even worse, throw them overboard himself. He had that much of a temper on his head. But what confused them was that whenever Remus walked past him, he would gaze longingly at the back of his head as if silently begging the boy to forgive him. The truth was, they didn't even want to know what was going on. Until one day they started arguing in the open. In front of everyone. And it gave everyone a pretty good idea of what happened.
"Why the hell would I ever forgive you, Sirius Black?" Remus shouted so loud birds evacuated the area at the noise. "You lied to me about so many things! I bet you were gonna just let me figure out on my own that Snape was the man who killed my parents too, weren't you?" Gasps broke out and heads turned to see Sirius' response.
"I thought you would have known already! I didn't think you were stupid enough that I had to tell you!" and soon, the crew was watching the argument like a tennis match.
"Oh, so now you think I'm stupid? You ruin my life by giving me this scar, and now you have the nerve to tell me I'm stupid?"
"I never said you were stupid! I said you weren't stupid enough!"
"That still implies that I'm stupid!"
"Well then maybe you are!"
"Jesus, I hate you so much right now!"
"Well, you'll be glad to know the feelings mutual!"
"Good! Because it'd be embarrassing for me to reject you in front of all your little friends, wouldn't it?"
"Well at least I have friends to be embarrassed in front of!"
"… That is so low, Black. Even for you." Remus stormed back into his room and slammed the door.
Sirius hid his face in his hand and sighed loudly. "All right everyone, there's nothing left to see here. Get back to work!"
After that little show, everyone knew the secret to Remus' anger and whenever they saw him, the smart people would look away and pretend he wasn't there. The idiots, however, would look at him pityingly and, if Remus caught them, he would growl at them until they got the picture and looked away.
Well, needless to say, James and Lily (soon-to-be) Potter, had had enough of this silly feud and decided to end it once and for all. They had a plan worked out. Lily was going to talk to Remus, and James was going to talk to Sirius. They would get the idiots to calm down and feel sorry that they got so angry, and then… well, they hadn't really planned that far yet. BUT the point was, they had a plan. And it would work.
"Remus, you need to come with me." Lily stated as she forcefully dragged Remus by his unharmed arm into the spare room Remus was staying in. "Why need to re-bandage your arm at some point today, and I don't feel like doing it later, so I'm gonna do it now."
"Ugh. Fine. Whatever." Remus allowed Lily to shove him on the bed and pull his coat and shirt sleeve up to reveal the redish bandages.
Knowing there was no way she could get Remus to say anything on his own, Lily decided to skip any small talk and get to the point. "So, you and Sirius have been fighting for a long while and I think you two should make up."
Remus snorted humorlessly halfway through her sentence. "Please. Why should I make up with that bastard? He ruined my life." He squinted his eyes shut when Lily, probably purposefully, wrapped the gauze a little too tight around his arm.
"You should make up with him because he really does care for you!" Remus could tell Lily was only attempting to make her voice sound calm.
"He my care for me, but he doesn't even know why he cares for me."
Lily smirked. "And how would you know that? Did you ask him." Her smirk grew when Remus' cheeks tinged pink.
"That's not the point, Lily!" Remus snarled. "The point is, he scarred me for life. He scarred me physically and mentally, I'm never going to forgive him! No matter what!"
An exasperated sigh puffed out of Lily's mouth as she finished wrapping the gauze around Remus' gash. "Remus," she began as she kneeled down in front of him and grabbed his shoulders. "He feels bad. He feels bloody terrible about what he did. No matter what you say and, or, think!" she added quickly before Remus could interrupt. "Sirius told James and I the whole story of what happened that day, and from what I remember, he did that to keep you alive."
"I wish he hadn't. I wish he'd just let me die. I would've been with my parents then." Remus lowered his head to the ground and dropped his voice to a quiet mumble.
Lily smiled sweetly at him and lifted his head to meet her gaze. "You may think that, but when you think harder," she chuckled. "Trust me Remus. You wouldn't feel that way."
Remus sat there with pain stinging his eyes. "I thought he was the only person I've trusted that didn't end up hurting me."
"Well, that may not be true… but," Lily leaned in to his ear to whisper, "he's the only one who's ever regretted hurting you. Isn't he?" she smiled in triumph when she saw that flash of realization in Remus' face. "I'll just leave you to think about that." Lily patted his head comfortingly and left the room, leaving silence in her wake.
James found Sirius in the Captain's Quarters sitting at his desk with a quill in hand and a piece of parchment laid out in front of him. "Whatcha' doin' Sirius?" he asked, inviting himself into the room and taking a seat on the bed.
Sirius sighed and scratched his head with the quill's tip. "I'm contemplating whether or not I should write to my parents and tell them I'm coming for a visit. But then again, Remus hates me now so, I don't think he'd want my help anymore, which means I'm probably not going to visit them. That is what I'm doing." Sirius gave a winning, yet sarcastic smile and went back to his blank parchment.
"Look, about Remus." James started. "I think you should-"
"Before you say anymore," Sirius interrupted. "I have already tried to apologize to Remus, but he will not listen to me! I cannot keep trying and trying because he will just not listen. It's too late. He hates me. Game over. End of story."
James rolled his eyes. He'd never seen Sirius this… insecure before. He was so angry and upset with himself, he actually had the guts to admit it out loud. The Sirius James knew, would never do that in a million years. And it was starting to scare him. "Look, he can't stay mad at you forever."
"Yes he can." Sirius muttered.
"No he can't." James retorted. "And if you never try and apologize over and over again, he'll never forgive you. You can't just try once or twice and give up. You have to keep on going. Or else you'll never know for sure what would've happened."
Sirius took that in for a moment, and was about to reply until a loud bang was heard from outside. He instinctively rose to his feet when he heard it and as he did, a crewmember, Peter Pettigrew, stuck his head in the door looking absolutely frightful. "Captain Black! I think you might want to take a look at this." And he scurried back out of the room leaving the door wide open. James and Sirius took one glance at each other and rushed to the door to see what chaos was ensuing out on the deck.
But as it turns out, the chaos wasn't on the deck. It was out in the ocean, near the ship. A black ship, which was a little hard to see because it was getting rather dark outside, was sailing straight toward them, with a tattered pirate flag swaying in the wind. Vaguely, Sirius could see a man standing on the edge grabbing onto the ropes to keep himself up. A quick second was all it took for Sirius to whip out his telescope and see that the man was none other than Severus Snape. "Crap." Sirius slammed his telescope back to normal. "It's that bastard again. And he's moving fast."
"Well, what are you going to about it? Run away with your little tail between your legs and leave the real pirates to take care of it?" A voice asked sharply from behind him. Sirius recognized it as Remus' voice, and truthfully, he didn't want to deal with Remus at the moment.
"Remus," he turned and looked Remus right in the eyes. "I'm going to say this once. If you're mad at me, then quit talking to me! Quit torturing me by talking to me with that tone of yours that makes it sound as if you walked out straight from hell!" Remus would call it an understatement to say that he was slightly taken aback at Sirius' words. "It kills me to know that you're mad at me. It kills me to know that I gave you another reason to hate everything you come across. It kills me to know that you will never forgive me and will always hate me. But right now, I've got other shit to deal with obviously, so why don't you quit killing me with your words and stay in your room!" His voice grew closer to an angry whisper with each sentence.
"And why would I stay in my room?" Remus responded.
"Because, Snape's obviously coming here to attack and I'm not gonna risk you getting hurt, so I want you to stay where it's safe and don't come out until I tell you!"
Remus felt a little tingle in the area where his heart was at the display of protectiveness, but told himself to push it aside and ignore it. Forever. "You can't expect me to just sit in my bed and listen to a full out war go on outside my door and not want to help! You saw the way I handled Snape last time, didn't you?" Remus took a step closer to Sirius without realizing it. "I almost killed him!"
"That's the key word. You almost killed him. You are not going to be able to handle the guilt that is murdering a human being! You're too good to have to deal with that! You're not strong enough to deal with it your whole life!" Sirius took a step forward without realizing it.
Fists clenched at Remus' sides and eyes snapped shut. Remus hated that Sirius was right. He was right about it all. Remus was too good-natured to even want to kill someone. It was too true to have to admit it. It all made sense. And that's what Remus always hated about himself. He was so weak.
Another bang. Sirius whipped his head around again to see Snape's ship was much closer now. So close in fact, that he could clearly see Snape holding an armed pistol that was poorly aimed at his head. "Everyone!" Sirius called, gathering the peoples' attention. "Ready the cannons and ready your weapons! We're under attack! I repeat, we are under attack!" The ship went under panic. The crew ran back and forth, up and down, doing everything they could think of doing before they began battle. They sharpened their swords and daggers, loaded their pistols, and loaded the cannons with the biggest cannonballs they possessed.
"Who do you see coming?" James shouted over the commotion. He was running as fast as he could, pushing aside random people in his way.
Sirius grimly looked over at him, and then back to the offending Pirate ship. "I see Snape."
"What?" James shrieked. In a manly way, mind you. "What's he doing out in the middle of the ocean?"
"I have a suspicion he was looking for us." Sirius smirked and turned back to James. "What I need you to do, is make sure all the weak spots of the ship are guarded by something and that everything valuable is hidden beneath the deck where not even you will remember where you put them."
"Aye, aye, Captain." James saluted and disappeared into the clustering crowd once more.
Sirius glanced around him to make sure everything was going alright. The cannons were prepared, the swords looked sharper than ever (Sirius felt he cut himself just looking at them), the pistols were ready to go in people's hands, and everything seemed ready to go. Until Sirius looked behind himself again and saw Remus standing there with his arms crossed over his chest with a flash of determination in his golden eyes. "Didn't I tell you to go to your room?" Sirius snarled with narrowed eyes.
"Yes." Remus replied calmly, although Sirius' glaring made him a tad uncomfortable. "But I'm not going to."
"And why not?" Sirius growled again taking another step closer.
"Because," Remus shouted, causing everyone to turn their heads toward them, and roll their eyes at the bad timing for another of Sirius and Remus' petty squabbling. "I want to fight! I don't want to be some useless person in the background that everyone thinks is too weak to do anything! I want to be someone that can help! I want to be someone that people learn to be afraid of! I want to be someone that can TAKE CARE OF THEMSELVES!" No sound was made but the crashing waves of the sea and the shouts and jeers from Snape's ship which was now even closer than before. Everyone that had listened carefully to Remus' little outburst knew that deep down, he hadn't just said that to convince Sirius to let him fight. It was the truth.
"Why?" Sirius quietly, yet viciously, asked Remus, who's eyes were now wide upon realization of what he had just admitted. "Why do you want that? You want to be a killer?" Sirius began to slowly circle Remus. "What good would that do you, Remus?" Remus looked as though he wanted to respond but couldn't. He couldn't think of an answer. "Exactly." Sirius spat out. "It won't do you any good whatsoever. You know why?" Sirius leaned in close enough to touch Remus' nose with own, bringing up a memory of That Night. "Because killing… is not all it's worked up to be." He leaned back from Remus' blank expression. "Now go."
And Remus did. But before he turned away, he said, "Why do you even try to protect me… if you don't know why you want to?" and then left.
Sirius couldn't even think, he was so angry. He was so angry with Remus he was so angry with Snape and he was s angry with himself he didn't know what to do. It killed him to the core to actually allow himself to be mad at Remus. He had no right to be. Sirius had ruined Remus' life and yet he acted like Remus was the one that ruined his life? It was uncalled for. Unnecessary. Just flat out horrible of him.
"Well hello Black!" A voice shouted from nowhere. "It seems as though we've found each other by random chance. What a coincidence." Sirius recognized the sneer in the voice and realized it was Snape's. Their ships were now side by side and all of Snape's crew were lined up against the railing and glaring out Sirius' own crew. Snape, however, was looking at Sirius and Sirius alone. "We really should be going now, but… while I'm here I might as well… reclaim… what's rightfully mine." Snape smiled evilly.
"Oh?" Sirius challenged. "What would that be?"
Snape rose his sword in the air. "Must I say it, Black? Surely you know by now." He swung his sword down slicing a rope next to him and a board fell between the two ships making a bridge. "ATTACK!" Snape shouted, and his crew ran over the makeshift bridge and the war began.
Remus huffed and sat on his bed scowling at nothing but the thought of Sirius and his stupid over-protectiveness. He could take care of himself. Why couldn't Sirius see that? It was so unfair.
Remus remembered the first day he spent with Sirius on this ship. The day he learned he was the Savior of the Seas. Everyone had bowed down to him. Practically worshiped him. And now where was he? Stuck in his room while Sirius and the others fought a battle right outside his door. Again, so unfair.
Suddenly, he heard screaming and shouting and metal clanging combined in a symphony of destruction. All Remus wanted to do was run out there and help. Run out there and do something for a change! But he knew that nothing would ever motivate him to get up from his seat and exit the room. Even though he hated to admit it, he didn't like it when Sirius was mad at him. He was frightened by it. Because even though Sirius ruined his life, Lily was right in saying he was the only one Remus ever knew that regretted it.
Out of all the voices he heard screaming angrily outside, Sirius' was the one he heard the best. It was loudest voice out of them all. And all Remus wanted, was for it to stop yelling and growling and snarling at him, and just tell him the three words no one's ever told him: I love you.
And that was what Remus hated most.
"So you think you can take my ship?" Sirius laughed. "Dream on, Snape! Has it never occurred to you that the good guys always win!"
"That's the curse I'm aiming to break!"
Sirius and Snape were fighting the day away. Their swords clashed and clanged together making an awful array of noises and sounds. Sirius knew that this would be a close battle. Snape learned much more about sword fighting than he did. Snape was maybe in his twenty's or thirty's and Sirius was just eighteen. Though, he knew a lot, for sure. He just didn't have to use the skill often so he didn't remember much of it. That was the biggest problem.
Snape's sword suddenly swung down and Sirius hadn't ducked in time, causing a deep cut to form on his leg. It hurt like the devil, but Sirius knew he had to keep fighting. It was the only way to get rid of Snape once and for all. And Sirius liked the sound of that! He sliced his sword to the right and gashed Snape's arm, making him scream like a girl in pain. Sirius smirked as the hint of a tear dripped from the corner of Snape's eye. "What's the matter, Snape?" Sirius taunted. "Can't handle a little cut?"
Snape wiped away any trace of tears from his eyes and stood his ground. "I can! You're the one that can't!" And Snape did something that was low even for his standards. He shot his leg out and kicked Sirius in the cut leg.
Sirius cried out in agony and fell to the ground. He tried getting up, but the leg wobbled and he lost his balance and fell again. Snape laughed. "Now try and fight you imbecile!"
And Sirius did. He fought with all he could on the ground. But it wasn't enough. He was getting dizzy, he was losing too much blood. He was getting weaker and weaker. So weak, that he allowed his sword to be tossed out of his hand by Snape's blade. And then, the very blade was at his throat and a heavy boot stepped down on his chest.
"I'm going to enjoy this." Snape smiled.
"REMUS! YOU GOTTA HELP!" James burst into Remus room causing said boy to jump in fright.
Then he sighed. "Why do you want my help? I thought Sirius didn't want me out there."
James walked up to him, grabbed his arm and pulled him of his bed. "He may think that, and you may think that, but right now, ignore it, and do what needs to be done!" he warned.
Remus shrunk back. "What would that be?"
"Help Sirius." And James ran back out to fight the pirate attacking his fiancé who seemed to be doing just fine out there.
Remus thought for a moment wondering if it would be worth it to risk his life for Sirius. If it was worth it die to keep Sirius alive. To keep all these people alive.
It didn't take long to decide.
He sprinted outside, without a weapon and without a plan. He had to find Sirius first of all. He looked out to the crowd. In all the commotion and movement, he could barely make anyone out. He couldn't tell who was on the Good side and who was on the Bad side. His eyes finally fell on the helm. There were Sirius and Snape, the only people up there. Sirius was on the ground with a pool of blood surrounding him. It took a minute for Remus to realize his leg was bleeding terribly. Snape stood over him, grinning triumphantly with his sword poking at Sirius' throat. "Attention, everyone!" he shouted for all to hear. The fighting stopped and people stared at the scene before them. The Good guy (Sirius) was gonna get defeated, and no one could believe it. "It seems as though I'm one stab away from getting back what's always belonged to me!" Snape's crew cheered and Sirius' crew growled in anger.
This is my chance! Remus thought. I just need to find a way to get up to the helm without drawing attention to myself! He glanced around him. The first sight he noticed was the stairs leading to the helm. No, Remus thought, everyone would see me. I'd be setting myself up for disaster. He continued his search until he spotted a spare rope hanging on the Fore Mast at the other end of the ship. He smiled to himself as a plan began forming in his head. Excellent!
As Snape continued his long, rueful speech about how things were gonna change for everyone once he became Captain of the ship, Remus snuck away to the Fore Mast. Thankfully, being small had helped him remain unnoticed by the crowd on the ship. Finally, once he reached the Mast, he grabbed onto the rope web leading to the Fore Topsail and climbed. He had to be very sneaky about it. Even though everyone had their backs turned to him, the slightest noise could make him noticed. He just prayed Snape didn't catch sight of him. He and Sirius were the only ones facing his direction.
The ropes were surprisingly easy to climb. Not too easy, but kind of easy. The ropes were a bit loose so Remus was afraid that they'd untie themselves at the top and he'd tumble down, to be seen by everyone and be killed for the interruption of Captain Snape's speech, because Sirius would then be dead also. He gasped slightly when one rope snapped and he was left dangling by one hand as Snape said something that made everyone cheer. It was like they were rooting for him to fall to his death. After all, he could never hold himself up for very long. Especially with one hand. It took much effort, but he managed to grab onto the rope above the broken one and continue, very carefully, to climb up the rope web. He then heard Sirius speak, but right now, he was too determined to listen.
After what seemed like an eternity, he reached the wooden post holding the sail in place and smiled to himself as he hauled himself up and stood on top of it, grabbing the hanging rope he spotted earlier to balance himself. One thing left to do. And as he prepared himself to do it, he thought to himself:
Screw not drawing attention to myself! I've always wanted to do this!
Sirius' vision was, somehow, beginning to clear up and he could finally see what was going on around him. To be honest, he hadn't been exactly sure what was happening. All he made out earlier was a sword pointing to his throat, and Snape smiling manically down at him. Now, however, he could see a whole cluster of people, maybe about a hundred, looking at the two of them. Some were grinning from ear to ear, and some were glaring uncontrollably. He recognized the latter expressions as his own crewmembers. Given the situation, he was touched they all cared for him.
That was when his eyes ghosted over the Fore Mast and saw the one and only Remus Lupin clawing his way up ropes to reach the top. His eyes widened and had to stifle a gasp. What is he doing! Sirius thought. He's gonna get himself killed! If I noticed him, Snape's bound to notice him too! He glanced in Snape's direction and saw that he was in fact looking out , but his eyes were on the crowd, not on Remus. Sirius thanked God. But it wasn't enough, for eyes found Remus again, and he watched in horror as a rope broke and Remus hung there desperately. Shit! Don't fall, don't fall, don't fall, don't fall, he repeated until he knew Remus would be ok. When he saw the boy grab on to another rope, he sighed in relief. That was close. He was about to continue watching Remus when something Snape said caught his attention.
"So, Black, the people would like to know. Do you have any last words?" Sirius hadn't realized at first that Snape was addressing him. "BLACK!" After that, he had.
"What's up, Snapey?" he replied, with a slightly strangled voice.
Snape glowered. "Do you have any last words, Black?" he repeated through barred teeth.
"Oh," Sirius exclaimed, playing along. "Nope. I got nothing." He smiled charmingly.
A glance back out at the crowd made Snape smile mischievously. He had an idea. "What happened to your little boyfriend, Black? Did he get tired of you and run away?" Sirius didn't need to ask who he was talking about.
The comical air around Sirius dissipated in an instant. "You leave him out of this!" Sirius snarled. "This is between you and me and no one else!" he was now glaring harder than he's ever glared before.
Snape laughed. "It seems as though I've touched a nerve, Black. What happened to you over the years? You used to be an arrogant idiot and now it seems as though you actually care for someone."
"I do!" Sirius cried out, forgetting Remus was out on the ship and could probably hear him. In fact, Remus was now on the top of a wooden post holding onto a rope and watching them, waiting for the perfect moment to strike. "I do care for Remus!" he lowered his voice.
Snape laughed again, and this time his crew joined in with him. "And why on Earth would you ever care for him?"
Sirius smirked and stated loudly for everyone, even Remus, to hear. "Because, whenever I need him, he's there to save my ass!"
"What?" Snape looked thoroughly confused, until-
"HEY, SNAPE!" Remus called as if on cue. Everyone turned in his direction with bewildered expressions. "Next time, before you attack someone, why don't you think about who you're messing with!" Then, he jumped.
The whole scene seemed to go by in slow motion.
Remus jumped off the pole and swung on the rope like a monkey in the jungle would swing on a vine. And when he jumped, the rope was pulled and he realized, without care, that the rope he chose to swing on was the rope that released the hold on the pirate flag. From Sirius' point of view the picture was amazing. Remus swinging with aggression written over his face with the huge pirate flag billowing in the wind behind him. It looked it should have been staged or something. On the way down, Remus was close enough to the ground for James to call out his name and toss him a sword. Remus caught it with ease without even turning his head.
Remus landed on the helm directly in front of Snape, who was too shocked to move, and pointed the sword James tossed him to his greasy nose. "You better leave right now!" Remus threatened. "I've had enough of you! First, you're too much of an ass to help me with the most complicating thing I've ever had to deal with, ever! And then, you waltz onto this ship and think you just kill Sirius and take it for your own? Oh, and let's not forget, you killed my parents!" Gasps rode around the crowd at the confrontation.
Snape's eyes went a bit wide. "How do you remember that?" He whispered.
"That was my fault actually." Sirius cut in, making all eyes shift toward him. "I told Remus that I was the one who gave him that scar on his face and he remembered. I just… hope he can forgive me for that." Sirius gazed hopefully into Remus' eyes.
A slow, staggering smile itself across Remus' face for the first time in about a week. "He can." He replied with his voice shaking a bit.
Beaming, Sirius felt a surge of strength and reached up his hand to successfully shove Snape's foot off his chest and rise up on his leg. He staggered just a bit, but Remus ran up to help keep him standing. "You shouldn't be standing!" Remus warned him, feeling a bit unbalanced himself from the added weight. "You're hurt! You need to lay down!"
"I don't care!" Sirius threw his arms around Remus' waist and held him close, shocking the small boy immensely. "I'm just so glad you forgave me." He squeezed harder.
Remus smiled and blushed furiously as he hugged Sirius back and snuggled into the embrace. "I'm glad I did too."
Apparently the display was adorable enough for everyone on the ship, even Snape's crew, to sigh out, "Awww…" and smile warmly. Snape, however, was not amused.
"Alright, alright! That's enough!" he exclaimed, ruining the one happy moment Sirius and Remus had had in four days. He moved between the two and shoved them both apart, making them fall to the ground on opposite sides. Snape loomed over Sirius once more. "I'm just gonna have to get this over with as quickly as possible!" he raised his sword in the air, waiting for the pain to come.
"STOP!" Remus shouted. Snape's eyes glanced toward him, as did everyone else's. "If you're gonna kill Sirius," Remus puffed his chest out proudly. "then you're gonna have to kill me too!"
"What? Remus, no!" Sirius exclaimed.
Snape laughed. "That's not much of a challenge, is it? Kill the wounded Captain and his midget of a boyfriend? That's not so hard. In fact," he sauntered over to Remus, who hadn't moved an inch. "Why don't I just kill you right now so your boyfriend can suffer by having to watch?" in one swift movement, he grabbed Remus' wrists and held them behind his back and pulled them together chest-to-back with a sword held up across Remus' throat. Snape challenged a glance at Sirius' devastated face. "Say goodbye, Black."
"NO!" Sirius tried to get up, but his leg kept giving out.
"WAIT! IF YOU'RE KILLING REMUS AND SIRIUS, YOU'RE KILLING ME TOO!" James shouted from the center of the crowd with his hand held high in the air.
Snape was about to consent to that, also, until someone else spoke out. "If you're killing those two plus my fiancé, I'm going down too, dammit!" Lily screamed.
"And me!" another voice shouted. It sounded kind of like Pettigrew's voice.
"Don't forget me!"
"I want in on this, too!"
"I feel left out now, count me in!"
"We want in too!" said a remnant of Snape's crew. All the rest of them nodded their heads in agreement.
"What?" Snape exclaimed. "Why the hell would you care if these tow are alive or not? They're nothing! They're worthless to you! Why do you want them alive?"
"Because!" Remus exclaimed, helping Sirius up off the ground after the he assured Remus his leg was feeling better. "We can offer them something you never could!" both he and Sirius started rounding on Snape.
"And what's that?"
Sirius and Remus had now slowly backed Snape up against the rail of the ship. The two glanced at each other with knowing smiles and turned back to Snape one last time. "Humanity!" they exclaimed together. And everyone cheered as they pushed forward together and sent Snape over the railing resulting in a loud splash from below.
As everyone cheered and celebrated Sirius and Remus both looked down into the water at the spot Snape had fallen. "Damn!" Sirius suddenly muttered.
"What?" Remus returned.
"We should've made him walk the plank. I never get to use that thing!"
Remus laughed. A real laugh. A laugh that sounded like tinkling little bells. And Sirius knew everything was back to normal again.
Later on, after the small celebration died out, Snape's crew (or ex-crew if you'd like to put it that way) apologized for their violent behavior from before and thanked them for ridding them of Snape, which, they were all too happy to reply, "You're welcome," to.
"Remus." Sirius stated as they waved goodbye to the ship sailing away with a better Captain than before. "You do realize you're a real pirate now, right?"
Remus smiled slightly. "Yes. I do, Sirius."
"And you're okay with that?" Sirius asked uncertainly.
Remus turned to Sirius with a grateful smile gracing his lips. "Yes, Sirius." He rested his head on Sirius' shoulder and sighed.
"I'm definitely okay with that."
Ending Author's Note: There you go! The crappily written fifth chapter. T.T But anyway, next chapter will be written AS FAST AS POSSIBLE to make up for this! D: Again, I'm sorry it took so long, but the next chapter is definitely my favorite! You'll find out why when I update! XD