a/n: short story! kinda sad though. :(
comments, questions, & suggestions are appreciated!
He used to ask, "Gokudera, wouldn't I make a nice husband for you?"
Now he only asks, "Gokudera, wouldn't I make a nice husband?"
But my response is still the same: "Yes, Yamamoto. You will make a wonderful husband."
I am to blame for the change in his thinking. Naïve, young Yamamoto was so in love with me. Who can blame him? In your teenage years, you're willing to love with an open heart and mind. The outside world doesn't seem so bad because you're still young. There's a grace period where adults forgive you. You think that you're invincible. All these ways of thinking disappear after a while, you mature and childhood dreams fade.
He told me once, "Pops said we can't do anything. You know, gay people. 'You think you can,' he said, 'but you won't change people's opinions and ideas.' He said we couldn't have a real relationship like normal people." No more does he think that he's invincible. You can see the determination when he fights; protecting me, protecting Tsuna because we are not invincible any longer. Growing up does this to everyone.
Again, I am part of forcing him to grow up. I understand he won't be able to live normally in a relationship with me. Through the years he has been so nice to me. Still to this day I cannot figure out why he has been so damn nice to me. To protect him, I began to distance myself from him.
He asked me one day, "Did I do anything wrong, Gokudera? Was there something I said or did?" And I couldn't answer. If anything, he did too much. He tried so hard, put so much of his being into loving me. My distance began to grow; I tried my hardest to make him leave me. But the baseball idiot tried harder for some reason.
Then one day, he gave up.
Or maybe I didn't notice and it was a gradual change. Our Helicon days were over and he met her.
I imagine her perfect in every way: she's tall and athletic, Japanese and wholesome, bright and cheery. I haven't met her and I am not sure if I want to. But I imagine that she's the most beautiful woman and deserving of Yamamoto's love. In my imagination she's the opposite of me, the best for Yamamoto.
On their wedding day, I help him get for the ceremony. I slide his tuxedo jacket onto his arms and over his shoulders. He peers at me from the mirror we stand in front of. I don't meet his eyes.
He asks, "Am I going to make a good husband?"
I can only answer, "Yes, Yamamoto. You're going to be a wonderful husband."