Here's my first attempt at slash. I got a giggle while writing this, hope you do too.

This is rated M for a reason, if you're easily offended by the a guy having another guy's cock in their mouth please don't read on. It might be hazardous for your health. There might be some not-so nice slang in there, it's not meant to be offensive, but if you are offended by it. Sucks for you, stop being a prude.

I have to thank my International Master Beta, Diane for fixing stuff and making it sound purdy.

Also, I don't own the rights to "Satisfaction" by The Rolling Stones, "What's Love Got To Do With It?" by Tina Turner oh and Twilight. I do own a piece of shit iPod that doesn't work anymore.

"I. Can't. Get. No. .. I. Can't. Get. No. .. .NO!" I belt out the lyrics to a song I didn't really know, except for that one lyric into a seemingly empty room.

It was fifteen till midnight. Mike and I had to close shop tonight. Why we need two people to close this burger joint is beyond me. It's not like anyone is going to try to break in at mid-fucking-night for the forty bucks in the cash register and the cold as fuck leftover burgers and fries. The frozen yogurt might be worth stealing. If you're a stoner, maybe. I chuckle at my cleverness.

I keep on humming and swinging my hips to and fro to the non-existing music playing in the background.

Yeah, I'm a pretty fly dancer. I know this, mayne.

"What's love got to do, got to do with it?" I pop my hip to the left, "What's love but a second-hand emotion?" I pop my hip to the right, spin around Jackson-style, throw my hand up in the air and let out a shrill yelp.

"You know you just butchered two of the best songs ever written by man?" Mike said smirking, leaning on the door frame.

"Dude, don't be sneaking up on me like that. You might end up getting punched in the face by these mighty paws of fury." I said fisting said paws and placing kisses on the bare knuckles.

He laughed. I did too. I'm a funny fucker.

"I wonder if every part of you is as mighty as your paws of fury?" he said cocking an eyebrow at me and-

Whoa! Did he really just eye-fuck me and continue to lick his lips?

I'm not sure how I feel about this new attitude from Mike. Is he for real? Or just messing with me?

No, I'm pretty sure he WANTS to mess with you though.

"Might want to ask Rose that next time you see her," I chuckled nervously.

"Yeah, maybe I'll do that." pushing himself off the door frame, strutting towards me. "Or you could do me the honor of showing me yourself."

.. This cannot be happening. I'm getting hit on by a dude! Emmett does not get hit on by dudes! This just does not happen.

"Keep dreaming Mike. I'm all about cooter and all that good shit." I said laughing and mock-punching him.

"Yeah yeah, that's what they all say. You know, it's perfectly okay to be curious. All of us have thought about being with a member of the same sex, it's perfectly normal." Smiling still while taking a step closer to me.

"Uh. No. I can honestly say I've never wondered what it's like to fuck another man. I think that tidbit only applies to women." I took a step away and punched him again, a little harder than the first time.

"So, you've never wondered what it's like to get head by a guy? Don't you think it would be better from someone who knows how it feels and what's more pleasurable," he looked at me with hunger in his eyes. Those hungry eyes traveled down to neck, across my chest down my fuckawesome abdomen and lingered at my crotch.

"Again I say. Uh. No." I try to give him my best I'm-not-fucking-with-you look and turn my back towards him to finish cleaning up the sinks. Quite honestly this guy was freaking me the fuck out. Now I know how Bella felt when James tries to make a play at her.

Dude, you just compared yourself to a girl. Maybe you should let Mike suck your dick.

Just I was about to punch myself in the face for even thinking that, I felt his hand on my shoulder. Oh fuck no, this bitch didn't just touch me!

Turning around with the fiercest look on my face, Mike was smiling. FUCKING SMILING, like the cat that ate the motherfucking canary. The look on his face gave me the chills, not in a good way -but it didn't make me want to knock his teeth out of his head either. This is definitely the weirdest predicament I've ever come across.

"Don't worry Em, I wouldn't dream of telling another soul. Just give me a quick taste," he cooed at me.

He didn't step closer to me but he didn't move back either. I suppose he was just trying not to stand within arm's length so I wouldn't sucker punch him.

"And of course you don't have to return the favor. This is something I've been wanting to do for the longest time. I won't tell anyone. I promise."

A part of me wanted to beat the shit out of him for even bringing me into this fucked up situation. The other part of me couldn't really blame him. I am a hot motherfucker. Is that enough to let him get a taste of Mr. Incredible?

Now, let's set the record straight here. I love coochie. The temptation to get my dick sucked by this dipshit standing before me does NOT mean I will EVER part ways with the beloved coochie.

Slowly as he stepped towards me looking straight at my crotch, he licked his lips. I saw the same hunger in his eyes from earlier.

"Please Em," he pleaded, dragging his eyes up to my face, "Just let me give you head this one time, you won't regret it. Trust me."

Taking another tentative step towards me staring at Mr. Incredible, for a second there it seemed like he had x-ray vision or some shit. Honestly, the fact that my dick was twitching was kind of pissing me off and freaking me out all at the same time.

Coochie, Coochie, You like the coochie. Silly faggot, dicks are for chicks. Cooter, it's all about the cooter.

"Mike, seriously dude. This is beyond fucking crazy. I should knock your eyeballs out of your fucking skull for this shit you're trying to pull on me."

Maybe he was trying to play some sort of prank on me along with his douchebag friends.

"Just tell your dumb friends to come out from where they're hiding, that way I won't kick their asses later."

Mike lifted his eyebrow at me and stared out as if debating something with himself.

"No joke Emmett. There's no one here but us. I want to give you the best blowjob you've ever gotten. Don't think for a second you're the only I've offered my um..." he fucking smirked at me," services to. You'd be surprised if you knew who said yes right away."

I stared at him dumbfounded. There have been others who've said yes? I wonder if Mike has gotten to any of my boys? Hmmm...Edward was probably one of those that said yes right away. I couldn't keep the laugh that was forming up in my chest.

Mike didn't waste any time in taking this as encouragement, he stepped closer to me, dropping to his knees right in front of me.

Yeah, Mr. Incredible is definitely semi-hard at this moment.

"Trust me Em, you won't regret this and it'll never leave this room." Looking up at me he began to undo the button on my pants. Licking his lips he slid the zipper down, reached into my pants (that's right, Emmett McCarty goes commando. Don't look surprised, it's not like you didn't know this) and pulled out Mr. Incredible.

TAA-DAA, motherfucker.

"Ta-da Indeed." He gasped as he held my ginormous cock in his hand.

Oh, shit I had said that out loud. Gotta have better control of my inner-monologue.

He looked up at me and smiled. Call me a cheeky fucker, but I smiled back. I know my dick is huge and I'll be damned if I'm not proud as fuck of it, even if it's a dude that's being astounded by its glory.

He began to caress me gently, sliding his soft hands up and down my shaft making me harder. He sped his ministrations slightly, putting more pressure on his way down, flicking his tongue to meet the head of Mr. Incredible, that shit sent chills up my spine. He slid his mouth over the top of my cock suctioning softly but didn't stop the pumping of his hand as the pressure was increasing. In one swift movement half of my cock had disappeared into his mouth.

I hissed as his saliva started to coat my shaft. So hot and wet.

He began to move his head along with his hand, sucking harder every time his head came up. His previously idle hand began to caress my balls.

Fuck, that shit felt so good I let out another groan, making him hum while my dick was still in his mouth.

Fuuuucckking corndog on a stick.

I grunted and thrust my hips into his mouth and my dick slid further into his mouth. He let out a quiet gagging noise but seemed to quickly right his wrongdoing. I looked towards the ceiling in hopes to forget that it was a dude on my knobs. I felt his head bobbing up and down in sync with his hand still applying pressure on the end of my shaft, balls still being massaged. Fuck, it was like a little spa treatment on my boys. His hands were really soft too.

He pulled my dick out of his mouth with a slight pop sound, I was about to ask "What the fuck?" when I felt his tongue at the base, then slowly making its way to the top before circling the head with just the tip of his tongue. He began to pump my rocket of lust up and down, he pulled one of my balls into his mouth and began to suck, and then he hummed again. My knees threaten to give in from the pleasure I was feeling at that moment.

This shit would have been a shit ton easier to do if I had been sitting down.

He moved on to the next ball and gave it the same treatment, his hand never stopping. He let go of my nuts and with the other hand he grabbed my hand and placed it on his head urging me to take the lead, so I did. I began to move his head at a faster pace; my hips started to meet his mouth of their own accord. Trying to get to the very bottom of his throat. I wanted him to swallow that fucker, not literally of course. I couldn't deprive my woman of its amazing Fuck Power.

I felt his hands on my thighs easing my thrusts into his mouth slightly; they massaged the tense muscles there. He added a little more suction to my cock and I slowed down in order to process the pleasure correctly. I relaxed and gave a sigh.

He began to hum. I grunted and let my eyes fall into the back of my head, my jaw slightly slacked. I almost lost my shit when I recognized the tune he was humming.

Eye. Of. The. Tiger.

He sucked harder and hummed louder creating a whole new level of sexual nirvana I can't even fathom putting into words.

My thrusts became more sporadic and quicker. I started to feel the burn of impending orgasm begin to boil in the pit of my belly. Then he touched the soft patch of skin right beneath my balls and I completely lost my shit.

"Oh shit, oh shit, oooohhh ssshhiiiiittt!" I yelled out as I came inside his mouth in quick spurts.

My bones felt like they'd turned into mush, if I had not been hoping to retain my last sliver of dignity I could have fallen over. I looked lazily down at him; he still had my cock in his mouth swallowing the very last of my man-milk. He cocked (pun intended) his eyebrow at me and smiled, or as much as one can pull a smile off with a ginormous cock in your mouth. He gave one last swirl of his tongue on my mini head and popped out my now flaccid but delighted cock.

I stood there feeling exhausted and awkward. I had no idea what to do, so I did the first thing that popped into my head. I patted his head as a thank you, tucked Mr. Incredible back into my pants and smiled at him.

"Heavenly," he said as he stood up, "Like I always thought it would be. Have a great night Emmett. Make sure you lock up"

He left me there in the middle of the kitchen to close up shop just as my pocket started to vibrate. A text message from Jake.

Dude get to Edward's NAO! Beer pong war and you're on my team bitch!

I debated not going, but maybe getting drunk would be a good idea. No school or work tomorrow.

On my way. Don't start without me fudge packer.

I ran up the front stairs and let myself in Edward's home. It's basically been a second home to all of us, his parents are hardly ever here and when they are they lock themselves in their room for hours without even bothering to see what we're doing.

The beer pong tables are already set up all over the living room. They had the bright idea to set up that fake grass shit all over just to make sure that the hard wood floor wouldn't get all fucked up.

"Sup Motherfuckkeerrss!" I yelled.

Jake looked up from staring at Bella's tits, in his defense she was flouting her shit like she didn't know he wanted to bang her into next year. I can't blame the fucker for looking, I looked too. Everyone was settled around the tables, teams already picked, I guess they were waiting for me.

"What took you so damn long fucker?" Edward shouted at me even though he was right next to Jacob, he was already kinda drunk judging by the unusual loudness and goofy grin on his face. And him not caring that Jake was ogling his girl's fun bags.

"I had to close up shop with Mike tonight," I explained as I walked over to the table where Jake and quite a few other guys were standing around the table.

Jasper, who was standing to the left, suddenly thought the inside of his cup was real interesting. Jacob started coughing and wouldn't look at me in the face. Edward suddenly became very quiet and kept ruffling up his hair and looking at his shoes. Embry choked on his beer. Carlisle, who had decided to join in the Beer Pong war with his kids, cleared his throat and began humming the theme song to Dr. Who.

Everyone's head shot up to see Carlisle, shell-shocked.

He cleared his throat. No one else said anything.

"Let's get this bitch started!" Bella yelled as she looked at Carlisle in the face and said, "you're going down pops!"