Author's note: Unrepentant smutty stuff. Gay sex, and all that. Don't say I didn't warn you.

Standard disclaimers apply.

AU-ish, because it's so much easier to write fluffy smut that way. No Kira and the like, just happy fucking. This can sort of be seen as a continuation of 'Sprained', but it certainly isn't necessary to have read that first. Just the same story-universe, mainly.


Chapter One

"Don't worry, it only seems kinky the first time." – Author unknown

"I believe that is my sock, Light-kun."

"Wrong. You don't own socks, L. If you're going to lie at least make it semi-believable. Now quit stalling and start getting dressed, or we're going to be late."

"I own socks. I simply put them to better use than the one for which they are intended."

"If you're talking about the unfortunate wad I found shoved under the bathroom sink, I took those. They might as well be used by someone who knows what they're for. Toss me my shirt, will you? It's folded on the foot of the bed there."

"No, I don't think I will. That doesn't sound interesting to me at all. In fact, why don't you take those trousers off and come back to bed? Those horrid socks, as well. That sounds much more agreeable."

"L. Stop being a child. I know you remember that we're meeting my parents for lunch today, and if you don't get out of bed and start getting your clothes on I am going to suspend cake privileges."

"It seems a little contradictory to tell me to stop being a child in one sentence and then threaten, in a very parental manner, to suspend my privileges in the next – do you not think so, Light-kun?"

"Damn it, I forgot this was missing a button. Your fault, by the way. And I don't care how contradictory it is, just get your stubborn ass out of bed and into your clothes. We're leaving in five minutes."

"Thank you, but I'd rather not, I think. I did not actually agree to attend lunch with your parents; you simply assumed I would go because I did not protest when you informed me yesterday – in a rather authoritative, high-handed manner, I might add – that we would be subjecting ourselves to suspicious glares from your father and awkward attempts to allay tension from your mother. Not in those words of course, but that was what you meant."

"'Awkward attempts to allay tension'? How very alliterate of you. And actually, I assumed you were going because I was under the impression you liked having your dick attached to your body. Clearly I was wrong. Have you seen my other shoe?"

"I believe it has taken up current residence beneath the kitchen table, no doubt enjoying a wild bachelor's life free from the demands of its high-maintenance partner. I envy it. I think it is safe to assume that it does not have the unpleasant obligation to attend lunch with overprotective parents who still hold it responsible for corrupting and apparently gayifying their innocent child."

"Feel free to join it under the table then, by all means. Just don't expect to be getting any sex for a while. Maybe the two of you can take care of each other's needs, as I doubt this 'wild bachelor's life' will contain anyone willing to sleep with a little goblin of a man living under a table with a shoe. Speaking of which, how did my shoe end up there anyway?"

"It no doubt got tired of its partner's constant threats against its sex life and unwarranted insults to its appearance and therefore fled to freedom. And Light-kun, were you suggesting I have sexual relations with an article of footwear? That does not seem sanitary."

"I'm suggesting you shut your mouth and get dressed. I'm going to get my shoe, and when I get back I at least want you to have your underwear on. A clean pair, by the way."

"I wonder if you realize how much like a parent you sound. …Oh, and Light-kun…LIGHT-KUN! LIGHT-KUN, WILL YOU BRING ME A PIECE OF CAKE WHILE YOU'RE IN THERE? …LIGHT-KUN? …LIGHT- ah, you're back. But you did not bring me cake. Could you not hear me calling?"

"I think the entire apartment building heard you calling, L. Now for the last time, stop being a mule and just get out of bed. I'm not joking about the 'no sex' thing, either."

"I'm afraid I cannot do that, Light-kun. It has become a matter of principle, you see. I am L, and L is not bullied or threatened in such a heavy-handed manner. What sort of defender of justice would I be if I allowed that? I cannot in good conscious allow you to coerce me, the world's pillar against crime, into doing something against my wishes. I hope you can understand. You are a very nice lay, but if a choice must be made between your ass and my principles as L, I will be on the side of justice. I'm afraid you will have to attend lunch with your parents without me. I do not mean offense, but-

"…Light-kun? What are you doing? Light-kun? Hold on, Light-kuuunmmmhhnnAhhhh… I'll have you know, hah, that I will not be swayed by your wily kisses, either, or- Oh! Ahhh…that's cheating, Light-kun, you know I am very sensitive there…"

"Shut up, L."

"I'm trying, Light-kun, but it's very hard to be quiet when you're- ahhh! Oh, yes keep doing that. I thought you were supposed to be leaving in the next…minute and…mmnn, and forty-six seconds…hah…forty-four seconds…forty-three…forty-Ah!"

"I am. I just thought I'd be generous and give you something to think about during the next two weeks – stop squirming, I know you like it on your nipples – because all you're going to have is your hand and your principles, and I doubt either of those are going to be much help."

"Hah…hah…that may- Ah! be so, but – oh yes, right there, Light-kun – if you continue with your current activities I will soon become erect, and it seems unlikely you will have the time to nngh, finish by then, which does not seem entirely pleasing to me."

"You know, I believe you may be right. Look – you're starting to get hard now, in fact. Eager little thing, isn't it? Just pops right up."

"I do not appreciate the diminutive language you are using, Light-kun. Especially considering yours is much sma- Aaah! Light-kun! Oh, good god… Aahh… Are you not going to be kissing your mother with that mmn mouth soon?"

"Right again. Speaking of which, I need to be going now. See you in a couple of hours. You'll have to let me know how well your principles take care of that problem for you."

"Light-kun! This isn't funny! Come back here, Light-kun. Duress can be punished by law, I'm sure you're aware."

"'Duress'? What duress, L? It isn't duress to give my boyfriend a friendly blowjob before I leave. There's no way you could take that to court."

"I believe you may actually be evil, Light-kun. I had suspected it before; this merely confirms it."

"Yes, yes, I'm the physical embodiment of all things wicked and depraved. I don't know how I will live myself. Probably more easily than you will with that wood there and ooh, two weeks without sex. I doubt that will be fun. Well, see you in a bit, darling."

"Oh bugger it…LIGHT-KUN! Just wait a minute, I need to…uh, I need cold water, first…LIGHT-KUN!"

L had a great deal of professional respect for Yagami Soichiro. The man had a work ethic and dedication to justice almost unparalleled among police forces across the world. He was a solid, honest servant of the law, without a single streak of duplicity (unlike a certain other Yagami which L could mention), and a good man – a rare find among the police of world.

As a father-in-law type figure, however, he was a little intimidating, even for the world's greatest detective.

"Light-kun," L hissed in a quiet mutter at his boyfriend, who was smiling with unbreakable charm at his parents across the table of coffee mugs (one teacup) and barely-delivered plates of sadly sugar-free food. "Your father is glaring at me."

"Of course he's glaring at you," Light hissed back, his smile never faltering as he took a sip of gaggingly unsweetened coffee ("no sugar, just cream, please"), hiding the words in the rim. "You're sitting like a gargoyle. Put your feet on the floor."

"But that-"

"You don't need all of your thinking ability in this situation! Just do it!"


"Is everything alright, Ryuzaki-san?" Sachiko broke into the heated, whispered conversation timidly, her eyes glancing with cautious concern between L and Soichiro, whose frown was becoming more pronounced by the minute and would probably reach past his bristling moustache soon.

"Quite alright, thank you. I was merely inquiring if Light-kun had informed you of his recent promotion at work." Considering Light spent most of his time at school and the rest of it working under L – in both meanings of the phrase – this was something of a lie. But since Light's parents were under the impression their precious son was currently employed in a job more conventionally respectable than bothering the greatest detective in the world with his annoying flashes of insight and even more annoying smugness when his insight was correct (which happened more often than L liked to admit), L saw this as a necessary lie.

The Yagami's were already well aware of the sex part of the 'working under L' job description, which was the reason for the doom-promising glower that had been leveled at L perpetually for the last eight months whenever he was around Light's parents, ever since Light had finally introduced L as his boyfriend. Well, introduced 'Ryuzaki' as his boyfriend. The Yagami's were not currently aware of L's true identity.

"No, he didn't tell us!" Sachiko exclaimed with the usual parental delight which colored her voice whenever she spoke of a topic that even brushed familiarly up against her son. "How exciting, Light!"

"Ah, yes. Thank you," Light said smoothly, somehow managing to smile at his mother and glare at his boyfriend at the same time. "It has been quite exciting."

Sachiko immediately began asking for details – which Light made up on the spot with the ease of born conman, the type who swindled unsuspecting widows out of millions of dollars with a single smile – and L decided it would be an appropriate time to stare like a frog at Light's father.

Soichiro didn't seem to appreciate the unnerving animal impression and increased the intensity of his frown.

L blinked back, wondering if he could develop the talent of licking his own eyeballs.

"What did you say you do for work, Ryuzaki?" Soichiro asked brusquely. His moustache gave a little quiver as he took a bite of fried mackerel, and L couldn't help but feel the vicious chomp had been a warning of a similar fate awaiting him. He glanced at the remaining fish with newfound empathy.

Disturbingly, its dead eyes stared back.

"I didn't say," L said in purposeful provocation, turning his eyes to stare in silent challenge at the older man's, because he was L and L was not intimidated by the likes of Yagami Soichiro.

Apparently, Yagami Soichiro wasn't intimidated by the likes of L, either.

"So you're living off of my son's income, then?" he concluded grimly, sounding like L had confessed he performed bloody rituals on helpless forest animals. "I thought as much."

"Actually," L rejoined matter-of-factly, "I have my own source of income, which is higher than Light-kun's. If anything, Light-kun is living off of my wealth." A perfectly true statement, if not more than a little provoking to either of the Yagami men. He could feel the heat of Light's glare at his side without looking, and he knew even if he did he would only find Light still chatting comfortably with his mother.

"But no job?" Soichiro continued in valiant hostility and defense of his son. "One of those trust-fund babies, no doubt," he said dismissingly. "A man should have a real job and take pleasure in earning the fruits of his toil."

L rather wanted to tell Soichiro just how 'real' Light-kun's job of getting fucked by L every night was, but he doubted anyone else at the table would appreciate the comment, not to mention the high likelihood of it resulting in a cessation of declared fucking.

So instead he said, "I have a job," sounding a little too much like a sulky child for his own liking, and pretended to take a bite of the noodly thing Light had high-handedly ordered for him – as if L was a little kid incapable of knowing his own mind – effectively vetoing anything of valid taste (and proper sugar content) he could have ordered.

It was just another tiny item on a growing list of things for which L needed revenge. At least it would have plenty of company.

While L had managed, before this horrible excuse for a lunch, to make his erection go down by means of hastily applied cold water from the shower, followed by a lot of undignified scrambling around for clothes as he haphazardly toweled his legs off, he was still beset by a sort of indistinct horniness and unsettled irritation at Light's underhanded schemes and blatant blackmail.

Suddenly, a discreet hand curled around L's ankle, taking advantage of his glum faux-perusal of his food, and it yanked abruptly downwards, causing L's ass to connect with the bench with a rather sudden bump and disrupting his precarious balance as one of his supports was rudely pulled out from under him.

"Oh, Ryuzaki! Are you alright?" Light turned to him with a fake sympathy only a parent wouldn't see through. "Maybe you should put your feet on the floor? I know your back's been hurting, but the chiropractor said not to sit like that," he lied with conscious-less ease. "It's only momentary relief – it just makes it worse in the long run." He smiled like the concerned boyfriend he wasn't and helpfully reached over, now in plain sight to all parents, to unfold L's other leg out from underneath him.

L allowed it. But he didn't like it.

And he wasn't going to let it go without retaliation – preferably of the sort that reestablished L's authority over Light (which he did have, thank you very much) and encompassed all the items currently on L's revenge list.

"Did you injure your back, Ryuzaki-san?" Sachiko asked, sincere concern in her eyes. She was a gentle, warm-hearted soul. Sometimes L wondered if his boyfriend had really come out of her. Surely Light's coloring alone made a DNA test justifiable.

"Minor herniated disc," Light answered for L, no doubt suspecting he'd deny the lie just to be disagreeable. "Should be cleared up within a few weeks, nothing to worry about. How's Sayu doing?"

"Just fine," Light's mother answered, distracted from further inquiry into L's health record. She began a long, involved history of her daughter's boring life, giving more detail than L ever cared to know while Light nodded and gave empty comments and emptier smiles.

L was feeling more disgruntled by the minute. Soichiro's unchanging glare and increasingly fierce eating wasn't helping.

His feet tapped unhappily on the floor, bouncing in sock-less shoes. Light had better make this worth his time.

Or L would just have to make it worth his time himself.

A great deal of time later, more time than L felt necessary for obligatory parental pacification, Light's mother and father were leaving.

Light stood, as did his parents. L remained seated, his legs by then having crept back to their accustomed accordion-fold beneath him, despite Light's under-the-table efforts to stop them.

"It was lovely to see you again, Light," Sachiko said, beginning to shrug on a coat in a preemptive strike against the day's bluster. Light, like the dutiful son he made sure to be, immediately took over and helped her into it. She beamed a smile over her shoulder at him.

Soichiro put his time to the best advantage by doing something he hadn't done all afternoon: glared at L. Spectacularly unsurprised, L took a sip of tea, the only cup still at the table.

"It was good to see you as well," Light was saying. "Have a safe trip back."

"Are you…staying here for a while?" Sachiko asked with a hesitant glance at where L was still stubbornly seated and stirring his tea with a delicately held spoon. Light glanced at him as well, with considerably less hesitation and quite a bit more irritation.

"Yes. Say hello to Sayu," he said with false cheer.

L ignored the remaining needlessly drawn-out farewells and angry glowers thrown his way (Soichiro) and promises of imminent visits (Sachiko) in favor of seeing how saturated with sugar his tea could become.

When the parents had been ushered off at last, Light sank back onto the bench next to him, a weary hand clutching his forehead.

"I can't believe you. You're impossible. Is it so much to ask you behave for one hour?"

"It would seem so," L returned, smacking his lips as the silver spoon was pulled from his mouth. "These constant meetings with your parents are not good for my mental health, and consequently decrease my thinking ability by twenty-five percent for at least three days afterwards as I recover."

"They aren't 'constant meetings'. It's just lunch, once every four months. Quite frankly, I'm sick of your bullshit. And what happened to your beloved 'principles as L'? You pretty much fucked that up the ass, didn't you? I almost wish you had stayed home. You were absolutely horrible."

Light wasn't looking at him, rubbing soothing circles into his temple and staring down at the table instead. L took another sip, a plan beginning to form in his mind.

"How very vulgar of you. And if you did not want me to accompany you, you should have considered that before you threatened me. It is my right, as L, to fuck things up the ass if I wish – and I hope you realize I am not solely referring to my principles."

"Oh go fuck yourself up the ass," Light suggested with vehement helpfulness, not bothering to explain exactly how L was expected to accomplish this feat. "Hurry up and finish that sludge."

L rolled his eyes over at him, spoon sticking out of his mouth as he took in his boyfriend's fatigued, exasperated form, and decided it was time to begin his plot.

He turned his eyes carefully down to his tea.

Slowly, like an inquisitive spider, his hand began a tripping journey across the small stretch of bench between his feet and Light's thigh. It paused before it reached the other man's leg, a moment of hesitation and consideration, before slowly, lightly, finger by finger, skipping up the curved slope to dance along the top of his quad, L's fingertips pressing shallow imprints into the relaxed muscle of his toned leg.

Light threw a sidelong, unamused glance out of the edges of his eyes that would have stopped a charging bull in its tracks.

"What do you think you're doing." It wasn't a question, but a low-spoken statement of warning and icy intimidation.

"Drinking my tea," L answered innocently, doing just that with his other hand. "Were you under the impression I was doing something else?"

"L, this isn't appropriate," Light said briskly, brushing L's hand away like spider it appeared to be. Unfortunately for him, it was back a half-breath later.

"On the contrary," L returned, "this is a very appropriate place to drink tea. Why would it have been served it to me, if not with the intention for me to drink it here?"

The hand, which had been softly stroking the center of the planed top of Light's leg, became a little more daring, skirting ever closer to the center seam of his trousers, fleeting taps that scurried away moments later only to sneak back once more, a little bolder than before. And beneath its teasing dance, Light's leg was beginning to tense.

"L. Stop this now," he ordered, his voice not raising a decibel but nonetheless leaving no doubt of the seriousness of this demand. Eyes met.

L sighed. "I suppose you think you'll be too…impatient," he said regretfully, and he watched as Light's coffee-cream eyes narrowed. "You cannot wait for me to finish my tea before we leave?" He took a guileless sip of the drink to emphasize his point, enjoying the flash of irritated eyes that raked over him.

"That won't work," Light warned. "Now stop it, I'm serious. I won't be dared into doing this."

"Are you sure?" L asked wryly.

"Yes," Light snapped, shoving L's hand away, only for it to dart right back to his leg. "I know you're mad about earlier before we left, but this is more than childish, not to mention incredibly inappropriate. You can't do something like this in public."

Oh good, Light understood his motives and intentions. That made things much more fun.

L leaned in, until he was just a breath away from Light's ear, and whispered, "I dare you."

Then he pulled away and waited as Light breathed sharply through his nose and his jaw set into a determined, hard line.

L knew Light could never resist a challenge. And when Light narrowed his gaze and looked away in silent acceptance, L knew he had won.

With suppressed glee, he swirled his tea around in its cup and pretended to be engrossed by the way it rolled around the edges and let his hidden fingers trailed a lazy path down to Light's knee, swirling an easy circle then making their meandering way back up to his hip. Straying for a moment, his pinky extended to stroke against a soft shirt, brushing it delicately on the tautened stomach beneath.

In a stubborn countermove, Light's breathing became forcibly steadier – even and in control.

"L," he said, even quieter and more forcefully than before, enunciating with deliberate clarity. "One chance to stop this. You won't be happy with the consequences if you try pushing this, I promise you." Most people would have probably frozen in fear at the dangerous tone which was taking over L's boyfriend's voice.

L wasn't most people.

Undaunted, he pulled all his fingertips together, the barest tips of his fingernails standing in a bunch on Light's thigh, then slowly and deliberately spread them out and downwards, his palm flattening, his fingers digging into the crease of Light's hips and the tips sweeping onto the line of Light's trouser zip.

Light's breath caught rather noticeably.

"L," he hissed quietly, reminiscent of a vicious snake – a black moccasin with fangs bared and venom deadly. "I'm going to enjoy strangling you in your sleep tonight. Stop right now before this gets out of hand." L could hear the helpless frustration beginning to creep into the fringes of Light's voice, the suppressed aggression – the desire to knock L's hand away but the refusal to give in and do so and lose.

It was a heady mixture to observe.

"You need not worry about that, Light-kun," L said calmly, his fingers drumming with gentle precision against the center of Light's crotch. "You will be very much in hand."

Light's glare was steely, full of promise of revenge. "For the record," he whispered, "this is completely over the line." Then he turned his obstinate eyes away again, his lip between his teeth and resistance in every line of his tense body.

In L's opinion, Light was overreacting. Their booth was in the back of the restaurant, far away from the kitchens and in an alcove mostly hidden from strangers' eyes. And even if someone were to walk by at the one angle capable of peeking into the alcove, there was only a seven percent chance they would notice anything – the table was tall with a cheerful, concealing tablecloth. It was just that annoying Japanese modesty Light insisted on clinging to.

"Are you afraid, Light-kun?" L asked, but what he was really saying was, Can you not handle it?

Light's leg stilled beneath L's touch, his eyes positively murderous.

"I'm not afraid," he snapped. The answer was loud and clear: I can handle it.

L grinned into his teacup. He could tell Light was fully aware this was a goading play against his pride, but despite this wasn't capable of backing down. Between them, a challenge was a challenge no matter what it contained, and both had too much pride to concede defeat.

Light was looking straight forward now, his body tensed and on edge but outwardly relaxed, his eyes roving disinterestedly along the wall. It was a formidable attempt to pretend L didn't exist – obviously Light was going for the tactic that often worked with little kids: not reacting to his games in the hope that he'd become bored and stop.

L, however, was much more persistent than most little kids. And quite a bit smarter.

With just as much disinterest as Light, he let another swish of sweetened liquid rush into his mouth while, seemingly detached from the rest of him, his audacious spider of a hand rubbed up and down Light's leg, up and down, dipping down into the inner thigh occasionally but mostly keeping to top as it swept back and forth. Light's trousers made a quiet shush beneath his hand as he slowly and with increasing pressure kneaded gentle fingers into Light's body, and beneath the supple cloth Light's muscles were rock hard and unyielding in tension.

On the table, Light's hand began tapping.

L's lips quirked in a smile. The first break in the defenses.

He began focusing almost exclusively on the softer tone of inner thigh, stroking incessantly, alternating between butterfly brushes and deeper, burrowing caresses. Light's face was bored but his hand was tapping in distraction, the barest beginnings of a tremor overtaking his leg.

L worked on unhurriedly, not pausing his hand as he took occasional nips of tea, now ignoring the center area of Light's legs altogether – sticking to the fringes with teasing touches that almost glanced against Light' most sensitive area but never quite did.

An undeniable tremble of Light's leg twitched beneath L's hand, and the only recognition given it was a determined frown that momentarily pulled at Light's eyes. L let his hand begin to slow, gradually, luring Light into a sense of security they both knew was false. Slower, slower, softer, softer, until the tips of his fingers were barely dancing along his leg, tiny points of miniscule pleasure.

Light's hand stopped tapping. His eyes were suspicious as he threw L a glance out of their corners, but L could see a flicker of hope, of maybe he's giving up.

L's hand left Light's leg completely, resting innocently inches away on the bench. His teacup rocked against his lips once more, his eyes anywhere but on Light.

He could feel Light's body relaxing next to him, his breath beginning to come in gentle, calming sweeps, about to carry him back down from the building tension, and right when sienna eyes fluttered momentarily shut L struck.

His hand, quick as a hummingbird, darted right between Light's legs and cupped, hard.

Light's eyes flashed open. A quick hum in the back of his throat was the only noise that sneaked past, his upper body curling forward just slightly before the movement was denied. His fingers began tapping on the table again, faster than before, lightly joined this time by the leg on the outside of L's reach, an attempt at distraction.

And L was pleased to find that Light wasn't quite as soft as he'd probably like to be.

There was a growing bulge beneath his hand, pressing up against him with an impatience its owner wouldn't betray, filling his hand with involuntary need. L rubbed it softly, fondly, while beside him Light let out a long, slow breath. He wanted to make a snide observation at this point, something which contained the words 'eager' and 'little' and touched on the topic of 'popping right up', but decided it would be incongruous. This was a time for silent touches and pretended indifference as Light slowly lost it by his side.

So he let his hand become even bolder, his palm kneading downward circles against the stiffening cock, enjoying the tiny catches in Light's breathing as he tried to keep up his outward façade of calm. Light's lips had parted slightly, a thin slit allowing for increasingly harsh breaths to pass through, a valiant but fruitless attempt to calm himself down. L could feel Light's legs trembling slightly around his hand, the seam of his trousers pushing harder into his palm with unfaltering insistence.

So L rubbed a bit harder then abruptly pulled his hand back once again, leaving only his fingertips to flit along the bulge, tracing frustratingly gently along the outline of Light's cock that was becoming visible through the rough cloth. Sharp, quiet breaths were escaping Light's lungs now, another fallen bulwark of defense.

Two ghost-pale fingers gingerly rooted into the folded zip of Light's trousers, pausing to slip the button undone then pincering the cool metal end of the zip. Slowly, so as not to make a sound, L dragged it steadily downwards, letting the teeth fall apart, releasing the stretched tension in the material and allowing Light's cock to press up happily.

Light didn't look quite as happy. His hand had slipped off the table to press in a fist against his far thigh, trembling with suppressed need, and his face was still set, hard as granite. Had anyone walked by, they would have merely thought Light was annoyed and perhaps mildly stressed, only L privy to the impressive control which was slowly being eroded with hidden, indecent actions beneath the table.

And L had not taken into consideration the effect all this would have on his own libido. A rather large oversight, which was quickly creating physical problems for him. Luckily, L always wore loose jeans, so his own awaking need could be ignored for the moment in favor of dragging Light unwillingly along towards completion.

He slipped his hand into Light's exposed underwear – black, as was typical – and finally let his hand connect with heated skin. Tenderly, he wrapped his hand around the cock and drew it out, revealing to the air the furious red of the tip and the smooth, now fully stiff shaft.

"Haahh..." Light breathed, his head tilting back just slightly, his eyes drifting down and to the side as pleasure tried to override his brain. And another breath, shakier than the last, as L's thumb curled up to rub down on the slitted tip of his head, rubbing with a gentle pad.

L began stroking at the shaft, his fingers moving in slow, graceful movements that were vaguely reminiscent of a jellyfish gliding through water – thin, tendril-like digits caressing and pulling, wrapping and trailing upwards.

"L…" Light moaned very, very quietly, so quietly L wasn't entirely sure it wasn't his imagination.

L's hand wrapped fully and firmly around the hard flesh, beginning a faster up-and-down pumping, Light's cock warm against the inside of his curled palm and fingers.

"Mmnnaahh…" There, that was a definite moan. More of a quiet exhale of air than a moan, but L was satisfied. He picked up his pace, stroking harder and faster as he rubbed Light off against the background noise of quiet chatter from unseen diners behind them.

Light was trembling more noticeably now, little tremors chasing through his legs and arms but most visible in his twitching fingers and hand, resting against his leg. His breath was tossed in and out in quick, harsh pants that he unfortunately managed to stifle, for the most part, his eyes fluttering shut involuntarily as L watched the pleasure inside him grow.

L took a sip of tea – a rather notable feat considering the rapid movement of his hidden hand.

Setting the cup down, he muttered to Light, "You are quite dirty, you know. Doing this public."

Light's eyes flew open, meeting L's cool pair with a blazing fury, and oh, L was going to have quite a problem of his own to take care of in a minute; those eyes were dangerous, beautiful, enrapturing, and in their burning amber depths he could see the memory of hundreds of passionate nights together, but most of all he could see the undeniable ardor of I'm going to destroy you.

And death threats apparently really turned L on. Or maybe it was just Light.

L didn't have much time to consider his imminent eradication, because at that moment Light's body was seizing up in almost-suppressed tremors, and his mouth was pressed in a tight, silent line, and his eyes were scrunching closed again – and that wasn't at all acceptable, so L grabbed his chin and forced his face towards him, willing the other's eyes open.

Ink black met fiery bronze once again. Light shook his head free from L's hand with a swift, irritated jerk but didn't break the eyelock as his gaze began to mist over in inward passion, and god, that was beautiful but L barely had time to enjoy it before he had to swipe a cloth napkin from the table to catch the first silent splutter of cum as it escaped from his boyfriend's unwilling cock.

And L was captivated by the quiet, trembling body beside him, but he watched with affected apathy as Light again closed his eyes and allowed orgasm to discreetly overtake him, brought by L's hand in a tucked-away booth at his parent's favorite restaurant, his jetting cock muffled by fine cloth.

L's pretence of indifference, however, was somewhat undermined by the interested fullness in the front of his jeans.

When the napkin was soiled and Light's cock drained and softening, L regretfully tucked Light back in and zipped him up. His hands wandered away, unsure what to do with themselves. For the moment, all Light did next to him was pull in slow, careful breaths of air as he no doubt drifted back down into reality, and L enjoyed the sight of his boyfriend undone.

Then he plucked up his spoon and dug around into the dregs of his tea with it, formulating plans to deal with the unfortunate physical consequences of his recent actions. He barely noticed Light straightening up next to him until the other man spoke, a single, snarled letter.


L was struck with the sudden, unreasonable urge to run far away, preferably to another time zone, but he turned to meet Light's eyes anyway with the courage expected of the greatest detective in the world.

"Yes, Light-kun?"

A clash of eyes, wide innocence against narrowed wrath. Light's eyes had the beginnings of concealed embarrassment barely creeping into the edges, but for the most part were full of icy fury. His glare said a thousand things, a thousand deadly daggers and a thousand guarantees of you are so fucked, L, but his voice was silent.

And when he finally spoke again, his tone low and lethal, all he said was, "Don't you dare leave that here," with a significant glance at the dirtied napkin pinched in L's grasp.

Then he pushed out of the booth and strode out of the restaurant without a glance back, leaving L to find his own way home and his own means of relief.

L watched him leave; then he looked at the napkin, then down at the eager bulge between his legs. He considered carefully.

"Is everything alright, um…sir?" Oh yes, now the waitress came back, now that he was alone and staring at his crotch, back to bother him and stare nervously at him like he was an escaped mental patient.

"Perfectly fine," he answered, lifting his head, glad he was sitting in his usual knees-to-his-chin crouch and wearing his usual baggy jeans. It would have been painfully unsurprising if he was arrested for sexual harassment or a similar offense. Light would not have stopped rubbing it in his face for weeks.

"You do realize you've already paid for your food?" The waitress persisted like an annoying terrier to a bone, despite the unnerving stare L was fixing her with.

"Yes, I do actually. I am just finishing my tea," he droned, with a glance at his obviously empty teacup.

"…Right. Um…I'm very sorry, but could you please leave now? We need to clear this table."

L was willing to bet a week's worth of cake this wouldn't have happened had Light still been by his side. Light probably would have had half the management in love with him and the other half questioning their sexuality, not being asked to leave. But talking to this college reject of a waitress was quickly killing any desire L felt, so he was consequently able to stand without any embarrassing problem or potential legal difficulties.

"Very well," he said, making full use of all his supposed creepiness to leer at the waitress, and, before he shuffled off, he dropped the dirtied napkin with careful deliberation on his plate. Then with a polite nod at the suspicious girl, he stuck his hands in his pockets and followed leisurely after his angry boyfriend gone before.

If he was going to hell anyway, he might as well do the thing properly and traumatize a few waitresses on the way.

Author's Note: And there it is. Just a hander in this chapter, but I hope you enjoyed it anyway. This chapter is more of an introduction chapter, with the real smut coming later (ha ha...coming later...I'm original).

This story is going to be a series of escalating smut (doesn't that just brighten your soul?), probably about five chapters long, depending. So it's sort of PWP. Uh, smut with smutty plot? No actual plot, but the smut kind of has a plot? I don't know. It's lotsa gay sex, guys. Don't expect anything else.

Thanks for reading! I'd love to hear what you think.