AN: This is for Jenna.
Lockstock frowned at the unfamiliar voice. "Who's calling?" he responded.
Sunny raised her eyebrows. "It's Sunny! Sunny Moon Struck..."
"Oh!" Lockstock straightened up and held the phone closer. "I'm sorry, I didn't recognize your voice."
"Should I be offended by that?"
"Of course not." He stood up and signaled to Barrel that he had to take the call. Barrel nodded. "I haven't talked to you in months, after all."
"I'm joking. Actually…" She stretched out on her bed, dragging her words out to sound sexier. "I was hoping I could maybe come and see you tonight?"
Lockstock's eyes widened slightly as he realized what she was suggesting. "Well, you see, Sunny…I have a friend over right now."
"He could join us if you'd like," she replied, smiling wickedly. "I know I'd like."
He had to laugh. "I'm sure you would."
"So what do you say? Are you in?"
"I think I have to decline your offer."
"Whyyy?" she whined, rolling over.
"I don't think that he would be as into that as you would."
"As we would," she corrected.
He just laughed. "Yes. I don't think he'd like that idea."
"Let me talk to him."
"I, uh…" Lockstock glanced over at Barrel, who was looking at him quizzically. "I…suppose you could…" He waved Barrel over and handed him the phone.
"Hey baby," Sunny answered, trying to sound sexy.
She giggled. "Your friend and I were wondering if maybe you wanted to join us tonight for…well, I'm sure you can guess."
Lockstock watched as Barrel's eyes widened. "Y-you mean like…"
"That's exactly what I mean."
Barrel looked up at Lockstock, who just shrugged. "Well…I don't know."
"Oh come ooooonn," Sunny whined. "It'll be fuuun."
"Well…I guess it couldn't exactly hurt."
Sunny grinned wickedly. "Excellent. See you tonight then."
Lockstock gave him a what-the-hell-are-you-thinking look as he took back his phone. Barrel just shrugged.
"She said she needed money," he lied.
"So just give her money!"
"Come on, let's humor the poor girl. She's practically living on the streets."
Lockstock muttered something not unlike "Aren't we all…" He sighed and crossed back to where they had been sitting.
"All right," he said finally. "We'll humor her."
"Sunny…" Lockstock muttered, breaking the long silence between the three of them.
Sunny grinned. "Yes, Officer Lockstock?"
"I'm going to kill you," he said simply.
Sunny cackled, pulling herself up to a sitting position and turning around to see both of them. Both looked breathless and sweaty—just the way she liked. She smirked and nodded triumphantly.
"Well," Barrel interjected.
"Well indeed," echoed Lockstock.
"Well, I should probably get going," Sunny said, standing up and reaching for her clothes.
"Wait," said Barrel. "Don't we owe you money?"
Sunny considered this for a moment, then shook her head. "No, I'm not gonna ask for anything. I had fun; that's pretty much all that matters."
Lockstock looked at Barrel incredulously. Barrel's face turned slightly red.
"Although," she added. "It may take some convincing to keep me from telling everyone that you two seemed to be more interested in each other than you were in me.
Now both of them were blushing. "I-" Barrel stammered.
Sunny giggled. "Joking." But she winked at him nonetheless.
Once she was fully dressed, Sunny turned back and kissed them both goodbye. "I promise I won't tell," she whispered in Barrel's ear. He stared after her as she left the room.
Lockstock just shook his head.
"Why do I listen to that woman?"
"So I was talking to Josephine the other day, and wouldn't you believe it! It turns out she…"
Sunny rolled her eyes as her sister Fanny babbled on about the latest "buzz" around town. Everyone knew that Fanny was the town gossip, which could explain why few people trusted her with anything. She rambled on and on while Sunny examined her withering fingernails, thoroughly disinterested in the private affairs of Josephine Strong.
"Fanny, do you want kids some day?" Sunny asked abruptly, interrupting Fanny mid-sentence.
Fanny sighed. "Do you even listen to me?"
Sunny ignored her. "Do you want kids some day?"
Fanny threw up her hands as if to say 'What the hell are you talking about?' "Uh, I don't know…maybe?"
Sunny nodded, staring off into space.
"Why would you ask that?"
"Well…" Sunny looked around to make sure that no one was there. She lowered her voice to a whisper. "I think I might be…you know."
Fanny's jaw dropped to the ground. "You're…what?"
"Please don't tell anyone," Sunny pleaded. She knew this was a foreign concept to fanny, but she really needed to tell someone, and Fanny was pretty much the only family she had at this point.
"Well, give me details!" Fanny perked up and moved closer to Sunny, putting her arm around her sister's shoulders. "Who's the daddy?"
She sighed, "I don't really know whose it is."
Fanny's jaw fell open wider. "Whoa…scandalous!"
Sunny rolled her eyes. "Fanny, this isn't funny. It's serious."
Fanny calmed down a little bit. "Okay. Do you know who it could have been?"
"I don't even know if I actually am, Fuzzy Face," she replied.
Fanny rolled her eyes at the use of her full name. "Well supposing you are, whose might it be?"
Sunny closed her eyes, trying to remember. "It's probably either Lockstock or Barrel…"
Fanny gasped. "What?"
Sunny stared at her. "What what?"
"You slept with Officer Barrel?"
"…yeah…" Sunny admitted. "Once. It was…well, it was a threesome."
"Oh, so like…anal?"
Sunny smacked her sister on the arm. "Sorry!" she squealed, jumping away. "Just curious."
"Actually, yes, it was. At…one point."
"So…you did both?" Fanny grinned.
"Yeah, we kind of…switched it up a little." Sunny smiled a little bit, but it faded quickly. "Look, you gotta promise you won't tell anyone about this. I mean swear on your grave. If this gets out…"
Fanny rolled her eyes. "Sunny Moon Struck, have I ever let you down before?" Sunny raised her eyebrows. "Okay, don't answer that. But this time, you have my word."
Sunny's face broke into a smile, and she embraced her sister. "Thanks, Fuzzy Face."
Fanny smiled back, hugging her sister tightly. "No problem honey. We'll get through this."
Sunny heaved an exasperated sigh, unconsciously resting her hand on her bulging stomach. "Yes, Fanny. I'm having twins."
"First of all, holy SHIT. Second of all, how the hell did you figure that out?"
Sunny sighed again, though she couldn't exactly blame Fanny for asking. Neither of them could afford to have indoor plumbing nowadays, let alone pay for a doctor's visit.
"Well for one thing, I'm bigger than I would be if I was having one baby. I can also feel them kicking and it seems like they're on opposite sides of me."
"Weird," remarked Fanny. "So whose are they then?"
"Fanny, I told you, I don't know. Probably Lockstock's. Or Barrel's."
"Or both," Fanny joked.
"Fanny! That's not even possible."
"Yes it is! I read about it in the news once."
Sunny rolled her eyes. "You're crazy."
"I'm not the one who's knocked up with two different guys' babies."
"Okay, Fanny, that's enough." Sunny ran a hand through her tangled hair. "This is serious."
"You keep saying that."
"Well it's true!" She sighed again. "I can't raise twins. I can barely afford to pay my bills."
"Just ask Lockstock for help."
Sunny just scoffed. "That'll happen. It's not like we were actually together. I just slept with him a few times is all."
"Well you played beard for Barrel," Fanny pointed out. "That's gotta be worth something."
"You heard me."
"Barrel's not gay, sweetie. He and Lockstock were just messing around. It was a threesome."
Sunny rolled her eyes. "Fanny, you need to chill with the rumors. You're starting to piss people off."
"Hey, I never told anyone about that."
"Well you've certainly implied that something happened with those two."
"Which was completely unrelated to your scenario."
Sunny just shook her head. "Goodnight, Fanny."
"Night, Sunny Moon. Good luck with the babies."
"Thanks honey." Sunny went to hang up the phone.
"Name one after me!" shouted Fanny.
Sunny smiled, shaking her head, and hung up.