A/N: Sad sad day for all LE and Huddy and House lovers. Finale = BAD. LE needs at least one episode of closure next season. I know she quit after they'd filmed but she MUST do one more. Ugh. Major finale spoilers ahead - You have been WARNED.
The Review Board sat across from the outraged House and Cuddy once again. Although this decision would affect the whole cast, TRB though it was more important to have their main character and the one immediately concerned for a private meeting.
Suit one stared at them. "Lisa," he said. "House is going to try and kill you."
House and Cuddy both stared, open mouthed. "What?" Cuddy breathed after a moment, eyes widening.
"He's going to drive his car into your house out of jealously," TRB elaborated.
Cuddy shook her head. "I don't get it," she said nervously. "He tries to kill me?"
"He sees you with another man, after you told him you weren't dating anyone. Fair to you, this was the first date, so you weren't lying. He thought you were," they explained. House felt the anger flare up over his face.
"But I love her," he countered. "I wouldn't try and kill her. Sure, hurt, cheat, lie, steal, whatever, but kill? No. Too drastic for me," House shook his head. "I'm not a murderer. And where the hell do you plan to go from there? You can't do a season with me in prison."
TRB shrugged. "You know we don't really think things through."
"I'm well aware," Cuddy replied, still dazed. "Why do we have to become this?" She asked. "Why... can't we just talk? Okay, fine, that's not House... Why can't we try to do something that is plausible? House... is crazy. But not that crazy."
"We don't care," TRB exploded. "We don't care about characters! We don't care about relationships! We don't care about continuity! We have no interest in anything to do with keeping this show great!"
"That much is obvious," House said steely.
Cuddy was sitting quietly. "I don't think I can do this," she said suddenly.
"What?" TRB and House asked simultaneously.
"You're going to try and kill me," she repeated. "And because I'm me, I'm going to press charges." She sniffed. "This isn't going to work. We're going to fight and ignore our issues time and time again, until it gets too much. Maybe..." She started, but broke off.
"What?" House asked, gently, twirling his cane in his hands.
"Maybe I should just leave," she finished.
There was a silence.
"No." House leapt up. "No. Don't do that to me - to the show. This whole thing will fall apart without you... PPTH will never last. Seriously... You..." He stared at her imploringly. "We need you."
She put her head in her hands. "I'm sorry," she said. "I'm not going to cling to a sinking ship."
She stood. "Review Board," she said formally. "This is me handing in my verbal resignation. Consider me done."
"Wait!" House jumped up to stand next to her. "Where are you going to go?"
She shrugged. "Who knows? Anywhere other than here. I... can't watch this happening. It's like watching a car accident."
"Lisa," TRB said gravelly. "Please rethink. House is right. This show needs you. You're an integral part of the cast, of the story... Of House's story."
"Is anyone integral?" She challenged. "You obviously think character integrity means nothing, why should the characters themselves be anymore solid?" She gave an incredulous chuckle and wiped a tear from her eye. "You think we'll all stay as you destroy this show?" She asked. "You think we'll all stand for this crap?"
There was another silence.
"Cuddy, I'm House. And I'm contracted for another season," he reminded. "I can't leave."
"I'm not asking you to," she replied. "I'm asking you to respect my decision. And, if you feel like I do, have the balls to quit and deal with the consequences."
"House," TRB stepped in. "This isn't about your balls. Whether you want to be here or not, you're stuck until filming wraps next year. Lisa..." The suits sighed. "It'll be difficult to do this without you. We don't want to. But, we're not going to stop you."
"No!" House exclaimed. He took her hands in his. "I'll miss you," he told her honestly.
A few tears slipped down her cheeks. "Oh, House," she wept, wrapping her arms around him. "I'll miss you too," she whispered in his ear. "I always wanted us to be together," she told him. "When you're done with this, come and find me. I'll be waiting." She pressed a kiss to his cheek.
She then picked up her purse and left, stopping by the door for a second. "It shouldn't have ended like this," she said sadly, and then the door slammed behind her.
The room was filled with tension, House's arm beginning to tremble as he held his cane. TRB watched expectantly, nervous. House rose his eyes to them. "Excuse me," he muttered hoarsely, leaving after her.
TRB barely had time to gather their wits and work out what the hell just happened when a monster truck came flying through the window, shattering the glass and slamming all the TRB members into the wall. "AAAAHHHH," they screamed, pinned.
"Apparently I'm this crazy!" House shouted from the driving seat. "Ha! See!" He laughed manically, throwing small bombs and hand grenades out of the monster truck window at the injured, scattering suits. Little explosions erupted all over the room, setting fire to the books and papers and creating chaos.
The suits wept and ran, screaming for people to help them and open the jammed door. House smirked manically as he recorded the carnage on his phone. Labelling the recording as The End of House MD, he then swiftly backed out of the broken window. Cuddy was watching helplessly.
He smiled at her as he got out. "Want to run away with me?" He asked her. "We'll ditch this show together, take Rachel and run off into the sunset."
Cuddy surveyed the damage for a second. This was crazy... but, then again, apparently this was House now. He was this crazy. "Okay," she nodded through the tears, smiling slightly. "Okay," she repeated, taking his hand. "Sounds like a plan."
"Just you and me," he kissed her.
"Me and you," she smiled, kissing him back. "And none of this bullshit."