Beware The Evil Eye
Wow... what am I doing here? Am I really here, or is this a very vivid dream. Am I experiencing psychosis already? Hah, it was only a matter of time I guess.
I looked up once in the silent room. Mom's just sitting there staring at the floor thinking about me and how I'm lying about everything... fucking bitch.
Dad, hmph, sitting next to me. I can hear him breathing. He's nervous. Why? He doesn't have to stay here. How long am I staying here?
Just then the door opened and a small woman walked in with a whole bunch of papers in her arms. She smiled. I couldn't really tell if it was real or not, but at the same time I really didn't care.
"Alright, Naruto, Iruka, one of our counselors, will be here in a minute to talk to you a little bit." I nodded. God, why am I here?
She sat down at the small table next to my mother. "Ok, Mrs. Uzumaki, this is just a little bit of information about our facility and rules and regulations. Stuff like that. These are just some papers that we need you to fill out before you leave here."
I don't need to be here. I'm not one of THOSE people. Those crazy people. The ones who talk to themselves, see things, all that shit. Crazy people can't control their thoughts. I can. I can filter my thoughts. Make everything look better. I'm not crazy, I've just been tired lately. A little sad now and then. Not crazy.
All four of us looked up at the door as it opened. A man who looked like he cries every time he's alone peered in. "Hello." He said calmly and sweetly. Hm, he's trained well. He looked right at me. "Would you like to come with me for a second. I just want to ask you some questions." He nodded reassuringly. Why was he asking? Did I really have a choice?
I pushed myself off of the hard, cheap love seat and ignored the parental stares. I followed him through the short hall way and to a big door way. He typed in a little code into the pad on the door. There was a very quiet buzz and he pushed it open.
My stomach clenched and I could feel my heart thumping. Pictures of my own beating heart entered my head. I closed my eyes and tried to shake the thought. It wouldn't go away. I stared at the back of the man and tried to ignore the sudden urge to just cut into my chest and take out the beating devil that penetrates my mind.
No. Just stop it. You're putting it in your own head. Just ignore it. Only crazy people can't ignore things in their head.
Thump thump, thump thump... I'm gonna puke. I can't be here. Too many people in here. They're all looking at me. They're gonna laugh at me. They're gonna push me down and laugh at me. No they wont. Just smile.
I smiled and looked away from Iruka's back. Oh... there are no people. What the hell was I freaking out about? I stopped smiling immediately as imagined how stupid I looked.
We came to another secret code door. I think those should be a fire hazard.
As the door opened, my breathing shook. I could hear the voices of people. We were getting closer. We turned a corner we entered a large room that looked like a large living room. I'm scared.
Iruka turned around and smiled at me. "We'll talk in your room, ok?" I nodded. I looked at the plate on the wall next to the door. 0023 – Precaution.
23? Two plus three... no eights. Good. Precaution? What does that mean?
He let me walk in first and turned the light on. The room was a decent size. A bed right in the middle of the room. Not good. I need to be in a corner when I sleep. "Go ahead and have a seat." He gestured to the bed.
I sat down and stared at the ground. My eyes were heavy. I don't want to be here.
I could here the voices of the others out in the 'living room'. They were questioning the nurses of the presence of a new kid. Me.
"Ok, Naruto. Can you tell me why you're here?"
I hate that. I so hate that. Every therapist I have ever seen asks that. It's the very first thing out of there mouths.
"They think I'm suicidal." Ok, that came out to fast. Thought filter is now on. I am protected.
Iruka nodded. "Alright. Can you tell me who 'they' is?"
"I don't know." That is the product of my thought filter malfunctioning. It's not noticeable, but I am have a fricken panic attack and it's either I spill my guts or say 'I don't know' to all this guy's questions.
"Well, I had a talk with your therapist before you arrived." Oh yay, what did that bitch say now? Is she still running with the whole schizophrenic thing? I only nodded and tried to keep my eyes from twitching.
"She told me you have a problem with cutting."
"No." I don't have a problem. Idiot.
"Can I see?" He asked, his eyes dug into me. He seemed like a trustworthy kind of guy. Do I really need a filter for him? He's not gonna tell anyone. If he does, I can deny it.
I rolled up the long sleeves of my shirt to reveal the deep open wounds surrounded by old thick pink scars from long ago. I could see him cringe slightly. He thinks it's disgusting and it makes him wonder how someone could do this to themselves, I'm sure.
I rolled them back down quickly when he nodded. "So, you don't think you're suicidal?" I shook my head 'no'. "Can you understand why people would assume so?" I nodded again. When is this little interview going to end? "She also explained to me that you were planning to kill yourself very soon."
God, why did I tell her that? It was just an idea, I wasn't really planning on doing it. "Why would you want to do that?" I sighed. I was way too tired to let the filter run. I'm already in a fricken mental hospital, how much worse can it get? "I don't feel like being alive anymore." I shrugged.
"Is there something that makes you not want to be alive any more? School, friends, your parents? Anything?" I tried really hard to think. Why? Why did I want to die? Pft, I've wanted to die since preschool, how am I supposed to know the exact reason? "Everything... I guess."
"Ok..." He nodded and looked past me. I'm not an easy patient, apparently. He doesn't know how to handle me. "Now, do you ever hear or see things that other people don't?"
Oh, here we go. "No." He pursed his lips in thought. He thinks I'm lying. I'm not, mister brain analyzer man! I know you think I'm crazy, but I am not!
"Your therapist said that before she advised you to come here, you had mentioned hearing voices of people from your school. Can you tell me about that?"
I took my eyes off him and my breathing hitched again. Why is she telling him this stuff? Who else knows? Are they telling my parents? I breath in deeply and slowly, trying to calm myself. I can't let him see me break. "No." I say suddenly. I'm not crazy.
I hear him sigh. "I know it can be a little difficult telling someone you don't know things that you want to keep secret. I want you to know that whatever you tell me will not be repeated outside this room."
Ha, that's what she said, yet here you stand with all me mind goop on your hands. You should leave mister man, I think I might kill you.
"What about when you were six? You were sent to therapy. Why was that?"
Ok, I can handle this. He wants to talk about the first me. That Naruto isn't this Naruto, so this Naruto can freely speak of little Naruto because little Naruto is dead and wont care. Yes, ok.
"I was mean to the kids."
"Why were you mean to the kids?"
"They were mean to me. I thought that's how it worked."
"How what worked?"
"Making friends. They were mean right from the beginning. I thought that's how kids acted. So I started being mean too, but they still didn't want to be my friend."
"How did that make you feel?"
"I got mad... and confused, and sad. I hated them so much. I hurt them."
"How did you hurt them?"
"I pushed them down, hit them, and bit them."
"And that's why you were put into therapy?"
"No. I... I was trying to... put myself to sleep."
"No. When I was younger, I didn't know what kill, dead, or die meant. I just thought you went to sleep and never woke up. That's all I wanted."
"What were you doing to try to put yourself to sleep."
"I would swallow things and try to choke on them."
"Yeah, food. Sometimes, I would try to swallow the play dough at school and the fake nails that my mom had in the bathroom. Pretty much anything I thought could get lodged in my throat."
"Why did you want to do this?"
"I didn't want to be around those kids anymore. Always laughing... and being mean."
"Was that the only reason?"
I looked away again. "I guess."
"Um... There was also something that concerned me. It said that when you were eight you were put back into therapy because of a suspected molestation."
I swear my heart stopped. It didn't happen. "Who said that?" I asked in a strained voice.
"It came with your file. It says that you only attended one session, then your mother decided to take you out. Why was that?"
"She... She didn't believe it." I saw him nod.
"So, was there sexual abuse in your childhood?" Why would someone ask such stupid questions? Why did it matter? It happened so long ago. No... No it didn't happen.
"I... I don't know." Damn filter.
"Would it be something you would feel comfortable talking about later in your stay?"
"I don't know."
We both turned when there was a loud knock on the door. The woman from before stepped in with that smile still on her face. She and Iruka exchanged some sort of coded nod that must have meant 'your job is done, you can leave now.' which he did.
She looked at me. "Ok, so this is your room. Which, I'm sure you figured out. She stepped over to the door, that I had just now noticed, and opened it. "This is your bathroom. You can take a shower whenever you want. Towels are out in the living room, just ask one of the nurses to open the lockers and you can grab a couple."
I nodded through her ramblings, trying to keep my eyes open. I'm so tired. "Did you eat? Everyone has already eaten dinner, but if you are hungry I can have some of the tacos sent up."
"No thanks. I'm not very hungry." She nodded. "C-can I go to sleep now? I'm really tired."
"You sure can sweetie, but we need to get your blood pressure real quick, then you can go to bed." I stood up and tried to smile as I followed her out the door.
People. There weren't a lot. Maybe five or six other patients in this part of the hospital. They were all looking at me. "Have a seat right here." She gestured to a red fold out chair. She then started to roll up my sleeves. I could hear some of the other patients snicker. Were they laughing at me?
"Ooh, he's got cuts."
One of them said. I dropped my head as she slipped the band around my arm and pressed the button on the machine. This is hell. I heard a beep and the tight pinching of the inflated band quickly went away. "Oh my..." She said. "A little high..."
I rolled my sleeve back down quickly and looked up at her. "Ok, you an go to sleep now." I nodded and quickly ran back to my room, closed the door and turned off the lights. I stood in the dark for a few seconds trying to bring my brain back to reality where everything was rainbows and sunshine... wait a second... Where's mom and dad? Did they leave? Hmph, thanks for saying goodbye.
I went back to the door and peeked through the small window in the door. I could see into the 'living room'. I counted the people... six. There were six other people in here. Four boys, one with dark brown hair in a ponytail, another who was wearing sunglasses, one with very pale skin who was pestering another boy with short light brown hair. Two girls. One with blonde hair and the other had pink hair. They sat separate from everyone else. I don't want to deal with them tomorrow.
I walk over to the bed and stare at the seemingly comfortable mattress. I wonder if I could move the bed to the corner... No, I don't want to risk getting in trouble the first night. I huffed and yanked the blanket and pillow off the mattress and walked over to the corner that blocked my view of the door. I laid down and felt safe with my stomach flat against the wall. I was asleep in seconds.
"Naruto?" I hear an unfamiliar voice and wince when the lights in my room are turned on without warning. I pull my blanket over my face and groan into the wall. "Why are you on the floor?"
"I don't know." I groan.
"We're going to need to get some blood samples from you real quick, so we need you to lay on the bed. I push myself off the floor and stalk over to the bed in the middle of the room. I flopped down on my back and held my arm over my eyes to protect them from the intruding light. I heard a few more people enter my room and rustle around.
I felt a strong hand hold my arm and wrap the band around it to make my blood stay. "Ok, here comes the pinch." The mystery man said and poked the large needle in to the bend of my arm. I felt the needle jerk around as he changed the vile.
When they were finished they all left the room and I waited for complete silence before I stood from my bed. I walked over to the window and squinted to see through the blinds that were closed between the thick plates of glass. Still dark out. What time is it?
I walked over to the door and stood far enough away from the window to be sure no one could see me if they were to walk by. I stood there for a moment before I stalked closer to the window and peered out at the clock hung on the wall above the television in the 'living room'. 4:22a.m.? Seriously? They disturbed me at four in the morning to shove needles in my arm.
I walked back to the corner where my pillow and blanket still lay. I fall onto the floor, and instantly fall back to sleep.
I jumped out of my slumber and sat up immediately wincing at the sunlight coming through the shielded window. "It's time to get up." Oh, how I dreaded the thought. Just imagining how I will have to eventually talk to the other people out their made my skin crawl and my throat close. God.
I stood up and stared around at the room again. I wasn't sure of what to do. If I go out there, where would I sit? Who would be the first to talk to me? Would they laugh at me? Would they wait for me to make the first move? Would I make someone uncomfortable? What the hell is going to happen?
"Come on, breakfast is coming soon." She smiled. I nodded and ran my fingers through the tangled mess of blonde. I made sure my sleeves were secure past my knuckles and proceeded to follow her out the door. I felt a sudden panic go through me when I saw the two girls sitting on one of the couches. They weren't looking at me or anything, but I didn't know if they were going to be mean later on.
I spotted a small table with a checker board painted on it with a bucket of board pieces in it. There were only two large chairs around it. I assumed no one would sit there, seeing as how last night the couches seemed to be the most comfortable. I walked over slowly, not wanting to draw attention to myself. I sat down quickly and steadied my breath, then once again made sure my sleeves were still hiding my shame.
I took the time to get a good look at the place I would be calling home for a while. I noticed the ceiling first. It was cut in sections to let in sunlight. There was a large flat screen television hung on the wall and surrounded by a glass case. Probably so no one flips out and tries to destroy the expensive piece of shit. There were three couches, one facing the TV directly and two others facing each other on either side of the first.
Then there was a separate away from everything else with a phone on a side table next to it. It was conveniently located two centimeters away from the round table where three different nurses sat. That way if anyone tried to plan an escape they could call in the doctors to authorize medication that will stun our bodies. Wouldn't that be a show.
Oh god, they looking at me. I tuned my head away and stared at the black and red checkered pattern. I peaked over through my bangs to see if they lost interest... nope. They're still looking and smiling. What are they talking about?
We all looked over when two boys came out of one of the rooms. The one with his hair up was holding his ears while the one with short brown hair followed behind. "Kiba, would you shut up! I don't want to hear anymore of your dumb stories." The other faltered for a moment before continuing. "They aren't stories, Shikamaru! It really happened. You were asleep and they came out of the walls and tried to hurt you. I saved you."
I swallowed hard as they got closer and closer to the checker table. The taller one, Shikamaru, sat down in the chair across from me. I lowered my head even more when I saw Kiba looking at me confused. This is his spot. I saw him shrug and he pulled a chair from the nurse's table over next to Shikamaru. "Then, after I saved you, they went back into the walls and said they'd be back tonight." Shikamaru rolled his eyes. "Can't wait."
I felt like getting up and running away when they both became quiet. They were looking at me, I was sure. What were they thinking? "Hey, can I see your cuts?" My head shot up to Kiba. He wore s toothy grin, which was soon gone after Shikamaru smacked his arm. "Are you stupid? Don't say stuff like that."
Shikamaru looked at me. "Just ignore him. He's a little whacked in the mornings." His somewhat uninterested look morphed into a nice smile. "I'm Shikamaru and this mutt is Kiba."
"Yeah, I'm Kiba! What's your name?" He shouted and held out his hand. I didn't want to seem rude, so I smiled and shook it. "Naruto."
"Why do you cut yourself?" He asked laying his head on the table and looking up at me. "Kiba! C'mon, man. Shut up."
"No!" He looked back at me and I was hoping Shikamaru would jump in again, but he didn't. I had to answer this guy, he seemed nice enough to not dig deeper. "I don't know." Damn it.
"Hmph," He sat up and crossed his arms. "That's what Sasuke always says about everything. Do you know Sasuke?" I only shook my head.
"That's probably a good thing." Shikamaru smirked. "The guy is a dick. He's been here for two weeks. Barely talkes to anyone."
"Yeah! He's mean!"
I chuckled at the loudness of this Kiba guy. I felt a bit more comfortable and my stomach loosened. "So," The calmer brunette yawned. "Do you know how long your staying here?"
"Breakfast!" Kiba yelled when he saw one of the nurses carrying a tray full of orange and apple juice boxes, mini boxes of cereal, and rice treats. Kiba came back to the table, his arms full of the offerings. He dumped his load onto the table in front of us and smile. I got enough for all of us."
"Is everyone out of their rooms?" One of the nurses at the table asked whoever was listening. "No! Sai and Sasuke aren't out here!" She nodded and stood up, heading for the room next to mine. She nocked on the door then opened it. "Guys, breakfast is out here. Come and get some."
I picked up one of the juices while I watched two boys exit the room, one was freakishly pale, and the other, who I could just tell was Sasuke, wore a stone glare. Shikamaru, Kiba, and I all watched as they picked through what was left on the tray. Then, Sasuke shot his glare towards me. I looked away quickly feeling that uneasy feeling come back into my stomach.
"Oooh, beware the evil eye." Kiba giggled. I smiled too, trying to forget about dark peircing eyes. I went to take a drink, but before I could, it was snatched from my hand. I looked up to see Sasuke glaring down at me. "Who the fuck are you?"
I opened my mouth but words didn't come out. He scares me. "Hn, freak." He mumbled and headed back for his room. "Hey!" Kiba stood up. "That's Naruto's juice! Give it back, Sasuke!"
"Shut the hell up, idiot." With that he disappeared back into his room, drinking my juice mockingly.
"Heh," I heard a voice. "He must like you." I turned around to see the pale kid. He smiled. "I'm Sai, and you're Naruto, right." I nodded. He smiled once more and followed Sasuke back to their room.
This was not going to be easy.