A/N: IT IS HERE. And about time , too, I'm a liar who lies, and a smiled procrastinator and I'll never again set dates for my updates as I clearly can't commit to them. This is closure to the beginning of their relationship that I felt the fic needed, hence the shortness. This part is complete; but I have already eight sequels planned out (you guys asked for sequels, you're gonna get sequels, and get sick of sequels and I'll be all *evil laugh* 'Have more sequels, here, here!'), and who knows how many more will crop up. Initially, it was 'Who Said Anything(…)' that was supposed to become a 'verse, and this was only writer's block therapy… well. It's the phone!verse, now.

- Shameless use of this half-assed epilogue to answer directly to some of my most relentless reviewers who fill my days with sunlight, double-rainbows, baby unicorns, Chris Colfer's eyes, Max Adler's smile and Darren Criss's hair:

Threeoctopusesandanotter: "FUCKING FINALLY!" Right on. The UST was giving me ulseras. "but now when they fight they can make up and have hot make out sessions" You don't know how happy that makes me! Because now Dave can just kiss Kurt when he starts over-analyzing stuff, and Kurt can kiss Dave when he starts being insecure about stuff, and when they're mad they can just kiss AND STUFF, so I'm pretty fucking thrilled about everything I'll be writing from now on.

Well, this isn't spectacular by any stretch of the imagination, but I'm definitely bringing my A-game on the next installment of the verse =D

dorydafish: YOU BEAUTIFUL PERSON YOU. Just so you know, I'm probably one of your creepiest stalkers on Tumblr; all that you wrote as a twist on 'First Time' (I keep re-reading the Dave-as-Blaine piece during the Lima Bean scene, it's magnificent and a carbon-print of exactly how I imagine it would have gone with Dave!), all that, I just… *bows to your genius* Enough of my stalkerish fanfgirling, now.

THANK YOU SO MUCH, THERE ARE NO WORDS, YOUR REVIEWS ARE… GOD, every writer should have one reviewer like you, because you GET IT, and react exactly like I want people to react and… again, speechlessness.

Me updating cannot make you as happy as your reviews make me, seriously. Have my camels, my best sheep, and my prized pig, they're yours, all yours, and you deserve them all and MORE.

The Raisin Girl : I LIVE for my readers' happiness! Kurt and Dave be damned, YOU MATTER! "Can I just say, if we were ever lucky enough to get Kurtofsky in canon, I would NEED it to be Kurt who initiated it." It would have to be him, I don't think Dave would have the guts to go for it again, not after NBK and all that he did to Kurt, I really don't. But at the same time, I need Kurt to know for sure that Dave wants him, that he is a 'first choice' even if Dave doesn't make a move.

awkward innuendo: "D'aw the thought of Dave calling Kurt "baby" and searching for Kurt's mouth just makes my heart gush, so freaking hot and intimate and adorable and raw and oh! oh! Incoherency has taken over now." God, you are gonna make me cry. I love/hate writing kisses, because I have this picture in my head, and the feelings, and I want to write it down but I can't, it always feels forced and fumbling, so this that you wrote was so exactly what I needed, it's crazy. "there is nothing really left too add except smut...which I am TOTALLY NOT against!" I certainly hope not, because I need to get them off. I'm pretty sure people can die from this sort of prolonged frustration. "Also that I still maintain that I love you. To quote Blaine "you...move me." :P" You… you…you… WORDS, WHEREFORE ART THOU, WORDS?

SingingWrenn : I heard 'Cut Me Up, Jenny' and WHOA. Thank you so, so, so much; I have this tendency to associate Kurtofsky to every single song I listen to, but 'that was beautiful' *insert Darren gif here, please*.

And thank you, AGAIN, for giving this a try! I've shipped so many people with Kurt before Dave, and I used to hate Kurtofsky, way, way back, after NBK, when I was terrified of it. But I've been on the pirate ship foes so long now that I hardly now what it is to want 'anything other than Kurtofsky' endgame. That being said, I ship Klaine friendship hard (as you can probably tell).

"I find keeping people in character while they're speaking a HELLISH ordeal." It is. I read the lines to myself, trying to get their tone right, and there's one point where I just have to give up, and it frustrates me to no end. So, and I keep repeating myself, THANK YOU, it means the world to me that you wrote what you wrote. I'm terrified of OOCness, and even though I'll always wonder what I could have done to turn 'right' into 'just right', the fact that people can actually hear the characters' voices through my writing is phenomenal.

And I absolutely adore dialogue only fics - but there's so few, and I don't get why, it feels wonderfully refreshing to write like this.

"I can't wait to see the conclusion of this, and I'll definitely be waiting eagerly for any future fics you choose to write, regardless of the pairing." This is the best thing you could say to any fanfiction author, I'm sure - redundant, yes, but THANK YOU. As far as conclusions go, this might be a bit of a letdown, but I wanted it to have an open ending and pave the way for all the follow-up.

Multi-shipping is the only way to live! While Kurtofsky is my OTP, I ship Kinn, Kum, Puckurt, and Klaine - the last only in fanfiction, though. WELCOME ABOARD!

Cornflakesareglutenfree : MY PIMP (see ^^^ for physical proof). I saw EVERYTHING and was over the moon with you, really. How shall I ever repay you? Will gratuitous Kurtofsk smut do? I honestly hope it does, because I'll have to sell my parents and my sister for virtual rum and cookies otherwise.

About the three dates… you'll hear (read) about them, but I didn't plan on writing them out. I think I will skip to the point AFTER the third date mark, if you get my meaning.

THE PIMPING OUT OF MY FIC, I STILL CAN'T… If smut doesn't suffice I will sell my family, I'll send you my firstborn, though I don't know what anyone would want with a firstborn, but they seem pretty valuable.

TO ALL THAT REVIEWED AND DIDN'T GET A REPLY: I just wish FF worked like LJ, because it feels awkward to reply to everybody here, and I feel creepy as hell PM'ing you all.

On to the epilogue!

"Why, hello David."

"Hi, Kurt."

"Sleep well?"

"Fuck you, Fancy."

"Mm-hmm, I see. One could say it wasn't that much better for me either."

"Shit. Come over?"

"Isn't it an awkward time for a visit? There's lunch and napping, after all."

"You broke into my house at two in the morning."

"I certainly did. Can you imagine if it hadn't been me, but someone with bad intentions?"

"Couldn't have had worse intentions than you, you goddamn tease. Fuck, I knew I'd forgotten something last night."

"More kissing?"

"The alarm. Perv."


"Y'know, I couldn't get more than a two hours sleep after that little stunt you pulled."

"What stunt?"

"You know what stunt."

"Oh. Frustrated, were you?"

"You keep this up and I'm coming over to your house, Hudson and your dad's rifle be damned."


"Jesus fucking Christ, Kurt –"

"You should really open your front door right about... now."


"If you want to, of course. I wouldn't like you to miss out on anything that might be sitting on your doorstep, that's all."

"You –"

"Come on, Dave, one of your neighbours just peeked out. And it's one from the creepy batch, too."

"Fuck –"

"Don't trip. Holy Gaga, who told him he could pull off a silk red kimono? It's short, Coco have mercy on my eyeballs, please, they're burning, Dave, help."

"God –"

"Oh, there you are. Hi, David."


"Aren't you going to let me in?"

"Yeah. Yeah, come here –"

"David –"

"Missed. You."

"We just saw – oh, do that again – each other... uhngh, missed you too."

"Fuck, so much –"

"Couldn't wait to –"

"You wanna – my room?"

"Your mom?"

"Sleepin'. Is this – Fancy?"

"It's fine, do it, do it, god, David, your hands –"

"So. Maybe that will get him to stop whining from now on."


"Oh dear."

"Hi, Kurt."

"Hello, Alexis. How are you?"

"I've been worse. And you?"

"Definitely been worse. David, stop that, you'll hurt yourself."

"Considering how thick-headed he is, I'm more worried about the wall."

"It is such a nice head, though."

"There really is no accounting for taste. Your face is totally gonna freeze that way, Day-Day."

"You. Out."

"My house."

"Your room."

"Dave, be nice."

"I'll show you nice."

"Not the TMI alert, ew, for the love of –"

"Hey, Alex, feel like being scarred for life?"

"Go-ing. Gone!"

"David, hones – mmngh."


"Yes. Wait, let me just – hmm."

"Fuck, Kurt, your mouth."

"Yours isn't so bad either."



"Just gonna –"

"Door stays open!"

"Pipe down, you little creep, mom's sleeping."

"I'll tell dad."

"I'll tell him I caught you smoking with that other chick."

"I wasn't!"

"Yeah? Watch me giving a fuck."

"Argh. Do yell for help, Kurt."

"I will, Alexis, thank you."

"Why can't you be my brother, really."

"Go- Fucking finally."

"You shouldn't be so – you know."

"They already like you better, anyway. What, did you roofie them or something?"

"Or something. I'm just that likable."


"Aww, don't worry. I still like you better."

"Yeah? So sweet."

"Me or my –"

"You're sweet. Your neck's tasty."


"What? What did I do?"

"Sensitive, I – I never knew – oh god..."

"Really? Here? Or maybe –"


"Hmm, where were -"


"Like it, don't you?"

"Shut up..."

"Y'know, you're kinda overdressed, Fancy."

"Yes? Well, I'll just – there."

"Is that – Fuck."

"You mentioned liking this shirt, once. In passing."


"I was wearing it last week under my coat, just so you know."

"You... you were?"

"But then you went and snubbed my painfully obvious attempts at seduction, so I decided you weren't worthy."

"God, Kurt, I said I was so–"

"You had better be."

"Shit, you look so fucking good in it."

"Finally, a compliment."

"Didn't know I was allowed."

"You – you're allowed."


"Yes. T-that, too."

"This, hum?"


"What about this?"

"You – David – you're allowed everything."