"You are going to start a harem.", Amy Farrah Fowler declared.
Sheldon looked up from his ssl session with the MIT quantum computer's interface and at the window proper. "Are you speaking intentively or predictively?", he inquired.
"Oh, quite intentively.", she answered.
"Then you are wrong not misguided.", he told her and continued on with his work.
"Not at all.", she countered. "I interested you in the social sciences before. Have you grown that bored of me?"
Sheldon frowned. "Don't be ridiculous. If I had grown bored of you, I would be using another 17 percent of my cognitive facalties attempting to chase down the quantum refraction of this voltage."
"Ah, there you are, are not and and."
Amy huffed. "Sheldon, I am quite serious."
He sighed heavily. The man folded his hands. "Very well. Make your case."
"We've received competing grants to investigate traditional marriage. The LGBT lobbyist firm is hoping to prove that there is no difference, neurologically, between the alternate sexual relationships. The Christian lobbyist group is hoping for a degenerating condition for their opponents. Instead, I will be evaluating how the brain's tendency to adapt to a mate changes with multiple partners.
"In order to do so, I will need a suitable test subject. The person will have to be intelligent enough to contemplate all the facets of the dynamic social network focused upon them as well as holding high enough levels of chemo-electrical activity to be monitored regularly. More importantly, the subject will have to be a 'mack daddy', as it were, to attract multiple partners simultaneously as well as convince them to remain in an unequal romantic arrangement."
Sheldon nodded. "Complimenting my intellect and bordering dangerously close on defrauding both representations of my fundamentalist childhood tormentors as well as people so consumed with touching that they pursue alternative forms of the act, which as you know makes me wholly uncomfortable. You are not resting on your laurels, are you? However, I have a number of objections."
"You always do.", Amy agreed.
The frown nearly got to his lips before her words. "I will not have to touch anyone."
She shrugged. "I don't see how touching anyone would be part of leading harem."
"Furthermore,", Sheldon continued. "I object to the idea that women that understand my value will be in an unequal relationship, provided there are a sufficient number of them."
Amy huffed. "I will be participating in the harem as full wife or 'bottom bitch'. I can only guarantee my brain to hold a concentrated enough synaptic network to be viewed in the clarity I need at current MRI resolutions. Also, due to the unlikely chance of your actual interest initially, I will have to orchestrate the harem myself. Therefore, without getting into the settled spat of whose intellectual work is superior, I intend that the other members will be of a caliber that will put our sum total above your contributions once added to my own."
Sheldon thought for a moment. "Conceded. Will you be recruiting or must I?
"I would be remiss in my duties as a bottom bitch if I did not.", Amy told him. "Besides, I have already committed your Friendship Informational Packet and Captain's Log to memory. I believe I will be capable of filling your stable to the brim with fine fillies."
"Are you going to continue with the vernacular of racketeering prostitution for the duration of this experiment.", Sheldon asked.
"Well, if you do not find the slang of the pimp game as titillating as I do, I will sign off and engage in it with someone who does. Await my instructions on how to integrate the harem with your schedule.", Amy told him.