Amy and Sheldon entered into his apartment building. Amy held out the sheets of his brain scans taken with him watching the video footage of each member of the now defunct harem doing nothing in particular and holding a memento. Sheldon walked a step behind her, using his height to gaze over her shoulder.
"Well, at least we have a physiological explanation for your asexuality.", Amy stated on the first flight of stairs.
Sheldon responded while walking ascending over the second story. "I had always assumed it was yet another timely evolutionary benefit from attaining Homo Novus."
Amy arched her eyebrow on the next flight of stairs. "How would it be evolutionarily beneficial to remove a drive for procreation?"
"They can't all be winners.", Sheldon assured. "But what do believe the cause is?"
Amy continued over floor three. "This may sound like a strange question. But have you been exposed to a directional sonic amplifier when you were a child? Considering the size of your skull, the baby pictures your mother left where I would find on her last visit and a logarithmic growth rate...80 KHz when you were 8, lower if you were older and vice versa."
Sheldon answered as they approached the fourth floor, where his apartment was. "I had built a sonic death ray to counter the growing bully population of East Texas. It didn't seem to work, but I wasn't chased by dogs again. Half dozen of one, six of the other I supposed."
Amy turned to Sheldon as he fished his key out of his pocket. "And what happens when a tone is generated with a wavelength that is the diameter of the vessel it is directed at while that vessel is filled with a gelatianous mass of fatty tissue?"
"That's a silly question.", Sheldon stated. "It would resonate the tissue at...oh, dear.
"My poor right ventral tegmental area."
Amy held out the brain scans for him to confirm. Then Penny came from her door, dressed in her work uniform.
"It's no longer a mystery why Sheldon can avert his eyes from your apparent visage of Ashtar.", Amy stated. She then held out the black and white sheets that looked more like x-ray negatives than printouts of Sheldon's brain scans. Nearly as if Penny wasn't trying to remember the words 'avert', 'visage' or 'ashtar'.
"Mmm-hmm.", Penny pretended to agree.
Sheldon rolled his eyes. "If you two hens are going to get to clucking, I'm going to acquire my post-hospital visit ice cream, thank you very much."
As Sheldon opened his door, Penny apologized. "I have to run to work, Amy."
"But you haven't even heard the abstract of the experiment you aided me with.", Amy assured.
Penny shrugged her agreement. "So what are the results?"
"Among all the participants, you and I are the only ones that Sheldon holds any actual affection for.", Amy told her.
"Really?", Penny asked. "Sheldon feels affection."
"Of course, I do.", Sheldon replied curtly. "I don't even see how the particular targets of that affection are surprising. After all, one of you is my friend and the other is my friend who is a girl."
And with that Sheldon entered his apartment.
"Hoo.", Amy uttered.
Penny glared at her with pursed lips. "I'm sorry, Amy. But I really have to go."
"I will see you out.", Amy told her. "After all, who but my best friend do I have to gossip about a potential crush' return of amorousity?"
"Aw, sweetie.", Penny began as they walked down the stairs. "There is nothing about Sheldon that says amorous or affectionate or even a word beginning with the letter 'a' other than 'asexual'."
"Au contraire.", Amy objected. "Notice he referred to my gender. It corroborates the fact that he doesn't have a 'spot' in my apartment despite visiting multiple times: he feels comfortable at all places within my living space. Let alone the fact that he doesn't shiver when I touch him like he does with everyone else."
"And that tells you there's hope of a romantic relationship?", Penny inquired.
"Well, it may take a nanotech reconstruction of his limbic system, but that's what? Seventeen, eighteen years out? Plus, it's my field of expertise. If I can find the right melothesmiatic tumor, I could cut that to twelve easily.", Amy assured. "Besides, you've given me the hope for involving another person in my sexuality one day."
Penny slid closer to the wall, away from Amy. "I have?", she questioned uneasily.
Amy nodded enthusiastically. "Of course! While Sheldon and I currently have a relationship exclusive to our mental interactions, my friendship with you (a community college drop out) shows that I can interact with others on a much baser level."
"Thaaaanks.", Penny said.
"And to think.", Amy continued. "My future orgasms aren't going to be directly linked to innovations in toothbrush technology."
Penny nodded...let's go with sympathetically. "Yeah, it wasn't like there's a huge market of lonely women clamoring for high tech...toothbrushes."
"Then again, with Sheldon's haptaphobia and the mechanical nature of the tool, I may get the best of both worlds.", Amy concluded.
By then the two had reached the lobby. They were just in time to see Ramona in a trench coat being led by Howard and Raj.
"Dr. Fowler?", Ramona asked in surprise. "These two stated that the e-mail that you sent notifying us of the end of the harem was incorrect, and that you were now testing out how costumes raised arousal. After confirming their identities against Dr. Cooper's Freindship Packet, I wore this and came right over.
The grad student unbuttoned her coat and revealed herself to the two women. While Amy's expression remained deadpan, Penny quickly averted her face to hide the quickly uttered, "Whoa-boy."
Ramona looked over Penny. "You went with a waitress uniform? I didn't think he was that chauvanistic."
Amy looked over Penny. "I don't know why you feel intimidated, bestie. That push-up corset still doesn't give her anything on you."
"That's all I can takes, I can't takes no more.", Penny said. She threw up her hands and left the building.
Amy turned her stone cold gaze on Howard and Raj. "Ramona, go home."
Ramona nodded and left. Howard and Raj glanced at each other.
Howard called out. "What's that, Bernadette? I need to leave right now with no discussion of why. Well, alright!"
He quickly skedaddled, leaving Raj alone with Amy.
"Do you have an explanation?", Amy questioned.
Raj brought out an emergency bottle of whiskey. Amy uncharacteristically snatched it out of his hand. Raj nervously pointed at the bottle, then his mouth. Amy did not change the look on her face. Raj shrugged in defeat.
"Didn't think so. Beat it.", Amy commanded.