DISCLAIMER - This is a work of fiction - it has come straight from my mind, it is not intended to be taken as truth in whole or in part. if you do not like sexual content, please do not read. Otherwise, I hope that you enjoy it and taken it as fiction, which it is created for.
I DO NOT CLAIM TO KNOW RANDY ORTON or any other famous wrestler who may turn up in this fic. All O/C's belong to themselves, save Roxi, Joanne and Sean - who are creations of mine. With that said, please let me know what you think of this
Written By; HarleyMac. Date Started; 24.05.2011.
Missouri, USA, June 2010;
Everything was falling to pieces around me – my life was over. I hadn't thought that it would come to this. I hadn't been prepared to hear it; I didn't know how to comprehend what he was telling me. I was hearing him talk – but it was like I was underwater and I couldn't make out a word of what he was saying.
My eyes scanned over him and it was like I didn't even recognize who he was – for 10 years we had been solid, we had been together and tighter than what anyone realized and now all of that had been washed away when he muttered those words. And I didn't know how to react, I didn't know what to say to him. I felt sick, I could feel the bile rising in my gut – seeking an exit and there was only one way it was going to get it. I jumped to my feet and raced into the kitchen, which was the closest destination. I just made it and no more – everything that was in my system spewed from my mouth and into the large Victorian style sink.
I had never thought that it was possible that I would hear those words from his mouth – not after how long he had pursued me for. It had been a year of him calling, sending gifts, and eventually showing up on my doorstep. I had finally agreed to go on a date with him and from then we had been joined at the hip. 6 months later we were married.
Everything that he wanted to do, I had supported him – I had worked 2 jobs while he had started out in his career and I did it because I loved him and I wanted to build our life together – his parent's had offered to help us out but we had both agreed that we wanted to be able to say that we had done it all on our own. His Dad, my Father in law, had pulled me aside on our wedding day and praised me because he had said that I was the best thing that had ever happened to his son. That had truly meant more to me than I could ever express, but now it seemed like it meant nothing. I mean how good could I be if he had done this to us?
With my head resting against the cool tile of sink, my thoughts turned to when we had met. I was 19 years old, and my best friend had moved to the big city Aberdeen from our much smaller, in comparison, town Elgin in the north east of Scotland. She had always wanted to work with children, from as long as I had known her – she had known what she wanted to do. So when she had been offered a personal nanny position; she had jumped at the chance and had upped her life and moved without even thinking about it. I had always admired her ability to just leap in with blind faith and it hadn't changed when she had accepted that job.
Joanne – she was like a sister to me and it was almost like we had complimented one another from the beginning of our friendship. I was the level headed one – always thinking things through and I would make her stop from jumping head first into things, and she was the free spirit – she had always been the one who got an idea and wouldn't think it through and she was the one who made me learn to live my life a little closer to the edge.
It had been about a year since she had moved – she had finally gotten herself settled in her new life and had met a guy called Sean. That was about the time that she invited me and my boyfriend at the time Steven through to spend the weekend with her in her new home.
Steven and I had driven through to the big city and we had all arranged to have a night out. We had been in the popular bar Charlie's when Steven had one of his infamous stroops about me allegedly flirting with, who would later become, my husband, at the bar when I had gone to get the next round of drinks. After he had excused us from Joanne and Sean, Steven had dragged me outside and down one of the alley's where he had continued to berate me until he had gotten so irrate that his fist connected with my jaw.
As I had fallen to my knees from the impact – he had kicked me in the ribs and began to grab my hair to haul me to my feet when Joanne had appeared, having thought that it was weird that Steven had pulled me away from the festivities; she had lunged herself onto his back but he had thrown her off like a bug and she slammed into the wall; knocking her head and ultimately knocking herself out. Then Steven turned back to me; gripping me by my throat he dragged me to my feet; I had watched in horror as his fist pulled back and my eyes instinctively closed and braced myself for the impact.
An impact that had never come and when I dared to open my eyes, I was being dropped from the height that Steven had elevated me from the ground and I noticed the guy from the bar, Randy Orton, who would later become the Legend Killer on the WWE wrestling roster, had his huge forearm wrapped around Steven's throat and was choking him out. As I remained stock still against the brick wall, I watched as Randy held Steven in the lock until my boyfriend had began to blank out and then Randy dropped him to the ground.
"Rox please just listen to me," Randy was saying here and now.
"I can't!" I shook my head shaking my head free of the images of that night so long ago. The night where this handsome stranger had saved me – and whom had become the love of my life. It was clear to me now that he wasn't the man that I thought he was.
I could feel him stride across the kitchen to where I was leant over the sink and he gently pulled me to my full height, grabbing a napkin from the holder that was near the sink and he tenderly wiped away the remainders of my sudden vomitting fit.
"Please Roxi, I love you,"
"How can you love me when you did that?"
"I don't even remember it!" he offered me, his voice sincere and when I looked at him, I knew that he was being honest, but that wasn't enough.
"You don't remember it?" I choked pushing him away, "you know it would have been so much easier to deal with if it was someone that you felt something for – because now, all I can think about is the fact that you have thrown away everything that we had for a whore who meant nothing to you,"
I breezed past him, grabbed my cigarette's from the counter and headed out into the back yard of our home. Pacing hard, I lit up and inhaled deeply on my smoke; instantly feeling somewhat calmer.
Last night was when he had come home, from the recent British leg of the tour and he had sat me down; and explained that he had made a mistake and that he wanted to come clean with what had happened so that we didn't have secrets from one another. I guess I had to give him that – it took a lot of courage to put your hands in the air and admit to something that could quite possibly end our marriage.
"You want to explain?" I charged as he stepped out onto the decking with me.
"Was she better than me?" I asked and I could see the confusion in his eyes – he didn't know if this was a trick or not, "tell me I want to know,"
"Don't do this Rox,"
"TELL ME!" I yelled at him as I watched him sit on the steps that led down into the main area of our property.
"I told you that I don't remember,"
"Then how do you know it happened?" I charged angrily.
"Because the following day, I had to go back to the bar because I had left my wallet and phone there, the barkeep asked me about the girl that I had left with who was hanging off my face," he explained, "and then when I got back to the hotel, I found a condom on the trash!"
"Well I suppose I can be thankful that you were sober enough to remember to use a fucking condom," I charged at him angrily.
My mind flashed back to the night that we had met – once he had dropped Steven to the ground he had cautiously approached me; his face full of concern and worry as I coughed trying to get my breath back to me. My first instinct was to race to my best friend's side who was finally coming around from being knocked out – instantly, she was hugging me and asking if I was ok.
Randy had been the one who had gone to get Sean and then insisted on accompanying us to the hospital. I had been comforted by his presence the entire night as he remained at my side and even talked to the police who had been called, which was manditory when an attack victim is brought in the ER in Scotland. When we had finally been permitted to leave, he had insisted on swapping numbers and he had called me the very next day just to ensure that I was doing ok. That was the man that I had fallen in love with. It had been so easy to fall for him – he was always calling to check on me, he sent me flowers and little gifts, and he had even talked about me in one of his interviews when he was interviewed as part of something to do with his Dad and his career in the WWE.
That had actually been how I had met him; he had been travelling with his Father in the WWE – learning all the ins and outs of the business.
"I am sorry Roxanne," he offered his eyes looking hopefully at me.
As I stood here and watched him; I could feel my insides twisting with the pain that I felt. I watched him light his own cigarette and I knew that there was no way that I could walk away from him. I loved him, I loved him much more than he was even aware of. Yes I was angry, yes I felt betrayed and let down; but he was my husband, when we had gotten married; I had taken it seriously – for me it was for life, through all the good times and bad times. Yes this was a bad time, but I knew that if I had space, I would be able to move forward – he didn't need to know that. My childish side wanted him to suffer – the way that he was making me suffer right now.
"I love you," he was now edging his way to me; I held my ground watching him.
"I know you do," I nodded, "I love you too,"
"We can make it through this right?"
"I honestly don't know!" I admitted as he cupped my face in his huge hand. I could feel the tears stinging in my eyes, as his forehead came to rest against mine.
"I'm sorry," he pleaded, "please don't leave!"
"I need space," I replied as the first wave of tears spilled on to my cheeks.
I knew why he had done it – I knew that things were difficult for him when it came to our personal life – we had waited until we were completely settled with one another to start trying for a baby and every month that those stupid tests were negative, it was like another blow to him. There of course, had never been a time when he hadn't supported me either, he knew that I was as devastated as he was when it came to not being able to get pregnant. We had a nice home, money in the bank, we were stable when it came to a family home, well we were until this had come out.
I can remember when it had happened – he had been in LA with the company, and I had been in Africa visiting one of the tiger conservations that had been set up – I am a photographer by trade, (I had been a live performer photographer when I first started) and I had thrown myself into the fight to save the tigers from extinction. I had called him to tell him that the test I had just taken was negative again, and he had been so insistant that we should see a specialist since it had been almost 3 years of solid trying – our sex life had become more of a routine than of something spontaneous. I had refused however, I was convinced that we needed to just keep trying and that it would happen soon for us. That had been when he had lost his temper with me and ended up yelling at me that it wasn't natural to try for this long without any sign of a pregnancy. I had roared that it was my body and we'd do it as I saw fit, looking back on it now, I knew that I was being stubborn, I had always hated being told what to do and when he had yelled at me, my stubborn streak had reared it's ugly head, we ended up yelling at one another about how selfish we were being and then hung up when I had told him to go chill out and call me when his temper had been curbed.
"For how long?"
"I don't know Randy," I shooked my head, "I'm going to go and head to Scotland,"
"No! Please don't..." he begged holding me tightly in his arms, "please just stay here, I'll go live with my parent's for a while, please just don't walk out that door because I am scared that you won't ever come back!"
"I can't stay here," I argued, "I need real space between us if I am ever going to get over this!"
"You'll come back?"
"I don't know!" I shook my head.
I wanted desperately to give him reassurance, but there was no way that I could answer his question. For all I knew, I might get home and I might decide that our marriage isn't worth saving after this kind of betrayal. When we had married, I hadn't thought that it would end like this – I had been so sure when I had married him, I had been so positive that it was for keeps and as much as I wanted to get past this, I really didn't know if I could get over it.
"I can't let you go,"
"You've got no choice," I pulled away from him, dumbed my dead cigarette into the sand box we had for the smokers that came to our home, "I just can't stay,"
Leaving him stood there on the decking, I moved through the house to the bedroom, and started to pull clothes from the walk in wardrobe. Finding my hot pink roller suitcase, I started just stuffing clothes inside, all the while waiting in a queue for the airline. I needed the space from him, I needed to be somewhere that he couldn't influence me and I knew that if I stayed here – then his family would get involved and then he would be forever in my face wanting to know if I had decided on what I wanted to do. I couldn't make an informed decision like that – it wasn't fair and the last thing I wanted was to give him another shot if it wasn't what I wanted, or if I hadn't managed to forgive him for what had happened.
I knew that my family and my friends would be glad to see me, even if it meant that I was going to be a miserable son of a bitch. I had every right to be. My husband had cheated on me – I defy anyone, who loves their partner, to not feel miserable about something like this.
One Month Later, Scotland;
I had opted to stay with Joanne and Sean in Aberdeen – it just worked out easier, she was always there for me, and right now I needed her more than I needed my Parent's. I knew that my Mother was stewing over the news, my Father was no better and I just didn't want them trying to influence my decision on what I was going to do.
Joanne had said her piece, and that was it – she had said she'd have words with Randy when she saw him, which was understandable I guessed. I would have reacted the same way if it had been Sean who had cheated on her. I knew that Jo always had my back, her opinions were aired and then she'd support whatever decision that I wanted to make.
As I lay on the bed in the spare room, my phone started to ring and when I looked at the screen, the smile spread over my features to see John staring at me. John Rzeznik was the lead singer of the band Goo Goo Dolls, and he was one of my best friends. I had met him almost 8 years ago now, when I had still been working concerts, and had been asigned to the tour the band were doing, one of the american magazines wanted a full middle page spread about the band whom had been on the go a lot longer than what they had been popular for.
"Hey," I replied.
"Ok so why did I have to learn from Randy what happened?" he demanded of me.
"You're on tour dude, you don't need to worry about me and my issues," I explained sitting up and cranking the window open so I could have a smoke.
Joanne wasn't a smoker anymore, and to be honest, she was probably the only ex-smoker who remembers what it's like to smoke, she didn't like smoking in the house but as long as I leant out the window then she was happy enough. A light breeze tore through the window and cooled me.
"Well I am actually in Aberdeen – I take it you are still staying with Jo-Jo?"
"Yeah, and you're here?"
"Mmhmmm, just arrived at the B&B about 5 minutes ago, so I am gonna drop my bags in my room, and make my way over to Jo's house to see you ok?"
"Anytime sweetheart," he drawled his usual american drawl. "I'll be there soon,"
I smoked my cigarette right down to the filter – it was time for me to get changed out of my pj's, with Joanne and Sean both out working, I had the house to myself, which meant that I could talk to John in peace. John was the one person in the world who could see both sides of every situation that you could probably think of.
I gave myself a quick shower, and had just dressed into a pair of sweats when the doorbell rang, I raced down the stairs and opened the door – instantly I was enveloped into the huge arms of my second best friend. I clung to him as tightly as humanly possible in the door way of the apartment that my best friend and her hubby lived in above a local fish and chip shop. Surprisingly, the apartment itself didn't actually stink of fish and chips. Mainly down to the fact that Jo was a clean freak – Sean was always complaining that he didn't get the chance to clean up after himself because Jo would follow him around and clean as he went. It was true – sometimes I wondered if she was slightly OCD but God forbid anyone actually bring that up.
"Come on lets get inside," John offered reaching behind him and closing the door.
It was nice for him out here because he was rarely recognized, which meant that he could go wherever he wanted without detail following him, but there was still the odd fan that could turn up anywhere at anytime, so he was clearly taking no chances right now.
"Coffee?" I asked when we reached the top of the stairs that led into the apartment.
"Does a bear shit in the woods?" he asked grinning at me.
"You don't need to be sarcastic," I laughed as I led him into the large kitchen where I turned on the kettle and opened the door that led out onto the rooftop that was where Joanne and Sean spent many a night in the nice weather. It was also a nice place to sit and think, and have a smoke without having to actually go down the stairs and outside into the car park.
"What the Hell happened?" John enquired.
"He slept with someone else John – is there really anymore to the story that you need to hear?"
"I know that he slept with someone else, he told me when I called your house," he replied, "but how did it happen? He wouldn't say, he just told me to call you and you'd tell me,"
I poured the coffee and we both headed outside to the roof access where we could sit at the provided picnic table and have a smoke.
My mind had been going over this time and time again – and the more that I tried to come to a decision on what I should do I would think about trusting him again and it scared me to the pit of my stomach. It hurt once, what if I went back to him and he did it again? Would I be able to get through it a second time? I truly didn't believe that I would get through it a second time – he had truly hurt me and, all I could think about was the fact that maybe it was some kind of omen – I couldn't give him a baby, so maybe we should go our separate ways. Then I would think of never seeing him again, never feeling the warmth and safety of being in his arms and I couldn't breathe – it made me feel sick to just think about not being with him again.
John listened as it all came tumbling out of my mouth, he'd nod his head every now and again to let me know that he was listening to me and understanding what I was saying – because I just knew that I was babbling; it was coming out a muffled noise and mess.
I was glad to have him here – it had been a while since the Goo's had played Aberdeen but I couldn't help but be thankful that it was now they were playing here. I needed all the support I could get because this decision was weighing even heavier on me than I had thought possible.
I had just finished explaining when the sound of the buzzer to the front door sounded out to where we were sat – I excused myself, and headed back inside, I raced down the stairs and pulled the door open, knowing that Joanne was waiting for a parcel to be delivered but my eyes met the stormy steely blue of my husband's and in that moment – it was like everything snapped into place – I just couldn't do it.
A/N - Ok so I am now on a Randy Orton kick - can you blame me? Remember if you want more, leave me a comment, review, favourite the story etc. Will only post more, if people are reading :D HarleyMac xoxox