OK... I'm not sure, I may ghave posted this before... But it's been sitting on my computer for a long while, and I haven't really done anything with it... I was tryig for creepy horror story, but it didn't really work out the way I'd hoped... I'm not even totally sure what all this means. It's sort of a take on Heero wants to be perfect,' but in a creepy way, I guess.... Any attempts to explain this vignette are muchly welcome! (Comments in general are greatly appreciated. Having one of those lovely lows... Need some encouragement. So... Pity me, John! Pity me!)
Warnings: Yaoi... Semi-explicit sex scenes, weirdness, some strong language...
I am almost complete. Through the murky, grey-blue water, I can see myself. My skin is smooth, not wrinkled, uniform in colour, and without a single mark. I feel heavier, and it is not just the water clinging to me that adds this weight. The fat on my body is gone now. I am all muscle, tendon, bone. Muscle weighs more than fat, so I am heavier.
I can feel the water pushing against my skin. The pressure is warm and inviting, if a little cloying. I lift my hand from the water, and the wavering reflection in the water mirrors my motion. The water, reflecting some muddy yellow colour from somewhere, drips slowly from my fingertips, each drop echoing into its mother sphere in perfect circles.
Perfect. The hot steam was still rising and rolling off the surfaces of the room.
Some weeks earlier:
Oh, my God, Heero! Duo arched, his head falling to one side. Oh... Uh... Duo had always been vocal.
Heero said nothing, his mouth otherwise occupied.
Duo's hands grabbed bedsheets, Heero, anything. Oh, Jesus! Uhn! Without any further warning, Duo orgasmed into his lover's throat.
Heero released Duo, and slid beside him, hand still busy upon any body part Duo would let him touch. The satiated brunet hummed deep in his throat and kissed his lover on the chest, on a small, dark brown freckle. Heero gasped, as Duo had been expecting, his head rolling back a little.
Duo smiled into his lover's skin. I love that freckle, Duo murmured. It always tells me right - where - to - kiss - you. His words were punctuated with feathered kisses on the the same spot, where the skin tone changed.
Heero did not gasp again as he did so, but Duo did not notice, for he was heading lower, kissing and mumuring, towards Heero's still-aching heat. He was, deep within himself, cold. Whatever had been heating him fled his body. His mind was no longer interested in what Duo was doing, although his flesh certainly was. Instead, his eyes were focused not on the top of Duo's bobbing head, but on a small, round mark of discoloured skin on his right pectoral.
A Tokyo apartment, AC 200:
Duo stood in the open doorway, a smile on his face. In one hand, he held a small paper bag, in the other, he was carrying a leather satchel. His Preventor's jacket was slung over his shoulder. Funny...
He closed the door behind himself and dropped his satchel and coat in the hall, removing his shoes. Then he began his search. His lover was not in the living room, nor was he in the kitchen. There were no telltale sounds of keys clacking coming from the bedroom, and, as he opened to door an peeking in, he found that Heero was, indeed, not in the bedroom, either. So, he headed to the last room in the house, wondering if, perhaps, Heero had gone out for some reason. His lover should have been home on post-travel leave, his last day off from work after returning from a mission.
The house was so quiet, that Duo began to think Heero was out of the house. But, as he approached the bathroom door, he heard the quiet sound of water dripping onto water. Their bathtub faucet leaked slightly. Then there were muffled foosteps and the sound of a towel sliding from the metal towel rung.
Duo opened the door to a burst of steam. He stood for a moment in the bathroom doorway, blinded. Then Heero's dark form became apparent in the whiteness, and he found his bearings once more. His towel-clad lover stepped forward.
Heero, man, I brought you some -
He stopped when Heero walked right past him and exited the bathroom. Duo blinked in shock. It had been as though Heero had not even seen him.
Duo did not make any noise as they made love that night. Heero took him with a calculated skill Duo thought Heero had grown out of after the war. There was no love in his movements, only a clear exacting of motions in order to fulfill a goal. There was no doubt that they were both close to that goal, but Duo felt something uneasy chafing at the corners of his mind. Something was wrong.
Preventors satellite office, Tokyo:
Over the next few days, it only seemed to get worse. Heero was becoming more and more distant and left less and less human. Duo had almost forgotten what Heero's eyes looked like with a light in them. He shuddered.
Maxwell, what's going on?
Duo looked up to see Wufei leaning in his doorway. You mean, you noticed? Duo felt a flicker of hope. If someone else had noticed the changes in Heero... Maybe I'm not going crazy...
Wufei scowled at him across the room. Of course I noticed. He walked over to Duo's desk, and set his coffee mug on the dark wood. You've been as pale as a sheet all week long.
The light dropped out of Duo's violet eyes. ... But... Heero...
What about Yuy? Wufei didn't seem terribly interested.
Does he look okay to you?
He looked fine to me, Maxwell. But you spend more time with him, shouldn't you be in a better position to judge?
I... I don't know anymore... Duo lowered his eyes to his desk to avoid Wufei's sharp look, but still he felt it, bearing into him. I don't even know who Heero Yuy is...
Stop ignoring the question. What's going on with you? You look like you've seen a ghost.
Duo looked up, and Wufei wondered what he'd said to make those eyes so large and round. But Duo didn't tell him, he just shook his head, and said, I'm fine.
A Lonely Tokyo Apartment:
You look like you've seen a ghost...
Duo rolled over, onto his back, lonely but not alone. He could barely hear his lover breathing beside him. He wondered absently, allowing himself to sidetrack for a moment, what men like Heero dreamed about. Once he'd though he knew. Heero had often dreamed of him. But, now, Heero did not seem to dream of anything, enjoy anything, or even truly see anything. He took things in but did not appreciate them any longer.
I've seen a ghost. I am lying next to a ghost... I thought this part of you was dead, Heero... I've prayed every moment since the end of the war that you would never be like this again. For a while you weren't. But now, it seems, we're right back to where we started.