The Revenge of Jusenkyo

~Noy Telinú~

Warning: this is the end. No, not like that! Jeeze! There is no more story beyond this. Well, there is, but… it's a sequel… sort of… I am the TEXT!

Finally!: Hee he he he he! *self destructs* Wharpt got it right in a secret code way while Za Ryoushi just blurted it out. This makes the most sense for Akane since Noy is WMG-ing that Ranma's female form stops aging around 19 since it's a spring a drowned GIRL, not WOMAN or FEMALE HUMAN. So… it's perfect! ^_^

Caution: Richard Ryley, Noy has told me that Akane is about 50-50 in chances that she knows subconsciously. What makes it not guaranteed is that a super tough piglet is in the realm of possibility in Akane's beliefs. That and I think I remember that she thought it was Ryoga's pet. Besides, it's akin to Kodachi's situation. Did anyone actually tell either of them about Jusenkyo's curses on whom they have blinds spots to? It's always iffy with them. Besides, Akane might block it subconsciously because she can't believe Ryoga would do that. Kinda like Clark Kent or other superheroes. Lastly, it's for laughs. Remember that now.

Thanks: Kris Leena and tuatara have been helping out the whole time. Ever since Noy told Kris that the characters would get these curses when cursed, they have been there, making my job easier. Thank you for everything… and stuff.

Merry Christmas: this is the internet's Christmas present from Noy Telinú. Take that political correctness!

You have been warned…


Epilogue: Everyone's cursed, Dave.

And so, like every day before it, Ryoga Hibiki got lost. This time it was with his girlfriend carried on top of his head while a giant pig followed them. Life had never been more weird.

Life changed for all that inhabited the Furinkan area. Things would never be the same. The Jusenkyo water was getting its real revenge, the destruction of the status quo.

Oh, there were still fights and teasing and smacking each other for no reason, but, it wasn't the same. Not the same at all for one pigtailed girl.

For now, her cursed body was no longer a freak; in fact, it was the opposite. In the wake of this episode, Ranma has come to realize finally that there were a whole lot worse things than turning into a girl. It probably helped that everyone important was now cursed…

However, that is another story, one that has yet to be seen. For before that tale is told, this one needs to be finished.

You see, if there is one thing that you should know about those who live or visit the northern ward of Tokyo… it is that they are determined….


It was a dark and clear night; rain was nowhere to be seen. The mansion castle of the great Kuno clan thundered in the blue.

Approaching it was water, a certain water. A watery water that waters like… water… Jusenkyo… and it… is… wet.

The tiny puddle of water rolled awkwardly towards the home of the Kunos. Surviving was hard to do sometimes.

Nevertheless, it was here, here to finish the job no matter the consequences.

OK, so it was only big enough for one, but… close enough.

'Thank you, whoever gave piglets small bladders!' Jusenkyo thought as it neared its target. 'Still… cursing Akari will always be one of the worst mistakes I've ever made.'

The water seeped over the wall and searched for its prey.


Meanwhile…the potential victim the first was seething in rage in his private chambers.

"How dare he?" the Blue Thunder roared. "The foul sorcerer Ranma Saotome has gone too far! Using his evil ways, he blasted the tigress Akane in a furious rage! To think, that I, the great Blue Thunder of Furinkan High would ever be foolish enough to believe that the dear maiden Akane Tendo would willingly run away from my prowess to only be replaced by a common primate! And the gall to call it Akane Tendo! It even fooled her own sister! Nay, I, Tatewaki Kuno will not be fooled by such outlandish lies! The sorcerer's power grows; I must save Akane and the glorious pigtailed girl at once!"

With that, he raised his bokken up in the air… on his bed, where the rest of his body was in a giant cast.

"Sasuke! Assist your master at once!" the delusional Kuno demanded. (Wait… that's redundant!)

In the next room over, a ninja sighed in dismay.


The magical water of Jusenkyo finally entered the home.

'Now… since I can only choose one… which should it be? He bugs both Ranma and Akane and really needs to stop being so blind. On the other hand, she would most likely learn something from being cursed. Especially since she is more of a threat,' the Jusenkyo water thought as it sloshed on the floor. 'It's a shame I'm too small and only have one curse left…I'll let fate decide.'

With that, the water headed off in a random direction, knowing that a Kuno would be cursed tonight.


In another room, one Kodachi laughed evilly. After all, while making powders and drugs to use for ensnaring someone who didn't want to be ensnared, it's hard not to laugh evilly.

Of course, her evil laugh was that of a noblewoman and therefore downright creepy as well.

"Oh ho oh hohoho!" she laughed. "Yes, soon Ranma darling will no longer be able to resist me!"

She pulled the lever, causing an explosion of light and sound that would have impressed any mere commoner.

The sickly green mixture bubbled and smoked, its glow the only light in the blackness of the room.

"Yes, soon it will be complete and Ranma darling will be mine!" She laughed again. "Now, where can I find a snake?"

The potential victim the second laughed her way to the door, jumping all the while.


Sasuke shivered again as he heard Kodachi's laugh.

'It's that laugh again…' he thought darkly. 'Mistress Kodachi is making that goo again.'

Shaking his head to clear his thoughts, the little ninja servant almost missed seeing water slither along the floorboards.

The poor guy jumped back in surprise.

"No! She did it again!" he screamed and ran off to hide. Preferably far away. Like Italy… Italy was nice this time of year.


The waters of Jusenkyo finally found a Kuno to curse.

There, unawares and not paying attention was the prey. A Kuno to curse.

'Too bad I had to decide amongst siblings. Where is that pineapple prinapal when you need him?' The water would have shrugged if it could as it wrapped around the Kuno's legs, causing a scream to be heard before slipping into something much, much worse…

"SSssssSsssS!" the black mamba snake hissed as the last of the Jusenkyo water was no more.


The Kuno… oh, the heck with it… Kodachi hissed as she looked around in surprise and… maybe a little bit of fear… a little bit, not a lot, for the Kuno family fears nothing… except turning into snakes.

'What madness is this?' the snake that was Kodachi thought as she began slithering on the ground towards the door.

'I! I'm… I'm a snake! Who would dare do this to a Kuno? Ah! The pigtailed girl! Her wickedness knows no bounds! Turning me into a snake so she can have my Ranma darling to herself! Sasuke! Fetch transportation!' Kodachi held her head up high.

But all that came put was a hiss.

'Of course! She turned me into a snake! Well, no matter, I shall get her anyway; for she has stupidly given me the last ingredient to gain my Ranma darling!' Kodachi tried to laugh.

"SS SS SSS SS S!" it comes out.

'Right…' she thought quickly. 'Now, what sort of snake am I? Hmmm…'

She curled to get a better look of herself.

'Let's see… that there, coloring like that… Oh ho ho hoho! A black mamba! Excellent! This will make for the best concoction.'

She slithered up to her green glowing doom goo and bit into the cup next to it, designed to milk snakes for venom.

After a few minutes, she knocked the venom into the goo, eagerly waiting for what would happen next…

*BOOM!* The place exploded violently, sending a charred snake flying up, up and away.

'Back to the drawing board. Apparently, black mamba venom is too strong for the experiment. Curse you, pigtailed girl!' Kodachi cursed to herself as she flew across the sky.


In the sky, a certain dragon was going over her thoughts.

'Perhaps Kasumi is right… but, is the physical well-being of my family more important than tradition and honor?' Nodoka thought as she flew. 'Due to that water, I myself am not "traditional" anymore. Is it a sign to change my ways? Are these curses designed to help us become better people? Is that why my son is cursed to be a girl? Because I agreed to my husband's demand?'

She continued to fly, not caring for the explosion she heard below.

'Is that why I'm a western dragon? Am I supposed to take this as a sign to change? Wait… didn't Akane say it was to get revenge on those who hurt my child? Then…is it that I must change and accept who he is? But I do accept him. What did I do? All I asked is for him to-' Nodoka's eyes widened.

'To be manly… that's what this is about, isn't it? Then, am I do consider the contract fulfilled? Is that it? But he isn't manly until he marries a fine woman, a woman who is womanly enough to be a woman and not a girl anymore. Am I wrong? Do I need to change the meaning of 'manly'? Is that it? Oh please, if it is true, give me a sign!' Nodoka pleaded.

At that moment, Kodachi the snake flew by and hit Nodoka the western dragon in the face.

*Blink, blink* the dragon blinked as Kodachi stared her in the eyes.

The Kuno snake stared in awe. 'A dragon, a magnificent beast! So pretty…'

'Is this the sign? A snake on my face? Yes, perhaps this is… I will do as you wish, ancestors. Seppuku is not the way today…' Nodoka smiled, a tear forming in her eye.

'NO! The dragon is hurt! What have you done now, pigtailed girl?' Kodachi cried out mentally.


The two reptiles landed down on the Tendo lawn, Nodoka not even disturbing the trees.

Kasumi was there, a kettle in her hands, as she smiled like the space angel she sometimes was.

"Here, Auntie. Everyone is already asleep," Kasumi smiled.

She poured the water over the dragon, accidently getting some on Kodachi as the water splashed about.

Of course, this led to one shell-shocked and human Kodachi lying on top of a nude Nodoka, the two females sprawled on the ground.

"Oh my!" 'oh my'ed Kasumi. "Here, let me get you some clothes."

"What? I… I am myself again? And… *gasp* Mother! I humbly apologize for being on your face." Kodachi got off and bowed humbly.

Nodoka kneeled, regaining her bearings to see Kodachi bowing humbly.

"Kodachi? You were the snake?" Nodioka asked, her voice unwavering. "And please, I said it before, I am not your mother."

"Of course you aren't… yet. But I must accommodate myself to addressing my soon-to-be mother-in-law as 'Mother' in order to nurture our ever-growing relationship. Besides, my mother no longer exists," Kodachi pleaded with Nodoka.

"I understand, but I cannot let you be calling me that, not until you are legitimate…" Nodoka explained. "That also means getting Ranma to accept you and for you to accept him, not trying to kill him on occasion."

"That's preposterous! I would never murder my Ranma darling, your son. I only attempt to immobilize him so that he may accept my affections all the better," Kodachi countered.

Nodoka shook her head. "While I see no problem in that, aside from the fact that being immobile is unmanly, harboring murderous intent for his cursed form is not healthy for a relationship."

"Cursed? That pigtailed witch cursed my beloved? How dare she!" Kodachi looked murderous.

"Pigtailed witch?" Nodoka asked, confused.

"Yes, a girl in a pigtail… steals the clothes of my destined, hair a sharp red… much like yours, by the way…" Kodachi tilted her head. 'Is that wicked girl related to Mother?'

"Oh… you don't know… Kodachi, come in. We have much to discuss…" Nodoka led the Kuno girl inside.


"No… it's not true… THAT'S IMPOSSIBLE!" Kodachi shivered, shaking her head in disbelief.

"Kodachi, you know it is true…" Nodoka tried to comfort her.

"NOOO! Ah, no…" Kodachi sobbed violently and incomprehensibly.

*Stomp stomp stompity stomp* came the noise from the stairs.

"What's all the racket! I'm trying to sleep!" Akane yelled, irritably.

"Akane, dear, I was just explaining Ranma's curse to Kodachi." Nodoka smiled.

"Huh?" Akane rubbed her eyes and was now able to see Kodachi and Nodoka naked at the table with kettles and buckets around.

Kodachi sobbed more and fell over onto the ground with a thud.

"Oh… wait, it actually worked?" Akane raised her eyebrows in shock.

Nodoka nodded. "Her own curse allowed for a more open mind when dealing with things."

"Oh…" Akane looked down. "Still… why are you NAKED?"

Nodoka blinked. "It saves time and clothing to activate the curse while nude Akane, you should know that."

"… Whatever, I'm going to bed…" Akane retreated to her room.

Nodoka shook her head. "These last thirty-six hours haven't been good to us."

Kodachi sobbed more.

"There, there… it will get better…" Nodoka tried to calm the situation.

"No it wo-o-on't!" Kodachi sobbed. "He hates me because I tried to kill him and accused him of stealing himse-e-elf!"

"Shh… relax, my son doesn't hate…" Nodoka rubbed Kodachi's shoulder.

"But he fears me… he fears me and runs away because I never showed him love for his other self… I'm such a bad person!" Kodachi cried more.

Nodoka brought her onto her lap. "Relax…"

"All this time I could have had a cute redhead AND a stud… Why was I so blind!" Kodachi sobbed. "Ranma… is a bisexual's dream come true! And I threw it away! I'm so ashamed!"

"You are willing to love Ranma's female body?" Nodoka asked in surprise.

Kodachi nodded. "I only tried to kill her because I thought she was in the way to my happiness. But now… she is my happiness… why should I not enjoy her female flesh?"

Nodoka smiled. "I am glad. My son would do well if he chose you."

Kodachi stammered. "Re-rea-eally?"

"Yes. Tell you what, you apologize to my son, make up for what you did and I'll consider your claim…" Nodoka didn't finish her sentence as Kodachi glomped her.

"Thank you! Thankyousomuch!" Kodachi hugged. "I will make it up to my Ranma darling! I will! Where is Nabiki Tendo? I have a desire to purchase posters of my beloved."

"She's sleeping. Do it tomorrow; we all need our rest," Nodoka ordered.

"Yes… as you command… Auntie." Kodachi then left, laughing as usual, but those who heard noticed it was a bit more merry that night.


Jusenkyo, done with its mission, rested again, drawing those who are called towards its springs.

Getting up and cursing those people was fun, to say the least. The chaos would grow more each day.

That is why you don't mess with Jusenkyo or its children. For it will have its revenge.


Author's notes: There! Finished! Now you can continue this as a starting point for YOUR fic, just remember to say that it's a continuation of this fic. Confusing others will get you no where. There will be a sequel by Noy… eventually, and another in a different direction… and so on, like a tree. Noy Telinú thanks you for reading this story. I hope you enjoyed it. I know I did. Thank you Rumiko for your manga Ranma ½, for none of this would happen without you. Read it people!

For Noy Telinú, I am the TEXT!