(Disclaimer: I do not claim to own Hetalia: Axis Powers in any way.)

"West!" the Prussian called to the younger nation. "There's something very important I need to talk to you about!" By the Prussian's expression the conversation was not going to be very important at all.

"Yes, bruder?"

"When you're big and strong and almost as awesome as the awesome me, you'll see another country," Prussia explained, "and instantly you'll want to strap them down and invade their vital regions."

"Bruder!" Germany exclaimed.

"What?"

"I don't need this talk."

"Yes, you-" a maniacal expression came to the albino's face. "You've done it before! Of course! The little Italian! I've never been into Italians myself but-"

"Bruder!"


"Lovi?"

"What?"

Spain smiled. The little Italian was in a good mood tonight. He was absently flipping through the television channels, grumbling about how they were all in Spanish.

"I was talking to France earlier-"

"Don't even start. Anything that you heard from France does not need to be repeated near me."

"Lovi!" Spain pouted. He flopped down on the couch next to the oldest of the two Italian brothers. "He told me we should have the talk soon."

"You tomato-bastard!"

"Sometimes when one nation falls in love with another - like I love you," the Spanish man purred lovingly, ignoring all of Romano's complaints, "they decide to-"

"Spagna!"

"Lovi."

"We're not talking about this, you tomato-bastard!" Southern Italy immediately threw the nearest object at the other. This happened to be a pillow which didn't exactly have the weight of something he would have prefered. "Ever!"

Spain pouted, crawling over to the Italian. "But, Lovi..." Quickly Spain began to smile. Romano had a very bad feeling about what was going to come next. "You always were more of a hands on learner though, right, Lovi?" He threw his arms around the smaller nation. "I'll show you!"

The Italian struggled to get away violently. "No! Go away, you creepy tomato-bastard!"


"Matthieu, it is about time I teach you the secrets of l'amour," France told his - nation, colony - friend?

"France?"

"Now, I know I'm the most attractive of all the nations, but you can't just love me. Love must be shared with everyone! You must take them and invade their-"

Needless to say, the conversation was cut short when Canada ran away in favor of hiding in a closet. It took a week of England's coaxing to get him to come back out and another month before he could even look at France.

None of them were ever going to let their mentors talk to them about anything again. Well, expect maybe Romano.


"Hey, England, what's 'the talk'?"

England sputtered but managed to put down the fine china before he broke it. "What was that, America?"

"Prussia told me he just had the talk with Germany. How come we never had the talk?" He was pouting now. The blond was such a child sometimes.

"I'm going to kill that Prussian!"