Disclaimer: I do not own the Scott Pilgrim story or any of the characters mentioned in this story. All original characters and lines belong to Bryan Lee O'Malley. This story is for entertainment purposes only. Any similarity to persons, living or dead, is purely coincidental.
A/N: And so another story begins. As much as I'd like to think of myself as a newcomer, I guess when you're going into your third story, you can't really claim ignorance. Let's see if I can keep the momentum going. And for those of you coming from my latest story, "One Night of Trouble," hopefully this one will give some closure to that story. Just... not in the prologue. Sorry. :-) Guess you'll just have to keep reading (See what I did there? Good stuff, right?). Anyway, hope you enjoy this little story!
Scott and Ramona's Precious Little Wedding
Lily Pilgrim (Age: 19, Status: Loving Summer Vacation!) walked out on her aunt Lisa's back porch. The house was set on the side of a giant hill, with the porch overlooking the Pacific Ocean. It was beautiful, complete with the sun setting over the horizon, turning the sky a brilliant shade of orange.
"Beautiful, right?" said her aunt, Lisa Miller (Age: You should know better than to ask *wink*, Occupation: Big Time Hollywood Actress) as she joined Lily on the porch.
"Yeah. And here I thought America was nothing but smog and trash," Lily teased.
"Eh… that's a little further up the beach," Lisa answered with a smile. "I had to make sure I was far away from that stuff. You know… Canadians loving clean wilderness and such."
The two sat for a long moment, just looking out at the beach. Finally, Lily asked a question. It had been tickling at her brain for the last few weeks, ever since her own harrowing experiences fighting proxies of her mother's evil ex-boyfriends.
"Aunt Lisa… what was Mom and Dad's wedding like?" she questioned.
Lisa smiled. "Well… to use a word that your dad uses a lot, it was awesome. Of course, I wasn't there for everything. Had a big movie shoot to do. It was all related to me when I got there by your aunt Kim. I can tell you the whole story if you want."
"That's why I asked," Lily responded with a grin.
"Then let's go inside… this story is gonna take longer than the daylight we've got left, and the mosquitoes out here are ridiculous," Lisa said as she started inside.
Lisa's living room was decorated to closely match the beach outside. Lily sat down on a couch that was the same color as the sand, while Lisa leaned back in a similarly colored chair, looking up at the ceiling fan as it slowly spun.
"I don't have to tell you what happened while your parents were dating. You were educated in that quite recently," Lisa began, "so I'll start at the moment all these types of stories start… with a guy who has absolutely NO IDEA what he's getting himself into…"
"Dude, are you sure? I mean… this is pretty heavy stuff."
Stephen Stills (Status: Nervous for his friend) had stopped in mid-chop of a cucumber meant for the garden salad he was making. Across the Happy Avocado kitchen, Scott Pilgrim (Age: 25, Status: Let's not lie people… he's pretty nervous himself) stood at the sink, busily washing dishes. Stephen stared at him in disbelief.
"I know… believe me, I know," Scott answered. He had TRIED to nonchalantly toss out his surprise announcement, but had of course failed miserably. "But… it seems like the next thing that needs to happen, right?"
Stephen looked down at his half chopped cucumber. "I just can't believe you're actually gonna do it… you're actually gonna take guitar lessons."
"It's what Shatterband needs to make it to the next level," Scott replied.
Stephen went back to chopping his cucumber, shaking his head. "I thought you guys weren't into the serious band stuff. Weren't you just having fun with the whole thing?"
"Yeah… we just decided we wanted to play in front of actual people… not just Gideon and Rammy," Scott said. (With Knives off at college, and Youn… I mean… "NEIL" developing taste, the demographic for Shatterband was pretty slim… never mind that Scott just said his girlfriend wasn't an "actual person").
Stephen shrugged his shoulders. Made sense. He continued chopping the cucumber in silence.
"Oh… and I'm gonna ask Rammy to marry me," Scott spit out suddenly.
"XXXX!" cursed Stephen as the knife slipped and sliced his finger.
"So remind me again why I'M the one doing this with you," Kim Pine (Age: 25, Status: Annoyed that she's here on one of her only days off) said as she walked down the sidewalk with Scott Pilgrim.
"Because I need someone who would know what Ramona likes in jewelry," Scott replied, matter-of-factly.
"Right," Kim sighed in exasperation. "Scott… what in our years of knowing each other has shown you that I would even CARE what type of jewelry Ramona likes?"
"I don't know… I thought maybe you had talked about it at a slumber party or something," Scott answered (Scott Pilgrim's Ideas About Slumber Parties: Girls talking about boys and jewelry, possibly involving underwear, pillow fights and experimental kissing? *shudder*).
"Slumber party?" Kim asked incredulously.
Kim glared at Scott out of the corner of her eye as they walked in the door of a small jeweler (WatchCraft Jewelers: Est. 1941). The attendant behind the main counter greeted them almost immediately.
"Hello! How may I help you today?" the attendant asked.
Scott looked around for a moment. There were more shiny objects in this one room than he'd seen in his entire life. Abruptly, Kim smacked him in the back of the head in an effort to refocus him.
"So… are we going to buy a ring for your girlfriend, or are you just going to stand there like a drooling idiot?" she growled. Kim wasn't very happy about giving up her day off, much less spending it ring shopping for Ramona Flowers' engagement ring (Kim Pine Note: Really? What gave you THAT idea?)(Lisa Miller Note: No reason to get snippy, Kim…).
Scott shook his head and walked up to the counter. "I'm trying to pick out an awesome engagement ring for my girlfriend…"
The attendant smiled. "Say no more, sir. I've got just the thing!" She walked back through a door and returned a moment later with a small box. She opened it and placed it on the counter for Scott and Kim to see. "This is our special right now... the 'B'tub Ring," she said after allowing them to admire it for a second.
Scott looked at the ring. It was small and gold, with a red ruby inset. A beautiful ring to be sure. "So... what stat upgrades does this give?" he asked. (Kim Pine Note: Oh my God you can't be serious...).
The attendant didn't miss a beat. "It doesn't offer much in the way of protection, but it DOES offer a +4 to magical offense."
Kim stared at the attendant, her left eye twitching. Scott, however, was in full negotiation mode, and he leaned forward over the ring. "She doesn't really use magic offense very much. She's more of a warrior type, so we kind of need increased attack power."
The attendant thought for a moment. "I'm afraid we don't have much that can increase attack power, but we DO have the Jinx Ring, which prevents instant death," she replied, closing the box. (Kim Pine Note: Shoot me... just shoot me now).
"Instant death? That sounds bad," Scott said, mulling the offer over. "How much is that one?"
"7000 dollars," the attendant answered.
Kim coughed in surprise. "7000 dollars? Well... looks like we're not getting THAT one!"
Scott thought for a moment and then pulled out a large bag of coins. (Kim Pine Note: Wait... where the heck did THAT come from?) Kim looked at him with wide eyes as the attendant inspected the bag and its contents. "Should that cover it?" Scott asked, a big smile on his face.
"I'll have to count it of course, but just looking... yeah... I'd say we're good," the attendant answered as she picked up the bag and took it to the back room.
Kim stared at Scott for a long time, in utter disbelief. Finally, she found her voice. "Scott... where did you get that bag from? Did you have that when we came in?"
"Yeah," Scott answered.
"So... where was it? I don't remember seeing you with that bag."
Scott shrugged his shoulders. "I had it Kim... it was just in my pocket."
Kim shook her head, still trying to make sense of what she just saw. "Ooookay... forgive me if I'm wrong, but aren't you a DISHWASHER at the Happy Avocado?"
"Yeah," Scott replied.
"So... regardless of where you got the bag from... where the hell did you get all that money?" Kim demanded.
"Gideon," Scott said with a smile.
"So... you're telling me that you're buying your girlfriend an INSANELY expensive engagement ring with the money you got from killing her last ex-boyfriend?" Kim asked.
"Exactly," Scott said.
Kim couldn't help but smile a bit. "Scott Pilgrim... damn, I can't even finish that sentence," she said as the attendant came back to the counter with the empty bag and another small box. Scott took the box and opened it. The ring itself was white gold, but had a sparkling emerald inset. It sparkled in the sunlight as Scott held it up to inspect it. Meanwhile, Kim just rolled her eyes. "Yeah... remember what I said about if your life had a face... still stands," she muttered as she patted him on the back.
Wallace Wells (Status: Still Gay!) poured himself another margarita as Scott sat down on the couch. Wallace looked at him and smiled. "So... what can I do ya for?"
"Wallace, you know how awkward that sounds," Scott said.
"Exactly why I say it," Wallace replied as he sat down across from Scott on a tan couch.
"Wait," Lily said. "Uncle Wallace gave you THIS couch?"
Lisa smiled. "Yes he did. He said he figured a big time actress would need it more than he did."
"Cool," Lily replied, having a new found liking to this couch (Lily Pilgrim Note: Since it came from my favorite uncle!). "Continue."
"So, being serious for a second, what DO you want, Scott?" Wallace asked, taking a sip of his drink.
"I was wondering... if I could borrow your apartment for a night," Scott stammered.
"Really Scott? I thought you had your own apartment for cuddling," Wallace said as he cut his eyes at Scott.
"Not for cuddling," Scott said, waving his hand. "No... I'm going to propose to Rammy, and my apartment... well... Kim lives there with me and apparently, that's not very romantic." (Ramona Flowers Note: Correct)
Realization dawned on Wallace's face as he slowly grinned. "Well look at that... Scott Pilgrim actually manning up? Your mom would be so proud."
"Leave my mom out of this, Wallace," Scott replied.
"Never," Wallace said as he took another long drink from his glass. "And in answer to your question, of course you can borrow my apartment for your little proposal. After all... what kind of mentor figure would I be if I denied you that?"
Scott's cell phone (Read: Ramona's cell phone that she lent Scott for the day) rang. He quickly flipped it open and answered to hear the voice of his sister on the other end.
"Scott, what's this I hear about you getting engaged?" Stacey Pilgrim (Age: 20, Status: Incredibly Informed Little Sister) demanded.
"How did you know? I haven't told anyone except Kim, Stephen and Wallace!" Scott retorted.
"Wallace, duh," Stacey replied.
Scott glanced incredulously at Wallace. "But... how? I'm looking right at him! He doesn't even have his..." Scott stopped as Wallace pulled his cell phone out from behind his back. "...that gossipy..."
"Sorry Scott," Wallace said with a smile as he went to get a refill on his drink.
"Just wait til I tell Mom that you're getting engaged and you weren't even going to tell her!" Stacey teased from the other end of the phone.
"I was planning on telling her... just... not... yet?" Scott stammered.
"So, the plan was all laid out," Lisa said. "Scott would fix dinner at Wallace's apartment, and he hid the ring in the chair. Once they were cuddling after dinner, he'd pull it out and propose. It was simple, but effective."
"Why do I get the feeling that's not everything that happened?" Lily asked, cocking her eyebrow.
"Well... it's Scott Pilgrim. Nothing's ever THAT simple..."
Ramona Flowers (Fun Fact: Has NO idea that Scott is about to propose... but is smart enough to know SOMETHING'S going on) walked down the sidewalk alongside her boyfriend, Scott Pilgrim.
"So you're sure he's okay with this?" she asked.
"Of course!" Scott replied (Status: Full of nervous energy). "We have an understanding."
"I've heard THAT one before," Ramona replied.
Wallace's apartment was located in downtown Toronto, overlooking the city. Scott practically bounded up the stairs, trying his hardest to contain his excitement as Ramona trudged up after him (Ramona Flowers Note: Hey! You try climbing that many stairs after a full day of roller blading!).
"Seriously... I don't think I've seen you this excited since they announced Skyward Sword," Ramona sighed as Scott helped her up the last few stairs.
"What can I say? It's exciting to be spending the evening with the greatest girl in Toronto?" Scott said with an innocent shrug.
"Uh huh," Ramona said.
After some momentary confusion with the key (Wallace Wells Note with Spare Key: Figured you'd forget it. Here's a spare. I expect the original back too!), Scott opened the door and allowed Ramona in. The apartment smelled of pasta and garlic, a familiar odor for Scott's dinners (Scott Pilgrim Note: Trying to learn new stuff, but tonight isn't the night for new. It's the night for perfect!). Ramona took great care to "oooo" and "ahh" at the spread laid out on the table.
"Good to see you DO actually know how to use a table," Ramona teased.
Scott folded his arms. "I know how to use one... I've just never had one."
A short time later, Scott and Ramona were sitting on the couch, basking in the glow of a dinner eaten. Scott eyed the chair across the room, where he knew something very special was hidden.
"This was great, honey," Ramona sighed contentedly.
"Yeah... hey... you wanna move over to the chair?" Scott asked.
"Why?" Ramona asked. "I'm quite comfortable over here on the couch."
"What?" Ramona looked up at Scott.
"Umm... nothing. I mean... I thought we might just wanna sit on the chair for a little while," Scott tried to play his suggestion off.
Ramona shrugged. "If you want, I guess."
The two got up and walked over to the chair. Scott sat down first, with Ramona sitting down on his lap. "See? Much more comfortable," Scott said with a smile.
Ramona lifted an eyebrow. "If you say so," she smirked.
Scott leaned back and smiled, all the while trying to stealthily feel around in the cushions of the chair for that little box. As he kept feeling around for it though... he didn't find it. He started digging more frantically.
"Whoa! I know Wallace probably has change in his couch cushions, but are you really trying to steal it?" Ramona asked, watching Scott as he rummaged in the cushions.
"But... but..." Scott stammered.
Both of them heard the bedroom door open. As Scott's eyes went wide with horror, a slightly sleepy (slightly drunk?) Wallace Wells stumbled out of his bedroom, dressed in nothing but a t-shirt and a pair of biker shorts. He took one look at Scott and Ramona sitting in the chair and smiled.
"Congratulations to the newly engaged couple!" he yelled, lifting an imaginary glass in salute.
"Newly engaged?" Ramona asked.
Wallace's smile dropped. So did Scott's head.
"Did I say engaged?" Wallace backpedaled. "I meant... obviously... the newly well fed couple!" he exclaimed as he walked over to the table, which was still full of dishes. After a quick inspection of the table though, Wallace looked at Scott. "Umm... Scott? Were you looking for something?"
"Yeah," Scott groaned.
"Is this it?" Wallace said as he held up a small box.
Ramona's eyes grew as big as saucers as she got off of Scott and slowly backed up to the couch. Scott stood up and walked over to the table, taking the ring from Wallace and wiping it off. Then he took a deep breath and turned around. Ramona was sitting on the couch, still freaking out just a little (Ramona Flowers Note: A little? A LITTLE?).
"Ramona Victoria Flowers..." Scott began as he walked toward Ramona. "Ever since you first skated through my dreams, I knew you were the one for me. And even through defeating all of your evil ex-boyfriends, I knew that, at the end of it all, I'd spend my life with you. But I have to ask you a question before we can do that..."
Scott reached the couch and opened the box, revealing the shining emerald ring (Jinx Ring! Effects: Prevents Instant Death! Also... Gets Your Girlfriend to become your fiancee!). Ramona's eyes locked on the ring.
"Rammy... will you marry me?" Scott said as he got down on a knee.
"YES!" Ramona nearly screamed. "Of course I will!"
As Scott finished putting the ring on her finger, she lunged forward and kissed him harder than she ever had before. After that, she hugged him for a long time.
"So... I did good?" Scott asked.
Ramona smiled on Scott's shoulder and looked at the ring on her hand. "Yes. It was everything I always imagined."
"Even the pantless gay guy?" Scott questioned.
Ramona thought for a moment. "Okay... maybe not." She couldn't help but grin.
"Cheers," Wallace said as he lifted a real glass this time, filled with another margarita (Wallace Wells Special Ability: Making Margaritas faster than anyone in history!).
"Wow," Lily said as she leaned forward on the couch.
"Yep... that's how it started," Lisa stated. "The whirlwind wouldn't calm down again for a WHILE."
"So is that when you showed up?" Lily asked.
"Oh no," Lisa responded. "I was busy filming. All I can tell you is that I was shocked to find out about it, and I was even more shocked to find out that Ramona wanted ME as one of her bridesmaids."
"So what happened next?" Lily pressed, leaning forward.
"Hey... if I'm telling the whole story tonight, I'm gonna need some more water. So you just sit tight, and I'll go get a refill," Lisa said as she jingled her empty water glass.
Lily sat back on the couch as Lisa got up and went to the kitchen. She thought about what she'd imagined her parents' engagement starting off with, and it definitely hadn't been her Uncle Wallace with no pants on. And she figured that wasn't the last time their wedding story would blow away her expectations. That's what she always loved about her dad's stories, and this one wasn't going to be any different. She waited patiently for her Aunt Lisa to return.
And so the story of the wedding of Scott Pilgrim and Ramona Flowers begins. Of course, this was just a prologue, so you can't expect much drama yet. It's really just the set up, right? Still... leaves some interesting questions. But since I'm not SO far removed from the "asking questions" motif of Lily Pilgrim vs. Their World, I'll keep those questions to myself. You stew over yours, and we'll meet back here and compare notes. Sound good? Great. :-D