A/N: This is a very crackish crossover fic. It started as an RP...and it sort of evolved. The fic itself doesn't make sense, but I hope you enjoy, as it's really for shits and giggles.
It involves Faberry and Xena/Gabrielle. If this offends you, please do the logical thing and don't read it.
Disclaimer: I don't own Glee, Xena:Warrior Princess, or Buffy the Vampire Slayer
If Quinn was really honest with herself, she thinks she would have preferred being pregnant and unpopular again to being in fifth period double History class. It was taught by one of those 50's style, glasses-wearing, slightly sexist male teachers who seemed to drone on and on and on for hours about stuff the students already knew and tended to only call on the nerdy guys who sat in the front row.
First of all, the class was right after lunch. Therefore half the class' eyes were half closed with post-lunch exhaustion, and the other half of the class just skipped. So, in annoyance at his students' lack of dedication, the teacher decided to make the class even more boring than usual, if that was even possible. Second, they were currently learning about ancient religions and cultures, and Quinn had a sinking feeling somewhere in her stomach that if he father were still around he would probably pull her out of the class, because the word "sexual ritual" was mentioned way too often, and they had had to do a faux prayer service for an Egyptian god last Friday. Even though any respect for her father was lost after the whole being kicked out incident, sometimes the overwhelming control he used to have on her life took over her brain.
On Thursday Afternoon, May 2nd, Fifth period History class, however, Quinn was pretty sure her life changed forever.
It really all started with a simple project, but like radioactive material, managed to double in size, start glowing, and partially imploded and exploded several times.
The project was, it turns out, a partner-project that was supposed to be about an ancient culture and how it still ties to the modern world. The teacher, Mr. Burns mentioned several times that it was the final project of the year, therefore was the last grade of the year, and therefore if you failed it you would have to repeat the class and would be a failure in life, considering it probably counted for about…50% of your final grade.
The rest of the class groaned at the prospect of working, (or at least the ones that were still awake groaned), but Quinn groaned at the aspect of probably having to work with a partner. And considering Mr. Burns was the type who liked to assign partners himself, this was not shaping up to be a good day.
To the rest of the school, she was a first-class ice queen bitch, so working with a partner never turned out well for her. Usually the person she was assigned to was either A) Terrified of her B) Assumed they would have to do all the work, and then would get mad at her for actually contributing, or C) Asked if Puck was a good lay or not, and made jabs about giving up her baby. Rachel Berry was also in this class, and Quinn was more irritated with her than usual this week because her ex-boyfriend was still obviously in love with her. She honestly didn't care that much about Finn, she cared more that her perfect life that was planned suddenly wasn't going to happen, and the fact that someone could and did choose Rachel fucking Berry over her. No. It was more that more people could fall in love with Rachel, because she had that charming, alluring, warm feel about her, while Quinn didn't. No one could love her unconditionally like that, Quinn had learned the hard way. Her parents didn't really love her until she went from being Lucy to Quinn, and then they had thrown away that love when she made some stupid teenage mistake. And everyone else…everyone else…
Quinn really missed the old self-confidence she had back when she was a virgin.
As the teacher explained what the project was about, what websites to use, and what books to look for and yada yada yada, Quinn gritted her teeth in anticipation.
Finally, Mr. Burns announced the partners just before the 6th period with a brisk clipped voice and a yellow sheet of paper.
"Mike Chang and Danny Eddelson, Egypt"
"Katy Everson and Emily Burks, Ireland"
"Sam Evans and Sarah Angelson, Sumer"
Quinn scribbled her pencil harshly against her purple notebook.
Come on, come on.
She was starting to not really care who was her partner, as long as it wasn't….
"Rachel Berry and Quinn Fabray, Ancient Greece"
Quinn rolled her eyes, and tried to avoid Rachel's gaze. But she had those shimmering eyes that seemed to force your eyes to look into them and be involved in her absurdly obsessive happiness. However today her eyes looked a bit fearful, and she gave a tiny smile and wave in Quinn's direction, and Quinn just honestly wanted to punch her.
After the bell rang, Rachel padded up to her desk as she was packing up. She tried to pack up fast to avoid her, but the diva was quick.
"Hey, Quinn." Rachel put on a showface.
"Berry." Rachel shifted her books to her other hip, and her showface growing wider
"So, we should probably get started on this assignment as soon as possible. Because I got an 89% on the last quiz, my grade point average went down significantly, and I really need to maintain my straight A average if I want to even possibly go to Julliad or NYU, so can we go to the Lima County library today after Glee Club? I already know many facts about Ancient Greece, so we just need to have a bibliography, and-"
Rachel was stammering, which was completely unlike her, but she was still Rachel and was therefore talking a mile a minute, therefore Quinn felt like it was her duty to the world to stop her before she passed out or something from lack of oxygen.
Quinn held up her hand.
"Allright, I'll go with you today, if you shut up. Right now."
Rachel grinned, in an almost not-fake way.
"Great! Can we go in your car?"
Rachel shifted her books once more, before her wide smile finally dropped into a sympathetic grin.
"And Quinn…I'm sorry about Finn. Sometimes he just gets confused about his feelings. He'll come around."
Quinn quirked an eyebrow. Berry apologizing?
Rachel nodded and turned to leave, and Quinn for he first time realized just how short Rachel's dorky pleated skirts were, then realized exactly where she was looking and continued to pack up.
This was turning out to be a rather odd day, really.
The Lima County Library was the oldest building Quinn had ever been in. The walls were decaying and cracked, and the shelves were tall and filled with ancient, yellowed hardcover books. It even smelled old. The only real way to know that they weren't stuck in a time machine, was because there were PC computers lined up on the back-row in booths.
It was there that Quinn and Rachel had situated themselves after Glee Club had ended. (Mr. Schue decided that they would sing Disney Songs this week to get them in a happy spirit for Nationals. Quinn had facepalmed, because seriously, what the hell?).
And they were in the midst of an argument four steps away from said computers. No surprises there.
"Quinn, come on! Books are much more informative and factual than the internet, of which ANYONE can create a web page full of NONFACTUAL INFORMATION."
Quinn rolled her eyes and crossed her arms. She needed to use the Internet.
"Yeah, but the internet is faster, Manhands, and we don't have time for you to go all Giles on us."
Rachel covered her mouth to stop herself from giggling.
"You watch Buffy The Vampire Slayer?"
Quinn reddened, and wondered how in the world she had let slip a reference to her middle-school obsession.
She narrowed her eyes. "Maybe, what it's it to you?"
Rachel shrugged. "Nothing, I just wasn't aware that almost Prom Queen Quinn Fabray was suck a geek."
Quinn's fists clenched and unclenched as memories of Lucy Caboosey slipped into her mind. Rachel blinked at her small show of anger and starting talking before Quinn had a chance to smack her and/or verbally abuse her.
She put her hands on her hips.
"Look. I'll look at the books and you'll go on the computers. Does that sound fair to you?"
Quinn pursed her lips.
Rachel skipped off then to the history section, and finally left Quinn in peace. The computers themselves were rather old, but Quinn hadn't had internet at home since her mother had to stop their service because of the bills, so she honestly couldn't bring herself to care. Making two tabs, she quickly googled "Ancient Greece, modern times" and another with normal teenager websites.. If she wanted to keep her newly restored status in school, she'd have to update her status at least once a week. And regularly check her email. And make sure Jacob Ben Israel doesn't report a second pregnancy, or something of the like. Considering how completely screwed up both her home and love life had become, she needed her school life to be at least bearable. Or at least not to have to deal with people slushie-ing her in her favorite blue dress.
Of course, she hadn't timed her fun internet time properly, (because, really, who could?), because halfway through reading Santana's latest tumblr post, she heard someone clear their throat behind her.
She turned around to meet the very angry eyes of one Rachel Berry, who was carrying at least five very large books that were half her size.
Quinn surreptitiously switched tabs.
"What Berry? This is a library! They'll get pissed if you shout."
"Quinn, I saw that."
Quinn feigned confusion.
Rachel rolled her eyes.
"You're goofing off Quinn! While I'm doing all the work!"
"No, I'm not! SEE I'm looking up stuff about Greece!"
She smiled in triumph and pointed at the computer. Rachel huffed and settled her books down. Glancing up at the screen briefly, a smirk made its away across her face.
"Oh…? So you wish to make the focus of our project on Xena: Warrior Princess?"
"Look at your screen-I might say it is a good choice, as it does show some of Ancient Greece's influences on modern culture."
Quinn glanced at the screen, and reddened when she saw an image of a tall woman with a barely-there leather warrior outfit, and an expression on her face that could only be described as sensual-no wait…fierce…that's….better…
She cleared her throat. Rachel would not get the better of her.
"Yes. I wish to point out the…cultural….references of this….Dena?"
"Xena, Quinn. Her name is Xena."
"You needn't get defensive about it."
"I WASN'T getting defensive about it!"
Quinn quirked an eyebrow.
"Okaay…but just so you know… you kind of were, Berry."
It was Rachel's turn to blush.
"Well it was my favorite show as a child! I used to run around the house with a cardboard chakram and I even forced my Dads to get me martial arts and sword fighting lessons so I could do all the fighting maneuvers from the show. I did, you should know, get quite skilled in both areas, before I decided to quit to better train my voice and-"
"Berry! Enough. We'll do our report about the damn show."
Rachel smirked again.
"Well…it's just surprising Quinn that you would want to write about this show…considering what communities it effects."
"…What? Berry you're not making sense."
Rachel rolled her eyes.
"Well you must know of the impact the show has had on the lesbian community this past decade. Xena, along with her *ahem* partner Gabrielle have become, in correspondence, huge lesbian icons."
Quinn completely whitened this time.
"…I didn't…I mean…I don't"
Rachel stopped her with her hand.
"Quinn I know of your family's….unacceptance of the gay community, as my dads have both received hate-mail from your dad, and considering the amount of editorials that are written for the newspaper…I'm used to it. I apologize for smirking earlier, but I just wanted…to let you know."
"NO. I mean. That's my parents. I..used to believe what they believe…but ever since…Beth..I've been branching out. I have my own beliefs. And why I don't understand that…lifestyle, I'm more okay with it now."
Rachel smiled, a really genuine one. And with a startle, Quinn realized how pretty her real, not-showfaced smile was. And how little she saw it.
"Good for you, Quinn."
Quinn awkwardly dropped her hands to her lap before abruptly standing up. Too many emotions were going on. Way too many.
"I'll…look at books now. I'm sure you'll get less distracted by the other parts of the internet...
Quinn ran off without looking at Rachel's reaction. Of course, she didn't look exactly where she was going, so somehow she ended up in a section of the library she didn't know existed.
"Restricted, Authorized Personal Only…."
She needed to get out of here.
Looking around frantically to make sure the scary librarian wasn't anywhere to be seen, she quickly started to scamper away. Turning around the corner to yet another shelf of books, she stopped suddenly. Something within her started pulling at her heartstrings, and she listened.
It was a voice. She was probably crazy, but she swore she heard a voice coming from the section she was just in. Or a bunch of voices, really. Mingling, desperate voices. It was calling to her.
What kind of pot had she been smoking?
Almost as if under some sort of trance, Quinn made her way over restricted section once more. It was crazy, it really was. Quickly snatching the doorknob, Quinn cocked her head at the fact that door seemed to open so easily.
Oh god, she really shouldn't be here.
Rushing through the door, she nearly slammed it shut. After squeezing her eyes shut in anticipation of someone busting her for following…hem…voices, she opened them and peered around the room.
It was a small, enclosed room with a a few shelves filled with ancient looking books and..what the?…scrolls. A desk was pushed up against the back wall. There were no windows, as if this room wasn't already creepy. It was a normal looking room, actually, besides the fact that the voices were starting to get louder and Quinn had to clamp her hands over her ears to drown them out.
Walking along the shelves, her hand began to run along the spines of the books and the handles of the scrolls. She was looking for something, that much she knew. The voices turned to shouting.
Don't leave me!…
Quinn paused as her hand started to clasp around the wooden handle of a small scroll. The voices were threatening to burst her eardrums. This was it? She pulled the scroll out of the bunches of others on the shelf, and an envelope slid out from the center of it.
The voices stopped very suddenly.
And the silence was starting to become much louder than the voices had been.
Overwhelmed, Quinn nearly dropped the scroll, but her gut told her to hold onto it. If not for the stupid project, then for…she didn't know. But she needed it.
Before undoing the velvet strip that held the scroll together, she paused and grabbed the envelope.
TO: Jack Dennings Lima County Library
FROM: Janice Covington
As you know, Mel died last Friday. The grief is nearly overwhelming, but I needed to make sure I sent this to you before I forget. Without her, my time is drawing nearer and nearer to a close, and it is of the upmost importance that you receive this safely. As you know, Mel and I have translated the Xena Scrolls to our best abilities. We sent the ones we could to various museums, along with the chakram pieces. But there was one scroll that always baffled us. Usually when we couldn't translate a scroll, it was because of the condition the scroll itself was in. But this scroll was different. As soon as one would even get near it-don't look smug-you would hear voices. Terrible, shouting, voices. Somehow anything preventing you form getting close to the scroll would vanish. Once having touched the scroll, the voices would stop. Inside it were the strangest writings.
They were in Gabrielle's hand, we know that for sure…but they were not in Greek at least not to begin with. They started to morph in front of our very eyes into all different languages. They would not stay as one. One moment Latin, another moment German. Mel believed this scroll contained a sort of incantation, a spell of sorts. A transportation incantation. Or even…time travel…or something…or perhaps a soul splitter. She begged me to not to try to read it, as we did not know what would happen if we did. But we both knew it had to be hidden, and what better place than with you, my good friend? Please, I beg of you. Keep it safe. And enjoy your life. I will probably never see you again, as my health is already starting to fail.
Quinn put down the letter with a shudder. It was very familiar, the contents. Xena Scrolls? Why was that so familiar…Was it the same Xena from Rachel's old TV shows? Impossible.
This day couldn't get any more trippy.
Grabbing the scroll, she undid the strip of fabric, and the scroll almost unraveled itself. That person, Janice Covington, had been right about one thing. The letters were morphing. Staring at the parchment, Quinn became even more surprised when the letters started to settle into plain, readable English.
"Say these words I beg of thee.
To save the past that wasn't to be.
Only two have a connection
Regarding her and me
Will see the language that is their own
And discover the secrets and the key."
"So go forth, and be the saviors that you are.
I believe that you will bring a light
To our lives so dim
And the earth so dead"
I beg of thee."
Quinn put down the scroll, and gulped. An incantation they said it was? Quinn felt like she was in a really bad episode of the Simpsons.
"Hey you there!"
Quinn spun around and pocked the scroll.
"What are you doing? Get out of there?"
She breathed a sigh of relief when it wasn't this Jack Dennings, but a maintenance man. A maintenance man who probably never heard of the scrolls. She ran past him without even listening to his angry ramblings.
Without stopping for a breath, she ran through the maze of bookshelves toward where she left Rachel. Of course, the diva had abandoned the computer in favor of flipping through books.
'"Hello Quinn. Did you find….woah. What did you find? IS THAT AN ANCIENT GREEK SCROLL?"
As Quinn was catching her breath, she felt the scroll leave her hands. Feeling her heart drop in her stomach, she blindly reached forward for it.
"Hey! give it-"
"This is amazing! How could I have missed it?"
"BERRY. Yes it's amazing, yes I have better eyesight than you. JUST GIVE IT BACK."
"One second Quinn…wow….this is quite strange writing.."
The whole world seemed to stop as Rachel began to read the words of the scroll outlaid….fuck, Berry could read it?…..Quinn remembered Janice Covington's letter then, and lunged forward for the handle.
But Rachel had finished it.
"We could definitely use this for our project, I mean…"
"BERRY READ THIS LETTER."
The ground began to shake. No one seemed to notice. Oh fuck it, now the voices were back.
Rachel skimmed the letter, and her eyes began to widen.
"Xena…Gabrielle? AS IN XENA AND GABRIELLE FROM THE TV SHOW?"
Quinn facepalmed, as a powerful wind began to pass through the library. It dropped books from shelves, and shattered the huge glass window. Quinn grabbed Rachel and pulled her under the table.
"Rachel, Do. You. Undertsand. WHAT YOU HAVE DONE?"
Rachel blanched and squeezed the letter in her hands.
"I didn't know, Quinn! I swear..but this is so…"
At that moment the building finally gave in to the earthquakes and mass destruction, and toppled down around them. No one screamed, no one even seemed to notice the two panicking girls underneath the table. Rachel, however, did scream and the girl grabbed onto the blond's waist with a fierce grip that Quinn would never have guessed she had.
"What is happening? Now I'll never get my EGOT!"
With one final roll of her eyes, the world started to spin even faster and everything went black.
Please review, if you've got the time :)