Roxas was wiping way the excess tears off his cheeks as Sora woke up. Roxas didn't sleep at all last night and after several hours of trying, he decided to just stay up. He cut once again-this time a deep gash along his thigh-and he had been crying since then; he felt like he was betraying and lying to Sora in some way.
Sora sat up right in the bed and stretched, while letting out a loud yawn. As he rubbed the sleep out of his eyes, he finally noticed the blonde sitting curled up in the chair across from the bed. Roxas didn't notice he was awake at first; he was too lost in the cloudy thoughts that poisoned his mind. More screaming had returned and despite all his attempts he couldn't quell them. Finally, though, he noticed the brunette staring at him quietly and forced a small smile.
"Morning." Roxas muttered quietly, rubbing his eyes to make sure there were no more tears left over. Sora didn't respond immediately; he noticed that something was wrong with his younger brother. It wasn't like him to wake up earlier than him, let alone leave the bed without waking him up. Roxas always woke Sora up when he woke up; he said it was because 'he wanted to start the day together.' This was extremely out of character for his usually enthusiastic brother.
"Good morning." Sora said carefully, sliding out of the twin sized bed and shuffling over to the still curled up blonde. His eyes darted to the light blue pullover the blonde was now sporting. Sora tried to reason in his head why the blonde might have put a wool pullover on in the middle of August and his mind only came up with depressing ideas. After last night, and the show of Roxas' scars, maybe depressing ideas weren't so far-fetched.
He crouched down in front of the boy and offered him a warm smile. Sora was unsure how he should go about asking this; if he said the wrong thing...
"Roxy?" He started quietly, grabbing the blondes hand and rubbing circles among the top. Roxas looked up at him, nothing was visible in his eyes. The light that was usually there had seemingly disappeared; leaving nothing but bleakness. "Can I ask you something sweetie?" He asked, bringing his hand up to his mouth and kissing it softly.
Roxas continued to stare at him for a moment before faking another smile and nodding as enthusiastically he could manage.
"Of course." He mustered cheerfully, kissing the brunette's forehead quickly. He was somewhat taken aback by the sudden enthusiasm his brother displayed, but his empty blue eyes deceived him; told Sora it all was a lie.
"Can you take your sweater off for a second? Please?" Sora tried to think of an excuse why, "I want to make sure I didn't hurt you last night," was all he managed to come up with.
Roxas' world came somewhat crashing down on him, the screaming intensified.
"You didn't." He answered too quickly, anger lacing his usually sweet and honey like voice. Sora furrowed his eyebrows and gave Roxas a look of pleading. He needed to see what Roxas was hiding.
"Please." He whispered. His voice cracking slightly. Knowing that he was putting Sora in this type of pain was too much for Roxas to handle; he needed his escape. Roxas pushed on Sora's shoulders, making him topple to the floor, and strode out of the room in three easy steps. He quickened his pace to get to the bathroom and slammed the door shut accidentally.
He cursed himself as he realized the slam would probably awaken his parents; Sora could take to them then. They would finally know what was happening to their darling little son. He grabbed his blonde hair and pulled hard and he sunk to the floor, fighting back the scream that was forming in his chest. He heard footsteps outside in the hallway and then muttering; and he knew, that it was about him.
He grabbed his razor blade quickly and debated over whether or not to end it right there. All he had to do was cut down; hold it too his throat. He'd be free of the voices, the screaming, the constant pain that was always welling in his chest. He wanted it all to end, he knew he did; yet there was something that held him back. That screamed for him to stay alive, to get better, that there was so much more in life than this pain.
He held it to his wrist; broken sobs escaping from his lips. He heard banging on the door but it all sounded far away. The screaming in his head was telling him to end it. Nobody would miss him. Sora had Riku, his mom had his dad, everybody had somebody else. Nobody needed him. He began to tremble uncontrollably; the sobs intensified.
Noah broke down the door with ease and was stunned to find his son on the ground in such a broken state. Jane forced by him and knelt down next to her only son; the only son she could ever have.
"Baby." She said quietly, touching his cheek gently. Roxas pulled away from her quickly and looked at her with frantic eyes.
"Go away." He almost screamed, pressing the razor blade down; letting small droplets of blood suddenly surround it. He hated that he was doing this too himself, let alone right in front of his mother and father, but it was his escape; when he needed it he was going to do it. The screaming had become the loudest he ever made it, by now it would have died down because he gave it the blood that it so desperately craved. He shut his eyes, trying to tune out everything; his parents, Sora, the screaming, the blade against his skin. He wanted it all to disappear.
Jane watched as he son slowly moved the razor blade across his wrist, horrified as she realized how far he was digging it in.
"Roxy." She said frightened. She motioned for Noah to help her and by doing so he managed to get the razor blade away from Roxas. Roxas, finally let out the pent up scream he had been holding back. Half out of his own misery and pain, and half out of frustration. He had the chance to end his life, why didn't he?
Sora stood in the doorway, tears streaming down his cheeks. He hated that he hadn't noticed this, and he wondered that if he had lived with them he would have. Roxas was always so happy when they were together, he didn't understand what had happened. He took a step back from the door and stumbled in to the wall. This was all so confusing.
Jane had quickly grabbed bandages from the cabinet and silently gave thanks that she was nurse and not squeamish around blood. As Noah held Roxas, as he had began thrashing around in an almost violent manner, Jane carefully dressed his wounds. When she was finished, Roxas had calmed down quite a bit and was staring blankly at the tiled floor.
What was wrong with him?
"Sweetheart?" Jane finally said after an uncomfortable silence had settled. Roxas glanced up at her, to give her the notion he was listening, but did nothing else to acknowledge her. "Come here." She said quietly, grabbing him by the waist and giving him a gentle hug. Roxas was unsure as to how he should be reacting, but soon found himself wrapping his arms around his sad mother and crying quietly in to her neck. She soothed him as Noah found the blood-stained towel from the night before, grabbed everything sharp from the bathroom and led Sora to the front of the apartment.
They stayed like that for a long while before Jane gently pushed him away and gave him a small smile. He stared back at her broken. He hated that he did that in front of her.
"I think..." She started but didn't finish. Instead, she stood up and helped him up slowly. Roxas stumbled a bit but was caught by Jane and they walked to her and Noah's bedroom. She laid him down on the bed and tucked the covers around him. She looked around the room, as to find any other sharp instruments and when she found none, kissed him on the forehead and sat down beside him.
Roxas hadn't realized how exhausted he was until his head it the pillow and how his mom began stroking his golden locks gently. He shut his eyes and was soon sleeping.
Jane continued to sit with him, until Noah came in with Sora. Sora appeared that he had been crying and something inside Jane felt incredibly guilty. She motioned for Sora to come to sit beside her, and as he did, she kissed his forehead as well and asked him to look after Roxas; while she and Noah had a talk.
They left the room and once out of it, Jane broke down in to uncontrollable sobs, not fully processing what she had just witnessed her son doing. Noah held her tightly against his chest and she cried. He wasn't an emotional person, but right now he was just confused at to what he should be feeling or how he should be acting. Noah picked Jane up carefully after a few moment and carried her to the living room; where the sat on the sofa in silence.
"Noah," Jane finally said, "what are we going to do?" She looked up at him, her eyes filled with tears, more falling down her cheeks. Noah wiped them away thoughtfully and kissed her gently. He offered no response though to her question, he had no idea what they were supposed to do with their supposedly suicidal son. Once Jane realized Noah wasn't going to offer an answer she laid her head on his chest and shut her eyes.
She didn't know what they were supposed to do with him, but one thing was for sure; she was going to do anything she could to protect him, even from himself.