Title: Stormy Nights
Author: Forsaken2003
Pairing: Spike/Xander
Rating: R
Disclaimer: I own none; all belong to Joss Whedon
Comments: Always welcomed!
Summary: Xander is afraid of storms
Warnings/Spoilers: Season 4
Beta'd by: Whichclothes
Prompt #253 from tamingthemuse –Any Joke in a Storm

The weather outside was horrible. Worse than horrible. It was dark and stormy, lightning flashing and thunder rumbling. The winds were so strong branches were bending, cracking and slamming against windows. Almost an hour ago the storm had knocked out the power leaving Xander in his dank basement apartment with one lonely candle. There was a flash of lightning and a loud bang. It wasn't thunder. Someone had all but kicked in his door.

Xander screamed and jumped over his couch to cower in fear. Weirdos always came out during crazy storms, the storms brought something out in them to stalk, kill and dismember. Xander really needed to stop watching horror movies; his life was a horror movie all on its own. A hand covered his mouth to prevent any sound.

Spike kicked in the door, his duster covered his head as he tried to stay as dry as possible. It didn't work. He had been leaving Willy's after an unsuccessful night of kitten poker when the storm started. His crypt was at least two miles away while Xander's place was only a few blocks. It was a no brainer. When he barged in Spike was sure he had seen Xander, heard him and his unmanly scream but he was nowhere to be seen. "Whelp? Where are ya? I know you're in here, I can smell you."

"Spike?" Xander's head popped out from behind his couch. "Christ, I thought you were some psycho with an axe who was going to cut me into pieces and eat me!"

Even though Xander couldn't see it Spike raised an eyebrow. "You've got to stop watching horror movies."

"I was just thinking the same thing," Xander replied. There was a boom of thunder and Xander tumbled over his couch landing on the floor. "Fuck, I hate storms."

Spike frowned; he had never seen Xander so agitated before. Not even while fighting demons that had tentacles. "What the hell is wrong with you?"

Xander moved closer to the table so he had a little more light from the candle. "I hate storms, always have and always will. Willow usually hangs out with me to help but now with college and everything she doesn't have time for me anymore," he said sadly.

Xander looked completely and utterly pathetic. Spike thought he looked adorable. "What can I do to help?"

"Help? Why would you want to help me?" Xander asked and wiped his nose on the sleeve of his shirt.

"We're friends, yeah? I haven't had many in, well, ever but I know the concept. If a friend is down you help them. So what can I do?"

Xander smiled; with Spike here he would definitely be safe from any evil boogiemen. "I don't know."

Spike huffed and thought about what he could do to make Xander relax. He licked his lips; he knew what he wanted to. "We could snog."

"Snog?" Xander asked, perplexed. "What's that?"

Spike grinned and pounced on Xander making them tumble to couch. He proceeded to shove his tongue down Xander's throat. His hands roamed over Xander's body.

Xander squirmed and wiggled trying to figure out what the hell was going on. Finally he gave in and just decided to enjoy Spike's attack. When they pulled away he licked his lips. "Snogging is good but it didn't help completely. I have a child's fear so maybe a childish act would help?"

"Child's….. For Pete's sake!" Spike growled and sat up still straddling Xander. He wasn't done yet. Tapping his index finger on his chin, Spike thought back to what would make a child happy or distract him. He snapped his fingers together. Clem had told him a joke early that night. "How about a joke?"

"A joke?" Xander's eyes lit up. "I like a good joke."

"There we go!" Spike rubbed his hands together. "Why is there a gate around cemeteries?"

Xander scrunched up his face in thought. A branch smashed against his tiny window making him grasp onto Spike's t-shirt. "W-why?"

Spike petted Xander's hair before giving the answer. "Because people are dying to get in."

Xander burst out laughing. "Oh my God that was so lame! I love it." He smiled up at Spike. "Any joke in a storm right?"

"Remind me to thank Clem," Spike replied with a chuckle. "So now that I told you a joke can we snog some more?"

"Yes. And how cheap am I? One joke and I'm letting you onto first base," Xander said and pulled Spike down and tried to suck Spike's tongue out of his mouth.

The End