First off this is actually going to be the one story Im actually going to try and give my all. At the moment Im in the middle of my exams but by the end of June I'll be finished and will be able to put everything I have into this story.

The issue dealt with in this story is something close to my own heart, I self harm and I've noticed there aren't many stories that address the issue.

Im sorry if this story triggers anyone, its not my intention to do so. This may be a hard story for me to write as I will be using some of my own experiences. Advice and critizism is always welcome, along with those oh so lovely reviews! : )

I may not upload the next chapter until my exmas are over but I wrote this today and felt the need to upload this story, I couldn't wait.

So here it is ...

Hello, I'm Edward Cullen. I'm 20 years old and in my second year of my degree in music. I live on my own in my apartment, its small just 4 rooms, my bedroom, living room, kitchen and bathroom. It's simple and compact just enough for myself.

I have two siblings, Emmett and Alice. Emmett is 26 years old and has been married to his life-long friend Rosalie for the past 4 years. He's loud, built like the hulk with short brown hair. He's actually just like a big kid, god help Rose when they have kids. Emmett and Rosalie actually own their own repairs garage in New York and specialise in re-building older cars, their passion for all things mechanical is what attracted them to each other at just 5 years old.

Alice and Emmett are quiet similar in their personalities but definitely not in size. Alice is small, probably 4ft 11 of 5ft, with spiky black hair and an infectious enthusiasm for life. She's 27 and owns her own boutique in New York. Alice has just got married to her husband Jasper, Rosalie's brother. Jasper was always around our place when they were in school and their relationship stemmed from there. After being engaged since they were 18 Alice finally had her dream wedding, all of course designed by her, 6 months ago.

We were brought up by our adoptive parents Esme and Carlisle in a big home in Seattle. Money was and never will be a problem for my family, with Esme owning her own interior design business and Carlisle being a well respected surgeon and doctor, plus it doesn't hurt that they both came from very well off families. The only problem with being so rich was that they both thought they could show little affection and that the money would make up for anything they didn't do, Emmett and Alice loved this, and they got the loving parents and the high class lifestyle.

I on the other hand hated it.

I was never comfortable in my own skin.

I always felt like the black sheep of the family, being the youngest and the last to come to the family.

I sometimes wonder why they even bothered adopting me; they didn't act like parents towards me like they did to Alice and Emmett. I was left to do my own thing, concern for me was never shown, of course Christmases and birthdays were different but I actually preferred being ignored most of the time.

I say most of the time because if they had noticed me they would of seen the bullying I went through, the bruises I came home with, how much I struggled to accept myself. They would of seen how much I hurt, my loneliness, my anger at them and really just how much I wanted to be accepted into their family. Of course none of that matters now because the minute I graduated high school I left home, packed up all my shit and left. I didn't need them; I had money from my biological parents and enough common sense to survive in the world.

My adoptive family didn't bother keeping in touch, they didn't care, and they all had their own lives to live, why bother being concerned about a worthless boy? I only knew of their lives by reading the newspaper and the internet.

Hello, I'm Edward Cullen; I'm 20 years old and attend Seattle University.

Hello I'm Edward Cullen and I'm all alone and I hate it.

Hello I'm Edward Cullen and every day I hide my body with long sleeves and jeans.

Hello I'm Edward Anthony Masen Cullen and I self harm.