Preemptive A/N: I know this chapter is rather out of the tone of this fic, I just want to give it an ending; and I'm doing the best I can to keep it in keeping with the rest of the story and its overall nonsense. Hope you guys enjoy, regardless. Also, despite the nonsense in the skit at the end, Solvdrage is very much alive and well, and his input in this chapter is very valued by me. I just wanted to keep a continuity within the skit.

Chapter 7

Karin looked at the two shinobi before her. Taking a calculated risk, and guessing Naruto was the bigger threat to her, she focused her mind-reading ability on him. All she could read was still that weird question about dodging! "What is his obsession with that?!" she thought to herself.

Hinata noticed in an instant that Karin was focused on Naruto, so she knew there was no way the redhead could read her mind just now. She knew this was her chance, and she took it. Rushing in, Hinata got inside Karin's guard and clamped down on her arm in a rather rough bite.

Karin was overcome with a feeling of extreme gratification. Almost immediately, as Hinata briefly sucked her chakra, an orgasm began to sweep through her. As Hinata released the bite, Karin fell onto her back, moaning. As her orgasm fully swept her away, Karin let out a scream...and burst into coins.

Naruto, having seen all this, was a bit baffled. "Well...that happened," he said simply. Hinata blushed a bit, then the two gathered up the coins Karin had left behind. Naruto kissed Hinata softly, then said, "We should probably get out of here."

Hinata smiled, and the two left. Naruto walked Hinata home, then went home himself. As he fell into bed and sleep, Naruto's last thought was, "Why did that kill her?"

The Next Day

Naruto awoke from dreams of Hinata. His first thought was to call Hinata up and see what she was doing, but when he tried, he got no answer. Kankuro came in just then and asked what was up. Naruto explained what had happened, and Kankuro picked up the Bingo Book of Hinata's exes. "You're down to, what, three now then?" Kankuro asked.

Naruto looked over the book. "I guess so. Gaara, Lee, and Sasuke. I would swear there was another guy in there, but I can never seem to remember anything about him," he said. Kankuro shrugged.

"So, if she isn't answering your calls, what are you going to do?" Kankuro asked after a moment.

Naruto tried to laugh, but he couldn't quite do it. "I'm not sure. I'm kind of worried, to be honest. I know it shouldn't be that big of a deal, but it's bugging me."

Kankuro thought about this, then said, "Trust your gut, that's all you can really do."

Naruto nodded and said, "Yeah. You're right. I'm gonna go talk to the others, see if they've heard anything."

Kankuro nodded, and Naruto left. Within minutes, Naruto arrived at Shikamaru's apartment. Upon entering, Naruto found Honorable Kono, Shikamaru, and Temari practicing. He had to admit, if only to himself, that the band sounded far better than it ever had with him in it.

Shikamaru sighed. "You're so troublesome. Did you forget we're playing for the opening of Sasuke's new theater tonight?"

"Oh, you mean the Sharingan Lounge?" Naruto asked. "I heard it was opening, I didn't know the band was playing it."

Temari sighed. "Yes, you did. We told you."

Naruto humphed. "Well, whatever. Have you two heard from Gaara? Any idea where he is?"

"Um...actually, yes. He's guarding the entrance of the theater," Temari said.

Naruto looked a bit surprised at this. "Lee, too?" he asked. Temari nodded. "That's...odd. Why would Sasuke do that?"

"Oh, I don't know," Shikamaru said. "Maybe because he knows he'll need guards since he has Hinata?"

Naruto looked at Shikamaru in shock. "WHAT?!"

Shikamaru put up his hands. "I'm guessing. I don't know if that's the case or not, you idiot!"

Naruto took a breath. "You're probably right, though. Well, fuck this. I'm off!"

That said, Naruto burst out of the apartment. He tore through the village until he found the Sharingan Lounge. Sure enough, just as Temari had said, a redheaded boy and another with the worst bowl cut ever were standing guard outside the door. Naruto approached.

The boy with the bowl cut said, "Password?"

Naruto couldn't take it. He snapped. He let off a punch to this boy and one to the other, both of whom burst into coins instantly. "Well, that verifies that," he said to himself, entering the building as he did.

Looking around the huge room he found himself in, Naruto saw a set of huge staircases set in a pyramid shape in the center of the room. At the top of this rather ostentatious display was...Sasuke...and Hinata! Hinata was clearly under the control of Sasuke's genjutsu. Her zombie-like motions told Naruto this. "SASUKE!" Naruto yelled out.

Sasuke looked down at Naruto. "Well, hello, Naruto," he said simply. "What can I do for you?"

Naruto snarled. "You can let her go, that's what," he said back.

Sasuke snorted. "You want to fight me, for her, is that it?" he asked.

Naruto glared. "Was that not clear from me being here?"

Sasuke snickered. "Why in the world would you want to do that?"

Naruto took a deep breath. "Because I'm in love with her!" he said.

A deep, booming voice broke out. "NARUTO EARNED THE POWER OF LOVE!" it said. Naruto went down on all fours, a red chakra cloak springing forth around him. Sasuke looked at him...and grinned. Naruto burst forward.

Sasuke and Naruto met, claws striking Sasuke's sword, over and over. Nothing was being accomplished. Sasuke kept Naruto in close once...and that was all it took. Naruto looked into Sasuke's eyes, and the Sharingan took over. Naruto was in a genjutsu that gave Sasuke control over both Naruto and the fox-like cloak of chakra.

Just then, a scream was heard. Sakura burst out from nowhere and kicked Sasuke in the face. "You don't get to kill him!" she yelled. "If anyone's going to kill Naruto, it's me!"

Naruto was still in his stupor. Sakura and Sasuke fought for all of three seconds, leaving Sakura slashed open across the stomach, likely to bleed out. Then Sasuke moved again, plunging his sword deep into Naruto's chest, piercing his heart. Naruto was dead.

Naruto regained some level of awareness. He was...alone. He knew in a second he was dead. "Damn it, Hinata!" he yelled out. "Why couldn't I save you?! I did the best I could for you!"

Hinata's voice came from nowhere and everywhere. "Maybe I'm not who you should be fighting for!" she said.

Naruto let that sink in. "You know...she's right," he thought. "I guess I learned something. Which would be great if I wasn't dead."

Then something happened he never would have expected. That green mushroom from the pizza a few days before sprang out of his hand. Looking at it, he decided to take a leap of logic. Picking it up, Naruto ate it.

Suddenly, Naruto was back in the theater, Sasuke was back on top of the pyramid of stairs. "Well, I guess that was a 1-up mushroom," Naruto thought. Moving forward, he yelled out again, "SASUKE!"

Sasuke stepped up, as he did the first time. "You really want to fight me, for her?" Sasuke asked.

Naruto snorted. "Nah, I want to fight you for me!" Naruto said back.

The same voice as before broke out of nowhere. "NARUTO EARNED THE POWER OF SELF-RESPECT!" it said this time.

Naruto gasped at the huge power boost he felt in that moment. He had no idea of this, but at that moment his eyes turned into frog eyes with orange rings around them. He was in Sage Mode!

Sasuke glared at Naruto. Then the two moved. Naruto came at Sasuke hard with a pair of Rasengan in his hands. Sasuke deflected both and tried to stab Naruto, who dodged the attack easily. His new mode made him scarily aware of every detail of the battlefield.

Sasuke tried all of his attacks, and Naruto rebuffed every single one with seemingly no trouble. Sasuke snarled and decided to go for broke. He built up a huge amount of lightning chakra in his hand and charged at Naruto.

Naruto rolled his eyes. He created a Rasengan and added some wind chakra to it. He charged at Sasuke. The two jutsu came together and clashed for a moment, then Naruto's wind chakra canceled out Sasuke's lightning jutsu, burrowed into Sasuke's arm, through his chest, and then exploded, causing Sasuke himself to explode into a mountain of coins. Naruto smiled. It was done.

Suddenly, he heard Sasuke's voice. "Sure, you can beat me, Naruto, but can you beat yourself?" it said.

Naruto saw an image of a dark version of himself as it said this. "Oh, him? Already took care of him," he said simply, then walked up to Hinata.

Hinata was slowly coming out of her trance. "Oh, Naruto!" she said. "I'm so glad to see you."

Naruto smiled. "I'm glad you're yourself again," he said.

Hinata sighed. "I should probably leave, huh?" she asked. Naruto looked at her in surprise. "I'm tired of people getting hurt because of me," Hinata explained. "I should just get away from all this and start over."

Naruto shook his head. "No, you should stay here, with me," he said. "I'm sure everyone will come to love you as I do, and you'll be perfectly welcome here."

Hinata smiled and wrapped Naruto in a hug. Their trying ordeal was over, and their love was strong. Their future was bright, indeed.

HGF: And that's it. This story is over.

Shino: You never gave me a fight!

HGF: Remind me who exactly you are again?

Shino: GAH! (bursts into coins)

HGF: Hey, free cash. No idea where it came from, but whatever. Yeah, with Solvdrage gone, and NaruHina being so crazy here, I had to just give this an ending, and I hope this one satisfies everyone. This was a fun story to write, and I hope you all had fun reading it. Sorry for the super-long wait for this final chapter.