((Got into Hetalia awhile back, got into Hetalia RP awhile back, and this guy was formed. Caoimhin Kirkland-O Donaill is my OC of Northern Ireland. I love him to bits, he's definitely one of my favorite characters. He's grown a lot, and I'm going to write a sequel for this soon. I wrote this awhile back, hope you enjoy~

Arthur: England/Britain

Blar: My OC of Scotland

Wales: Wales, sort of an obvious one. XD Caoimhin can't pronounce Wales's human name, so he sort of fudges it and avoids saying it~

Aedan: My sulfuring twin's OC of Ireland (Ciddles, you are the greatest person ever for making Aedan, and thereby letting me making Caoimhin~ 3 This is dedicated to you, since you're the one who basically got all of this set up for me. XD You basically gave me Aedan's personality, which shaped this entire thing, so...~ )

Alright, end Author's Note, enjoy! ))

I'm not one to linger on the past. Not really. It's too much of a hassle, and I like to keep my mind as clear as possible. But I keep thinking back on all of this shite, and truly, it's a pain to think about all day.

TV and other places always say "Write it down, that will definitely help! Don't ask how, but it will!"

Seeing as the other option I think could work would be physically talking about it, writing all of it down is the better choice. Maybe I'll burn this afterward.

I apologize in advance if this skips and jumps around. Since this is just for me, I'm not going to worry about how I should make it best for others, and I'm going to try and not erase anything. If I send this to a psychologist like Wales suggested, they will want any subconscious message and I shouldn't erase anything. Which I, personally, think is a load of shite, and I don't know why I'm going to follow his advice, but... No one's even going to read this, so it shouldn't matter. Although Aedan-

Well, let's stop that line of thought there, shall we? I'm not quite ready to delve into his part of this mess.

Let's start with just talking about my brothers.

Wales, he has always been kind to me, I adore him. He rarely has a mean thing to say, and if he does it's just towards one of my siblings and it's not like they can't handle it. The others call him spineless, and he probably is, but I think he could be pretty damn fierce if he wanted to. All of my brothers are pretty old. They've all had their share of bad experiences. It's not an entirely impossible concept that Wales could become as strong-headed and bitter as the others are.

Next up is Arthur, I guess. He's rough on the outside and can be pretty difficult to get along with if you don't know him well. Even then, it's hard to become his friend. He has a short temper, and it's gotten him into trouble more than once. He would be much better off if he wasn't so prideful. Or if he paid attention to others more, I remember I hated him for awhile because he would ignore me. And if he would try to be a better leader for the UK instead of ignoring us and only paying attention to our countries, that would help him-

But that's getting a bit too personal too soon. Let's continue.

Blar's up next. I don't know him too well, even if our countries interact a lot. He's rarely at the combined home for the UK, and when he is, he doesn't talk to any of us. Independence is on his mind, I'm sure. I don't think he even knows I exist, but I'm not sure if that's as bad of a thing as it sounds. I've heard some stories about him, and I know there aren't many people who are... Fond of him. Then again, that isn't a good judge of anything, seeing as Aedan-

Again, I'm not quite ready for that discussion. I'm talking about Blar right now.

Blar has a pretty bad reputation, and I'm not too keen on finding out how many rumours are true. I'm touch-and-go on how I feel about ignorance, but this is one time when I wouldn't mind not knowing. From what few things I've learned about him, I know he's an arse, probably arrogant, and probably a bit mad. Although now that I think about it a bit more, I remember that he does know who I am. Probably only so he could fuck around with the others a bit, but he was being a bit friendly with me. It was pretty decent of him, I shouldn't have been so standoffish. I'll apologize next time I see him.

I suppose I've put this to the side long enough. Aedan's up next.

Aedan... Where to begin? If I adore Wales, I'm head over heels for this man. If I am having a bad day, he says one thing and it makes me feel grand. He pays attention to me, makes me smile, and is just the sweetest man you'd ever have the pleasure of meeting. When he was drunk, he sang to me. I hadn't ever seen him drunk before then, it was really something. I keep hoping that I can get him sloshed and coax him into singing again, because he said he wouldn't sing ever again when I mentioned it to him when he was sober. Which would suck, because he has a grand voice.

Aedan isn't seen by others as the nicest bloke. A lot of people think badly of him, and I'd be lying if I said that didn't bother me. I don't understand why they don't see the amazing older brother I do. I don't understand why Arthur hates him. I don't understand why people say he's an arse.

I think they're jealous. Eejits.

But I can't really complain, I guess that means more of Aedan's time for me. If other people don't care for his company, I'll take it.

I probably sound a bit obsessive, don't I? I'm sure if people were to realize this, I'd be thought of as the protective brother, not Aedan.

That's another reason I'm not in much of a hurry to find out more about Blar. He caused problems between me and Aedan not too long ago, making Aedan think that he had to give me back to Arthur because he was too protective.

There aren't many times where I am angry at Aedan, but when he told me I had to leave...

I'll just say that I wasn't pleased in the least.

He was trying to do it for me, though. And I was pleased about that, to my shame. I mean, he was getting rid of me and at first I thought it was because he was tired of me, but he was doing it for me. I was flattered.

Wow, how fucked up is that? I was flattered by being shoved away. Pretty damn pathetic on my part, but oh well.

I'm not even at the point of this writing-thing, and I'm already getting tired of it.

Long story short: Even though at first I had been unsure, I'm beyond ecstatic to be part of Ireland again and out of the UK. The only thing I'm a bit worried about now is of me disappearing. I mean, we're Ireland now. North Ireland is Ireland now. So why am I still around?

These fucking nation things confuse me way too much. I hate being so much younger than everyone else. I feel stupid and ignorant and insignificant and-

I'm moving on now, I don't want to talk about my inner insecurities, makes me feel like a human teenage girl that wants all of her friends to pity her. Yawn.

I should probably move on before I run out of paper. Or before I run out of Guinness.

I bet there was a collective shock there: Caoimhin's drinking Guinness while writing this?

Yes, yes I am. No way I would be this open with things like this if I wasn't slightly tipsy.

Continuing on (because my jar is quickly emptying), let's start from the beginning.

The first thing I remember is waking up in Aedan's house. I don't know how old I was physically then. Younger than I am now, but old enough to understand when someone spoke to me.

I bet you didn't think this was going to be the story of my life. You thought it was going to be some memoir of something that happened, or a heartfelt confession, or something.

Anyway, I was pretty damn confused. I didn't have an identity, I didn't know where I was, and everything just seemed strange.

I was a nosy little bugger, I remember. The first thing I did was tear through the books in the room, humming without a care in the world. I could read, strangely enough. Now that I look back on it, I could do a lot of things. None of them were really taught to me.

Maybe it's because I was part of Ireland and Aedan already knew everything. Hell if I know...

I remember Aedan's reaction when he saw me. He wasn't confused for a second, he knew who I was right away. And fuck, he was pissed.

With all of the religious shite going on, no one could blame him. I was the realization that part of his people were leaving him. Maybe not yet, but with me being created, it was only a matter of time.

He stared at me for awhile, anger in his eyes, before just walking out. He just walked away, without a word.

Damn, rejection like that hurts. I didn't know who he was, but it hurt. There was a connection I felt, and I recognized him somewhat, and he just walked away.

I never blamed him, you know. For not being warm and accepting of me then. He had every right to be hostile. It hurt, but he handled it well, I think.

I stayed in the house all day, too confused and afraid to try and leave, or to even talk to him. I explored a bit, saw some magic around the place, and got a feel for everything.

By supper, though, I was hungry.

The only thing I can think of now is thank the Lord I hadn't first existed outside, because I couldn't even find food in the house. I searched every nook and cranny I could fit into and never found a crumb.

I was a sad little child. I mean, really, I couldn't find food? In a house? Wow.
Eventually I gave up and wandered around again, hoping to come across something.

And lo and behold, I smelled something wonderful coming from the dining room.

I peeked in from behind the doorway, hesitant when I saw the big, red-haired man sitting at the head of the table all alone.

He raised an eyebrow in my direction and gestured towards the chair across from him.

"Are you going to stand there and oogle at me all day, or are you going to sit down and eat? You don't want it cold, aye?"

I don't know how I looked then. Maybe surprised for a second. I remember I smiled widely and chirped something like, "Aye!", I honestly can't remember.

Aedan looked caught off guard, I don't really know why, as I sat down, his eyebrows meeting his hairline as he stared at me eat. I was too hungry and happy to care at the time.

"Slow down, it's not going to run off..."

I smiled at him again, saying some sort of childish response, before eating more, a bit slower. I grabbed the mug next to my plate and almost gulped all of the black stuff down in one swallow. I think Aedan laughed at that, but I don't remember.

I wonder if I'd remember more of this clearer if I put the Guinness away.

Aedan didn't magically warm up to me after that dinner. He showed me to an extra room, not making much conversation, and that was it for a few weeks. I'd entertain myself during the day, sit with him for dinner, and go to bed. I sometimes talked to him about the creatures I saw and talked to, and he would listen with a...neutral air around him, I guess. He seemed a little amused most of the time.

I don't think he really started to not-dislike me until he took me to meet his banshee.

I think he dragged me along because she was asking about me. His banshee's curious even now, so that's not too surprising that she wanted to see if I was a friend or enemy of her "charge".

I was speechless when I first saw her. She was indescribable. If I were to try and describe how she looked, I wouldn't be able to be accurate.

She had looked at me with her head tilted to the side, and I could only stare.

She knelt down next to me, holding a hand up to my face, and I swear I couldn't breathe.
I nearly screamed when she picked me up. I was really surprised, I mean, no physical affection up until then, it scared the shite out of me. I clutched my arms around her neck and I'm certain I threw Aedan a few panicked glances.

But all she did was hold me and kiss the top of my head, silent the entire time. For awhile, that was all that we did. I eventually relaxed into her grip.

I think I fell asleep, because the next thing I remember is being jostled as our banshee placed me in Aedan's arms, smiling as tears trailed down her face.

I tensed, hesitantly looking up at Aedan, who was appearing conflicted. He said something to our banshee, who just continued to smile and cry.

Aedan's grip tightened on me and he looked down at me, a strange look on his face. He started walking away, looking straight ahead. I don't think I looked away from him once.

He fascinated me. I wanted to learn more about him. And between you and me, paper and pen, I still have the same fascination to this day.

When we got back to the house, he put me down, kneeling next to me.

"You..." He pointed at me for a second before rubbing his face with a hand, a frustrated sigh escaping him.

I reached up and pressed against the sides of his mouth, gently pushing them into a mockery of a smile.

"You've never smiled at me." I spoke softly, frowning. "You should. I'm trying not to make you angry, but I'm messing up, I think, because you never smile at me."

He blinked, a slightly shocked appearance coming over him. I waited expectantly, hoping for an answer.

He pushed my hands away, laughing a bit.

"You're not messing up. I'm just being an eejit." And he smiled, kissing my forehead. "Caoimhin. Caoimhin's your name now. I think it fits, what do you think?"

I stared. "Caoimhin...?" My mouth stumbled over the foreign word.

"Aye, Caoimhin."

I thought for a minute before I smiled up at him and nodded. "I like it."

I think I'm done for now. I can't write anymore.

((And there we have it! End part one of Caoimhin's story. Part two should be up soon-ish, maybe once school's out~))