Yukari woke up from her nap, with the distinct smell of smoke in the air. She rubbed the sleep from her eyes, feeling that this evening was going to be very annoying. She could hear Ran yelling at Chen outside her door. Something about soup and explosions… Sighing in irritation, Yukari teleported next to them and asked what happened.

Ran reported, "Chen destroyed the kitchen, Miss Yukari."

Yukari's face remained blank, but it was clear she was angry.

"So why didn't you stop her, Ran?"

Ran backed away, fearing another beating.

"W-Well, I was busy cleaning the garden, and I thought…"

Yukari chuckled.

"Well, there's the problem. You thought Chen could handle doing anything. Hasn't she proven over the centuries that she can't accomplish even the simplest tasks?"

Chen looked somewhat indignant at this, but said nothing.

"Clearly, I need someone to watch her while you work, Ran. I know just who to get, so you watch her while I'm gone. That's all you will do, understood?"

Ran bowed.

"Yes, Miss Yukari."

Yukari disappeared into one of her gaps, leaving the two shikigami alone.


Yukari walked down the empty streets, looking for the house she knew was there. At least, it was there a few years ago… She eventually found someone standing in a parking lot.

"Excuse me, but I'm looking for a girl called Sarah Smith. You wouldn't know where she is, would you?"

The man was shocked by her appearance, but quickly answered.

"I remember her. I'm afraid no one knows where she is now. She used to live across the street, but they tore down her house when she left and put up a Starbucks."

Mentally cursing Starbucks and coffee in general, Yukari thanked the man and walked over to the coffee store. After checking inside to see if anyone was there, Yukari snapped her fingers, summoning a huge gap. Hands reached out of it and tore the Starbucks out of the ground, foundation and all. The Starbucks disappeared into the gap, which closed behind it.

Yukari sighed.

"Well, now that that's done, I suppose I'll have to look for someone else."


Ran walked into the abandoned village, looking for Chen. Cats were everywhere, which only made Chen harder to find. Ran never understood why Chen always ran off to this village. Once, Chen tried to make the cats here her subordinates, but all she got for her efforts was several new bite marks.

"So why does she keep coming back?" Ran muttered.

Chen's laugh echoed through the village, along with the growling of hundreds of cats. Ran quickly found her on top of a building, with a enormous bag of food.

Ran called up,

"What are you doing, Chen?"

She yelled back,

"I'm feeding the cats, Ran-sama!"

"Yes, I can see that. But wouldn't it be easier to give it to them on the ground? Even better, you could just leave on the ground and leave. Where did you get the food from, anyway?"Chen looked guilty. "You stole it from the kitchen, didn't you? At least now I know how it was destroyed- You weren't paying attention while you were cooking… Why are you feeding all of that food to these cats? That's our dinner for the next week!"

Chen fidgeted and said,

"I thought that if fed them, they'll like me, and then they'll start listening to my orders."

Ran sighed.

"That may work in some cases, but the best way to obtain followers is to establish the chain of command."Ran stamped her foot, and the cats glared at her hungrily. They stared at each other for a moment, but the cats quickly realized they were outmatched. They slunk away, and Chen climbed down the building. Ran smiled. "Do you see the problem, Chen? You can't make anyone serve you if they think of you as a plaything. Now, let's go home. I'm sure Miss Yukari is waiting for us."


Miss Yukari wasn't waiting for them. In fact, she was at the Moriya Shrine, talking to Kanako.

"So you're looking for a new shikigami? Why are you asking me about this?"

Yukari smiled mischievously.

"Well, you came to Gensokyo recently, so I figured you might know someone in the outside world who would suit my needs."

Kanako considered this.

"I might know someone, but why from the outside world? What's wrong with the people here?"

Yukari frowned in exasperation.

"Well, most humans fear me because I'm a youkai, other youkai wouldn't be interested, Reimu wouldn't accept, Suika is always drunk, and Yuyuko is too careless. Unless you know someone, I have no idea where to look."

"I know three people who would make a good shikigami. Their families might be an issue, but I'm certain a least one of them will agree to serve you."

Yukari stood and opened one of her gaps.

"Good. I'll be leaving then."

Kanako flew in front of her, blocking her exit.

"You can leave now, Yukari, but I expect you to repay me for my help."

Yukari simply smiled and left.