Meloetta's Stupid Shopping
Yoshizilla-Rhedosaurus: Yeah, you can totally blame /vp/ for this one, ladies and gentlemen. Why? Because they have no style, they have no grace, and some think they have a funny face. Just lie me. Heh heh heh.
Aria Meloetta was hanging out on DK Island with fellow Kongs Lanky and Chunky, with both of them having collected enough different colored fruit to last a lifetime. The three were watching random commercials as Meloetta's stomach growled.
"Getting hungry again." Meloetta commented as she rubbed her grumbling gut with her left paddle shaped hand. "I need to do some shopping."
"Shopping, huh?" Lanky Kong remarked as he was fixing up his blue overalls. "What kind of shopping?"
"Grocery shopping, duh!" Chunky Kong exclaimed as he was trying to jump high, but failed, though at least he still remained one hell of a guy.
"That reminds me of the time I did some crazy shopping in this one store..." Meloetta stated as she rolled her right hand around, allowing a cutaway gag to fill in the place in the form of a flashback.
...which in turn leads to the actual story of upon which this flashback was based on.
Aria Meloetta was shopping for icing at the nearby department store because she was in dire need of it. Her stomach told her to go get some, and when Meloetta tried arguing back, her stomach growled so angrily it caused Meloetta to go with it.
So Meloetta went shopping. She stopped when she bumped into Abomasnow, who was also shopping.
"What are you doing here so early?" Meloetta asked as she rubbed the back of her neck.
Abomasnow scoffed as he poked Meloetta in the face. "I'm getting some flour so that my kbody can stay nice and white." He pointed at his right nipple, showing how pale is was. "I don't want these babies to start turning yellow on me."
Meloetta's eyes twitched as she noticed the nipple. "Ehehehe... yikes." Whistling innocently, Meloetta moved past Abomasnow as fast as she could, waving goodbye as she sighed to herself. "Yuck, I didn't need to see THAT."
As Meloetta pulled in front of the icing section, she pulled out her wallet to check out how money she had on her. Suddenly, all of the cartons of icing began shaking violently, seemingly coming to live. Meloetta gasped as the icing all stared at her, feeling a little... horny.
"...This can't be good..." Meloetta mumbled as she gulped, her eyes widening as her arms began shaking.
The cartons of icing all started moaning in unison as they jumped off the aisle, all of them piling on Meloetta. Meloetta screamed as she pushed them off using Psychic, rushing away with her empty cart. The cartons of icing all groaned as they suddenly chased after Meloetta, being surprisingly fast. How could this be possible, you ask?"
"This is Pokemon, I ain't gotta explain shit!" Meloetta screamed as she slipped on a banana peel, landing on her big butt as the cartons of icing piled onto each other, heading towards her like a huge tidal wave. Meloetta exclaimed in shock as she hid under her empty cart, being totaled by the wave of icing. Meloetta popped her head out, panting as she looked around. She watched the other Gen 5 Pokemon shopping running for their lives, as well as the workers rushing out. Abomasnow was blasting the cartons of icing back with Ice Punches and Vine Whips, but the cartons continued striking back, slowly engulfing him down.
"Abomasnow!" Meloetta gasped in horror as she placed her hands on her face, shaking her head in disbelief. This can't be happenin- OH!"
She was grabbed by the lid of one of the cartons, the icing being of buttercream flavor, as Meloetta was pulled down. The cartons opened their lids and poured their different flavors of icing all over Meloetta. Meloetta screamed, then remembered that she was shopping for icing. Meloetta's stomach growing gave Meloetta the determination she needed, as she used Round, causing the icing to be blown back. Meloetta then sucked in all the icing into her mouth, belching loudly as she patted her stomach, with growled with glee. The cartons of icing moaned as they slowly approached Meloetta, who kicked ass, took names, and ate icing as she kicked the crap out of the cartons, grabbing all of the scrumptious icing she could inside and drinking it down as she tossed the empty carton to the side.
Abomasnow pulled himself out after performing a Hammer Arm, shaking the entire department store as the cartons of icing on him all fell lifeless on the floor. Abomasnow watched as Meloetta struck the cartons, eating up the icing as she used her psychic to push the cartons towards her, opening their lids and causing them to fall on the ground. Noticing Meloetta's slightly pudgy stomach, Abomasnow was in shock as Meloetta accidentally blasted him out of the department store with psychic, causing all the cartons to break through the windows as the cartons stopped moving.
Panting frantically, Meloetta looked around, to see the cartons stopped in motion. Giggling, and then laughing in victory, Meloetta cheered as she pumped her fists in the air. She gasped as she fell to her knees, rubbing her pudgy stomach as she groaned, having eaten a bit too much icing. Letting out a squeaky, trumpet like belch and a deep, tuba like fart, the latter knocking her on her butt, Meloetta patted her full stomach as she sighed, closing her eyes as she felt the nice breeze. She sighed as she was glad that the nightmare that occurred was over.
...Or was it?
"Ma'am, I'm placing you under arrest," Stated a Durant police officer as he cuffed Meloetta, forcing her to stand up.
Meloetta gulped as she was caught by surprise, trying to reply, "But... but... the cartons of icing! They were attacking me!"
"Shaddap," A Heatmor police officer stated as he slapped Meloetta across the face, helping his partner toss her into the back of the police car. "You can tell it to the judge. Cartons of icing attacking... ha!"
With both police officers going into the front of the police car, they drove off with a shocked Meloetta in the back as the car left the devastated department store. Abomasnow groaned weakly as he rubbed the back of his head, wondering what just happened. He turned around, gawking as the wounded cartons slowly groaned, getting back up and all facing Abomasnow.
Abomasnow dropped his arms by the side as he had a bad feeling about this. "Awww crap..."