Chapter Title: First Month

One month later, the three eldest turtles were in the kitchen, eating breakfast.

"Where's Mikey?" asked Leonardo, annoyed that Michelangelo wasn't there.

"Knowing him, he probably stayed up all night playing video games and/or watching television." Donatello said.

"Well he'd better be awake before morning practice," Leo said.

"Leo, we might've missed breakfast once or twice before, but we don't miss practice," Raphael said.

The eldest turtles ate their breakfast and walked over to the dojo where Master Splinter was. Five minutes later, Mikey came into the dojo.

"Master Splinter?" asked Mikey.

"Yes my son?" asked the TMNT's Sensei.

"Can I skip morning practice today? I'm not feeling so well…" Mikey said. Don got worried and walked over to Mikey and felt his head.
"You don't have a fever," Don said.

"Yeah, but I feel nauseas," Mikey complained. "When I walked into the kitchen this morning and smelled what was in there, it made me sick."

"You mean my coffee?" Don asked.

"Yeah," Mikey said.

"Perhaps some tea will help you feel better," Splinter suggested.

"N-no thanks, I'll just rest up and by the time we have to go on patrol, I'll be feeling better," Mikey said.

"I know you do not like tea, Michelangelo, but it will help you feel better." Splinter said. Mikey mumbled something under his breath so low that not even Splinter could hear. "What did you say, my son?"

"Nothing," Mikey lied.

"You said something," Leo said.

"Yeah, tell us what you said," Raph said.

"I'll tell you later," Mikey said. "Right now I just feel really tired."

"Did you stay up all night playing your stupid video games?" asked Don.

"They're not stupid, and no, I didn't stay up all night. I went to bed at 10 last night, and I woke up and 9 this morning just in time for practice," said Mikey.

"If you're tellin' the truth, then why are you so tired if you got more than ten hours of sleep?" asked Raph.

"Haven't you ever still felt tired after getting more than ten hours of sleep?" asked Mikey.

"Well, I don't remember the last time I got more than ten hours of sleep," admitted Don.

"Me neither," said Raph.

"I don't remember getting more than ten hours either," Leo admitted.

"Well, then you wouldn't know how I feel." Mikey said. "I'm going to bed now, see ya later."

"Can we begin practice now, Master Splinter?" asked Leo.

"Yes my son, and after practice I will get Michelangelo some tea to help settle his stomach," Splinter said.

When it was time for patrol, Mikey was feeling slightly better, so he decided to tag along. He felt tired, but not too tired. When they went topside and on a roof, they saw nothing interesting was happening, so they decided to play tag.

The TMNT were having fun, that is, until Agent Bishop came. He and his workers came with their guns made from alien technology.

"Capture the one of the turtles and take them to my laboratory," Bishop commanded. His workers nodded and the fighting began. All the turtles finally got knocked unconscious, and even though Bishop knew he could take all of them, he was stupid and only took Michelangelo for some reason, even though he knew his older brothers would be mad when they figured out that Bishop had taken their brother. In fact, Bishop was so stupid that he didn't even notice Mikey's Shell Cel and took him to the laboratory and tied him up. Usually Bishop was smarter and checked for any tracking devices on his subjects that he kidnapped, but today was different. After John Bishop finished tying up Michelangelo, he started waking up.

"Where the Shell am I?" asked Mikey.

Bishop ignored Mikey and smiled evilly. "Ah, Michelangelo, it is nice to see that you are awake." Mikey blinked twice in confusion.

"How is it nice to see that I'm awake if you hate my stinking guts?" Mikey asked. Bishop growled.

"That's what all bad guys say when their subjects awaken," Bishop said. Then he growled as he realized he was being stupid. "Crap! I forgot to scan your body to see if you have any tracking devices on you…"

"Wow, I've never heard YOU say 'crap' Bishop," said Mikey incredulously. Bishop ignored Mikey and scanned his body over.

"Oh no! I forgot you had a Shell Cel, as you call it, on you! Your brothers could be tracking you down this very moment!" Bishop said in agony. He still didn't make any move to take the Shell Cel though.

"Well, aren't you going to destroy it?" asked Mikey.

"What's the point in destroying it if it's already too late to do it?" Bishop asked. Then he lightened up a little. "I'm going to give you an x-ray to study your body."

"Why didn't you do that a long time ago instead of trying to dissect me?" asked Mikey.

"The thought slipped my mind," said Bishop. He started scanning Mikey's body, when he saw something that seemed impossible.

"What?" asked Mikey.

"It seems as if you have three other life forms inside of you," Bishop said.

"Wait, you mean I'm PREGNANT!" Mikey exclaimed.

"Yes, see for yourself," Bishop said as he put the scan in Mikey's face.

"How do I know this isn't somebody else's body?" Mikey asked.

"I might have misplaced your scan with somebody else's…" Bishop said. "Have you felt any strange symptoms lately?"

"I've been feeling a little nausea and getting sick in the morning lately, but today I felt really tired and I've been urinating more frequently…" Mikey stopped himself. "Wait, why are we talking like we're best buds when we're not?"

"How should I know?" Bishop snorted. "There's one thing I DO know though, you're definitely pregnant."

"Men can't get pregnant," Mikey said.

"Well, you're not a regular human. Have you had any 'fun' lately?" asked Bishop.

"Well, about a month ago…" Mikey stopped himself again. "Why am I still talking to you?"

"As I said before, how should I know?" Bishop asked. "Anyway, who did you do 'it' with?"

"This girl named Cara, she's from a different planet named Planet Boring, everything there is boring, black, white and grey. She can transform into anything though, so right now she looks like a regular human and…" Mikey saw Bishop's face get mad when he mentioned that Cara was an alien. "…I shouldn't have said that."

"Looks like my workers and I have some alien hunting to do," said John Bishop. "Guards, get rid of Michelangelo, he's of no need to me anymore." His guards untied Mikey and threw him out the window where his brothers where.

"Mikey, are you okay?" asked Leo.

"Yeah, I'm fine." Mikey said truthfully.

"How did you get out?" asked Don.

"Well, Bishop threw me out." Mikey said.

"Why the shell would Bishop just throw Mikey out the door?" asked Raph.

"I might've mentioned Cara to him," Mikey said, wincing as he saw his brothers' angry stares.

"Why the *insert curse here* did you do that for?" asked Raph.

"It was an accident," Mikey said.

"Maybe we should let her live with us for a while until Bishop gives up on the search," Don said.

"No way, I just got my room back!" Raph said. He sighed when he saw his brothers glaring at him. "Fine, but Mikey, you owe me big time."

"Yippee!" Mikey said.

The turtles walked inside of Cara's house. They didn't see her anywhere, but then they heard her in the bathroom. Mikey, being the idiot he was, opened the door where Cara was standing in the bathtub totally naked. The Leo and Don, being gentlemen, covered their eyes and apologized a billion times as they walked away. Raph and Mikey weren't bothered at all. Mikey had seen her naked before, and Raph had seen billions of naked women in magazines and a few in real life; this one was no different. Cara, however, did mind, and covered herself in a towel and demanded that the two younger turtles walk away while she got dressed. Mikey and Raph reluctantly agreed.

When Cara finally got dressed, she stomped over to where the turtles where.

"Why did you open the door while I was in the shower?" she asked, tapping her foot impatiently.

"It was Mikey," his older brothers pointed fingers at him. Cara smirked.

"Did you guys realize that when you point, you hold up your middle finger?" she asked.

"We don't have a middle finger," Don said.

"Yes you do, your finger that you point with is in between your thumb and your pinky, and therefore, it is your middle finger." Cara said.

"Wow, I never thought of it that way," said Raph.

"Me either," said Don.

"Anyway, why did you come here?" asked Cara.

"Well, Agent Bishop is looking for you, because Michelangelo here told him about you," Leo said.

"John Bishop? You mean that guy who's always on the lookout for aliens?" she asked, shivering.

"Yeah, he and his men are looking for you." Said Don.

"That's horrible!" she said. "What should I do?"

"You should come to the lair and live with us," said Leo.

"Oh, I would love to, but my boss said I'm such a good worker that he's sending me on a trip to Hawaii for two months." She said. Then she remembered Michelangelo. "So," she said, turning towards him. "How are you feeling?"

"Um, okay I guess." He said.

"He's been feeling a bit nausea lately, but it's probably just a cold," Don said.

"I thought he would have sinus problems if he had a cold," said Cara.

"Well, there's no other thing I can think of that he has," Don said. Cara smiled a creepy smile.

"What's with the creepy smile?" asked Raph.
"I didn't smile creepy," said Cara.

"Yes you did," Raph argued.

"Did not," Cara said.

"Did too," Raph said.

Leo ignored Raph and asked, "So when exactly are you supposed to be going on this little vacation of yours?"

"I'm supposed to leave at four," Cara said.

"It's three fifty nine," Don said, checking a watch on his wrist that he didn't even know was there.

"Oh my gosh, I have to go!" Cara said as she packed her things in ten seconds like they did in cartoons and ran out the door.

"Since when do pizza places give their workers vacations to Hawaii?" asked Don.

"Don't know, don't care, if Bishop kidnaps her, we kill him, take her to the lair, let her stay for a while, and live happily ever after," Raph said, taking a deep breath because of his long run on sentence.

"Yeah, except for one thing," Mikey said.

"What?" asked his brothers.

"Bishop told me this was inside my body," Mikey said, taking out the x-ray scan he didn't even know he had taken out from behind him. Don snatched the paper out of Mikey's hand and squinted hard.

"I see…three babies," Don said. Raph snatched it out Don's hands and looked.

"I only see one," said Raph. Leo snatched it out of Raph's hand and looked.

"I see two," Leo said.

"Well, it's kinda hard to tell," said Don.

"How could you even be pregnant if you've never had sex?" asked Leo, not noticing Mikey's guilty look.

"Men can't even get pregnant!" Don said.

"I bet Bishop got a scan of someone else's body and gave it to you," said Raph, cracking his knuckles.

"Yeah, he said there was an 80% chance that he misplaced it," Mikey said.

"What about the other 30%?" asked Raph.

"You mean 20%," Don corrected.

"You know what I mean," said Raph.

"Well," Don began, "I can do some tests on it to see if it's Mikey's or not, but it'll take about four to six weeks."

"Forty six weeks!" Raph and Mikey said together, clearly alarmed.

"No, four TO six weeks." Don said.

"Oh," said Mikey, wiping some worried sweat off of his face.

"Well, we should get home now." Said Leo as they started walking home.

Two days later, the turtles were on patrol and they saw the strangest thing. A bird flew up to them, dropped a piece of paper in front of them, and flew away.

"That was totally weird," said Mikey.

"I've seen stranger," said Raph as he picked the paper up while his brothers wondered what he meant. "This is what the paper says," Raph said.

Dear family,

I hope you are having a wonderful time! I'm doing great at Hawaii. It feels so weird not being in a super, loud, noisy place. Well, have a good time doing whatever you're doing!

P.S. How are you feeling Michelangelo?

P.S.S. I bet you thought it was strange that I sent a bird to bring this to you.

P.S.S.S. I also bet Raphael said he's seen stranger.

P.S.S.S.S. What does P.S. mean anyway? Is it supposed to be P.P.S or P.S.S? Please tell me ASAP which one.

P.S.S.S.S.S. Have a good time on patrol! Wait, didn't I already say that?…

"Have I ever told you that your girlfriend is strange?" asked Raphael.

"Yes, only about a billion times," Mikey said.

"What does P.S. mean anyway?" asked Leo, looking at Don for an explanation.

"Well-" Don was rudely cut off by Michelangelo.

"Wait a minute, what if Bishop looks in Hawaii for no reason and finds Cara there! Wouldn't that be horrible?" asked Mikey.

"P.S. means Purple Sh**," said Raph, ignoring Mikey.

"Actually it means-" Don was once again cut off by Michelangelo.

"Nah, it means Pink Socks," said Mikey.

"Pissing Snakes," said Raph.

"Pussy Suckers," said Mikey.

"Fugly Fu**ers," said Raph.

"Wait a minute, that had two F's in it, where's the P and the S?" asked Leo.

"In the toilet," said Mikey.

"Huh?" asked Leo, not getting the joke.

"Ya know, you're right Mikey. P.S. should stand for Piss and Sh**" said Raph. They TMNT started walking home, Don was mad because no one would let him say what P.S. really meant, and Leo was thinking really hard, when finally, he stopped in his tracks

"Oh, I get it now!" Leo said.

"Talk about late timing," said Raph.

"Well, I didn't get it at first." Leo said, frowning as Mikey and Raph snickered.

"Sure you didn't," said Mikey.

"What?" asked Leo, annoyed. "I didn't!"

"Actually, you did, Leo." Said Mikey.

"Yeah, two hours later!" said Raph as he and Mikey high fived each other.

"Don, wasn't that the funniest joke ever?" asked Mikey, turning towards Don.

"Hm? Asked Don, who was clearly not paying attention.

"Well, you see, when Leo asked you what P.S. meant, Raph and I started making up a bunch of stuff and then Raph said some real dirty words and Leo said where's the P and S and I said in the toilet and he didn't get it and Raph said P.S. should stand for Piss and the S word and Leo still didn't get it and now like two hours later he randomly yells out that he gets the joke and-" Mikey fell unconscious because of his long run on sentence. Raph got scared and went towards Mikey's face and was about to feel to see if Mikey had a pulse, when, all of a sudden, just as he was centimeters away from Mikey's wrist, Mikey jumped up and yelled, "BOO!" resulting in all the three older TMNT to jump up fifty feet in the air literally, resulting in Mikey getting scared and really passing out because he didn't know his brothers could fly.

When Mikey woke up, he was in his bed.

"Dude, what happened?" asked Mikey when he went over to Don.

"You ate dinner, we went on patrol, nothing happened, so we went to bed." Said Don.

"No, I mean, when I became unconscious," said Mikey.

"That was a dream Mikey," said Don.

"No it wasn't!" Mikey yelled.

"Whatever you say, Michelangelo." Said Don, rolling his eyes and heading towards his lab to do some science stuff.

"Have you started working on that picture to see if it's mine or not?" asked Mikey.

"Well, since you interrupted me, it was left in the *insert high tech machinery here* too long and, therefore, is messed up." Said Don.

"You mean, I'll never know if I'm pregnant or not?" asked Mikey.

"Well, I'm almost absolutely positively sure that you're not pregnant," said Don.

"How can you be so sure?" asked Mikey. "Lately, I've been having morning sickness, strange cravings, aversions to vegetables, fish, coffee, and smoke, I always feels tired, my feet hurt for no reason, and I get strange mood swings."

"Do you even know what aversion means?" asked Don.

"And," said Mikey, ignoring Don, "I think you should have one of those ultraviolet thingamajigs so you can see if I'm pregnant or not."

"Why would we need a random, as you put it, 'ultraviolet thingamajigs' in the lair? I mean, some people might think we have a random one, but we don't. I guess we'll have to wait and see. I might be able to figure out if you're pregnant in four to six months." Said Don.

"Forty six months!" said Mikey, alarmed.

"No, four TO six months." Said Don, annoyed.

"Oh," said Mikey.

"Hey Mikey," said Don.

"What?"

"Remember your 'dream' you told me about?" asked Don.

"Yeah, I can't believe it was all just a dream, it seemed so real." Said Mikey.

"I lied," said Don, smirking.

"That was a dirty joke!" said Mikey.

"Yeah, well that's what you get for ignoring me last night," said Don. Mikey just growled.

"Hey, it's not like you had a concussion last night, and Raph, Leo and I didn't even think it was possible to jump that high." Said Don.

"I thought ninja weren't supposed to get scared," said Mikey.

"You get scared a lot," said Don.

"With the exception of me," said Mikey. "You and Leo and Raph never get scared."

"How do you know that?" asked Don.

"Well, if we were doing percent's, I get scared 80% of the time, you get scared 15%, Leo gets scared 10% of the time and Raph is 2%." Said Mikey.

"You really need to work on your math," said Don, frowning.

"Yeah, I know," said Mikey, looking at the floor in shame.

"Wait, how did our conversation get to from dreams to pregnancy to dreams to bad jokes to this?" asked Don.

"How should I know?" asked Mikey.

"Oh well," said Don.

Sorry for another long wait, I just wanted to make a long chapter, but even though I type 66 words per minute, it still took me forever to finish this chapter. Please read and review, and I really hope you all are enjoying this story. I have a sequel in mind already, but what it's about is a surprise. And don't worry; I'm not one of those people who write a billion stories just about kids when it's called TMNT. I'm going to have lots of action and humor and adventure and cool stuff like this story. This chapter everyone seems out of character because…I did that on purpose for humor purposes. And I seriously don't know what P.S. means. Anyway, just read and review please.