Leaning against the washroom stall door, I slowly slid until my butt reached the floor. The floor was probably covered in a bowl full of disgusting, but right now I didn't care anymore. I don't know why I didn't care; the only thing to happen today was...
Waiting on the roof, our 2 groups conversed. Ichigo and Inoue-san had told us that they needed to tell us something, so everyone from Kojima-kun to Ogawa-san was sitting in a circle waiting for the two.
"Where is my darling hime? It has been too long since I've wrapped my hands around her busty chest and smelt her wonderfully fragrant burnt orange locks!" Honsho-san screamed with dreaming eyes and a drooling mouth. I'm pretty sure that Asano –kun was going off into dreamland from that description as well...
"Damn it Chizuru, don't you even dare imagine yourself fondling Orihime! And you!" Arisawa-san yelled pointing at Asano-kun. "Wipe that grin off of your face!"
"Fine then, in that case, I'll play with Mizuru-chan!" Honsho-san replied with her hands ready to grope the very girl that was inching away from her by the second.
Laughter and mindless teenage chatter filled the air; that is until Ishida-kun pointed out that Ichigo made his arrival.
"Orihime's still not here?" Ichigo asked.
'Orihime? When did he start calling Inoue-san, Orihime?' I thought to myself. Something was up, and I didn't like it.
When Inoue finally found her way up to the roof, Ichigo walked to her side and embarrassed smiles found their way to both of their blushed faces. I thought I was strange, until I saw their hands, their intertwined hands.
"Orihime and I are going out now..." Ichigo said shyly.
While our friends cheered and Honsho-san cried in despair, I could feel Sado-kun's hand on my shoulder. His eyes were asking me, "Are you okay?" why wouldn't I be? I replied with a small smile and a nod, then congratulated the two and excused myself saying I needed to do some work for the teacher.
and that brings us to here. I just couldn't be in the same space as them, not right now, it felt off.
When did Ichigo even start liking Inoue-san? Sure there were plenty of reasons to like her, she was pretty, kind, selfless, the list could go on forever. But when was her spell cast upon Ichigo's heart? Did it matter? It already happened.
Why was I so depressed? Could it be that I liked him? I guess I was open to the idea of being in a deeper relationship with him, but really, I don't even know. In all of my years, I've met tonnes of men, and plenty of them were wonderful people, more worthy of a lady of my status than Ichigo. But even so, whenever I see him, my heart beats just a little faster, my cheeks become a little bit redder, and my mouth seems to find a smile ever so quickly.
Seeing him, I just get sudden urges to touch him, and so I usually do...under the camouflage of an attack. I will greet him with a punch, a kick, a pinch to the cheeks, or sometimes even a glomp. I guess glomping isn't very lady like, but neither is plain out assault being used as a greeting...it's just when I'm around him, I seem to lose control. That couldn't be love, could it? Ichigo's my buddy, I scratch his back, he'll scratch mine...but it seems so wrong to even think like this.
Of course it's wrong! When one of your buddies and one of your girlfriends hook up, you're supposed to be happy for them. Why aren't I happy? I'm supposed to be happy, so why can't smile!
"It's because you love him," a voice echoed in my head.
I love him? No!...but maybe. His face is the last thing I think of before I sleep, and his voice is what I look forward to the most when I wake up. I am sad without him close by, and worry when I don't know where he is. I can talk to him for hours and not even feel like a minute has passed. Yes. I love him. I love Kurosaki Ichigo.
Tears seem to be rolling down my face now, why? Why? Why did I have to realize my feelings after it is too late? Why do I have to love him? What did I do to deserve to feel the guilt of loving someone in a relationship I could never try to get in the way of? Tell me, what did I do?
Please, if anyone is looking after me, just let me love him. Let me love Ichigo with all my heart, just for today. I will cry now and then I'll be done; I'll lock away my feelings for good afterwards.
I fell in love with my friend,
But my love I will not send.
He has a girl,
Perfect, like a pearl.
They're happy, I can see,
That's enough for me.
I cheer them on,
Even gave them a picnic on the lawn.
When he noticed I was down,
I kicked him towards her, for a date out on the town
But when night is here
In my eyes, tear after tear.
Down my cheeks, they will fall
In my room, I will bawl.
But it will be the final time
And then I'll be completely fine
I'll lock my feelings up forever,
And let them come out never.
So let me cry today,
Tomorrow I'll be okay.
This is the product of me not wanting to study for finals on a Friday night. I know the story line is kind of crappy, but I wanted to write the story before the idea left me. I guess this is a dramatized, romanticized version of my situation, maybe? No, not really, I'm just kinda annoyed that some of my guy friends are becoming better friends with some of my other friends, leaving me to the side. Anyways, the poem is of the same name and was just something I made up to fit the story after the last 2 lines popped into my head. I know that the way that the syllables fall is kinda funky, but whatever. I hope you enjoyed my first angsty story, and please leave a review pointing out anything that I could work on, as I would like to improve on my writing.
If you couldn't tell from the story being classified under her name, the story is in Rukia's point of view; sorry I couldn't make that obvious in the story. Also, it felt weird to have Rukia refer to everyone by first name, but I didn't want her to just simply refer to them by last name, so I put honorific titles on most of the people's last names since I couldn't remember what she addresses everyone by.