All things considering death isn't so bad when you really think about it. It's quiet and she liked quiet. Quiet was something that she never had before, that quiet combined with the absolute dark of the North Alaskan winter caught somewhere between Point Hope and the rest of civilization she had to consider that maybe just maybe things would go back to normal. That she would wake up from this hellish dream that seemed to have encompassed twelve years of her life but if it were only twelve hours then that was okay too. Death would like going to sleep.
The cold was speeding along the process, of this she was sure, cold would mean that she would just slip away in her sleep, there wouldn't be a huge problem and if she was just asleep anyway that would mean that she'd have to light a fire and thrown a couple of logs on. It did get cold this far north in the winter and she'd left home in this dream, started dreaming this dream in the winter twelve years ago. A lot could happen in twelve years and the thought of independence just sucked her back into hell, back into the blue and all she wanted to do was fade to black.
Andy frowned at the sounds that were dulling all around her and considered that it meant that the line was moving and that oblivion was as close as the enemy had been when her sight had been taken from her either by pain or the possible severe damage to her eyes or face. It would make since, she'd gone into shock literally nanoseconds after she'd been hit by whatever the hell that thing was. After all she didn't know what her enemy was, no one did, her enemy was something that no one understood or even took the time to understand, as foreign as those who observed the old ways.
She was dying of that she was intimately sure of however some things she was now just seeing in a different light, funny how death and betrayal would do that to her. Her enemy would be dead and the nightmare would still be carrying on if it weren't for betrayal. How sad that it was her own sister who had in essence killed her by her action regardless of whatever the twisted motive, killed over an obsessive love. How cliché, too bad this had been a case that was only just slightly out of the mainstream because she didn't love the man she'd been killed over. Kyle was a friend, a comrade, a brother in all but blood and she'd nonetheless been killed by yet another who was close over someone she saw in a no greater light then she had her own true kin.
Funny how things changed, how jaded everyone else seemed to be, naïve.
Before she thought that she would fear death, dying seemed to be just an end, a horrible inevitable fact that she would meet her demise on this plane. However just twenty miles from her home, where she had begun it was only fair that she would end here too. Her path should've never rightfully taken her from this place, her heart had remained here locked in the ice that covered the tundra in places feet deep. She hadn't been born alone but she was going to die alone which was only fair her twin had perished because she had been too afraid to move and now she would die under strangly similar circumstances.
An enemy that no one understood or cared to understand.
Mortality and solitude.
The world was slipping further and further away though distantly she was aware of someone screaming her name, screaming for her to hold on and to not closer her eyes. Funny, her eyes were closed weren't they? She guessed not, guessed that she would just sleep again even if it were just for a moment. She was so tired, bone weary.
She knew that sleeping was a bad idea and she should be fighting to stay awake but she'd been fighting for too long. Been struggling against absolutely nothing that she did understand, just because she'd been born just a little bit different and people had sought to exploit that. Their war was pointless because they would all die and look back on their lives like this. She hadn't really ever lived.
Had never lived except in those moments when she had run for the space between the trees with the football in hand, streaking for the in zone with everyone else running to catch up either to block her or defend her run. Ender. Finisher. Friend. Lover. Confident. Soldier. Student. Strong. Vulnerable. Human. Different. Outcast. Running back. Quarter back. Commander. Leader. Precious.
All of those she had been but only in a few moment had she not been alone. In the common area, in the open courtyard with her real friends who stuck by her regardless of what ridiculous ranking she had. Truth and reconciliation.
Here I die.
She closed her eyes and became another casualty of the war, not a human casualty though because Pandora weren't really human after all. She was alone again but she got her wish black and quiet one last time as the heat swallowed the world at the Nova's passing.