Chapter One: Are We There Yet?
"Are we there yet?"
"Are we there yet?"
Kensi turned around in her seat, glaring daggers at her partner in the back seat of the oversized 4WD. "Deeks, if you say that one more time I'm going to climb over there and kill you."
In the passenger seat, Sam leant against the window. "Please," He muttered under his breath. They'd been in the car for three hours, on the run. Somehow someone had hacked the NCIS server and discovered their identities, effectively compromising all of their identies.
"Now, now children," Callen chided, not taking his eyes off the highway. "No murdering the in the backseats. You'll leave blood stains."
"And Hetty will kill all of us," Sam glared at them using the side mirror. There were two back seats in the 4WD, in order to fit all six of them in one vehicle. Eric sat directly behind Sam, oblivious to the world thanks to the music blasting out of his headphones. Kensi was on his right, behind Callen, and was still turned around to face Deeks, who was pulling faces at his partner. His faithful mutt was stretched out beside him, his scruffy head being patted by Nell while she stared out the window, not paying attention. "So sit down before you two cause an accident."
"Yeah, explain that to Hetty, Kensi," Deeks grinned, "Oops, sorry we didn't make it to the safe house in the middle of nowhere, we had a slight accident." Sarcasm dripped off his words like honey.
"Shut up, Deeks!" Kensi huffed and turned around, folding her arms tightly across her chest. Tensions were running high; everyone knew that. None of them liked being sidelined when their safety – and that of their agency- was at risk. None of them liked being sent to the middle of nowhere with no means of contacting the rest of the world.
"You know you love me," He reached over and ruffled her brown curls playfully.
Her response was not playful. Kensi's hand snaked out and grabbed his wrist, yanking him forward. His forehead hit the cushioned back of the seat.
"Ow," He pulled out of her grip and rubbed his head. "That wasn't called for."
"How many times do I have to tell you not to touch my hair?" Kensi asked, turning to face him again.
"Probably at least once more before the message sinks in," Sam supplied for Deeks.
"And now I'm remembering why I hated going on family trips," Eric spoke up suddenly. "Everyone always fights."
"You said you were an only child," Nell glanced at him. "Who did you fight with?"
"I have cousins. Evil cousins. Named Gertrude," The blonde techie shivered dramatically.
"With a name like Gertrude, I'd probably be evil too." Callen remarked, smirking slightly.
"So are we there yet? I'm starving." Deeks announced, leaning forward to rest his chin next to Kensi's face.
She slid over on the car seat, angling herself away from him. "Deeks…" She said warningly.
"What? I'm hungry. We've been driving for hours. We're probably in Mexico by now."
"Mexico's in the other direction. We're going west," Nell said, looking up.
"So where exactly is this safe house Hetty is sending us?" Kensi asked Callen.
"Don't know. She just gave me the instructions on paper. Said it was safer that way without any GPS. I think we're almost there though."
"We still have no idea how they compromised our system. Sneaky bastards. When we get back, I'm gonna give them hell." Eric promised, the tech glaring darkly into the distance. No one messed with his systems and survived in the cyber world.
"Easy tiger," Deeks said. "Could be months before we go back. Maybe years. We could never go back."
"Deeks," Callen glared at him, silently ordering him to shut up.
"What?" The blonde agent shrugged. "It's the truth. No point hiding from it."
"Hetty will sort it out. She always does," Sam said with a tone of finality. "We'll be home before we know it."
"Probably before Christmas," Callen added, trying to be hopeful.
Deeks rolled his eyes but stayed silent.
"We should do Secret Santa," Kensi spoke up suddenly, clearly trying to brighten the mood. "It'll be fun. We'll pick names out of a hat or something."
"Like we did in grade school," Deeks added, mockingly.
She whacked him on the side of the head, "Shut up."
"Make me," He challenged.
"It's on," Kensi undid her seatbelt and lunged for him, climbing over the car seat. Nell ducked down, narrowly avoiding being hit by Deeks as he dodged Kensi. Monty started barking, adding to the commotion in the car.
"Hey!" Callen yelled. "Driving here!"
"He started it!"
"And I'm finishing it," Callen drove down and exit and parked in a car park.
Sam frowned, trying to read the neon lights on the building in front of them. "Pancake Manor?"
"Seriously? I love these places," Eric sat up and opened his door. "They have the best blueberry pancakes ever."
"Hold up," Callen held up a hand. "Ground rules. Cash only. Fake names. No making scenes," He looked pointedly at Deeks and Kensi.
"Got it. Come on Fern," Deeks pushed the middle seat so they could get out of the back seat. "I'm so hungry I could eat a cow."
"You are so not calling me Fern," Kensi replied.
"Race you to the front door?" Deeks asked playfully. "Fern?"
"Grow up," She rolled her eyes at him but linked arms with him as they walked to the entrance.
"Why do I feel like I've let the kids run wild?" Callen asked rhetorically.
"Cos it's Deeks." Sam answered.
"We are safe here, right?" Eric asked, helping Nell down from the 4WD.
"Yeah. 'Course," Callen nodded, reassuring both techies with a small smile. "Deeks is one of the best, no matter how much of a pain he can be."
"I heard that!" Deeks crowed from the entrance where he and Kensi were waiting. "Hurry up!"
"Best not to keep him waiting," Callen started walking over. "What's the cover story?"
"Family reunion?" Sam suggested.
"Okay," Callen nodded.
"I'm so adopted," Eric whispered to Nell.
She punched softly him in the arm, "Eric."
"What? Would you choose to be part of this?" He looked over to where Kensi and Deeks were bickering and Callen and Sam were talking to each other.
Nell shrugged, "Why not. There's worse families."
"True," He wrapped an arm around her shoulder and walked over to the rest of the team. "This poor restaurant doesn't know what it's in for."
A/N: I had this idea a while ago but didn't have the time to write any of the one shots down. But now I do. Sorta (If I pretend homework doesn't exist). This one's rushed and I think a bit OOC. Deeks kinda took over this one but the others are more team centric and/ or ship centric. It's all kinda mixed ships and stuff. Tell me what you think of this. The more feedback I get the more I write. It's just how I roll.