AN/ This is for all you reel Christianz out there. This is inspired by Tomaz Brown da best fanfic author ever. This is dedicated to Jesuz! This doznt need a disclaimer cos this is an evil pile of poop! Amen and hellalula!

Hola, my name is Mason and I am a Prayer Warrior. I believe that all the nonbelievers will be burnt in hell, and Ive been sent to kill them all! I live in Seattle and I am friends with Bella Swan. We go to the same church as me. 1 say she came up to me.

"I`m in love with a vampire" she said depressingly

"OMG, you shouldn't, that's too satanic" I said.

"But I don want 2!" Bella said.

"God and his son Jesus Christ which is both lord and savior demands ye to kill all vampires. You will bum in hell if you don't kill that digesting thing!" I said angrily.

"But… I think I am in love with him" I grasped.

To be continued!

AN/ Hope you liked that. Convert to Christianity now!