Yeah, an actual chapter that isn't rushed! I think.

Disclaimer: I own the idea.

The Gryffindor Quidditch team jostled Ryou and Malik through the portrait door. The twins disappeared, only to reappear with bottles of a drink they called butterbeer. The students, even the ones that hadn't watched the tryouts, passed around the bottles, filling goblets and chatting amiably.

Malik watched Ron inform Hermione of the outcome of the tryouts, and Ryou noticed the empty spot the two friends had left clear, as if Harry would come and complete their golden trio at any moment. Malik turned to Ryou and said, making no effort to lower the volume of his voice, "Harrys detention is nearly over. I'm going to go prank that toady teacher. If anyone asks, I've..." Malik paused, his smile flicking into a frown as he thought. He shrugged. "Tell them I've gone to see Isis."

Ryou felt his head nod, the corner of his happy smile tugging wickedly. The rest of the team had wasted no time in getting out of their bulky robes, and the albino did the same, pulling his black robe over his head. He was suddenly just another Gryffindor, the same red tie, the same grey uniform vest, the same black pants. Bakura made his way to the empty spot the two-man trio had left open.

The current conversation came to a close, and Bakura asked in a light tone, "What have you been doing today, Hermione?"

Ron and Hermione jumped, splashing their drinks. Hermione recovered first. "Oh, hello, Ryou! Ron was just telling me you've been made reserve seeker for the team." Hermione frowned, taking in the lack of color-coded robes. "Which Ryou am I talking to right now?"

Ryou looked at her through doe-brown eyes. "Does it matter? Both of us can hear you." His voice continued, cold and sharp, "You speak to two, even if you only see one at a time."

Hermione nodded in fascination. Ron had stiffened at the cold voice. Hermione continued, answering bakura's original question, "I've spent the night knitting more hats for the House Elves."

"House Elves? What are they?"

Hermione's eyes widened in realization, the dark shadows noting sleepiness disappearing. "That's right, you've been going off with Malik these past few days. House Elves are the wizard world's version of slaves, and they keep Hogwarts clean without any form of payment. I'm knitting clothing for them because when a wizard gives his House Elf clothing, it frees them."

Ryou came to the surface. "Really? Are there any at Grimmauld Place?"

Hermione's smile drooped, and for the most part became forced. "There's one-"

"-His name is Kreacher and he's gone bonkers," Ron interrupted, scowling. "He insults everyone and makes everything dirtier. His goal in life is to have his head mounted on the wall with the rest of his family."

"Ron!" Hermione looked scandalized, but her face glowed red, flustered. "He's not- that is, he's been a bit lonely, but he's not- not-" Hermione struggled for words, making her appear to be suffocating herself in the effort. Ryou's soft, assuring voice halted her.

"Mentally ill?"

Hermione deflated, and Ron stared confused. "I'm sorry, Ryou."

"Why should you be? Malik makes plenty of jokes about it."

Hermione sighed and slumped in to the armchair. "It's...something people don't talk about in polite company. It's the elephant in the room."

"But if you ignore the elephant," Ryou started, "it won't be fed, and soon there will be a rotting carcass that no one wants to clean up."

"Why did you have to make that gross?" Ron scowled at Ryou. "Someone would have vanished it before it even died."

Bakura chuckle in his soul room, and Ryou couldn't help but mirror the action. /That's the wizards' answer to every problem, is it? Just 'vanish' it?/

"It's a muggle saying." Still chuckling, Ryou escaped up the stairs away from the happy chatting.

An obstacle blocked the entrance to his shared dorm room. Two grinning obstacles, to be exact.

"Well, well, if it isn't our new back-up seeker."

"He's a real Gryffindor now, George."

Bakura asked, "What do you want?"

"We want you to test our products."

"We've never tested them on a certifiably insane subject, you see."

"How are you going to pay me?" Bakura knew this game; he knew it very well.

One twin leaned close and whispered conspiratorially, "We've caught wind of a new craze-"

"-coming to Hogwarts soon. Lee's cousin got a hold of a big company in America-"

"-and he gave us samples of their product. What do you say?"

"I say your products should stay away from me," Bakura replied in a deadpan.

"Well, what does the other Ryou say?"

Bakura fell silent for a second. "He says 'no thank you'."

The twins cleared the way, one commenting, "He's a polite bloke."

Bakura stalked into the room,shutting the door behind him. the torches died even as they flared to life. Ryou fished a book from his trunk and curled on his bed, settling down to read. Five seconds passed in peace. Then,

"Malik is pranking. You're reading. Ladies and gentlemen: Ryou, The Most Boring Host Ever."

Ryou's pout became Bakura's grin. The book was deposited on the bed, the pages down, making book enthusiasts everywhere cringe as the spine protested the poor treatment. Bakura stifled a laugh at his light. Studying while there was a castle to explore, indeed.

Bakura rolled off the bed, falling in to a pit of darkness. Half a mile away, his steps made nary a sound as the flickering light of torches bathed his reluctant form. The sight before him was enough to make his light blush and retreat within their mind.

"Aw, why didn't you offer to share?" Bakura's voice dripped with mock disappointment, smiling sweetly at the couple.

Malik jumped at the sudden question, apparently too interested in the shivering girl pressed against his torso to have noticed Bakura's arrival. "Kura!" He barely pushed the girl away before she was invading Bakura's personal space.

Her bright eyes stared into Bakura's dark eyes. He was reminded of a girl in a car accident, but instantly hid that thought from Ryou. Before Bakura could get a word out, she sobbed. Tears sprung from her eyes, and she went bawling back to Malik's arms.

"I'll give you some 'privacy' so you can 'cheer up' your new girlfriend," Bakura said, giving a lazy wave.


Bakura waited. He hadn't moved.

"Why are you..." She paused, as if to wait until she dried her eyes, but made no move to do so.

"Ask your boyfriend," Bakura replied flippantly. "Malik, want to to ditch your girl? You can get another one later."

Malik shrugged, staring at the blond with uncomfortable puzzlement. "I don't like leaving her here like this, though. Do this-" he waved the Rod around like a snake. "-while saying 'sleep'."

Muttering, "Don't tell me what to do," Bakura drew out his wand. The girl watched with obliviousness, but Bakura was unperturbed.

As with every spell previous, Bakura's spell had no effect, so Malik cast it instead. The girl went out like a light. Neither of them bothered to prop her against the wall.

"I found an unused classroom," Malik said, smirking. "Want to have some fun?"

"I have two potions here. Both brewed by me, so they're more potent than if a normal wizard had made them," Malik said, showing Bakura two bottles in the corner. "One will speed up clotting so we'll almost immediately have a scar, and the other is a blood-replenishing potion."

Bakura ignored Malik in favor of tossing the knife between his hands, a bored look on his face. Malik sighed.

"I doubt Ryou wants to wake up covered in blood and about to faint from blood loss."

Bakura's glare snapped to Malik, scowling. "A few drops of the clotting potion and the second later."

"Alright." Malik took off the shaft of the Rod, grinning at his reflection on the blade. The hidden dagger wouldn't stay shiny for long. "First to faint loses."

Elephant in the room: PHILOSOPHY! I always like playing around with sayings.

WAIT WAIT WAIT - are there really 136 reviews for this story? Seriously, the YGO crossover section is crawling with readers. I reread all the reviews, and I must say this: you're all awesome.

...why do I get the feeling I unintentionally put in MalikxBakura fluff?

I apologize for the shortness.