Things Have Changed
by Creedog VanDrey

Category: Glee
Genre: Humor
Rating: K+
Language: English
Summary: Matt Rutherford returns to McKinley
Spoilers: Season 3 rumors

A/N: So, I'm pretty sure the summary alone spoils that Dijon Talton is expected to return to Glee, so sorry about that. This is really short.

Things Have Changed

Mr. Schue had one of those big smiles on his face that he often had. The glee club, just beginning their senior year, looked on with their typical lack of enthusiasm. "Well, guys, I've got good news for you. It appears we're going to have another member of New Directions. So, I hope you'll help me in welcoming back…" This caused a mild stirring of interest among the students. "…Matt Rutherford!"

When Matt entered the room, he was greeted with cheering, more loudly from the football players and former cheerleaders, Mike being especially loud, actually getting up from his seat to hug his friend.

Matt surveyed the room. "So, guys, I miss anything big since last year?"

Sam was the first to speak; he joked, "They replaced you with a blonde, white guy. Sam Evans."

"Matt Rutherford."

"We're dating," Mercedes explained, from her seat beside him, her finger gesturing back and forth. Matt narrowed his eyes but shrugged politely.

As she seemed no longer capable of holding her words in, Rachel proclaimed, "New Directions qualified for Nationals. We composed and choreographed original songs while in New York and placed twelfth. Finn and I are together, after a discouraging time during which we were broken up."

Quinn calmly explained, "As you can see by our attire, Santana, Brittany, and I are no longer Cheerios. We willingly dropped to stay in glee last semester. And I didn't get prom queen."

"Me neither," Santana noted with ire.

"I did," Kurt explained dryly. "Ooh, and I have a boyfriend now," he proudly added.

"I've been dating Tina for a year now," Mike noted as he returned to his seat, wrapping his arm around the girl.

When Matt's eyes automatically fell to Artie, the boy explained, "It took me less than a month to get over that. We're actually all friends now. I joined the football team and Brittany and I for several months."

"They broke up," Santana felt the need to add, grasping Brittany's hand in her own, "She's with me now because I'm a lesbian. I'm also the head of an anti-bullying organization with Karofsky. He's gay, too… but, you know, don't tell anyone. We went to prom together."

The blonde related, "I finally remembered my last name. I also did a bunch of solos because Britney Spears told me I'm the most talented member of this club." If Matt's eyebrows weren't already knitted, they would have knit.

Puck was the next to speak. "The football team has a female coach who took us to division championships. She also made the entire team join glee for a week and we did a halftime show together dressed like zombie." He was slugged in the arm by the girl beside him. "Oh, I'm dating Lauren Zizes."

Lauren waved. "I'm part of the club now."

Finn growled, "Jesse St. James came back to consult for the glee club, but he was really trying to seduce Rachel." Rachel rolled her eyes.

There was a lull in conversation as everyone looked up to Mr. Schue. When he didn't add anything, Brittany excitedly announced, "Mr. Schue's dating Miss P now."

Santana expanded, "They just started up because she got married to the world's hottest dentist, who later divorced her because she wouldn't give up her goodies. But it's okay; Mr. Schue got some major substitute tail in the meantime, though."

Mr. Schue cleared his throat. "I'd rather not have my personal business brought up."


"Rachel sent a foreign exchange student to a crack house," Kurt casually added.

Mercedes noted, "Coach Sylvester was made principal for a little while, but she resigned willingly. I think she's trying to run for office now."

After a long spell of time during which the glee club suspected they may have stunned Matt into his usual reticence. "Is this some kind of re-initiation prank? Because I'm pretty sure you're making up about 90 percent of that."

A/N: I had a longer version where Matt spoke a whole bunch, but it seemed disingenuous.