I'm so sorry for not updating sooner, I suppose I just lost all my inspiration. In the spirit of helping each other through this ridiculously-timed hiatus, I give to you, Entry 10... con el sexo.
Best. Vacation. Ever.
Seriously, it was the most awesomest week of like, eternity. I wish I could've written everything down but my journal was in the same suitcase as my clothes and Santana locked that in the closet as soon as we got there, and she wouldn't let me have it back until the end of our vacation!
That girl and closets.
We had the house all to ourselves, and the pool area was sort of fenced off and private so we hardly ever saw anyone else, and it was suuuper hot which meant we didn't really need clothes that much. Hey, did you know there's a Breadstix in Florida? Santana has the delivery girl on speed dial. She's a cute little redhead, only a couple of years older than us, and every time we saw her she was wearing this black miniskirt that I'm pretty sure can't be her uniform; it was almost as short as our cheerio skirts.
The first time we ordered in we were on the sofa getting our cuddle on in our tiny whities when the doorbell rang. Santana went to answer it but I made her throw on one of my shirts first, you know, just in case it was one of the neighbours or something; they don't need to see San in all her glory, even though I bet half the old guys around here have thought about it.
After five minutes she still hadn't come back, and I was just thinking about having like, withdrawal symptoms from sweet lady kisses, when I heard a giggle.
I'm not one of those whiny paranoid girls, like Rachel, because I'm kind of fucking flawless, but Santana's not the only one who isn't afraid to tell a bitch when to back off and like, sometimes it's kinda fun to sort of, mark my territory, so I took off Santana's shirt and left it on the back of the couch while I went to go metaphorically pee on San.
I put on my best smouldering face to saunter up and slip an arm around her waist. I expected her to be shocked, and maybe a little scared, and she was at first, but as I smirked and looked into her eyes I saw defiance behind them. She looked sort of smug as she tightened her grip around my shoulder and introduced me. I was so busy making "back off" eyes at the delivery girl that it took a minute for Santana's words to register in my mind. It seriously almost stopped my heart. Like, for real, I'm pretty sure I just went into a trance; I don't even remember what happened for like the next hour after she said it.
I guess maybe it was because we were far away from home,or maybe she just felt brave, but it's totally awesome progress.
We talked about it later, because like, you can't just say that and then go back to picking the bean sprouts our of your noodles, and she was all smiley and I was all smiley and I felt like if Tinkerbell had sprinkled fairy dust on me I would have flown away into the night and never ever come back down.
She told me she wanted to be with me, holla vu-jà-dé, and that she promised to work hard to be braver. I literally could've stopped her there and kissed her beautiful face until her lips went numb, but I let her carry on. She said she didn't want to hide anymore, that she wanted to spend every second of every day together again, like old times, but better, and that even though she wasn't totally ready to be out yet, if I wanted to, she would really really like to be my girlfriend.
So, I cried.
And she cried.
And we made love.
And cried some more.
Santana's beautiful when she cries. I mean, I don't like it when she cries; it makes my chest feel tight, and I get this weird urge to do all kinds of totally crazy stuff, like jump over rooftops, or wrestle alligators, anything to make her pain go away. But her eyes, those gorgeous deep caves that hold a million secrets in every crevice. Tears make them shimmer, like duck ponds you can see all the way to the bottom of.
I can tell that she's not quite ready yet, and it's my job to protect my girlfriend, so I don't want to push her anymore. I mean, I totally want to be able to do coupley stuff, like hold hands in school, sing duets in glee club, and get our mack on by the lockers, instead of under the bleachers where those weird girl Skanks hang out, (actually one of them's kinda hot, and I've heard she has a thing for truckers) but I can wait, because, as long as Santana's mine, and I'm hers, it's like nothing else matters that much.
Last year was horrible. There were times when we wouldn't speak for days, and sometimes, I felt like I didn't even know her anymore. That was the worst; we've been best friends for so long that I can't remember a time when I didn't know all her secrets, and to suddenly find myself wondering how she felt, or what she was going to do, was so so awful. I should know that. I should always know that.
So, I'm going to keep hold of her this year, as her best friend, and we'll grow together, and see what happens.
On Thursday we were sunbathing out in the back, because San likes to be as tan as possible, and she says my sun-freckles make me look super cute and super hot at the same time. I don't argue because even though I've never liked it that much and I get bored pretty easy, San knows my condition - I'll lay in the sun with her for as long as she wants, so long as we can share a lounger, and she'll sing to me.
So we do, and she does.
We go topless now, because there's nothing worse than distracting pre-teen bikini strap lines when you're trying to get your mack on, or you know, less naughty stuff, like, wearing strapless glee club costumes… which usually leads to sweet lady kisses anyway. Um… I can't remember my point. I know, I'll tell you about the cats first instead.
There was a ginger one and a super cute grey one, and they played for so long, just jumping on each other and nipping at each other's necks. It reminded me of how me and San used to play wrestling/fairy pillow fights when we were kids. Watching them was almost like a romantic scene from a movie… I half expected the glee kids to be behind the glass swaying and harmonising, so I checked quickly, just in case. When I looked back to the kitties the ginger one had its tiny nose dangerously close to the other's butt. I shouted out for it to stop because that's how feline conjunctivitis spreads and it's super contagious, especially at this time of year. San looked kinda confused so I explained that it's just like pink eye for humans and that butt-contact is like, one of the easiest ways to spread it. She nodded and I saw that glint in her eye, so when she snickered I was totally expecting it.
"Guess that's why Hummel's baby blues always have that pink tint."
I giggled, even though it was a tiny bit mean, because it's not like we said it to his face or anything.
Santana lay her head back down and closed her eyes, so I leaned over and kissed her sweaty cheek, just because.
She didn't open her eyes, but her lips curled up into a satisfied smirk, which made me grin, and she reached out blindly for me. She caught hold of my right arm, bringing me close, so she could kiss my equally sweaty forehead, before pulling me right on top of her.
I told her she'd get a funny tan if we stayed like that, and she giggled and reached up to brush the hair out of my face.
"I know, but I needed something to block the sun from my eyes."
I pretended to swat her, for comparing my uses to those of a baseball cap, but she was already pulling me down for another, longer kiss, so I forgot whatever argument I had forming. Her left hand rested on the small of my back, where a tiny pool of sweat had started to form. I know it's totally gross, but it was August in Florida, and like over a hundred degrees, so I couldn't help it!
I bit down gently on her bottom lip a little, to let her know I was in the mood, as she moaned into my mouth and pulled our downstairs areas closer in response.
Her back arched as she sat up, spreading her legs so that I was kneeled in between them, but never breaking our kiss. When she did break it, she pressed her forehead into mine, grinning and breathing heavily. I couldn't tear my eyes away from her rapidly rising and falling chest; I'm only freaking human. She noticed, and smirked, before kissing me again, deeply and quickly, as she held onto my hips and in one swift movement swung herself so that she straddled my stomach, pinning me down. It's totally hot when she dominates. I could feel the familiar twitch in my bikini bottoms, reminding me of the two layers of fabric still separating us.
I guess I instinctively went to pull them down, but a gentle sting to the back of my hand stopped me. I looked up to see Santana raising one eyebrow at me, almost challenging.
"Me first today Britt. You do still owe me from when you introduced me to the female equivalent of blue-balls in the motel."
I didn't really know what to do; the twitch in my pants was getting more noticeable, but I was totally at Santana's mercy, so I just stayed silent. San nodded her head towards her own bikini bottoms, so I complied, and reached out to pull the string on one side, undoing the knot, before doing the same to the other side, and pulling the tiny cut of fabric from between us.
Her moisture on my stomach made my heart race, and I tried to cross my legs, to relieve the unbearable ache between them, but San used her own legs to pin mine down.
She leaned over, her lips inches from mine, our hot breath mingled, her slickness torturing me, and slowly she started to rock her hips.
A strangled gasp escaped my lips, and she captured it, pressing our lips together, and matching the rhythm of her hips with her tongue gliding across mine. I used my hands on her lower back to keep her as close as nature would allow, and tried desperately to calm myself down and concentrate on breathing slowly, though I'm pretty sure my body had plans of its own, as my hips bucked involuntarily and I stopped being able to tell who the moans belonged to.
"Mmmm… oh.. Brittany."
The sound of my own name almost sent me over the edge, so I opened my eyes. Santana's enthralling gaze met mine.
Her hips became faster. Her breath more irregular. Her eyes more honest...
People always describe it beautifully, poetically, and it sounds incredible, but really, I don't think anyone can ever do it justice. It's magic, and totally indescribable, to feel that close to someone, and to share that moment, in love. It's love, in the oldest, most pure form, and it's perfect.
I pulled her down, pressing our mouths together, and wrapped my arms around her neck, as she murmured into my lips.
"Te amo querida… tanto, por siempre jamás. No me dejes… por favor, mi amor… no me dejes nunca…"
I kissed her cheek, her jaw, her neck, softly, and whispered, "Never. I'll never leave you. Almas gemelas, remember?"
She settled next to me, with her head on my chest, and our legs intertwined, as I held her close. Her eyes fluttered shut, and she nodded, a smile ghosting her lips.
Love From B.
I'm sure you understood what was happening, but just in case you were wondering,
"I love you baby... so much, forever and a day. Don't leave me... please, my love... don't ever leave me..."
"Almas gemelas" - "Soulmates"