...you should feel special my lovely story readers as I have no idea how I managed to do an update. Just worked two 12 hour days and will be doing a 13 hour day friday. Oh the life of being a student working a full time unpaid internship and a part time job. I'm beeeeat and really need sleep...and instead I wrote harhar.

Mind Over Body



"Dad?" Dean questions sleepily when he sees the figure leaning on the doorframe of Sam's room. The room is dark and the light from the hallway does nothing to illuminate the persons face.

"Yeah Dean. S'me" John says as he unfolds his arms and steps inside the doorway.

"S'everything ok?" Dean slurs as he wipes his arm over his tired eyes and looks towards the clock on the wall. It's just after three in the morning.

"Yeah Dean. It's okay." John responds with a tired smile as he flicks the switch and the light behind the bed spreads a dim glow throughout the room.

"What're doing?" Dean says confused.

John closes his eyes, shakes his head with a pained expression. "Nothing," he says as he walks forward and drops a hand onto Dean's head, "How's Sam?" he continues as he kneels beside his two sons.

"Sam's okay." Dean reassures as he eyes his dad wearily. "What'd you do?" he asks, not allowing him to change the topic.

John stays silent for a minute before answering, "It's okay Dean. I got what we need." he says as he pulls the clear ziplock bag out of his pocket.

Dean's face scrunches up at the clumpy black root, and knows that his dad's not telling him everything. "At what cost dad? What did you have to do?"

"It's okay De-"

"No dad. What. did. you. do." Dean snarls out between clenched teeth, trying to stay as quiet as possible to avoid waking Sam, even though the first thing he wants to do is shout angrily at his father who's left kneeling beside them with guilt plaguing his face.

"I didn't have a choice. Sam cant stay like this." John pauses for a second before deciding to just get everything out in the open. Because he knows Dean and he knows he's not going to stop until he gets the truth. "I made a deal."

"You what?" Dean angrily shouts.

"Shhh, Dean." John says as patiently as he can when he notices Sam twitch in his sleep.

"What'd you get?" Dean snarls under his breath and John can see the anger in his sons eyes. Sees the hurt in his face.

"5 years." he says out quietly.

Dean's face falls and he drops his head into his one hand that's not cradling Sam. "There…there had to be another way." Dean says out quietly. Pained.

"I'm sorry Ace. There was no other way." Because lord knows him and Bobby had been searching non-stop for a cure.

"B-but we could have-"

John places a hand around the back of Dean's neck, pulls his boy close, looks into his sons confused green eyes, "There was no other way." he says slowly and clearly while pinching Dean's neck in his hold.

John lets go of Dean and watches as he falls backwards against the chair. Dean's eyes are scanning the floor, the pained, confused expression taking over his face.

John leans back against the hospital bed, crosses his ankles and pinches the bridge of his nose between his fingers. "Sam can't know." John says as he drops his hand and looks towards Dean.

Dean's eyes are still scanning the floor confused. He's hurt thinking about how his dad only has 5 years left with them. Hurt that his dad went and made a deal with a demon without even thinking to talk it over with his family. With him.

"Dean." John snaps, drawing Dean's gaze from the floor and to his face, "Sam. Cant. Know." he repeats firmly to his son. An order.

It takes every ounce of strength that Dean has to make his head nod when every single cell and nerve ending is screaming no.

"So what now? We change Sam back" Dean asks, staring lost into his dads face.

"Not yet. Bobby's got to get his hands on a few more things. They'll be easy to come by. This-" John says squeezing the plastic bag and shoving it back into his pocket, "Not so much."

"And what about you?"

"Don't worry about me Dean. I'll be fine."

"Dad you made a deal, you won't be fi-"

"Dean stop." John says when Dean goes to continue his argument. "This stays between us, you hear?"

Dean sighs. Feels a pit forming in his stomach and aches bursting through his body. He swallows down the secret and nods his head.

"You eat?" John asks Dean, changing the subject and knowing that this time it will remain changed.

"Not since breakfast."

John nods his head towards the door, "Go grab some food."

"I'm okay."

"Hey." John says forcing Dean to make eye contact with him, "go grab some food at the cafe."

Dean nods his head, cradles Sam close as he works himself out of the comfy chair. His dad switches spots with him and Dean carefully lowers Sam into his waiting arms.

"I'll be back in a few." Dean announces as he turns for the door.

"Take your time." John says as he rubs the back of his hand against Sammy's little cheek.

When Dean leaves, it only takes moments before John's biting back tears. Tears of anguish, grief, guilt.

"I'm so sorry Sammy. One day I'd ask you to forgive me for what I've done but you're better off not knowing. It's better off this way." John says, "It's better off this way." he repeats again, as if trying to convince himself.

John looks over his youngest son sleeping in his arms. Watches the rhythmic rise and fall of his sons bare chest, and is thankful that his skin is no longer like fire to the touch. He runs a hand through Sam's messy hair, draws his fingers down the side of Sammy's face, careful not to knock the oxygen mask that's misting with little puffs of air.

"Oh Sammy. We'll get you back to normal soon little man. Just be patient a little while longer. Let Bobby round up the rest of the stuff we need." John whispers quietly before bending over and placing a firm kiss to the sleeping boys forehead.

"D-dad?" Sam blinks tiredly, his voice muffled from the mask on his face.

"Yeah kiddo, it's me." John grins.

"Wa's wrong?" Sam mumbles in a sleepy haze.

"Nothing's wrong." John says as he looks up towards Dean who's stepping back into the room -pop, chips, and a chocolate bar all crammed into one hand. "I got both my boys," he lets out as he looks back at Sam with a smile, "My family. What could be wrong huh."

Dean eyes his dad accusingly as he walks to the bed, knowing that everything's wrong.

"You sure?" Sam says with a yawn.

"I'm sure Sammy. Go back to sleep, k bud?"

"Can we go back to Bobby's now?"

"No. Not yet, sport. Go on, sleep Sam." John says. He decides not to tell Sam that they have the main ingredient to getting him back to himself, because he knows Sam won't stop fighting him to bust out of the hospital and head back to Bobby's.

"I been sleeping'" Sam lazily says with blinking eyes and a yawn before a pout envelopes his face. And John smiles at how much he sounds like a little kid. How much he sounds like the toddler that John raised years ago.

"Wanna watch some tv…always made you fall asleep when you were a little guy" Dean says out with forced enthusiasm. Sam notices that Dean's eyes look angry and that he's avoiding looking at their dad.

"I don't think you can watch porn in the hospital Dean. The nurses might not like it."

"Yeah, or they'll like it too much." Dean mumbles with a smirk as he grabs a handful of chips and shoves them into his mouth.

"Uh Dean." Sam moans.

"Oh relax you prude." Dean miffs as he grabs the flicker and throws on the sports channel.

"Alright come on." John says to his youngest who's facing away from the tv, "Lets get you turned around." he continues as he pulls the teddy bear blanket from Sam's legs.

Sam sits himself up and John helps him crawl across his lap. John watches as Sam tries to turn around so he's facing the tv. "Wait wait." John says patiently as he untangles the heart monitor wires. "Okay you're good."

John notices that Sam's diaper looks wet but decides to wait until he's sleeping before changing him. He's not in the mood to fight with Sam -not now, or the next five years.

Sam burrows down against his father. Snuggles up close, not even ashamed at how good it feels to just have his dad protecting him against the world again.

John grabs the teddy blanket and drapes it over Sam and all three begin to watch tv.

A half an hour later finds Sam soundly asleep again and John moves from the chair and lays Sam on the bed beside Dean before grabbing the diaper changing supplies.

"So this how it's gonna be, huh?. This friction." John says to Dean who's looking down at little Sam sleeping.

"I don't know dad." Dean answers angrily in exasperation as he looks up and glares into his fathers eyes. "You tell me. You go around making deals with the devil and just expect that to be okay with me?"

"Dean, I had to do it."

"No you didn't."

"And what about your brother. You gonna sit there and tell me that if I wasn't around you wouldn't do the same god damn thing."

Dean sits quietly, not answering -because his dads right, and he would do the same thing, in a heartbeat.

"Yeah, that's what I thought." John says out to his son. "Don't blame me for this Dean."

"Maybe we can find a way out for you."

"Yeah maybe we can…and we'll look Dean, uncover every stone we can. But Sam doesn't find out, you got it?"


"Okay." John affirms before he starts to change Sam. Once he has that task done he's lifting Sam in his arms and gesturing for Dean to get off the bed. "Here. Take your brother." John says as he passes the toddler into Dean's arms.

John turns and pulls the sheet covered in mud, baby food, and chips from the bed, and tosses it onto the floor. He turns to the shelving unit and grabs a clean white sheet and fits it onto the bed.

Dean reluctantly lowers Sam onto the clean bed. Arranges his limbs so there comfortably stretched out and readjusts the oxygen mask on Sam's face. Dean throws the teddy bear blanket over his brother then pulls the guard rail up with a click.

"Get some sleep Dean, we're leaving tomorrow."

Dean looks at his dad with a knowing look -knows their leaving tomorrow, doctors orders or not.

A review would make my day :) Let me know what you think!

Forewarning to everyone -I am wrapping this story up. Either the next chapter or one after.

But I'm a fan of the de-aged fics so perhaps I'll do another one...after I finish my sick!Dean and hurt!Sam story that I also have on the go right now. Those baby's are crying for an update :/ my apologies.