A/N: So this is the LAST CHAPTER of this fic. I've added a little bonus trivia at the end if that sort of thing interests you.


Izuna sighed and leaned back against his brother's chest. Madara rolled his eyes.

"How am I supposed to wash this endless hair of yours if you keep scooting closer to me?"

Izuna turned his head to the side and kissed his brother's shoulder softly. "Being close to you is far more important than having clean hair..."

It had been like this as children. Izuna could never wash his own hair- it was too long. Madara would have to help, and all they'd end up doing was snuggling in the bathtub. Of course, when they were little kids, that was fine, because eventually their mother would notice Izuna's greasy-headedness and wash it herself- no cuddling involved there.

"Izuna, you can have both if you'd just wait for ten minutes and let me finish with your hair first."

"Ugh! But Mada-Nii-"

Madara playfully shoved Izuna up. He stayed there, with a pout planted firmly on his face. The hair washing process really didn't take more than six or seven minutes. Izuna's hair was long, but it was silky and straight. It didn't really tangle much and shampoo spread easily.

Then came the conditioner. It was a deep conditioner, the kind that you put in, then let it sit for twenty minutes, then take it out. Izuna was not a fan.

Madara put it in, then as best he could wrapped Izuna's hair up in a bun atop his head and chuckled.

"What?" Izuna asked, immediately self-conscious about his brother laughing at him.

"Your bangs won't cooperate. They keep hanging over your face and with the rest of your hair pulled back like that, you look like Sasuke."

"Oh, well Sasuke's sexy, so I don't care."

Madara rolled his eyes.

"Hurry up in there! We've gotta bathe too, you know!"

Speak of the devil...

"If you're in a hurry, feel free to join us." Izuna replied slyly to Sasuke, leaning back into Madara's chest again now that he wasn't being restricted by his hair.

Sasuke opened the door and looked at Izuna with his arms crossed and an annoyed face.

"Izuna, you know damn well that Aniki's not gonna go for that shit. Why can't you two just let us shower first? We're twenty times faster!"

"When did my name stop having 'uncle' in front of it?"

"You're not my uncle!"

"It still felt nice..."

Itachi walked calmly into the bathroom and looked at the two people in the tub. "What's going on in here?"

"Since when are you head of the house?" Madara asked playfully. In truth, he was quite amused that Itachi would come in and try and take charge of the situation.

"Since I've been the most mature. Which would mean always. What are you guys talking about?"

He asked, sitting down on the closed toilet and pulling Sasuke onto his lap.

"Izuna asked me why I don't call him uncle anymore. I said it's because he's not our uncle. Right?"


"How are you guys even related to us anyway?"

Madara gave Izuna a questioning look. Izuna just shrugged. Madara frowned. "Itachi can explain that."

Itachi nodded, wondering what that odd little exchange had been about. "They're technically our cousins."

"How're they our cousins?"

"Our father's grand father is their father's father."


"Our great grandfather had a two sons and a daughter. The eldest son was our grandfather, but as you know he passed a long time ago. The youngest son is their father. So our father is their first cousin, because their dad and our grandpa had the same parents, even though they were years apart."

"Almost correct." Izuna said with a knowing smile painted across his features.

"What part isn't correct?"

"You forgot someone very important. Don't worry though, he's very often forgotten."


"The third son. Your great grandfather didn't have two sons and a daughter. He had three sons and a daughter. The daughter died a long while ago, as did the eldest son, your grandfather. So that's all correct. But there were two younger son's not just one."

"Two? Why doesn't anyone ever talk about the other one?" Itachi asked, as Sasuke was opening his mouth probably to ask the same question.

Izuna just looked at Sasuke with a gentle smile. "He was my father's twin, you see. Completely identical. Even their own parents couldn't tell them apart, except of course by their behavior. My father's twin was very rotten as a child and not much better as an adult."

"What's so interesting about him?" Itachi asked in a bored tone.

"Well, you see, firstly you should know that my mother was all in all a very wicked woman most of the time." Madara said, taking over the story from that point, because he knew that Izuna would end up telling Itachi and Sasuke the absolute truth with too much clarity as to who they were really talking about -which they'd said they weren't ever going to do-.

"Okay. You guys' mum was a bitch. Note taken, go on." Sasuke said.

"Our father didn't care for her very much either, but he did have someone else. He was head over heels in love with her, through and through. He would have done anything for her, but he refused to consummate their relationship because they were both already married with children."

"What's consummate the relationship mean?" Sasuke asked.

"He never fucked her." Izuna answered, then continued telling the story himself, after giving Madara a reassuring look that meant he wasn't going to actually reveal the entire secret to their little cousins. "He never touched her sexually, but she wanted that closeness with him, and up until quite recently she thought she'd gotten it."

"What really happened?" Itachi asked, now becoming more interested.

"On the night that she tried to seduce him, she was actually tricked into sleeping with his twin, and became pregnant with his brother's child."

"What did her husband do?" Itachi asked

"Nothing. He assumed the child was his, he's never been the sharpest knife in the drawer, even as a teen and young adult he was easy to prank and take advantage of, I mean this guy is REALLY slow. This one time-"

"Izuna, hush! Anyway, she was pregnant with a child that she thought had been conceived with the man she truly loved. The man himself, namely my father, knew this not to be true. At first, he hated her for her foolish mistake, but he never told her of his resentment. He played the part beautifully, I might add. He acted as if it was his child, and he begged her to be rid of it. In truth, he simply could never look at her the same way after what she'd done, and she didn't even know that she'd done it."

"What about the twin brother? The one she actually slept with?" Sasuke asked.

Izuna smirked. "Well, my father's never been one to leave loose ends. He met up with a distant cousin of ours and agreed to support this cousin completely in exchange for the death of his brother. The cousin agreed, of course. He killed my father's twin, and was happily living off of my father's wealth afterwards."

Madara continued. "Yes, but this cousin in and of himself was quite the loose end. After my father's death, he figured that he could have gotten even more money out of the main family, so he told my father's lover everything that he knew about the situation and demanded payment to keep him quiet. This of course is when everything started going a bit sideways, because the woman had always thought that her child was my father's, and she felt very guilty after finding out that she'd been wrong. Izuna and I dealt with the cousin though, so she has nothing to worry about. That's the end of that."

"So let me get this straight," Sasuke began. "You're telling me, that your father was in love with a married woman, but he didn't want to actually cheat on your mother- so he never fucked her... but she was SO desperate to make love to him, that she ended up accidentally making a move on his twin and getting herself pregnant? And she didn't even know it? She thought that it was his until some random out-of-the-fuck cousin of ours confessed to killing her actual baby-daddy? That's CRAZY!" Sasuke said.

Itachi was frozen in his seat. "And the child?" he asked, looking at Madara and Izuna as if he had a thought that was right on the edge of his mind, and only needed a little probing.

"Is living with caring family and the love of his life, and from what I can tell quite happy."

Itachi's eyes widened and he looked at Madara in realization. Hn... maybe he was smarter than they tended to give him credit for. He'd definitely picked up on who they were talking about. Luckily, from Sasuke's position he couldn't see his face. Just for confirmation, Itachi spoke.

"Does... does the child know who his real parents are?"

Izuna looked up at Itachi's suddenly frantic expression and smiled. "I'm not sure, but his brother does. I've said all I have to say, and at this point I'll leave that between them."

Itachi nodded, and gently pushed Sasuke off of his lap to stand. "Otouto, stay here with them for a while please, I need to go talk to Mom about something."

"Kay, Nii-San. Hurry back to me." He said with a smile, kissing Itachi's lips. Itachi walked out of the door and Sasuke sighed, then turned towards his cousins. "Mind if I join you?"

"Yes, Sasuke. We're both absolutely repulsed by the idea of you taking off your clothes and getting into the tub with us." Madara said sarcastically.

"Hn. Well I'm getting in anyway." Sasuke replied, stripping and sliding into the warm water. It was still clear, they'd obviously just been sitting around lounging in the tub rather than actually washing their bodies.

He leaned back and let the water sooth him before opening his eyes and smiling. "So I guess this makes us first cousins, huh?"

"You're our cousins son. We're second cousins."

"No. The woman in your story is my mother. I'm your uncle's son. We're first cousins." Sasuke said with a sly smirk.

So he'd figured it out too then. He just wasn't as shaken by it as Itachi was.

"Is it that obvious?" Izuna asked, passing the cup on the side of the tub to Madara so that he could rinse the conditioner out of his hair.

"I've known who my father was since turning eighteen last summer. His lawyers contacted me about some property that he hadn't left to anyone that I'm apparently entitled to claim, as his only child. It came as quite the shock back then."

"So how do you feel about it now?" Madara asked.

"Itachi's still my older brother, and you two are still my older cousins. So it doesn't really change much as far as the people who I actually care about."

"Itachi's your half-brother." Madara clarified.

Sasuke rolled his eyes. "Which half of him is my brother, the left or the right? Or is he split between his top half and his bottom half?" Sasuke asked sarcastically. "Itachi's my brother. Plain and simple. There's no need to get fractions involved."

Izuna smirked. "Indeed." He said, before closing his eyes and scooting forward to let Madara finish with his hair.

He bumped into Sasuke's knee and Sasuke rolled his eyes.

"There's another important fact that never changed."


"This goddamn house still needs another bathroom!"

A/N: Feel free to message me if you're still confused about anything! Or just leave it in a review!

It's been a really fun journey with you all! Now I guess I'll just bullet point the simple facts incase you managed not to catch on.

-Izuna and Madara's father had a twin brother. That's why Izuna was certain that he'd seen his father fucking Mikoto, but Madara was certain that it never happened.

-Izuna and Madara realize the truth about their father when Izuna mentions that he and Sasuke look just alike because it made Madara remember that Izuna and Sasuke weren't the only Uchiha's who take after each other. (His father and his twin also look alike)

-Mikoto was in love with Izuna and Madara's father- not his twin. After discovering that her son isn't really the child she thought he was she goes into a depression and her character changes.

-Izuna is sent away from Konoha in order to keep Mikoto from finding out the truth about Sasuke. His father didn't want Mikoto feeling guilty -he loved her- it didn't actually have anything to do with scandal.

Now, here are some little things that I decided about the story that I didn't add in (if you're interested)

-Madara and Izuna's father commits suicide after he feels that Sasuke's old enough to take care of himself.

-Izuna never remembers to buy groceries because he spent almost his entire life having food brought to him every day.

-Madara opens the bank account for Itachi and Sasuke and agrees to let them move in because he wants them to have the life that he and Izuna never had.

-Izuna is almost completely nocturnal. He doesn't go to sleep until three or four in the morning and sleeps in until one or two in the afternoon.

-Sasuke never allowed himself to become close to Fugaku because he feared that if he had a good relationship with Fugaku, then Itachi wouldn't take care of him anymore.

-Ino is the waitress at the restaurant where Madara and Izuna eat with Mikoto.

-Nagato is a convicted murderer. Madara hires him because he feels that it takes a real killer to kill a killer.

-Obito and Shisui's father went to the same high school but didn't see much of each other.

-Sasori takes advantage of Deidara while he's high on DHB

-Izuna has never had a haircut, but he shaves almost every other part of his body.

-Madara and Izuna's father started planning his own death the day his twin died- because of the guilt of ordering the death of his brother.

-Sasuke drops out of High School in an attempt to out-rebel Itachi's dropping out of college.

-Izuna never attended High School or college, but he excels in housework, martial arts, and of course- espionage.

-Madara is the only member of the foursome to graduate both High School and College. He majored in Sociology has a PHD in Child Psychology.

-Mikoto doesn't tell anyone about Madara and Izuna's relationship because they're already keeping several secrets for her.

-Izuna deliberately disallowed Madara from having another bathroom put into their house.

-Izuna cannot sleep through the night if Madara isn't in bed with him.

-Izuna and Madara loved to prank, frame, and steal food from Fugaku when they were children, and they were never caught doing it.

-Both Madara and Izuna are more emotionally attached to Sasuke but more sexually attracted to Itachi.

-Sasuke didn't know 3/4 of the people who attended his sixteenth birthday party, and was not especially close to the remaining 1/4. But he still spent the night dancing his heart out.

-Mikoto often looked after Sasori when he was a baby. Itachi doesn't meet Deidara until Sasori starts dating him- but they quickly become close, and Deidara takes pride in their friendship.

-Izuna hand-made his maid uniform.

-Itachi takes over the job of buying groceries after moving in.

-Izuna and Madara's parents knew about their relationship. Their father also knew about Itachi and Sasuke's relationship.

-Madara is more kinky in bed than Izuna when they're alone.

-Izuna never finished learning how to behave appropriately in society, and has no interest in mastering such a trivial skill.

I think that's it for all my little additions...

Hope you've enjoyed reading this fic as much as I've enjoyed writing it!

Until next time, my loves!