The Divine Kurt Hummel

By Julesmonster

Disclaimer: All publicly recognizable characters, settings, etc. are the property of their respective owners. The original characters and plot are the property of the author. The author is in no way associated with the owners, creators, or producers of any media franchise. No copyright infringement is intended.

A/N: So I had a productive holiday weekend. I finished Passions first and now this. This story is a future fic, and there really aren't any spoilers. The entire story was born from the first scene, which just popped into my head when rewatching Kurt perform Le Jazz Hot. Like most of my fics, it's kinda fluffy. There are 6 chapters and a short epilogue. Hope you like it! Jules


"Noah Puckerman, as I live and breathe."

Puck froze as he heard that familiar voice come from behind him. A part of him wanted to turn around and scoop his visitor up in a tight bear hug, but another part wanted to run away. Unfortunately, his dressing room only had one door and it was being blocked by none other than Kurt Hummel.

Puck turned and gave Kurt wry smile. "Hey Kurt. What are you doing here?"

"Still the same clueless boy as ever," Kurt said as he swished over to Puck's vanity and began looking through the things there. "Didn't even try to find out who else was in this show with you before you signed the contract?" Kurt held up a jar of cheap moisturizer and huffed. "This will never do. I'll bring you something better tomorrow."

"So, um… you're in this show?" Puck asked.

Kurt looked at him with a smirk. "Baby, I'm the star of this show."

Puck frowned. He was pretty sure he would have remembered his manager telling him something like that. Then again, when he'd agreed to do a Broadway show, Puck had been in the middle of a very messy breakup and had just wanted to get the fuck out of LA. Well, he was out of LA alright. He was in Manhattan and getting ready for the first day of rehearsals for some fruity musical.

"I thought the show was about a woman pretending to be a man," Puck said with some confusion.

"A woman pretending to be a man pretending to be a woman," Kurt corrected. "That's why playing the role of Victor/Victoria was too delicious to pass up when the producers called. Besides, I've always wanted to play a Julie Andrews role."

"And who am I in this little show?" Puck wondered.

"You haven't even read the script, have you?" Kurt huffed. "You are the gangster, King Marchand, who falls in love with Victor, despite the fact that he is supposedly a man."

"Right," Puck said. "Whatever. I'll learn the part. No one expects me to actually be a great actor. They just want my name to draw crowds."

"True enough," Kurt sighed. "It is an unfortunate fact of life that fame on Broadway does not necessarily fill the seats. You need tourists to do that."

"And I'll pull the tourists," Puck agreed as he shifted to lean against the wall and watch Kurt.

Kurt sat at the vanity. "Finn told me what happened with Jenna. I'm sorry."

"I'm not," Puck shrugged. "She was a bitch. We only stayed together as long as we did because of the publicity."

"Five minutes!" The stage manager knocked at the door and let the two men know that they were about to begin their first read through of the show.

Kurt sighed. "We should get together and catch up. Away from here."

"Yeah, that would be cool," Puck agreed, surprised to find that he meant it. "How about we get dinner after? That is, if you know some place we can go where we won't be mobbed?"

Kurt smiled. "I'll make reservations."

"Cool," Puck said again. "Um… I don't have to dress up do I?"

"The infamous Puck? I think they'd throw us out if you showed up in a tie." Kurt teased. "Don't worry." Kurt grabbed the script from the vanity and handed it to Puck. "You'll need this."

"Right," Puck said as he followed Kurt out towards the stage where the rest of the cast was already sitting around a table. Puck didn't know anyone, but Kurt seemed to know everyone there. In a way, it felt like the first days after he joined glee. But Kurt eventually took the seat beside Puck and the read through began.


Puck had to admit, the show was funnier than he had thought it would be. And the music wasn't bad either. They had sung through the songs as well as reading the script and that was at least one area he felt confident. His character didn't actually have as many songs as Kurt's, in fact, he only had one solo and one duet with Kurt, but he had kicked ass on those songs. He may not be a Broadway star, but Puck was a singer by profession and he knew how to work a song.

As he watch Kurt singing with another actor on the final number, he wondered how exactly his life had come back around to this. It was seven years since they had won Nationals and he had gotten out of Lima for good. While he'd kept in contact with Finn, Puck really hadn't ever expected to see Kurt again. Kurt might be famous here in New York, but that fame simply didn't translate to the rest of the world. They didn't run in the same circles and they didn't go to the same parties. And until a couple weeks ago, they had lived on opposite ends of the country.

Kurt hadn't change a whole lot in seven years. Sure he was a little older, but his face still looked baby soft and his eyes were still that same deep blue with just a hint of green. His shoulders were a little broader than they used to be, but Puck had met a lot of women with shoulders just as broad. And he still dressed in the flashiest clothes that Puck had ever seen. Considering he went to parties with Lady Gaga and Adam Lambert, that was saying something.

Some things were different. One of those things that had changed was his voice. Where Kurt had once struggled to keep his tonality on the higher end of his range, he was now able to belt out those same notes with a power that Rachel would have killed for in their glee days. There was also a confidence that had been lacking before. Sure, Kurt had always tried to play that he was self-assured, but there had always been a layer of fear and innocence and loneliness just below the surface. That vulnerability was gone now, or at least better hidden. Puck missed that softer side of his old friend.

Seven years. It seemed like a lifetime. They had just finished Nationals in their senior year, finally winning the coveted prize. Puck had done a kick ass cover of The Doors' "Light My Fire" that had gotten more attention than anyone could have expected. There happened to be a record producer as one of the guest judges and he was so taken by Puck that he'd come to talk to him after the competition.

At first Puck thought it was all some elaborate prank or something, but when the guy showed up in Lima with a contract and talked with his mom and Mr. Schue about everything, he got the feeling that maybe, just maybe, he had found his ticket out of Lima Ohio. He'd barely graduated and despite being a badass football player, Puck hadn't been offered a scholarship to college. In fact, the only school that even accepted him was the Allen County Community College. But here was this rich guy telling him that he could be on TV and play concerts for screaming chicks and rake in loads of dough.

Puck had packed his bags and never once looked back. Sure he kept in touch with Finn, and when Finn and Rachel moved to California after graduating from college, he saw them pretty regularly. But the rest of the gang? Not so much. It wasn't that he didn't like them or didn't care or some other shit. It was just that being famous was fucking hard work. There were always people watching everything you do and everything you said got printed online and in the tabloids. And staying on top of the game took a lot of effort and energy. It wasn't just about the music, he found out. There was a lot more to being a badass rock star than Puck had ever imagined.

"Ready to go?" Kurt asked.

Puck looked around them and realized that everyone was packing up to go. 'Sure, just let me get my jacket from the dressing room."

Five minutes later they were in a hired car and on their way to some private club that Kurt belonged to that catered to New York celebrities. They talked about the show and the other actors on the way over. Kurt knew everything about everyone in the cast and was more than willing to fill Puck in on all the gossip. Puck wasn't sure he needed to know that James, the guy playing Puck's bodyguard, used to date the girl who was playing the Norma. Or that she caught him fucking the male lighting director of the last show he was in. At least it kept the ride interesting.

They were let off outside an old building that looked rather nondescript to Puck, but there was a doorman outside who welcomed Kurt by name. Inside, they were greeted by a guy that Puck assumed was the manager by the way the other employees scurried around him.

"Kurt, it is so good to see you again," the guy said in an oily voice that Puck really didn't like. "It has been much too long. I was surprised to hear you requested a private parlor, but I can see now why." He looked Puck and down and Puck growled at him in response. He felt infinitely better when the man looked startled and fearful.

"If you could just show us to the salon, Henri," Kurt said with a smirk. The man nodded and soon they took the small elevator up to the third floor and were shown to a small private room. Puck looked around even as he removed his jacket and tossed it onto the armchair by the window. The room looked like something out of one of those historical romance movies that Jenna used to like. There was a sofa and two armchairs on one side of the room and a small dining table near the fireplace on the other side of the room. There was already a bottle of champagne chilling in an ice bucket beside the table.

"Nice digs," Puck said once they were alone. "That Henri guy's a dick, though."

"He is," Kurt agreed. "He thought I was bringing you up here for sex."

Puck nodded. "I figured that."

"You don't mind?" Kurt wondered.

"After all that shit about me and Adam Lambert a couple years ago?" Puck chuckled. "Hell, my popularity went up that month and I sold more singles on itunes than any other artist. So no, I don't care what the fuck he thinks."

"Well, no matter what Henri thinks, he won't be telling anyone that you're even here, let alone with me," Kurt said. "If he did, this place would lose its revenue. This club was built on the promise of privacy and discretion."

"A lot of people use this place for sex?" Puck wondered as he walked to the table and poured two glasses of champagne for them.

Kurt took the glass Puck handed him. "Yes. They also come for private business deals and just to get away from the gawkers and press."

"Why do you come here?" Puck wondered.

Kurt flushed. "I had a lover who was not out. We used to meet here. After the relationship ended, I still came, but usually only to the public dining room."

Puck wasn't really sure what to say tot hat, but he was saved from needing to answer when a soft knock came to the door. Kurt let in their waiter and soon they were discussing food and wine and Puck requested beer, much to Kurt's obvious amusement. When they were finally left alone again, it was natural for the conversation to move in a new direction.

"So, how did you end up on Broadway?" Puck asked. "I mean, I know this is what you wanted. You never made a secret of your dream to be the next… whoever. You and Rachel both. But Rachel ended up in LA doing voiceovers and animation voices. But you're here."

Kurt smiled. "Well, you got your offer from the recording label, but I got a different sort of offer at Nationals that year. One of the oldest and wealthiest patrons of Broadway saw the performance. He was… a dear man who was lonely. He never once even asked for sex, but he loved having me around for companionship and I suppose for something to look at. In return, he bankrolled my first show. He died before the show was open for six months."

Kurt was quiet for a few minutes as if lost in memories. Then he shook himself from those thoughts and smiled at Puck. "Anyway, Andy was alone when he died. No kids and his longtime lover had died a few years before. About half of his estate went to charities, but he left me a fortune, enough to keep me in designer labels for the rest of my life without ever having to work again. The show got rave reviews, despite the fact that I was a boy playing a girls' part—or maybe because of it—and I've had steady offers for work since, most of the time for the lead female role, though I did play the Emcee in Cabaret a while back. I usually work for six months and then take a break before going on to the next project."

"Yeah, Finn never mentioned a sugar daddy," Puck said.

Kurt laughed. "He wouldn't. He doesn't know. If he had known, he would have said something stupid in front of my father and that would have been a disaster. No, as far as my family is concerned, Andy was like a mentor to me. They know he left me some money when he died, but not how much. They certainly don't know I used to… well, never mind that."

Puck leered and said, "No… now you have to tell me."

Kurt blushed again. "God, I didn't even think I was capable of blushing anymore. Okay fine. Andy liked to see me dress up in costumes. Usually kinky things, like a sexy nurse or a maid's outfit. It was the most sexual things ever got between us, but he never once laid a hand on me. He'd just watch me parade around in the outfit and jerk off."

"Better than a casting couch, I suppose," Puck said with a chuckle. "Still a little weird."

"Yeah," Kurt said with a smile. "But like I said, Andy was a sweetheart. He would charter a private jet and fly me to Paris for the weekend if I mentioned that I was craving an éclair. Everything he did, he went overboard, but in a sweet and romantic way. We lived together for about a year before he died."

"And you've been a wealthy widow ever since," Puck said.

"Sure have," Kurt agreed. "My life is everything I could have ever dreamed it would be."


Kurt gave him a sad smile. "Except love. When I accepted Andy's offer, I had to break things off with Blaine. He was my first real love and I think we might have made it if I hadn't chosen money and fame over him. Since then, I've had lovers but never love." Kurt took a deep breath and let it out slowly. "Just listen to me! You'd think I was miserable or something. Honestly, I love my life."

"Yeah," Puck said. "I'm sure you do."

The waiter delivered their food and they took a few minutes to settle at the table and try everything before Puck started the conversation back up.

"I know what you mean about getting everything you thought you wanted and still wanting more," Puck said.

"Being a badass rock star not everything you dreamed it would be?" Kurt asked. Seven years ago, his tone would have been snide, but now it was actually sympathetic and interested.

Puck paused to finish the bite he was chewing. "Well, it's cool and all. I love the money and the music and performing and all that. But the press and the… expectations start to wear on me sometimes. That and… I guess this breakup with Jenna has got me rethinking a lot of shit. I didn't love her. In fact, I could barely stand her. But I was with her for almost two years. Why?"

"You said it was for the publicity before," Kurt said.

"It was," Puck said. "But my love life should not be a means of making more money and selling more records. That's just bullshit."

"I sold myself for a year and you've sold yourself for seven," Kurt said with sympathy.

Puck snorted. "Not seven years. Just the last two. Before Jenna… well, I was the Puckasaurus."

"A sex shark," Kurt said with a laugh.

"Exactly." Puck was glad they were laughing and smiling. He didn't want to spend all night bemoaning his fate.

"So tell me the truth," Kurt said. "You and Adam Lambert?"

Puck laughed. "Nothing to tell. Not really. We hung out a few times and he needed an escort to some charity event so I took him."

"So you've never…?"

"Slept with him?" Puck asked. "Or slept with any guy?"

Kurt sat back startled that Puck would need to make that distinction to answer the question. "Any guy." Puck just smirked at him. "That's not very nice. That's the same thing you do when all those reporters and interviewers ask you about your sexuality. You just clam up and smirk at them."

"It's better to keep people guessing," Puck said with a laugh.

Kurt had to agree with that to some degree. "You know, in high school you would have decked anyone who even dared to ask you that question."

"Things change," Puck said.