Disclaimer: All rights and characters belong to the BBC and Steven Moffat. Nothing is mine but the creativity and storyline.
She had pictures of thirteen of his regenerations.
She had memorized every single thing about every single one of them. Every line, every curve, every strand of hair, every pore of skin – everything. That way, she knew it would be so much easier for her to accept the next time he regenerated.
But she always feared what would happen after his thirteenth. Would he still remember her? Would she remember him? Would she recognise him from his eyes alone – his eyes that, she realised, never changed no matter how many times he regenerated. They, thankfully, still maintained their wisdom; their ancient wisdom that she adored.
Another one of her fears was if he was to change. Not his face or his clothes (or his mannerisms, even)... But if he changed. If he changed so much, it wasn't just a matter of him now knowing or not knowing certain things about her – it was a matter of him not wanting to know her anymore. If he, in his new body, was able to walk away without any regrets – not even wanting to go back to her.
But she would always take him back. Always.
So it was always a terrifying ordeal when he regenerates again.
River Song may seem like a strong woman – but when it comes to the Doctor even the smallest of things he does have the power to break her.
Because he is her Doctor. And she wouldn't have it any other way.
It's also why she can't bear to loose him. Because what would she be without her Doctor? Even the very thought sent shivers down her spine.
And one of the most terrifying regenerations River ever witnessed was his twelfth.
It had happened so fast. And he was in so much pain.
He hadn't spent enough time in his eleventh body yet. This wasn't right.
It seemed to happen in slow motion. Her legs weighed her body as she started to run down the beach, towards her Doctor. It felt like she was trapped in one of those dreams – the ones where your legs don't seem to take you anywhere no matter how fast you run.
That's what it was like. And she felt completely helpless.
But as she watched the blue orb hit the Doctor hard, throwing him backwards, and as he desperately stood up again, the dazzling golden tendrils shine from his face and hands. The sorrow she saw on his face then, completely broke her heart.
She glanced at the Astronaut that had just taken Eleven away from her, and noticed a flickering light on the left arm of the suit. She knew exactly what it meant – it was charging something. And even Rory could have figured out what it was. After it had just taken her eleventh Doctor away from her – it was no surprise her instincts kicked in. Protect the Doctor.
Was it just fate that the split second before that new wave of energy would have killed the Doctor, River reached into the holster resting on her hip, withdrew her gun and...
It didn't take long for River to grow tired of Amy and Rory's frantic questions. They must have asked about a hundred in the short time it took for River to carefully rush the Doctor back to the TARDIS, all the while the glowing becoming more and more prominent; the Doctor screaming in agony.
Fighting the tears, she ignored the pair of blithering idiots (it's a good thing they were married – they could be idiots together) and slammed the TARDIS doors shut behind them. The Doctor immediately slumped to the floor, his head covered in his hands. The glowing had stopped, as had his screaming, and it was eerily silent apart from the steady groan of the TARDIS.
She knew it had happened. So fast. Too fast.
Lowering onto her knees, River slowly reached out an arm to the Doctor, as Amy and Rory – standing behind her – exchanged bewildered glances of both confusion and concern. River fought her own tears, as her hand rest on the Doctor's coat. A whole new Doctor – a Doctor she couldn't help but think of as her own. Her Doctor. But was he her Doctor anymore?
There was a pause, before River breathed, "Doctor?"
The new Doctor lifted his head, his expression plain on his taught face. His newly black curls shaped around his head in an ironic halo, and a small smile played on his curved, full lips. His cheekbones were much more hollowed in then the previous Doctor, and his neck was elegantly long. In fact, everything about him was long. As he scrambled to his feet, River soon realised that the previous Doctor's clothes were a few inches too short on his arms and legs – yet baggy. He was slim; extremely slim. And extremely tall, River found, as his long legs extended and he was towering over her. She couldn't decide whether it was threatening or exciting.
But River didn't care about any of that. She didn't care how tall or how thin he was. She didn't care about the colour of his hair or how very fair his skin was. She didn't care about what his voice was like, or what his mannerisms would consist of – she didn't care about his interests or his new favourite foods and colours; she didn't care. All she cared about was his eyes.
Her heart soared. They were the same. Still her same old Doctor.
After a beat, the new Doctor said, in a voice so rich and deep it was like his throat was made of velvet, "What are you all staring at?"
River looked to Rory and Amy, who were stood frozen, both their jaws hanging open loosely. She admits, it is a lot to take in, but not horrifying. At least not in the way for Amy to be clutching Rory's arm like her life depended on it.
The Doctor rolled his eyes and tutted, beginning to talk again. He had perfect teeth. "New face, new Doctor – you'll get used to it. Now!" He clapped his hands together, drawing River's attention to them and she saw how long and thin his fingers were – yet his hands were still large. Very large. "Time for a change of clothes." And at that, he breezed past River and the two gawking idiots before him and casually strolled up the TARDIS stairs and out of sight. River couldn't help chuckling.
Amy immediately broke away from Rory and closed the space between her and River, glaring at the blonde from under her brow. Rory just hung back and let his wife take over, as always. "River," Amy hissed, "What the hell was that?"
River smirked and pushed past the Scottish red-head, over to the TARDIS controls to randomly fiddle with the buttons, Rory and Amy in tow. "A regeneration," River declared, almost proudly, before making her way over to the monitor and switching it on. It just showed snowy signal for a moment, until River twisted a knob and the screen showed the Doctor in his overly-large dressing room. The racks were filled with every item of clothing imaginable, but River couldn't help but sigh in disappointment as she noticed the rack of bow-ties in the far corner.
The Doctor was filing through the racks, studying pieces of clothing here and there, sneering at some, raising his eyebrows at others and grinning at a few more.
Rory and Amy never even glanced at the screen, just glowered at River, willing her to give them more answers to questions they hadn't even asked yet. Sometimes it infuriated her, but she just continued smirking and watched the Doctor parade around the dressing room, until he finally undid the suspenders and unbuttoned his shirt, showing a very pale, slightly bony chest. River already knew what kind of things she would get up to with that chest; and grinned uncontrollably.
Her seedy train of thought was interrupted as Amy snapped, "And a 'regeneration' is?"
River tutted and spun to face her, her smirk faded. "A regeneration is a Time-Lord form of immortality. Once the body is damaged beyond repair or dying, Time-Lord DNA is re-written, giving a new face, new brain; everything."
Rory clicked on before Amy did, "So... you're saying that this is a new man." River nodded, turning back to the screen where the Doctor was removing his trousers. She frowned. It seemed this Doctor knew exactly what she got up to, and had hid his lower body behind a rack heavy with clothes.
Amy knit his eyebrows. "So he isn't the Doctor anymore?"
"Oh, he's still the Doctor," River assured her, not even glancing at the girl she was talking to, "Still Time-Lord, still Gallifreyan, still utterly amazing."
At this, Amy turned to the screen, which was now just showing an empty room. River was smiling, and looked at something past both Amy and Rory. They both turned, and saw the Doctor stood in the doorway before the stairs, wearing a very plush black suit, with a striking purple shirt, shiny pointed shoes and a very large, very warm trench coat.
He winked at River, and then turned to the two staring at him. "What do you think?"
A/N: Not the best... But I hope it's okay. I hope you enjoyed reading! Should I leave it there or continue? But just to let you know, if you want me to continue, it is definitely 100% going to be River/The Doctor; no doubt about it. So, yeah... Review, please!