Originally written as my contribution for the charity drive to raise money after the Australian floods.
Much love to the awesome TwiAussies!
ThisTwilight one shot is based on Lady Antebellum's song Need You Now. My thanks to Kristi, Mel and Lisa J for their work on this piece. Thank you to the awesome, MDealsWithIt, for creating the banner. We hooked up via twificpics. com.
Bonus! Lady Antebellum just won an American Grammy for the Song of the Year for this little ditty!
This story is rated M for a reason!
Need You Now
Friday nights weren't my night. I understood. It wasn't their fault, so why should they suffer?
But, even though Friday nights weren't my night, Rose and Alice still stopped by before heading out.
"This is just so stupid," Rose complained. She said it every week.
Didn't change a thing.
"You guys don't have to come here on Fridays, you know," I told them. I said this every week.
Didn't change a thing.
"It's not your fault we're not together, and there's no reason for you to suffer."
"There's no reason for any of us to be suffering. You're not seeing anyone. He's not seeing anyone. Why don't you just get back together?"
"You know why."
"No, I don't. I don't know why. None of us know why."
"We just don't work, Rose. All we ever did was fight."
Alice snorted. "That's not all you did."
I blushed. Every one of our friends had walked in on us at some point in the past three years. My relationship with Edward had been volatile and passionate. He'd get that look in his eye, or I'd get a whiff of his intoxicating scent and the next thing you knew we were christening the closest horizontal surface.
"Where are you going tonight?" I asked, not thinking that I might not want to hear the answer.
Alice and Rose exchanged looks.
Not one to beat around the bush, Rose said, "The guys thought that Edward might have some luck there." She made reference to our usual watering hole with a challenging arch of her brow.
"I get it, Rose. No need to paint a picture."
"Well, paint this; if you don't do something soon, he will find someone else."
"He should find someone else, Rose. Edward Cullen and I are not meant to be." My pronouncement was met with skeptical silence.
"It's getting late," Alice finally said. "We should…."
"Yeah." I nodded. "Go, have a good time. Tell Jasper and Emmett I said, 'Hi.' See you tomorrow."
Both girls hugged me before leaving. I closed the door behind them and looked at the clock. 9:00; too early to go to sleep, too late to find someone else to hang out with. Walking to the kitchen, I grabbed a bottle of red off the counter and a glass from the cabinet over the sink. I went back to the living room and plopped on the couch. Pouring a glass, I drank deeply while staring out the window at the incessant rain.
Friday night was my night. Emmett, Jasper, and I were already at the bar, sitting at a large wooden table off to the side of the room. Wings and beer were consumed at an equal rate. Every time the door opened one or the other of them would check out who was arriving. The girls were late.
"What's taking Rose and Alice so long?" I asked.
Both guys shot me guilty looks before quickly looking away.
Friday nights were my nights, but I had long suspected Alice and Rose spent some time with Bella on Fridays, too.
"It's alright, you know. No big deal. She was their friend first." I meant it.
Emmett broke first.
"No, it's not alright. Nothing's alright anymore. This is the most fucked up situation ever! Why the fuck can't you two just…just…. Whatever! I'm tired of this shit. Friday nights with you. Saturday nights with her. You two don't want to get back together, so what difference does it make if we all hang out?"
Jasper looked at Emmett incredulously. I agreed with him.
"Yeah, cause that won't be awkward," I told Emmett. "Hey, Bella, can you watch my beer while I go hit on that chick over there? I'll babysit your pretzels while some guy gropes your ass later. Thanks."
Jasper snorted. The door opened again and both my friends spun around to see who was coming in. This time their vigilance was rewarded. Their girls made their way over to the table and sat in two of the three unoccupied chairs. I watched as the happy couples greeted one another.
I snagged the waitress as she walked past. "Whiskey," I told her. "Bring the bottle."
I was three glasses into the bottle when I finally succumbed and pulled out the photo albums. At first I paged through them thoughtfully, remembering fondly the times the six of us had enjoyed together.
Honestly, I hated him. Well, hated the way he made me feel: helpless and hopeful...needy. I hated how he consumed my thoughts. How every decision I made was made with him in mind. I wasn't myself when I was with him. Even when he wasn't with me, he was there. I fought with him. I fought against losing myself, drowning in him.
When I was with Edward, all I wanted was to be with Edward. When I wasn't with him, I only thought about being with him. Before I knew him, I had been a different person. I was independent and interesting. I had plans and aspirations. When we started dating, I started losing track of whole days. Being with Edward had made me feel content. When he was around, I didn't want to see what was around the next corner. I didn't want to know the answers…hell, half the time I couldn't remember the questions.
And then he asked me. None of our friends were getting married. We were still young. Just 23. No need to rush. I saw the pain in his eyes when I turned him down. It wasn't that I didn't want him; I just didn't want to settle down. He knelt before me, a black velvet box with his mother's ring shining up at me, hurt radiating from his face. I wasn't ready for the white picket fence and 2.4 kids. He told me that I was it for him. There was no reason to wait. I told him he was it for me, too. Why wasn't that enough?
It just wasn't.
I started pulling pictures from the album, Edward and me standing on an outcropping of rock over a pool of clear water in the woods about three miles from here. The six of us gathered around a wooden table at the bar. Edward in a low slung pair of board shorts in the sand at the beach. The two of us kissing with fireworks in the sky behind us.
I continued pulling pictures from the album, studying them and letting them flutter to the floor. Where was that wine bottle?
Alice and Rose had gone to the bathroom. What was it with chicks hitting the head together? I asked Bella about it once, but she just got all mysterious and laughed at me.
"Hey," Emmett called, getting my attention. He nodded his head towards the bar where a pretty girl with short blonde hair was looking our way. I turned back towards Emmett and shrugged.
"C'mon man! She's been looking at you for like a half hour. Go over there."
"I don't feel like it, Emmett," I told him, throwing back another shot of whiskey. I glanced over at the door, half expecting Bella to come sweeping in the way she did before.
"Why the fuck not? Christ, Edward, you're not a monk and she's got a bitchin' rack. You don't need to marry her, just go say hi."
When he made reference to getting married, I flinched. Emmett didn't notice, but Jasper did.
"Edward," Jasper said looking at me like he'd never seen me before. "What exactly happened with you and Bella?"
"Yeah, man. I want to know, too. What happened?" Emmett chimed in.
My mouth twisted. I didn't want to talk about this.
"I need to take a piss," I told them, getting up quickly and striding away. I stayed in the bathroom a lot longer than necessary. When I returned to the table, Emmett was holding my phone, which I had abandoned in my effort to get away quickly.
"You got a text." He said it innocently. Too innocently.
I swallowed my anger at Emmett's invasion of my privacy. "Oh yeah, from who?" I growled.
Busted, Emmett just shrugged. "Lauren."
I should have realized from the dark looks I was getting from Alice and Rosalie that the text was from a girl.
Like most people in our extended circle of acquaintances, Lauren knew that Bella and I weren't together anymore. She had made it more than clear that she was happy to be my rebound. I slipped the phone into my pocket without looking at it. That seemed to appease the girls, but I hadn't done it for them. I had no interest in Lauren or any of the other women we knew.
Sitting down, I downed another shot while I stared, unseeing, at the wall.
My eyes flew over the dozens of pictures on the floor. Dozens of memories scattered across the worn Berber. Despite my resolve, hot tears were pricking my eyes. I downed the last of the wine and fell back on the couch.
I needed him. Now. Picking up my cell, I pressed and held 1 to activate my speed dial….
Lauren must be desperate. She had texted me a half dozen times tonight. Emmett and Jasper watched incredulously as I checked each message, and pocketed my phone over and over again. I could hear them tittering like two old ladies, from where they were standing at the bar. They were wondering when I'd break.
I wasn't going to break for the likes of Lauren Mallory.
I downed the last of the whiskey. I'd had more than my fair share, but was only buzzing. Speaking of buzzing, my phone was going off again. I pulled it out in aggravation and glanced at the screen.
I thumbed it opened and brought it to my ear quickly.
"I'll be right there," I said, before she could speak. I heard her exhale, a distinct sound of relief, before I closed my phone with a snap. I stood up and caught Emmett and Jasper looking at me. I nodded once to them. They nodded back slowly, Emmett with a grin, Jasper with a resigned look.
I turned to head towards the door. I could see both Alice and Rose making a beeline for me, but they were intercepted by their respective boyfriends. Both girls were putting up a fight in an effort to get to me before I left. No doubt they thought I was finally giving in to Lauren's less than subtle offers.
I snagged a 6-pack from the cooler near the door and caught the bartender's eye. He nodded and I took off, knowing Jasper and Emmett would pick up the cost when they settled the tab later.
I sat on the couch, my phone still in my hand. I realized that I was straining to hear the sounds of his bike roaring down the road. I should be embarrassed, right? My need for him overrode my common sense. I can't believe I called him.
Then again, he offered to come. Immediately. I didn't even have to say anything. As soon as he answered the phone he said he was on his way. What if…what if he hadn't checked his caller ID? What if he didn't know it was me? Who was he on his way to see? And, why did I care?
Wait…. Was that…? Imperceptibly at first, but then louder and louder, I could hear Edward's bike approaching the house. Panicked now, I stood quickly and looked around the room. What a mess! The photographs I had gone through earlier were everywhere; the empty wine bottle was on its side next to my empty glass. I quickly righted the tumbled bottle as the sound of the motorcycle's engine cut off. I froze, listening to Edward's heavy tread as he approached the door. One step, two…three.
Would he knock? Would I answer?
Three sharp raps sounded against my wooden door. I startled, even though I had expected the sound, and took two faltering steps. Before I could reach the door, however, it swung open.
Edward stood, framed by the door. He didn't say anything. I realized I had clasped my hands before me and my elbows were tight against my side. I took in the sight of him. Boots, long, denim-clad legs, long-sleeved, grey waffle weave Henley under an open, plaid flannel button down. My eyes continued their journey. Two days scruff covered his angular jaw. His eyes…his eye were cold, hard…hesitant? Uncertainty didn't look natural on Edward.
I watched as his eyes were drawn to my mouth. I realized I had bit my lower lip in concern, afraid he'd only made the trip to confront me, belittle me, tell me I was crazy for calling him. Instead, I watched as his eyes softened, as he took in my palpable nervousness.
He stepped into the room, letting the door swing shut behind him.
I tried to talk myself out of this insane idea all the way to Bella's house. While my mind grappled with the should I/shouldn't I dilemma, my body steered the bike along the familiar path to her house automatically. I parked in the drive way, behind her ancient, beat up Chevy and climbed the stairs to her door.
Before I could talk myself out of this, I knocked on the door. I thought I heard her approach, but I suddenly couldn't wait, I tried the knob and pushed the unlocked door open. I froze in the doorway, taking in the sight before me, like a starving man.
Bella always looked fabulous to me, and tonight was no exception. Despite myself, I stared at her, dazed. Slowly, I became of aware that she was staring at me, too. I had seen the wine bottle and the mess all over the room. Was she drunk? Did she remember calling me? Did she mean to call me? I hadn't given her a chance to say anything when I answered. Did she even want me here?
Then she bit her lip, and I knew. Biting her lip was Bella's tell. She only did it when she was nervous. She wasn't angry or confused, she was worried. My hesitation left me and I stepped into the room, letting the door close behind me.
I don't know if she came to me, or if I went to her. Perhaps, we met somewhere in the middle. All I knew was that for the first time in two months my hands were in Bella's hair and my lips were on Bella's mouth.
Touching her was as sweet as it had ever been. I felt her arms come up around my shoulders, her fingers tickling my neck before twisting in my hair. The familiar sounds and smells of Bella surrounded me and I was lost.
My hands slid down her back, relearning the shape and feel of her. When I reached her waist, I stopped to slide my hands around her tiny middle before reversing the journey, running my fingertips up her sides. I brushed against the sides of her full breasts eliciting a tiny gasp from her perfect mouth, allowing me to invade her with my tongue. The taste of red wine mixed with the whiskey on my breath was not unpleasant.
Her arms slid down from my shoulders, her palms flat against my chest and abs before she hooked her fingers in my belt loops and pulled me closer. She was so warm, pressed against me. My arms circled around her again, and I lifted her off her feet. I tilted my head up to keep our mouths pressed together now that her head was higher than my own. Three fast steps had us at the couch where I lowered her carefully, before dropping to my knees before her.
Once she was settled, Bella pulled her mouth away from mine with a gasping breath, baring her throat to me. Wasting no time, I swiped my pointed tongue along the graceful column. She moaned, as I knew she would, when I reached the hollow at the base of her throat and placed a kiss there.
I slid my hands under her shirt, moving them up quickly to cup her satin-covered breasts. Her breath quickened, and I redoubled my efforts on her neck, sucking lightly just below her ear. Her hands weren't idle all this time. She ran them up my arms, up my neck, through my hair, down my back and around again. I had asked her once why she did that.
"Because you like it," she had replied. She was right. I found the path of her hands comforting, yet stimulating. I liked to think that she couldn't keep her hands off me, that she wanted to touch me everywhere at once, and that this was the closest she could come.
I ran my thumbs over her still covered nipples and felt them respond under the satin. I pinched them lightly and Bella let out a familiar moan. Everything about this scenario was familiar, but that made it all the more intense. I missed this, missed her. Not just her smoking hot body, but the comfort I always found in our joining.
Bella's hands slid up my chest once more, this time pushing the material of my flannel shirt off my shoulders. I eased away from her to pull my arms out. Immediately, her hands went to the hem of my Henley, pulling it up and tossing it away.
From my position over her I could watch her brown eyes darken as she took in my bare chest. I had taken to working out more frequently to ease some of my frustration over the last two months. While I wasn't flabby before, I knew I'd gained definition these last few weeks. Bella licked her lips and I silently congratulated myself on her obvious appreciation.
Now that I was naked from the waist up, it was her turn. I brought my hands to the hem of her shirt and started to slide it up. She put her hands on mine, and I felt a gentle pressure as if she were trying to stop me.
I slowed down. Instead of trying to undress her, I leaned in and started kissing her collarbone. Slowly, gently, back and forth along the exposed line. I felt the tension in her body ease. Her hands slid up my back again and she held my head to her, giving me just enough room to move to the other side. I felt her raise her hips against me and knew she wanted more. I went to the hem of her shirt again, this time successfully pulling it over her head and tossing it away.
I leaned back to take in the sight before me. Bella was still arched forward, eyes closed, her breasts straining against the material of her bra. That wouldn't do. I threw my arms around her, sliding my fingers along the smooth material of her bra band. There was no clasp? I shook my head before realizing that I was so distracted by my half-naked Bella I'd missed the front clasp on her bra.
Popping it open was the work of just a moment. Her breasts sprang free, and I dived in to feast like the starving man I was. I sucked her pert nipple into my mouth. She cried out an incoherent sound before clasping me to her chest. I licked and nipped at one hardened peak before moving to the other and back again. In moments she was rocking against me. And then she said it…my name, deep and throaty, more a moan, than a word.
Like a man possessed, I pulled away from her. She cried out. I stood swiftly, toed off my boots, pushed my jeans and boxers down in one swift movement and fell back to my knees, winding my arm around her waist and pulling her against me hard.
She was panting, the movements of her hips grinding her warm center against my rampant cock. The rough denim bringing me both pleasure and pain.
She moaned again and bucked against me. Things were quickly reaching the point of no return. I needed her naked. Now.
I brought my hands to the button on her jeans. With my last bit of uncertainty, I looked at her face and saw nothing but want and need. There was no hesitation or regret. I popped the button and lowered the zipper. She raised her hips, and I slid her jeans down her legs, kissing the skin of her thighs and knees as I uncovered them.
Tossing her pants aside, my eyes were drawn to the scrap of lace that covered the Promised Land. They were pretty; pink, like her bra, little white dots…and they needed to be gone. I reached down and yanked them. The silky material slid down easily. When I got to her knees, she raised her legs, so I could toss them aside more easily. She moved to lower her legs, but I was having none of that. Grasping her knees, I pulled her legs over my shoulders and lowered my head to her hot, wet pussy.
She cried out with the first touch. Her fingers buried themselves in my hair, and she pulled me against her hard, cutting off my ability to breathe through my nose. I could not have cared less. When it came to sex, Bella and I had always been on the same page.
I feasted on her flesh, licking and sucking. I turned my head and sucked hard on the flesh of her hip, knowing I'd leave an angry red mark for her to remember this by. The entire time she bucked against me, incoherent sounds falling from her lips.
Sliding two fingers into her warm heat, I started a hard series of licks to her clit that I knew would finish her off in mere moments. I felt her walls start to close rhythmically around my fingers, and strained to hear her sounds.
"God…oh, oh, oh…fuck, Edward…. Don't stop, don't…don't….auuggghhh!"
I pulled back slightly, before shoving my whole face between her legs. It might not be romantic, but I loved when she'd ride my face, smearing herself over me. It was hot and the smell of her would linger until I showered.
I might never shower again.
Bella's bucking subsided. I made my way up her body, kissing a trail up her stomach and around her belly button. When I reached her breasts, I licked each peak, eliciting a hiss, as her oversensitive flesh reacted to my rough tongue.
No longer willing to wait, I groped around for my pants and pulled out my wallet, snatching out the condom I started carrying when I was pissed at Bella. Ripping it open with my teeth, I grabbed myself and started to unroll the latex.
"Why are you… oh." Bella's eyes slid away from me.
"No!" Shit! Bella and I hadn't used a condom in over two years. She thought the condom meant I'd been with someone else. "I mean, I…uh… I just thought…I…I haven't…um, with anyone, since…well…. Fuck!"
"Oh. Okay, um…me neither. I mean, I haven't…."
Tossing the condom aside, I drew back between her parted knees and paused, looking at her. The concern that had been there when she thought about my reason for using a condom was already gone. Her eyes were hooded, only the dim reflection of the lamp in her pupils letting me know they were open at all. Holding myself back, I reached out and ran my hand down her front, from her neck, between her breasts, down her soft stomach, stopping when I reached the downy triangle between her legs. I slid my finger down into her soft, wet folds and easily found her swollen clit. I nudged it once and looked at her carefully.
"Can you go again?" I asked her. Bella could often come two or three times when we'd been apart for more than a few days.
She grabbed my hand, holding it to her with a hissed, "Yes." Her free hand wandered across her stomach to her breast, where she pinched and rolled her nipple.
"Fuck, Bella," I whispered hoarsely. Using my free hand, I guided myself into her warm, wet depths. It was like coming home. I slid out immediately before thrusting back in, nudging her clit at the same time.
Setting the pace, I eased myself back and forth with increasing vigor. I stroked her clit a few more times before leaning forward to kiss her mouth. I thrust my tongue into her in time with the thrusts of my hips. Bella made a strangled sound with each of my attacks.
It had been too long. I wasn't going to last and I needed her to come for me again.
"God, Bella, please…." I wrenched my mouth from hers and moved to her neck, kissing, licking, and sucking lightly. She tossed her head back and forth, whimpering and crying out, each involuntary sound sending a thrill straight to my cock.
"Fuck, baby, I'm gonna'…." Before I could confess to my inability to hold off, Bella let out a keening wail and I felt her clamp around me, setting off my orgasm.
I collapsed against her, moving my hands to her waist, as she ran hers through my hair. We stayed like that until our breathing evened out and I heard her sigh. I pulled away from her, allowing her to shift onto her side, so she could lie down on the couch. I stared at her for a moment before reaching for my pants again. Her eyes flew to mine. I froze and watched her as she struggled with what she wanted to say.
The silence stretched out. I was starting to feel uncomfortable, naked on my knees.
"Stay…." She reached her hand out to me.
I dropped my pants and nodded once. She scooted forward, making a space for me behind her. I grabbed the throw that was tossed over the back of the couch before sliding in behind her. She wiggled her ass, getting closer to me. I slid my arm around her middle and pulled her against me tight before throwing the blanket over us both.
At some point in the night, Bella had turned over. When the faint light coming through the windows woke me, her face was nestled against my chest. I could feel her soft exhales. Slowly, carefully, gently, I slid out from behind her. I gathered my clothes and walked to the bathroom. I brushed my teeth with Bella's toothbrush before dressing silently and walking back into the living room.
I pulled on my boots and stuffed the unused condom and wrapper into my pocket. I walked to the door and opened it quietly. Before leaving, I looked back one more time at the woman who was the only one for me. Last night was fantastic, amazing, and many other superlatives, but ultimately…
It didn't change a thing.