Disclaimer: Glee is not mine.
People who say they sleep like a baby usually don't have any.
-Leo J. Burke
This time it's real.
The baby may have taken it's time deciding to come but now that it had decided, it was clearly in a rush, judging by the ferocity of Rachel's contractions. They'd been coming hard and quick and just like last time Rachel suffered through them by taking it out on him. He bore it valiantly, choosing to focus on the baby and not on the curses and threats spewing from Rachel's mouth.
"Here comes another one. Get ready." He held out his hand, trying not to wince when Rachel gripped it. As usual, the steady stream of expletives flew out of her mouth until the contraction rendered her unable to speak and she simply dug her nails into his hand. "Almost done. Another ten seconds. You're doing amazing."
Exhausted, she sank back into the pillows and glared at him, waiting a moment before continuing their conversation the contraction had interrupted. "As I was saying, it's not my fault you have a stupid last name that goes with nothing unless you're an explorer."
"Huh?" He picked up the baby name book Rachel had thrown to the foot of the bed once the contraction had started. "Explorer?"
"Henry Hudson? The man the river is named after?" she snapped upon seeing his blank expression. "I hope our children take after me in school."
He ignored that, randomly flipping through the book. "How about Luke?"
"Luke." She mulled it over for a moment before her eyes narrowed. "No."
"Why not? It's an awesome name," he defended. "And what makes you so sure it's a boy?"
"You just want to go all Han Solo and say 'Luke I'm your dad' when he's born," she retorted before her face took on a smug expression. "And I'm so sure it's a boy because I know what I know."
"Ok first of all, it's Darth Vader who says 'Luke, I am your father.' And B, that would be awesome to say when he's born." He stared at her suspiciously. "Third of all, how exactly do you know what you know?"
"Did you call Ava?" she asked in answer.
"Yeah she was watching some new princess movie my mom got her with Burt but don't try and change the subject," he bossed. "What do you know?"
She didn't answer, grabbing his hand as another contraction hit. Her grip tightened as she rode out the contraction and exhausted, she lay back and closed her eyes, ignoring the look Finn was giving her.
"Rachel. What do you know?" he asked again. "Does this have anything to do with those secret meetings you've been having with Kurt?"
"Maybe. Maybe not." She shrugged noncommittally.
"I hope you're not planning on using that tone on your son," she huffed. "Not that I'll be pushing sports but I hope you're not as mean to him when you watch sports together as you are to me."
"You're serious?" He stared at her, stunned. "I'm gonna have a son?"
"Isn't that what I just said?" she snapped. "Why do you insist on not listening to me?"
"A son. I'm gonna have a son," he repeated, elated. "I mean, another daughter would be amazing but you're sure?"
"Of course I'm sure. I saw it on the file at the doctor's appointment you didn't come to," she replied, glancing at the monitor in a contraction check. "Kurt and I immediately began mapping out a boy theme for the nursery. We've decided on a train theme by the way."
"I should get to name him then." He stared at her. "You got to do everything else."
"Yes, and it's such a joy to be the lucky one suffering through contractions and labor in this hospital bed," she mocked. "If you didn't have a stupid explorer last name, we could name him after Daddy."
"You cheated and then told Kurt," he pointed out, ignoring her insult but secretly glad his last name didn't go with the name Hiram. "I want Luke."
"No." She glared at him. "I'm not having the first words our son hears be some stupid Star Trek quote."
"Star Wars. It's Star Wars and it's an awesome quote," he corrected, glancing at the monitor. "Get ready."
"It's stupid either way." She gripped his hand once more, screaming through the contraction. For a third time, she sank back with a glare. "And I've told you repeatedly. I'm perfectly capable of reading a monitor so stop telling me when a contraction is coming. It's annoying."
"I'll stop if we name him Luke," he replied carefully.
Rachel narrowed her eyes. "Middle name Hiram."
"Only if I get to say Luke I am your father in a Darth Vader voice when he comes out," he countered.
"Fine but only once. I hear it again and I get to name our next child anything I want." She stared at him defiantly. "Anything."
"I can't be held responsible for Burt saying it but deal." He kissed her forehead, not noticing the door open.
"How are we doing, Rachel?" Dr. Woo asked, checking the read out from her monitors. "Looks like you're about ready to go. Ready to meet your baby?"
"I've been dying to meet my son," Rachel announced as the nurses began moving about the room and arranging her bed. Dr. Woo glanced up as he settled between her legs and she nodded at him excitedly. "It's ok, Dr. Woo. We know."
"Well let's get this baby out then." He gave out instructions as he got into position.
Rachel, her body working from memory, screamed through the first few groups of pushes, yelling at Finn each time once she was able to. He bore it heroically, holding onto her leg as she pushed, the thought of meeting his son foremost on his mind.
As he'd done with Ava's birth, he kept a careful eye on things going on between Rachel's legs, watching anxiously for any sign of a baby. He was rewarded after about twenty minutes of pushing with the first glimpse of dark hair and he grinned, prepared to tell Rachel everything.
"I see him," Finn reported excitedly. "Luke's got...my hair. Definitely my hair and my nose. He's a mini me! I've got a mini me! My genes totally won this time, babe!"
"Push, Rachel. Let's get those shoulders out," Dr. Woo instructed as Rachel bore down.
"Little more babe. I can see his chest," Finn announced, watching carefully. "He's totally got my chest and belly button and...not my junk. There's no junk. Holy shit, he's got no junk! Is it still in there, Rach? Push it out!"
Rachel screamed in response as she gave a final push, creating a flurry of activity between her legs as the doctor and nurses hovered around the baby. Finn, still worried about his son's lack of junk watched anxiously. "Where's Luke's junk, Dr. Woo?"
Dr. Woo smiled, patting the baby's back as it gave a lusty cry. "There's no junk because there's no boy. Congratulations! It's a girl!"
"Another girl! I can't believe it!" Carole exclaimed happily as she went about preparing breakfast. She pulled Rachel's waffle iron out of the cabinet prepared to make Ava a special big sister breakfast. "I just can't believe it. I was so sure she was having a boy."
"Wait'll Ava finds out," Burt agreed as he looked up from his paper. "Of course, this means more princess stuff for Finn."
"You know he loves it," Carole replied, busy mixing waffle batter. "Just like you loved watching The Princess and the Frog with Ava last night."
"The first time. The second time was rough," he answered, turning the page. "I was ready to kill you for surprising her with that movie."
"Well Kurt should be here by the time she wakes up. You know he won't mind watching with her." She tested the heat of the iron, deciding it wasn't quite ready.
"Won't mind watching what?" Kurt demanded as he walked into the kitchen. Blaine followed close behind, carrying a large box wrapped in Minnie Mouse paper.
"The princess movie your mother bought Ava for being such a good flower girl," Burt replied, taking a sip of his coffee. "What's in the box? That for the baby?"
"It's Ava's big sister box." He glanced around anxiously. "Where is she? She didn't go to the hospital yet right? I'll kill Finn if he took her already."
"She's Finn's daughter. She's still asleep," Burt chuckled. "So what'd you end up getting her?"
"Sorry. As you're not in the big brother and sister club like me, Carole and Ava, I'm afraid I can't tell you," Kurt replied seriously, taking the box from Blaine. "Blaine's lucky he got to hold it."
"Put it away till she wakes," Carole warned, pouring batter onto the waffle iron. "She thinks it's coming in the mail. She told me all about it while she took a bath last night."
"Good point. I'll be back." Kurt nodded, disappearing out of the apartment for a few minutes while the others continued to eat their breakfast. Satisfied at his plan, he rejoined the group in the apartment, now holding a few pink helium balloons bearing the words big sister. Carefully, he tied them to Ava's usual chair, eyeing them critically before he spoke. "It's all set. I've got the doorman on standby. So do we have a name yet?"
Carole shook her head, removing the waffles and replacing it with more batter. "Finn said they're still debating. All I know is that she was born at 2:14AM and is 7 pounds 5 ounces. She seems to be built like Finn if she was 22 inches long although he was just about 9 pounds."
"I cannot believe Rachel snooped and still got it wrong," Kurt gripped as he accepted the cup of coffee Blaine was offering. "My whole scheme has to be rethought, although fortunately Rachel and I had discussed doing a butterfly theme for a girl several months ago."
"So we're telling Ava?" Blaine asked, pouring himself some more coffee and taking a seat at the table.
"No. Finn should tell her," Carole decided, placing a plate of waffles in front of Kurt. "We'll just tell her she's a big sister."
"Yeah I..." Blaine trailed off, cocking his head. "I think I hear footsteps."
Kurt swooped into action, making the all important phone call to the doorman. All baby talked trailed off as the bathroom door was slammed and they quietly went about eating breakfast while they waited for the new big sister.
Ava appeared in the kitchen a few minutes later, one hand rubbing her eyes while the other held Minnie by the leg. Her eyes widened at the sight of the balloons. "There's balloons on my chair!"
"There's the new Big Sister!" Kurt exclaimed. "I heard you got accepted at the meeting last night. That's why you have balloons on your chair, you know."
"I did?" She squealed and ran over to her chair, pausing next to Blaine. "You're in Minnie's chair."
Blaine moved over obligingly, letting Ava place Minnie in the chair before she climbed onto her official big sister chair. Carole placed a plate of waffle pieces in front of her, handing Ava her Dora fork with a kiss. "Congratulations, Big Sister."
"Your Dora fork matches your pjs," Kurt commented approvingly as he eyed her Dora the Explorer sleeper. "No wonder you got into the club so easily."
"I did?" She speared a piece of waffle, placing it carefully into her mouth as she stared at her uncle.
"Absolutely. I knew you were accepted once they asked me and Norma for recommendations," Kurt continued. "Grandma too. You didn't even have to do an interview like Norma did. He almost didn't get in after the Lady Cluck scandal."
Ava beamed at this, continuing to eat her waffles until a thought struck her. "Did the mail come? Where's my box?"
"It'll be here soon, Princess," Carole assured her. "Finish eating so you can be ready when it does."
Ava nodded, quickly finishing her waffles and disappearing into her room. She returned a minute later, now wearing her fairy wings over her pajamas. "Did it come yet?"
"Not yet. why don't you go watch cartoons with Grandpa and Uncle Blaine?" Carole suggested.
Ava nodded eagerly, grabbing Blaine's hand. "Come on, Uncle Blaine. Let's watch Max and Ruby."
Ava soon became engrossed in her cartoon, temporarily forgetting about her box and completely ignoring the doorbell ringing. Nor did she notice her grandfather quietly pull out a video camera and start filming.
"The doorman's here!" Kurt called out as he walked into the room, followed by a tall thin man holding a box and some envelopes.
"I've got a package for an Ava Carole Hudson," the doorman announced. "Is she here?"
"I'm here!" Ava's eyes went wide as he placed the box down.
"I'll need you to sign," he continued, holding out a crayon.
Ava nodded excitedly, grabbing the fat crayon and scribbling something on the paper he was holding out. She climbed off the couch, bouncing in place when the doorman moved the box in front of her. She barely noticed the doorman leaving, too busy examining the box. "Is it really for me?"
"Well you signed for it," Kurt confirmed, plucking the envelope off the top. "Look, there's even a letter."
Ava made a grab for the envelope, eagerly ripping it open and staring at the words on the page for a moment before she turned and climbed onto Blaine's lap, her fairy wings hindering her from getting totally comfortable. "Read."
Amused, Blaine cleared his throat and began to read. "Dear Ava Carole Hudson-"
"That's me!" Ava cried excitedly.
"It is you," Blaine agreed, clearing his throat again.
Dear Ava Carole Hudson,
The National Big Brothers and Sisters Club is pleased to inform you that as of 2:14 this morning, you have been officially accepted into our club, as a member of the Big Sister division. Enclosed you will find your official big sister shirt and ID card, which should be kept in your purse at all times and never given to little brothers or sisters to borrow. Please note that our next meeting, a tea party at Uncle Kurt's, has been rescheduled for today in your bedroom and will begin once Grandma makes cookies. Also note that our next day of fun, a trip to McDonald's for lunch and then to the circus, is scheduled for Saturday. As always, mice are allowed to come, however no little brothers or sisters may attend.
President, The National Big Brothers and Sisters Club
"Really? Calvin Klein?" Blaine arched an eyebrow as he finished reading and handed the letter to a wide-eyed Ava.
"Yes, Calvin Klein. Not that you would know, since you're not in the club," Kurt snapped, annoyed his letter was being criticized. He turned his attention back to Ava, who'd climbed off of Blaine's lap to examine the wrapped box. "How about we open the box, Ava? I bet your shirt is in there."
Ava nodded excitedly, bouncing in place as she watched Kurt shift the box towards her. A true four year old, she made quick work of the Minnie Mouse wrapping paper and bow and eagerly pulled off the top of the box, throwing it to the floor as she reached into the packed box.
"What's in there, Ballerina?" Burt asked with a smile, watching her paw through the box and pull the first thing out.
"Shoes," she replied flatly, tossing the sparkly pink Mary Janes to the floor, clearly not impressed as she returned to the box.
"Hey! Those are special big sister shoes from the fall line!" Kurt cried, picking them up off the floor.
"Kurt," Carole warned, turning her attention back to Ava. "What else is in there, Princess?"
"Stickers!" Excited, she held up the Tangled stickers with a flourish, handing them off to her grandmother as she turned back to the box. "And crayons!"
Carole soon had a lapful of big sister gifts; the crayons, a Princess coloring book, an elegant new tea hat, princess dress, play jewelry and a new Minnie Mouse cell phone joining the stickers, while a Minnie Mouse umbrella and matching raincoat joined the shoes on the floor.
"Wow," Ava breathed, pulling out a small purse decorated all around with enough pink tulle to look like a skirt. Beyond excited, she held up the purse to Kurt. "Look Uncle Kurt! Did you get a pocketbook?"
"I did not." He smiled, gesturing to the box. "All I got was a T-shirt and a new bedroom when Daddy came but I think Norma got a pocketbook."
"Oh." She looked back at the box, something blinged out inside it catching her attention. Excited, she pulled out a white t-shirt bearing the words "Big Sister" on it in sparkly pink rhinestones.
"Wow! Look at that!" Blaine cried, playing up the importance of the shirt. "It says Big Sister. I wish I had one like that."
"Bet you're sorry you mocked Calvin Klein now," Kurt huffed watching Ava drop the shirt on the floor to pull out an official looking envelope and a Rapunzel wallet. "Do you even get a welcome kit in the little brother club?"
"Look, Uncle Kurt!" She ripped open the envelope, pulling out a small square piece of card stock just as blinged out as her t-shirt.
"Wow Ava, is that your ID card? Let's see," Blaine prompted as she stared at the card.
Ava hesitated, holding the card to her chest. "Are you a big brother?"
"Well no but-"
"I can't show you then," she decided, to the amusement of the room. Excited, she turned to fellow older sibling Kurt and climbed into his lap, her fairy wings hitting him in the face. "Read."
Kurt cleared his throat, admiring the card it had taken him hours to make. Glad he'd had the foresight to add the pink rhinestone border after he'd had the card printed up, he read aloud the two lines of words written in an elegant font. "Ava Carole Hudson, Big Sister."
"Wow," she breathed, clearly impressed.
"You better put that in your new wallet," Kurt advised. "Little brothers and sisters have been known to steal them."
Glancing suspiciously at Blaine, Ava scrambled for her new Rapunzel wallet, carefully sliding it inside before she placed the wallet in her new tulle pocketbook. Satisfied that her precious card was safe, she reached for her new coloring book and crayons and opened to a new page.
"Ava wait! Don't you want to wear your shirt?" Kurt asked eagerly. "You're in the club now, you can. See?"
Ava went wide eyed as Kurt lifted his sweater to reveal a blinged out shirt similar to hers but bearing the words 'Big Brother' on it. Excited, Ava lunged for her own t-shirt, attempting to put it on over her fairy wings.
"Hold on Ava. You can't debut your club t-shirt wearing Dora pjs under your t-shirt and fairy wings," Kurt insisted, scooping her up. "Let's go get you into a big sister worthy outfit."
They returned about ten minutes later, a wingless Ava now wearing black leggings and a black shirt under her big sister shirt along with her cowboy boots just as the sound of the front door opening hit their ears.
"In here, baby!" Carole called out excitedly.
Finn appeared in the room a moment later, the grin on his face contrasting with his exhausted state. "Hey guys."
"Finn! Congratulations, baby!" Carole jumped off the couch, a shower of Ava's big sister presents falling to the floor as she did so. Excited to be a grandmother of two, she hugged him, pulling his face down to hers. Burt, Kurt and Blaine each stood, offering handshakes and congratulations as Finn continued to be attacked by his mother.
"Daddy! Look!" Ava cried, launching herself at Finn's legs. "I'm in the Big Sister club with Uncle Kurt and Norma!"
"I see, Avs!" He picked her up, yawning a little. "Guess what? You have a new little sister to have tea parties with! How awesome is that?"
"I'm having a special tea party for big brothers and sisters only," Ava announced impressively. "The meeting is in my room."
Not quite sure what to make of that, he carried Ava over to the couch and flopped on it, too tired to even care that Ava was making herself comfortable on his lap by digging her cowboy boots into his groin.
"How's Rachel doing?" Carole asked, shoving all Ava's big sister presents to the side of the couch as she sat back down on the couch. "Burt and I thought we'd go later after Ava goes."
"She's tired but she really kicked ass delivering. She pushed the baby out in like 20 minutes," Finn announced proudly, pulling out his phone and handing it to his mother. "I've got pictures."
A crowd immediately formed around Carole, who squealed at the first picture. "Baby! She looks just like you did!"
"She's definitely got your hair," Kurt commented, peering over Carole's shoulder. "That the dominant gene?"
"She looks adorable," Carole cooed. "As did Finn when he was a newborn with that head of hair."
"What do you think Avs?" Finn asked, smiling as Carole showed Ava a picture.
"Where's Mommy?" she replied in answer as she looked towards the hall, clearly expecting Rachel.
"Mommy's staying with your new little sister," he commented carefully. "See the picture?"
"She's not coming home?" Ava asked worriedly.
"Mommy's waiting for you to come visit," he assured her. "She's so sad you're not there."
"She is?" She grabbed Minnie off the floor and placed her in the doll stroller nearby before grabbing her new big sister purse off the couch. "Let's go, Daddy."
"Ava, wait!" Kurt cried as Ava began pushing her stroller towards the door. He waited until Ava had stopped pushing and turned to look at him. "Don't you want to show Mommy your box?"
Ava considered this, a hand on her stroller. "Get my box, Daddy."
"Let's hope the Berry bossy gene missed your sister," Finn grumbled, taking the box a snickering Kurt was holding out. He tucked the box under one arm, suddenly remembering Rachel's explicit instructions when he'd left her earlier. "Ava-roo, how about we stop at the store and pick out a little sister gift?"
Ava looked at Kurt uncertainly, who nodded. "I think that's a great idea. I mean it's not like your little sister has a cool club like you do."
"Oh." She looked back at Finn, nodding as she slipped on her Minnie sunglasses. "Ok. Hold my pocketbook."
"Great." He rolled his eyes but took her purse and followed her down to the waiting cab, quickly directing the driver to take them to the toy store. He followed Ava around while she considered toy after toy, finally settling on a large stuffed Daisy Duck to match her Minnie Mouse. Anxious to get back to Rachel and the new baby, he quickly ushered Ava back into a cab and over to the hospital. Ava severely tested his patience by insisting on maneuvering her stroller through the crowds and further insisting on ID badges for both Minnie and Daisy but eventually they managed to cram themselves into an elevator stroller and all.
"This way Avs." He held open the elevator doors open at the sixth floor with the hand not holding her purse, waiting for her to push her stroller off before they set off down the hall.
The sight of Ava pushing her little stroller with Minnie and Daisy securely inside while Finn carried her purse and big sister box next to her earned smiles from everyone they passed but it wasn't until they walked over to the nurses station to check in that anyone commented.
"Look at you!" a nurse cooed, peering over the counter at Ava. "Are you a new big sister?"
Ava nodded proudly. "I have a card."
Amused, the nurse watched as Ava took her purse from her father, quickly pulling out the card.
"Are you a big sister?" Ava asked, her card still securely in her hand. "I can't give it to little sisters. Calvin Klein said."
"I am." The nurse laughed, glancing at Finn who shrugged.
"Ok. Here." Relieved, she handed the card over. "Where's your card?"
"Oh it's in my purse in my locker," she improvised, still laughing as she handed the card back to Ava.
"Are you going to the circus on Saturday with the Big Brother and Sister club?" Ava asked as she carefully placed the card back in her purse and handed the bag back to her father. "I'm going with Uncle Kurt, Grandma and Norma."
"I'm afraid I have to miss that meeting since I have to work," the nurse replied as she rummaged through a drawer. "But since you're a fellow big sister, I have something for you."
Ava's eyes went wide as the nurse pinned a large pink ribbon proclaiming her a big sister to her shirt. "Daddy, look!"
"Super cool, Avs," he responded, shifting her box under his arm. "Ready to go see Mommy?"
Ava grinned excitedly, bouncing in place at the thought. She grabbed her stroller and began pushing, following her father as he walked down the hall.
"Baby, look who's here," Finn announced, holding open the door and checking to make sure that Rachel was ready. She'd been adamant that the baby be in the incubator when Ava arrived, having read that it was important for older siblings to see their mother alone first and given how crazy her hormones were at the moment he wouldn't put it last her to divorce him for arriving too early. Fortunately, he could see the baby sound asleep in her incubator while Rachel watched a movie on TV.
"There's my Ava-girl!" Rachel exclaimed from the hospital bed, happily holding her arms out as Ava pushed her stroller into the room.
"Mommy!" Her stroller abandoned, Ava ran to the bed and attempted to climb on.
"Careful around Mommy," Finn warned, picking her up and placing her on the bed next to Rachel. He smiled as he watched mother and daughter hug.
"Mmm. I missed you so much," Rachel cooed, giving Ava an Eskimo kiss. "Have you been having fun with Grandma and Grandpa?"
Ava nodded happily. "We watched The Princess and the Frog. But look!"
Rachel oohed and ahhed in all the right places as Ava proudly showed the contents of the Big Sister welcome kit. She waited until Ava had carefully placed her ID card back in her purse before she exchanged a glance with Finn, nodding towards the incubator. "Ava, are you ready to see your little sister?"
Ava nodded, looking around curiously as if she expected the baby to walk through the door.
Finn carefully lifted the baby out of the incubator, carrying her over to the bed and settling next to Ava. "Here's your new little sister, Avs."
Ava peered at the sleeping baby in her father's arms, clearly not impressed by what she saw. "Why's she all red?"
"Because she was just born this morning," Finn replied proudly, watching the baby squirm in her sleep.
"She looks like Elmo."
"You want to hold Elmo?" he asked. "Lean against Mommy."
"Finn! Her name is not Elmo!" Rachel hissed, watching him carefully arrange the baby on Ava's lap.
"Well since we can't decide on a name, Elmo it is," he countered, snapping a picture with his phone before sitting carefully on the bed in front of Ava, his arms hovering in case.
"Elmo's crying, Daddy," Ava announced, glancing down at the squirming baby in her arms.
"Lemme take Elmo." He took the baby from Ava, cradling the baby to his chest.
"Her name is not Elmo!" Rachel cried again. "We decided on Clarice!"
"No, you decided and voted for me," Finn pointed out. "I told you, I'm not naming my daughter Clarice and having people go 'hello Clarice' in a serial killer voice. And I'm once again doing a preemptive strike on Barbra."
"Doesn't the fact that I just pushed her out count for more?" she pouted, watching Finn settle into the rocking chair with the baby. Ava remained on the bed with Rachel, rummaging through her big sister box for crayons and her Princess coloring book. "What are you doing, Angel?"
"I'm making a picture for Elmo." She flipped through her book, finally deciding on a picture of Princess Tiana staring up at a star. She selected a fat blue crayon, setting to work with her tongue sticking out of the corner of her mouth as she concentrated.
"Clarice will love it," Rachel promised, glancing at the coloring book picture curiously. "Is this a new princess?"
"That's Tiana," Ava explained, switching to a black crayon. She pointed to the star with her crayon. "And that's Evangeline. She helps Tiana find the prince."
"Grandma and Grandpa have already watched it twice since they bought it for her," Finn added helpfully, secretly glad it wasn't him. "Grandpa loves it."
"He likes Ray," Ava elaborated, immediately beginning to sing her own version of Ma Belle Evangeline as she reached for her pink crayon. "Ray stays with Evangeline."
"I'll have to watch with you when I get home, baby," Rachel decided. "It sounds good."
"Done." Satisfied that her picture was perfect, Ava held it up for inspection.
"It looks amazing, Avs. How about we hang it up?" Finn suggested, shifting the blanket around the baby. "Did you show Mommy the present you brought for Elmo?"
Ava climbed off the bed, scattering crayons everywhere as she made a beeline for her stroller. Carefully, she unbuckled Daisy and tucked her under her arm, watching as Finn passed the sleeping baby off to Rachel before she climbed back on the bed. "Here Elmo. I got you Daisy."
She held Daisy out to the baby, who sneezed in her sleep. Ava seemed to take that as a sign the baby liked it and placed the duck next to Rachel before she settled against the pillow.
"Clarice brought you something too, Ava," Rachel announced, nodding to Finn who pulled something out of Rachel's cabinet and made his way over to the bed.
"Look Avs, Mommy's not the only one who has a baby here," Finn announced, showing Ava the bundle in his arms. He smiled at Ava's awe struck expression, glad Rachel had had the idea to dress the doll in an identical outfit and blanket just like the real baby. "Here's your baby!"
"Mine?" Ava asked, wide eyed as Finn placed the baby doll in her arms. "But she's not red."
"Uh...that's because she's a little older than Mommy's baby. Your baby came last night so that's why she's not red," Finn improvised. "You and Mommy can take care of your babies together."
Still wide eyed, she glanced at Rachel, carefully taking note of the way she was holding the baby and immediately shifted the doll in her arms to mimic Rachel.
"Uncle Kurt's coming to take you shopping for baby furniture, Ava. You'll need everything just like I have," Rachel promised, adjusting the blanket around the baby and smiling when Ava did the same, Finn snapping picture after picture. They'd just posed for their official family portrait when a knock on the door sounded.
"How are we doing in here?"
The three occupants glanced at the door to see Ava's pediatrician Dr. Fowler, enter the room, a clipboard in her hand. Ava watched, fascinated as Dr. Fowler checked over the baby.
"All goes well she can leave Monday morning. No name yet?" Dr. Fowler asked, scribbling on her board.
"Not yet," Finn cut in before Rachel could say Clarice.
"My baby doesn't have a name either," Ava announced. "Do you need to check her?"
Dr. Fowler smiled and did a quick exam of the doll while Ava watched anxiously. "Everything looks good. She can probably go home today."
Ava frowned, climbing off the bed with her doll in her arms. Carefully, she placed the doll in her sister's incubator, to the amusement of the adults. "She can't go home yet! Elmo isn't!"
"Ava, you can take her home now," Finn assured her. "Don't you want to bring her to tea?"
"She needs to stay," Ava insisted, adjusting the blanket over the doll. She climbed back on the bed, reaching for her coloring book again. She opened to a fresh page, happily coloring a picture of Ray singing to Evangeline while her baby slept.
"She can go home when the baby does," Rachel promised, taking the baby back from the doctor. "You need to get ready for your baby anyway. Uncle Kurt should be here soon."
Ava nodded, busy coloring her picture while her parents talked to the doctor. She'd managed to color three more pictures and decorate Rachel's hospital room with them before Kurt arrived bearing yet another present for Ava and a designer outfit for the baby.
"Where's my new niece?" Kurt demanded, handing Ava her new present, this time a little diaper bag that was an exact replica of Rachel's before talking the baby from Rachel. He admired the baby for a moment before turning back to Ava. "How great is that bag, Ava? It's just like Mommy's!"
Ava squealed, immediately putting the bag on her shoulder. "Look Mommy!"
"I see Angel!" Rachel beamed, watching Ava model the bag. "We match!"
Finn however, paled slightly at the sight of the bag and prayed that it wasn't exactly like Rachel's designer diaper bag in one particular aspect. "Wait. Is that an exact replica of Rachel's cost-wise too?"
Kurt waved a hand dismissively, handing the baby back to Rachel. "You know I feel that Ava should be exposed to designer luxury at an early age."
"Kurt! Are you insane giving that expensive of a bag to a four year old?" Finn hissed. He may have only had a vague idea of how much Rachel's bag cost based on the designer but he had a very strong feeling he didn't want to know the exact amount.
"Relax. I have a connection at that design house. Since they've been toying with a kid's line, Ava's bag is a one of a kind prototype. It's perfect really. They get to test the bag out on a kid and I get to combat the bad clothes genes you two passed on." He turned to Ava. "Ready to shop till we drop for your baby?"
Ava nodded eagerly, grabbing her purse and making a beeline for her stroller while Finn sighed, afraid of how much Kurt and Rachel's latest idea was going to cost him. "Try not to go crazy, Kurt. Maybe Mom should go with you."
"That bargain shopper? I don't think so." He slipped his sunglasses on, Ava doing the same next to him. "Ava demands luxury. Word gets out that she went cheap and she'll never be able to show her face in Miss Fiona's room again. It's vicious at the craft table."
Finn rolled his eyes. "Seriously? I think she'll survive."
"Kurt, just get what we discussed and we'll pay you later," Rachel cut in, rocking the baby softly.
"I'm on it." He adjusted his sunglasses, watching Rachel rock the baby. "No name yet?"
"We're still debating." She frowned, looking down at the baby. "Finn is rejecting all my choices."
"Like you're not rejecting all mine?" he shot back, settling on the chair next to the bed.
"Not gonna name her Finnessa?" Kurt asked with a snicker.
"Shut it, Kurt," Finn snapped. "Don't you have shopping to do?"
"Daddy's right, Ava. We've got lots of shopping to do." He held out his hand. "Come."
Finn waited until good byes were said and Ava had pushed her stroller out the door before he spoke again. "I don't even want to know how much this is going to cost me."
"She needs to feel special too. I should think you'd want her to feel that way," Rachel replied. "If she's going to take care of a baby, she needs the proper supplies."
He sighed. "But to send her with Kurt?"
"Who better? You heard him, the craft table is vicious." She smiled down at the baby in her arms as a little cry was heard. "I think someone's hungry."
"We really need to name her," he replied, watching Rachel lower her hospital gown to start nursing. "Joanna?"
She frowned, adjusting the baby against her breast. "No. She's not a Joanna. Marian."
He shook his head. "Hate it. She's not an old lady. How about Claire?"
"Claire?" Rachel hissed. "As in your crazy ex-girlfriend? No way."
He rolled his eyes. "Fine. Haley?"
"Now you're just naming characters from Modern Family," Rachel griped, adjusting the baby against her breast again.
"This kid definitely takes after me," Finn commented, watching the baby nurse. "She's as big a fan of your boobs as I am."
"It's definitely easier this time," Rachel admitted, memories of the difficulties she'd encountered with Ava on her mind. "She's yet to have a bottle. Leisel?"
"Hell no. What's the girl form of Luke?" Finn asked, grabbing the baby book and thumbing through. "Lukina? Lukette?"
"I am not naming my daughter Lukina!" Rachel cried. "At this rate we might as well go with Ava's choice of Rapunzel Cinderella."
"She'd love it," Finn agreed. "What's cooler than a princess name?"
Rachel bit her lip. "Maybe we should involve her more. The book says it's very important."
He eyed her big sister stuff scattered all over and the pictures she'd decorated hung up. "I think she's involved. Look at all the pictures she did for you."
Rachel smiled. "They're all pictures of the same characters. I guess they're her favorite?"
"Evangeline and Ray? Absolutely. I heard all about Evangeline on the way here," he replied, making a face. "I think Burt would go crazy if he had to watch again."
She laughed, switching the baby to her other breast. "I guess that's awaiting me when I come home."
"You know it." He grinned, reaching over to stroke the baby's head lightly. "But seriously, this little girl needs a special name and not an old lady name from a musical."
"I agree." She eyed one of Ava's pictures thoughtfully. "You know, I always liked the name Lena. It was on my list of my future children's names."
"Yeah?" He glanced up at her, still stroking the baby's head. "So you want to name her Lena?"
She shook her head. "No. Not exactly. Lena is too common for a first name now but it's a cute nickname."
"So what then?" He stared in confusion.
"What if I told you I had a name that could satisfy your special requirement, involve Ava and still incorporate the name Lena?" she asked with a smile, her eyes wandering back to one of Ava's pictures.
He grinned, following her gaze. "Middle name Rachel and we'll call her Lena for short?"
Rachel smiled down at the baby as she finished feeding and yawned. "Evangeline Rachel Hudson, I like it."
"How about you, Lena? You think your name is special enough?" Finn asked, pressing a kiss to the baby's head. Evangeline gave a little mewl, her eyes closing. "That's a sign of approval, Rach!"
"Wait'll Ava finds out her name is Evangeline," Rachel commented as Evangeline drifted off to sleep. She carefully passed the baby off to Finn, who stealthily placed her in the incubator next to Ava's doll.
"She'll love it," he predicted, adjusting the hat Evangeline wore. "Good luck to her trying to come up with a name for her baby that tops it."
Rachel laughed as Finn climbed onto the bed with her. "She'll probably use Rapunzel Cinderella to match."
He slipped an arm around her, pressing a kiss to her forehead. "How awesome is this? Two daughters?"
"Amazing, right?" She stared at the incubator, watching Evangeline sleep for a moment. "Even if it wasn't a Luke like we thought?"
"Lena's much better than a Luke," he decided. "But next time you snoop, get it right."
She glared. "I can't help it if the nurse has poor handwriting."
"Uh huh." He stroked her arm softly. "Maybe Evangeline's nickname should be Luke."
"Absolutely not. What would we do next time then?" she asked, resting her head on his shoulder.
"Next time?" He quirked an eyebrow.
She nodded. "I owe you a Luke."
He pressed another kiss to her forehead. "Can't wait."
We're here and you're dead.
Kurt closed the text message with a smug look. "They're on their way up."
"Blaine! LeRoy! They're here!" Hiram called out the door of the nursery. He turned back to Carole and Kurt, busy giving the nursery a final stamp of approval. "Everything in here looks great. Let's go greet them."
Kurt swept a critical eye over the butterfly themed room. "It's fantastic considering the short time frame I had. Don't you think so, Carole?"
"It's wonderful, Kurt," Carole assured him, already hurrying out of the room. "Evangeline will love it."
"It's purple at Ava's request to match Daisy Duck's outfit, since her room is pink like Minnie's." He followed Carole and Hiram out into the hall. "They better have put the gorgeous outfit I had made on her."
"She'll look adorable no matter what," Carole predicted. "She looked absolutely precious in that outfit you had her in yesterday."
"She did, didn't she," Kurt decided. "I had that outfit custom made with extra leg room since she's all leg. It matches the bow hat, of course."
"Best dressed baby at that hospital since Ava," Hiram added as the front door opened. "Oh! Here they are!"
Rachel appeared first, one arm holding the carrier in which a sleeping Evangeline was currently residing. Ava followed close behind, the doll sized carrier hanging from one arm currently occupied by both her new doll and Minnie.
"There she is!" Hiram announced, LeRoy busy taking picture after picture of a sleeping Evangeline next to him. "Look at her sleeping! Did you ever?"
"Ava's baby is sleeping too," Rachel announced, nodding meaningfully at the group. Carole, Hiram, LeRoy and Blaine immediately began snapping pictures and fawning over Ava's doll, while Kurt began a close inspection of Evangeline.
"I better not see a onesie bearing the words new in town," Kurt declared, casting a suspicious look at Blaine, currently busy helping Ava unbuckle her doll from the carrier.
"It's November, Kurt," Rachel chided, not bothering to point out she'd put it on Evangeline under the fancy outfit Kurt had provided for her to come home in. She placed Evangeline's carrier on the table, smiling at the sight of a doll sized swing next to Evangeline's swing. "She's dressed warm."
"My baby's dressed warm too," Ava added, beaming as her grandfather held her doll.
"Ava baby, I'm going to put Evangeline in her crib to sleep. Why don't you put your baby in her crib?" Rachel suggested, nodding towards the little doll sized crib Ava had had Burt set up next to Evangeline's portable crib.
"i can't. My baby needs a blanket. Daddy has it," Ava replied with a frown.
"I'll help you, Rachel," Carole offered, Ava's words suddenly registering. "Where is Finn?"
All eyes turned to the door to see Finn loaded down with supplies for not one but two babies. True to his word, Kurt had taken Ava shopping for supplies, which meant that any equipment Rachel had for Evangeline now had a doll sized version next to it, in addition to all the clothes they'd bought for her baby. Ava had insisted on bringing every last piece of her baby's wardrobe to the hospital to show Rachel, which meant that Finn was loaded down with both Evangeline's and Rachel's suitcases, plus the doll's and Ava's abandoned baby stroller. Burt stood behind him, holding a single suitcase of yet more doll clothes and Daisy Duck. He glared at Kurt, shifting the package of diapers tucked under one arm.
"I need my blanket, Daddy," Ava demanded, tugging the blanket out from one of the bags Finn was carrying and making the diapers fall out from under Finn's arm, along with one of the doll's suitcases.
"Finn! Stop fooling around and bring Lena's stuff into the nursery!" Rachel called over her shoulder as she carried Evangeline's carrier down the hall, Carole following close behind. Finn sighed, immediately moving to follow them.
"Look Uncle Blaine! My baby is home. You can hold her before she goes to sleep like Lena," Ava bossed, taking her doll from LeRoy and passing her to Blaine. "But only for a minute. She needs to sleep."
"Wow, look at you with your own baby to take care of, just like Mommy!" He passed the baby doll back to Ava, who carefully placed her in the crib. "What's her name going to be?"
"Dyson," she replied immediately. "Dyson Cinderella Hudson."
Kurt stared, amused by the name. "Dyson's a vacuum, Ava. It's not a name."
"Yes it is." Firm in this belief, she picked the blanket up off the floor. "It's Mommy's name."
"Mommy's name is Rachel." He glanced around the room in confusion.
"No it's not. It's Dyson." She spread a blanket over her doll. "Daddy said."
"Daddy said Mommy's name is Dyson?" Kurt questioned.
She nodded, tucking the blanket around Dyson. "He said good thing Mommy's name is Dyson because she's better than a vacuum and he can't have any fun for six weeks."
"Oh...oh." He stared, looking uncomfortably around the room at his family as Ava's words set in.
Ava, satisfied that Dyson was sleeping and completely unaware of the embarrassment among her grandfathers and uncles, climbed onto the couch next to Burt just as Finn emerged from the bedroom.
"Rachel and Mom have everything under control so I figured I'd come out here," he announced. "What's going on out here?"
"Ava's been filling us in on Rachel's hidden talent," LeRoy replied crisply.
"Yeah? What talent is that?" Finn asked, easily settling next to Blaine.
"Ask Ava what her baby's name is." LeRoy nodded at Ava, currently engrossed in an episode of Dora.
"Oh awesome Avs! What'd you name your baby?" He smiled, noticing the doll in her new crib.
Ava tore her attention away from the TV for a moment. "Dyson."
"Dyson? Why'd you name her that?" Finn asked, his tone confused.
LeRoy cleared his throat, sending a glare in Finn's direction. "Dyson Cinderella Hudson is apparently named after my daughter."
"Huh?" He stared, his expression bewildered.
"Yes, apparently my Little Star is better than a vacuum." He glared again, making Finn squirm as understanding dawned.
"What? No! I...I mean...she's awesome at..." He faltered, his face scarlet.
"It's not enough that she's endured nine long months of pregnancy plus a grueling labor to deliver your child, now you expect her to do that for the next six weeks?" he demanded.
"She likes it!" he blurted out, immediately becoming even more horrified by his word vomit. His eyes darted around the room, looking anywhere but at his fathers-in-law.
"What do I like?" Rachel asked, walking into the room with Carole just behind her. "I'm assuming you're talking about me?"
"Lena's asleep?" Finn questioned in an attempt to change the subject. "Maybe you should sleep too, babe."
"I just got home. I think I can spend time with my family. But yes, Evangeline's asleep in her bassinet." She smiled, carefully sitting on the couch. "So what are we talking about? The fabulous push present Finn got me?"
"It is amazing, Rachel," Kurt replied, admiring the jewelry box holding the diamond scroll band ring residing next to the designer bag Finn had also gotten her. "Finn did much better this time. How long before you can wear it?"
"Hopefully soon." She frowned, holding out her hand to stare at her swollen fingers. Her frown morphed into a smile however, the moment she remembered something and she clutched at her necklace. "I can wear this though. Look!"
"Beautiful, Princess," Hiram preened, leaning in to inspect the new charm bearing the letter E now residing next to the letter A charm that Rachel had proudly worn for the past four years.
"Where's my present?" Ava asked, glancing at Rachel's necklace and very familiar with the letter A charm. "I didn't get a mommy necklace."
"Well you still need to name your baby, baby," Rachel replied, pulling Ava onto her lap. "Then you get a mommy necklace."
"My baby has a name now," Ava insisted, completely oblivious to the discomfort of all the adults save her mother or the fact that her father had paled as he shifted from foot to foot.
"She does?! Daddy didn't tell me!" She cuddled Ava closer. "What did you name her?"
"Babe, I think Lena's crying," Finn cut in.
Rachel cocked her head, considering this as she stole a glance at the video monitor. "She's fine. I just fed her."
"Are you sure? I swear I heard her crying," he insisted.
"I'm telling you, she's fine." She gestured to her chest. "She got more than enough."
"Maybe you should go pump now, so we can all feed her," Finn urged.
"I'll do it later," she snapped. "Can I just relax for a moment?"
"Daddy, do you hear Dyson crying?" Ava asked worriedly. "She just ate too."
"Who, Chickadee?" Rachel asked, her tone confused as she looked down at Ava.
"My baby." She climbed off Rachel's lap, bouncing over to Dyson's crib. "Dyson."
"You named your baby Dyson?" Rachel repeated slowly, watching Ava check on her baby. "Why?"
"Actually, it's Dyson Cinderella Hudson," Kurt put in helpfully with a snicker. "She's named after you."
Finn groaned, knowing it was only a matter of time before Rachel figured it out.
"Why would she name her Dyson then if she's..." Her voice trailed off in horror as realization dawned, a hand flying to her face. "Oh. My. God."
Satisfied that Dyson was still sleeping, Ava climbed onto the couch next to Rachel. "Dyson's still sleeping just like Lena, Mommy."
Too mortified to look at anyone, Rachel jumped up, her eyes narrowed in Finn's direction. "Finn, can I see you inside please?"
Finn, with the air of an inmate about to go to the chair, nodded weakly and followed her into Ava's bedroom.
Rachel waited until he'd come to a stop by Ava's tea table before she shut the door and turned on him. "Tell me our daughter named her doll Dyson simply because I own a Dyson vacuum. Tell me."
"Uh..." He trailed off, rubbing his neck awkwardly. "Ava must've heard me say it to you at the wedding."
"I don't believe this!" she shrieked, grabbing Ava's tea pot off the table and hitting him with it. "Do they all know?"
"Uh well my mom doesn't," he answered, ducking the blows of the tea pot. "Although I'm guessing Kurt's filled her in by now."
Rachel shrieked again, hitting him harder. "My fathers know? Is that what you were telling my fathers I like?"
"Well you do!" he blurted out unwisely.
She hit him harder. "So what! You don't hear me telling your mom that you like it doggy style, do you? Maybe that could be the name of Ava's next baby!"
He winced, wrestling the tea pot from her only to have her grab Ava's frying pan and start hitting him again. "Babe! Calm down. You're gonna wake Lena!"
"Calm down? You want me to calm down?" she screeched, whacking him again. "Our daughter just told our entire family about our sex life and all you can say is calm down? She's going to tell everyone about our sex life once they ask why her baby is named Dyson! Everyone! I can never show my face at preschool again!"
"It's not that bad. Maybe we can-" he began, gripping the hand holding the frying pan.
"We?" she repeated, pointing the frying pan at him. "Oh no no. There is no we in this. This is all you."
"Me?" he cried. "But you're the one who's humiliated!"
"Exactly." She poked him with the frying pan. "Fix. This. Now."
"How?" he asked stupidly. "She's like you. If I try to get her to change it, she'll insist on keeping it."
"You better figure something out," she snapped, poking him once more before she marched to the door. "I'm going to sleep now and when I wake up, lunch better be ready and the only Dyson in this house better be the one in the closet."
He sighed, following her out of the room. Rachel made a sharp left, heading for their bedroom and he sighed again, heading back out to Ava and their families. Dyson was still sleeping in her crib, allowing Ava to listen to Carole read her favorite Minnie Mouse book, Where's Fifi?. He bided his time, formulating a plan while Ava listened to her book.
"Hey Avs?" he suggested casually once she was done reading. "Are you sure you want to name the baby Dyson?"
She nodded, climbing off her grandmother's lap to retrieve a piece of paper of the table. "Look!"
He paled as he accepted the paper, recognizing the blank birth certificate Dr. Fowler had given Ava in the hospital. Someone (he strongly suspected Kurt) had filled in Dyson Cinderella in the name section, along with the other miscellaneous information. "Is that your baby's birth certificate?"
She nodded happily. "Uncle Kurt helped."
Damn him. He glared at Kurt, who was doing a poor job of suppressing his laughter.
"So you're really going to name your baby Dyson?" he questioned, his tone still casual. "I don't know, it doesn't seem as cool as Ava Carole to me."
"I like it. It's pretty," she insisted.
"Oh it's pretty but do you think it's as cool as Ava Carole?" he pressed. "I mean what would Norma say?"
"Norma likes it," she replied. "But he said her middle name should be Muffin."
"He's an...wait what? When did Norma say that?" Finn demanded.
"He called Uncle Blaine while Mommy was yelling at you. Did you have to go in time out?" she asked, concerned.
"Something tells me he will be," Kurt snickered.
"Shut up, Kurt," Finn snapped, not wanting to imagine how much more furious Rachel was bound to be at this new development. Forget the six weeks. At this rate, he'd be lucky to back in her good graces (and pants) by summer. He turned to Ava, his voice growing desperate. "Ava, don't you want to name your baby Rapunzel? How about Minnie or Dora?"
"No. I like Dyson." She turned back to her show.
"How about Ruby?" he pleaded.
Her eyes shifted away from the TV. "Dyson."
He threw up his hands in disgust. "I'm dead. It's like arguing with Rachel."
"Let me try," Carole offered.
"Be my guest. I'm gonna use the bathroom while I still can." He stood, stomping out of the room.
"Ava baby, I think Dyson is a lovely name, very pretty," Carole began carefully.
Ava beamed. "It's Mommy's name."
"Right, but it's Mommy's secret name," Carole stressed.
Interested, Ava turned her full attention to her grandmother. "Secret name?"
"Secret name." She nodded firmly. "We all have secret appliance names, like super heroes."
"Really?" Her eyes went wide.
"It's true. Daddy's the Human Garbage Disposal," Kurt cut in with a snicker.
"Not helping, Kurt. Since it's a secret name Ava, that means we can't let people know who Dyson is named after. You wouldn't want Mommy to get in trouble would you?" Carole asked innocently.
"No." Ava shook her head vigorously.
"Maybe Dyson needs a nickname, just like Evangeline is Lena," Hiram suggested.
Ava looked like she was considering this, making Carole push on hopefully. "So how about we come up with a nickname?"
"Muffin. Her nickname can be Muffin, like Norma said," Ava decided, not realizing that just made it worse.
Carole hesitated, exchanging looks with the other adults. "Muffin's nice but I think we could come up with something much better, don't you think so, Kurt?"
"Absolutely." He nodded seriously. "Why don't you call her Coco, as in Chanel?"
Ava mulled this for a second. "No. I like Dyson."
"Tiana?" Carole suggested, exchanging nervous glances with Burt. "How about Tiana?"
Every name suggested seemed to make Ava more insistent on keeping the name Dyson, which meant that by the time Finn emerged from the bathroom Ava was happily watching Max and Ruby, her family having given up trying to rename the doll and Dyson, unaware of the furor over her name, continued to sleep in her crib nearby. Unsure of how to proceed, he opted for total ignorance of the problem as he helped his mom make dinner, hoping Ava would just forgot about the name.
Naturally she didn't, something he didn't find out until Rachel had awoken and made her way back to the table, monitor in hand. Finn, eager to get back on Rachel's good side, helped her settle in the chair, placing the monitor near her plate. "Have a good sleep, baby?"
"Did you take care of that little problem?" she asked immediately, taking a sip of water. Her eyes flickered across the table to Ava, who was engrossed in telling Blaine the story of Ray and Evangeline, her big sister balloons still bobbing merrily above her chair.
Fortunately, Evangeline's cries began reverberating through the monitor which meant Rachel was distracted from hearing his answer. She jumped up, immediately heading to her bedroom and returning after a few minutes, a quiet Evangeline in her arms.
"She eat?" Finn asked, not noticing that Ava had left the table.
"No she just needed a diaper change. She'll want to eat soon I think." She adjusted the hat on Evangeline's head. "How cute is this hat Kurt got her?"
"Adorable," Carole cooed, holding her arms out for the baby just as Ava returned, doll in her arms. Ava frowned at the sight of Evangeline, running back out of the room and returning after a minute, a hat similar to Evangeline's now on the doll's head.
Rachel smiled at the sight for a moment until she remembered the events of earlier and her eyes narrowed at her husband. "You never answered. Did you fix that problem?"
He shifted uncomfortably. "Uh well..."
"Ava baby, did your baby just wake up too?" Rachel asked, her voice a lot sweeter than the one she'd used for her husband.
Ava nodded. "Dyson needed her diaper changed like Lena. I think she'll want to eat soon."
"Finn!" Rachel screeched, startling the baby in Carole's arms and making her cry. Carole immediately stood and began pacing the room soothingly, Ava doing the same with Dyson behind her. "I thought you were going to take care of that!"
"I tried! But it's like fighting with you!" he cried, throwing his hands up in the air. "She's insisting."
"She's four. I think you can outwit her." She glared at Finn.
"Why are you so mad? I didn't make you convince her to change Finnessa Evelyn's name," he stupidly pointed out. "She tells everyone that's my real name."
"Exactly my point," Rachel snapped. "Fix this now."
"I tried! She likes it!" he cried. "Maybe you should just legally change your name to Dyson."
"Thankfully Evangeline is sleeping in our room so I don't have to sleep alone tonight." She stood, glaring at Finn. "Because you certainly aren't sleeping in there."
"Don't be ridiculous Rachel." He closed his eyes in frustration. "You don't mean that."
"Don't tell me what I mean or don't mean," she snapped. "You can use your time on the couch to think about how to fix this problem."
"Rachel..." he sighed, wisely not pointing out that up until today she'd liked the name Dyson and was actually proud of it. He turned to Ava, still pacing behind her grandmother. "Ava, how about we use Mommy's other name, Rachel?"
"No." She shifted Dyson to her other shoulder as she paced, patting her back like Carole was doing with Lena.
"Are you sure? Rachel's a seriously cool name. Much cooler than Dyson," he pleaded, really not looking forward to the couch, knowing from past experience that there was a strong possibility that Rachel would deny him blankets.
"Her name is Dyson," Ava insisted, still not seeing the problem. "Dyson Cinderella Hudson."
Her voice was taking on that stubborn tone he was all too familiar with in her maternal counterpart and he dropped it for a moment, trying to figure out his next move. Rachel was determined to lose the name Dyson while Ava was just as determined to keep it which left him between a rock and a hard place. He sighed, knowing there was only one thing to do.
It was time to bring in the big guns.
"I'm here. Where's the new Rugrat?" Puck demanded as he strolled through the door, a leopard print diaper bag flung over his shoulder and a present tucked under one arm. "And congrats, man."
"Nice bag. I especially like the pink bow," Finn answered with a snicker, looking past him to Quinn. He smiled at the sight of the carrier hanging from Quinn's arm, Olivia snoozing away under a mound of blankets.
"Shove it. Real men wear pink," he replied, the hand holding the bag shifting to give Finn the finger.
"Congratulations, Finn," Quinn added, placing the carrier gently on the ground to remove her coat. "Where is everyone?"
"They're in the living room." He nodded towards the room, taking Quinn's coat and hanging it up, Puck having thrown his coat on the hall table.
"So Berry really found a way to rid you of your manhood now that there's all girls in the house," Puck commented with a snicker. "You four decide on the official tampon brand for the house?"
"Says the man still holding a pink and leopard print diaper bag," Finn shot back, following him and Quinn into the living room where Carole was currently reading Ava a book while both Dyson and Lena swung in their respective swings side by side.
"Yo A," Puck called out as he entered the room. "Welcome to the club."
Ava beamed as she gave Puck a fist bump, climbing off the couch to retrieve her big sister purse. "Look Norma! I got a purse in my big sister box just like you did!"
"The fu...what are you talking about?" he asked, reigning his cursing in just in time.
"You got a purse in your big brother box," she replied, holding the purse up again. "Uncle Kurt said."
"Oh really? Well did Uncle Kurt tell you he got a tiara in his?" Puck retorted, annoyed at this new shot from Kurt. "Ask him."
The intended insult clearly didn't land, since Ava looked thrilled at this and he frowned, thinking of how to correct this situation. "Well when I say tiara, I don't mean like a princess one. I'm talking like the crown he got for eating the most hot dogs. Instead of diamonds it's got little weinies on it. You know, since Uncle Kurt's such a weiner fan."
"Oh." Clearly not impressed anymore, Ava frowned. "I didn't know Uncle Kurt likes hot dogs."
"Loves them. Ask him. Or better yet, ask Uncle Blaine since he's got the hot dogs," Puck replied with a snicker.
"Dude!" Finn hissed, glancing at his mother.
"Sorry Mrs. H." He looked slightly guilty for a second before snorting at the thought of Ava asking Kurt. "Hey A, we got you a Big Sister present. You know, since you're in the club now."
Ava squealed, ripping apart the package he'd handed her to reveal new dress up clothes.
"Where's Rachel?" Quinn cut in as she unsnapped a now awake Olivia, pulling off her winter coat. "Bottle, Puck."
"Yeah, where's the Biggest Berry? I don't hear her mouth," Puck asked, still snickering about his latest jab at Kurt as he pulled a bottle out of the diaper bag.
"She's pumping. She'll be out soon," Carole replied. "Burt, Hiram and LeRoy went to go get dinner and Kurt and Blaine left. Let me see Olivia."
"Getting big isn't she?" Puck replied proudly, lifting the baby out of the carrier and cradling her with a well practiced air. He offered the bottle he'd procured from the diaper bag to Olivia, who began drinking immediately. "She drinks like a sailor."
"She's a mixture of you both, I think," Carole decided, stroking Olivia's blonde hair softly. "Lena seems to be a mixture of Finn and Rachel but a stronger emphasis on Finn."
"She's beautiful," Quinn cooed, leaning in for a closer look. "Absolutely precious."
"Definitely doesn't have the huge Berry honker, that's for sure," Puck commented, passing Olivia off to Carole carefully. "Yo A. Who's this?"
"That's my baby. Dyson Cinderella Hudson." She beamed, watching Puck take Dyson out of the swing.
"That's right. You told me." He smirked, still holding Dyson. "I think Dyson might even be a better name than Finessa Evelyn."
"It's Mommy's name," Ava announced proudly, forgetting what her grandmother had told her.
"Mommy must be thrilled," Quinn commented carefully, exchanging a stern glance with Puck. Fortunately, she'd answered Finn's desperate phone call and not Puck which meant that she'd not only been briefed on the situation, she'd been able to issue a sex ban if Puck didn't help or made it worse.
"She loves it." Ava frowned. "Daddy keeps saying other names."
"Is that right?" She turned to Puck. "What do you think, Noah?"
He shrugged. "I think Dyson's an awesome name. It should be your name."
"Noah," Quinn warned, her voice loaded in a way that didn't go unnoticed by Puck. "Remember what I said."
He sighed. "Yo A. You get the notice about the meeting?"
She shook her head, holding out her arms for Dyson. "What meeting?"
"Whoa. You didn't get the email about the special meeting today?" He feigned surprise as he handed Dyson over. "That must be why you weren't there. I'm surprised Uncle Kurt didn't bring you but then again, he probably didn't want to be see with a new member."
"There was a meeting? I missed it?" she asked worriedly. "Can I still go to the circus?"
"You're good for the circus," he assured her. "Unless..."
"What?" She put Dyson back in the swing.
He shrugged. "Well, you named Dyson after Mommy, right?"
She nodded proudly, adjusting Dyson's blanket over her.
He ran a hand over his hair, glad he'd actually read Kurt's text about the club and not just deleted it. "That's a problem. Have you met Calvin Klein yet? The president of our club?"
"No. Is he going to be at the circus?" she asked, climbing onto the couch next to Carole and Quinn, both of whom were watching this with interest.
He glanced at Quinn and Finn. "I can't really give you the lowdown A, with a little sister and a little brother in the room. They might talk."
"Puck," Quinn warned.
"We'll go," Finn answered at the same time. He grabbed Quinn, pulling her towards the door. "It's ok. Mom's a big sister so she'll monitor him."
Puck waited until they'd gone into the kitchen before he spoke. "Ok, A. Now that they're gone, I can give you the dirt on Calvin. He's a real butt-head. You know, like Reginald."
"Really?" Ava's eyes went wide.
He nodded. "If he finds out that you named Dyson after Mommy and not him, he might kick you out of the club and then you can't go to the circus or any of the other awesome shit we do."
"Really?" she repeated.
"Absolutely." He leaned in close. "You better tell everyone and I mean everyone, you named Dyson after Calvin Klein. Trust me, you don't want to get kicked out. Calvin's tea parties are legendary. That's where I met Sleeping Beauty, you know. Found her asleep in the grotto after tea. Dated her for a bit but she kept falling asleep at the tea table so I cut her loose."
"Wow," she breathed, excited by the thought of the tea party.
"His parties are extremely exclusive. He finds out about Dyson's not named after him and you can forget about getting an invite." He nodded seriously, trying not to laugh at her expression. "Ask Uncle Kurt. He's never gotten an invite after he brought Mr. Smee to a meeting and it turns out Mr. Smee is a little brother."
"He brought a little brother?" Ava cried, horrified at the thought of a little brother at the meetings. "That's not allowed! He doesn't even have a card!"
"No kidding. Uncle Kurt was lucky to get out of there alive. He's lucky I had my Coupe parked nearby." He pursed his lips, trying to keep a straight face. "Calvin was so mad, he put Uncle Kurt in Time-Out at the next meeting."
Ava said nothing, staring incredulously at Puck. He took the silence to mean she was buying it, putting the finishing touches on his story. "So yeah. You better start telling everyone Dyson is named after Calvin Klein if you want to go to the circus and the cool tea parties. I just got my invite for the next one on Saturday before the circus so if you want to go, you need to stop saying Dyson is named after Mommy, ok?"
"Ok." She nodded vigorously.
"Cool." He held up his fist for a fist bump, exchanging a look of triumph with Carole. Quinn and Finn, he noticed, were hanging out by the door waiting for the all clear and he stretched, giving a subtle thumbs up as they came back in the room, followed closely by Tina, David and Mike, who'd arrived while he and Ava had been in their meeting.
Tina made a beeline for Evangeline, who'd just begun stirring, pulling her out of the swing carefully and holding her close to examine. "Look at her! Who does she look like?"
Ava, bored and not particularly caring who Lena looked like, pulled Dyson out of her swing. "Look David. This is my new baby. You can't hold her."
David appeared unimpressed, holding up his pirate sword. "I don't want to hold your baby! Grandpa got me this."
"So? I got lots of Big Sister stuff. Too bad I can't show you," she taunted, annoyed at the insult to Dyson. She turned to Mike, sure of a better reaction from him. "This is my new baby, Uncle Mike."
"Wow! A new baby for you too? What's her name?" Mike asked, having already heard the name saga from Puck.
"Dyson. Dyson Cinderella Hudson." She paused, glancing at Puck. "She's named after Calvin Klein."
"Uh ok." He stared in confusion, watching Puck give Ava a thumbs up, who beamed in response. "That's cool."
Puck stared at Finn, who'd been watching this exchange with apprehension. "And that's how it's done."
Finn ran a hand through his hair and let out a sigh of relief. "Dude. I totally owe you."
"I saved your ass from yet another Berry kicking. Of course you do," he replied, settling on the couch and taking Olivia back from Carole. "I don't know why you have such parenting problems. It's a breeze."
Finn snorted. "You just wait."
"Wait for what?" Rachel asked, coming into the room. She paused at the sight of everyone, happily accepting congratulations as she watched Tina holding Lena and Ava showing Mike Dyson's swing. She turned to Finn warily. "Is it taken care of?"
He slung an arm around her waist, pressing a kiss to her temple. "I told you I'd take care of it."
She stepped out of his embrace, a hand on her hip. "Is. It. Done."
"Yes. It. Is," he mimicked, stepping close to her again. "Problem solved."
"So Dyson has a new name?" she demanded, glancing at Ava still trying to get David interested in her doll.
"Uh...no," he hedged. He lowered his voice to a whisper. "But Puck somehow managed to get her to agree to say it's Calvin Klein's name. So that works."
Rachel appeared skeptical, an eyebrow arched. "I find that hard to believe."
"Believe it." He replaced his arm around her. "Try it and see for yourself. Have Tina ask her."
Eyebrow still arched, Rachel pulled Tina aside and issued her instructions. She watched carefully as Tina asked Ava, her eyebrows shooting up in surprise as Ava confirmed Finn's statement that Dyson was in fact named after Calvin Klein. Happy at this development, she leaned in close to Finn. "You can sleep with me and Lena tonight."
He grinned. "Lucky me."
She glanced around watching Dyson and Lena swinging away while Ava attempted to force David to attend a tea party and wrapped her arms around Finn. "No, lucky us."
"Finn...baby..." Rachel murmured, groggy with sleep. "Baby. Your turn."
"Again?" he grumbled through a haze of sleep. "How'd Ava get so lucky? Dyson already sleeps through the night."
Even groggy, Rachel managed to reach over and smack him. "Do not call that doll that."
"Sorry baby. Go back to sleep." He pressed a kiss to her forehead before he stumbled out of bed, almost tripping over the sneakers he'd left on the floor. Half asleep, he stepped over to a crying Evangeline's bassinet and lifted her out, looking longingly at a sleeping Dyson in the little bassinet next to Evangeline's. "Hey, little girl. What's with all the noise?"
Evangeline didn't seem to care about the noise, choosing to cry louder as Finn cradled her and carried her out of the room. Hoping the crying didn't wake Ava, he brought her into the kitchen, making a beeline for the fridge and pulling out a bottle of breast milk Rachel had pumped earlier. Simultaneously placing the bottle in the warmer and bouncing Evangeline, he set the timer, praying the five minutes would go quickly. "How about we change you while we wait? I don't really remember it myself but I bet it sucks having to sit in a wet diaper."
Still bouncing her, he carried a crying Evangeline into the nursery, laying her out on the changing table and unzipping the thick fleecy polka dotted sleep sack Rachel had placed her in. "So," he commented, busy unbuttoning the snaps of the onesie underneath. "How you liking things on the outside?"
Evangeline continued to howl in response albeit at a slightly reduced volume which may have been attributed to the fresh diaper Finn had just placed on her. He dressed her again, careful to speak in a calming voice. "Life can't be that bad, can it? I mean, you've got a pretty sweet deal here. You get held whenever you want and changed too, so that's pretty awesome. Plus, you've got unlimited access to Mommy's boobs, which is more than I can say at the moment."
He frowned at the thought, putting Evangeline back against his shoulder and rubbing her back as he made his way to the kitchen. Annoyingly, the bottle still wasn't warmed, making him resume his pacing. Praying that the bottle would be warm soon, he continued to pat Evangeline's back, talking as he did so. "How about a tour while we wait? This is my awesome recliner and this here is your swing but you already know that since Grandma had you swinging before. That little swing next to it is Dyson's so I bet you two will be swing buddies."
Evangeline was evidently unimpressed by her new home, continuing to cry even as Finn pointed out different things. Mercifully, the bottle warmer finally pinged and he ran for it, quickly offering it to Evangeline, who began sucking greedily. "There, that's better isn't it? Looks like you've got my appetite, Lena."
Relieved that she'd stopped crying, he carried her down the hallway, careful to make sure the bottle stayed in place. His plan to get back in bed and rest while feeding Evangeline was shot to hell once he took a look at his bed since Rachel was no longer the only occupant.
Ava was now installed on his side of the bed, stretched out and sound asleep. Dyson, dressed in an outfit similar to Evangeline's, was next to her, a plastic bottle lying abandoned nearby. He frowned, glancing down at Evangeline. "Great. If there's one thing you should know about your sister, Leens, it's that she's a major bed hog. She gets that from Mommy."
"I heard that."
"Well it's true." He threw Rachel a grin, who glared in response. "Don't try to deny it."
"What took you so long to get her a bottle?" she demanded. "It woke Ava up and she insisted on giving her baby a bottle once she realized Lena was having one."
"It didn't warm up." He shrugged. "Move Avs over?"
She sighed, sitting up slightly to pull a sleeping Ava to her side of the bed. Ava stirred, throwing an arm over Rachel but didn't wake. Finn pushed Dyson to the side with his body as he settled back on the bed, holding Evangeline close to his body. He smiled over at Rachel, who'd settled onto her side to stare at them. "Kinda cool isn't it?"
"What?" She reached over, rubbing Evangeline's head softly with one finger.
"This. Two girls. It's pretty cool." He paused, shrugging. "Three if you count Dyson."
She glared. "I do not."
"You have to admit it's kind of funny." He pulled the bottle out of Lena's mouth, placing her on his shoulder to burp. "She thinks Dyson is the most beautiful name she's ever heard, more beautiful than Finessa Evelyn. You should be honored."
Rachel giggled in spite of herself. "I'm surprised it beat Finnessa Evelyn."
"Yeah, I'm kind of insulted." He grinned, patting Lena's back gently until she burped. "So we're good?"
She smiled, her head against her pillow. "We're good."
"Cool." He scooted down the bed to lay and placed Lena on his chest, his heartbeat lulling her to sleep. "So I'm up two to one."
"What do you mean?" She shifted a little against the pillow.
He turned his head to look at her, narrowly missing the arm Ava was flinging as she turned. "Well you humiliated me with that bear and the name Finny-bear and Ava tells everyone my name is Finessa Evelyn. That's two. You've only had Dyson named after you."
She glared. "And that's enough."
He grinned. "Hate to break it to you babe but you've got another humiliation coming. Maybe Lena will dig up something in a few years. I can tell her about what really happened down at the Jersey Shore if you want."
"Don't you dare," she hissed, reaching over to smack him lightly on the arm. "It's bad enough Daddy knows."
He laughed, glancing down at both his sleeping daughters, Ava still tossing and turning. "He only knows because you're loud, babe. Plus, that stupid dog..."
"Don't blame Norton," she giggled. "It's not like he stole my bathing suit."
"That's true. You'd need to have been wearing a bathing suit for him to steal it, you skinny dipper you," he teased, enjoying her indignant look.
"I was not skinny dipping!" she hissed, glancing at Ava as she moved again. "I had my bikini partly on."
"Whatever you say, Skinny dipper." He laughed, carefully dodging her blow so as not to wake Evangeline sound asleep on his chest. "Face it, babe. That's not the only time you skinny dipped. Remember our honeymoon? You were a major skinny dipper there."
"Shh!" she hissed, hitting his arm once more. "Little ears!"
"Relax babe. Ava's asleep and even if Evangeline heard, it's not like she could say anything," he reasoned, carefully scooping Lena off his chest and sitting up. He cradled her, carefully standing and making his way over to the bassinet. He'd just placed Evangeline back in when a sound behind him made him pause.
"Mommy? What's a skinny dipper?"
Shit. He whirled around quickly to see Ava siting up in bed and rubbing her eyes as she waited for an answer. "It's a girl who's on a diet who uh, likes to dip her food in stuff. You know, like barbeque sauce."
"Oh." Satisfied by that answer, she lay back down her eyes closed and he sheepishly made his way back to bed, ignoring Rachel's glare.
"Sorry babe." He climbed into bed, adjusting the covers around him as Rachel gave a one shouldered shrug across from him.
"It could be worse. At least she doesn't know about Muffin."
A/N: Another girl! For those of you who watch Modern Family, I LOVED Phil saying the Star Wars line when Luke was born, although I'm sure it's a common occurrence with that name lol.
And I think Dyson Cinderella Hudson just might be my favorite character.