So...I'm up against a deadline. And...I don't want to do it. No nonono! My art show is this week, and I just...gah. So I promised myself if I posted my newest pet creation, then I would have to make art. Ok. *Hyperventilates into a paper bag* please enjoy the product of my procrastination. The chapters will be short and sweet:) And I'll update after the 4rth. Enjoy!


Holy crap. Troublesome didn't even begin to describe it.

"So what you are that my mission-"

The Hokage rolled her eyes and broke in, unable to deal with his 'I'm going to talk as slowly as possible just to take the piss out of ya' attitude- "That's right troll, you have to replace your catchphrases for a whole month. This is a fucking s-classed mission, so don't fuck it up."

Shikamaru looked at her incredulously. "You made a bet, didn't you?"

Tsunade didn't bat an eyelash. "That's classified information and you don't have clearance."

She could have just as easily said, "Your ass is grass and I'm a lawn mower." Shikamaru sighed. "I don't suppose I can tell Ino and Choji..."
"No! This is top fucking secret."

" I know troublesome is out, but-"

Tsunade grinned- Shikamaru was reminded of a feral cat who had just found a nest of baby mice to play with- and handed him a scroll. "Troublesome, such a drag, and similar words and phrases like this is so trying, or how inconvenient. Acceptable words and phrases include, dattebayo, that's great, good for you."

"This is really going to suck."

"That would be forbidden phrase number 35."

"How many-" Shikamaru unrolled the scroll and his mouth opened into a little 'o' of horror. "That's a lot of phrases I can't say..." He glared at Tsunade. "So...who made this bet with you?"


"And what's my payment should I successfully complete this mission." It was less of a question and more of a statement.


Shikamaru fought back the urge to face-palm. " will you know-"

The older woman waved and broke in yet again, "Oh, that part is easy. You'll be wearing this bug for the next month."

Shikamaru was expecting to see a mosquito or a black widow spider; instead, Tsunade clipped a small, discrete, microphone onto the collar of his uniform. "There will be an ANBU listening on the other end at all times. And you won't take it off. Not even to shower, shit, or shave."

Shikamaru raised an eyebrow. "The black ops don't have anything better to do with their time?"

Tsunade guffawed, "They do what I tell them to do."

Many thoughts ran through Shikamaru's head; most prominent was that he was going to run the tap when he had to take a dump. Gah.

Shika sighed- "This is going to be-"

Tsunade stepped on his foot.

Shikamaru gulped.

"This is going to be...ok."

The Hokage patted him on the head. "Good boy. Ok, the mission starts now Nara. Good luck!" As a despondent Shikamaru shuffled out of her office, Tsunade chuckled under her breath, "Good luck, 'cause you're going to need it."

"I heard that."

"Shizune! Bring me my sake."

"Hai, Tsunade-sama!"

Shikamaru didn't enjoy being ignored. This was going to be...

No. Not troublesome...

Hell. Hell on earth.

He was pretty sure that phrase was "kosher"...

hmmm, did you like it? Let me know via the blue review button, ok? Ok:)