I'm going to be posting some outtakes for Hedone Ranch under a different story header - Hedone Ranch Cutting Room Floor & Alt POVs. There are about 1000 of you that read HR but didn't put me on author alert, and I didn't want you to miss the outtakes if you wanted to read them. See a portion of the first outtake below. I'm writing a second one now, and I'm thinking of a third.
By the way, if you're in the US Midwest and are free the first weekend of November and want to meet up with some fellow Twi-fans in Indianapolis, contact me by PM or at JenJadeEyes at gmail dot com. I'm also on Twitter using the same name, so you can reach me there, too!
This chapter originally went after chapter 12. Chapter 13 was going to be from Edward's POV, and chapter 14 from Carlisle's POV, as he went to the party, put himself on the line, and asked Bella out – and that would be the end – you could choose whatever ending you wanted to see. Someone berated me for chickening out on an ending. They were right – I was.
The original intent of this chapter (In place of the current Chapter 13) was to show that Bella's sexuality was just too much of a good thing for Edward – he couldn't keep up with her sexual voraciousness, and therefore wasn't sure if he wanted to continue dating her.
Why this chapter didn't make it: 1) it added an unnecessary new character (Will, Edward's assistant) and assumes that he and Edward were somehow buddies; 2) The story was about Bella, but this chapter made her seem slutty instead of reveling in her newly released sexuality; 3) The only way I could make Edward chatty enough to share this much personal information was to get him drunk. I did re-use this idea, but instead made Bella over-share with Alice – a much more natural idea than Edward over-sharing with his assistant.
Note – I know I ran this chapter by the betas for comments on the content, but I don't remember if they fixed any of my commas…so consider it unbetaed, would you? You can also see it starts out of nowhere, there's an unfinished sex scene, and the chapter has no ending – that was because I was fighting the chapter the entire time I wrote it. When I switched it to Bella and Alice, things went much smoother – that's how I knew this wasn't the right way to go. It was tough to let go of Over-sharing Edward, though – he had some great lines…
Leaning around the door to Edward's office, the impeccably dressed man called out, "Hey, Boss, I finished up the stuff for tomorrow's meeting, and shut down the editing suite. I'll see you tomorrow."
"Will!" Edward called out a little too boisterously and sitting up abruptly. "Will, my good man. Don't go yet! Come have a seat!"
Tilting his head as he entered the room and noticing the empty glass and the half-empty bottle of whiskey on the desk, Will asked, "Are you drunk?"
Offended, Edward answered, "No, I'm not drunk. I'm oblisher…oblimer…" He blinked his eyes. "I'm really drunk."
With a secret glee, Will sat down in the chair opposite his straight-laced boss. "Why are you really drunk, Boss?"
"She's wearing me out, man." Edward rubbed his hands over his face. "I can't do it any more. Can't take it."
"Who's wearing you out?"
"I thought you were taking Bella out to dinner tonight?"
Edward dropped his hands to the desk and moped, "I don't think I can. Do you know that she's a mymfo…a nump…" He licked his lips and tried again. "She's addicted to my cock."