A/N: Okay, so I was talking with (Erase the spaces: ht tp : / www . fanfiction . net /u/1192830/ ) and this came about in my head. Dedicated to K.D. Sparrow for the inspiration and laughs. Enjoy! Tickle2Kill


A small meeting room, a round table with five chairs and coffee, a pen on a pad of yellow paper sits in the middle.

Thor gets there first, a thunderbolt crackling across the room and shaking the motivational poster off the wall. A thin crack spreads across the glass, obscuring the words, "Live long and prosper.", Spock's face wrinkled as the paper slides inside its frame. As Thor looks about, he sees his brother, Loki, in a chair, flipping through a magazine titled 'Frost Giant's Weekly'. The blue-green eyes flicking across the page don't look up.

The hulky Thor sets Mjolnir on the table and sits, the armor shifting as the seat groans beneath him. Loki flips a page. There is a blue shimmering in the corner and suddenly Kirk appears, a haughty self-assuredness about him as he grins at the men. Kirk finds his seat and pulls his coffee towards him. Liam is last, it appears, as he opens the door that everyone else has ignored and slides in. With all of them in their seats, Dr Phil steps in. He pulls the pad and pen towards him and takes the last seat.

"Alright, we're here today to talk about our problems..." his words are interrupted as Loki appears and looks around, his armor gleaming in the one overhead light. He raises an eyebrow at the others and flicks his wrist, the duplicate Loki vanishing from the chair with his magazine.

"What have I missed? Nothing? Good, let us continue." He slides into the seat his shadow self vacated and watches the others.

Dr Phil works his mouth for a moment, then nods. "Does anyone want to go first?"

Thor shifts in his seat and shakes his head. "My father, Odin Allfather, told me I was to do this counselling or he would eat my liver with fava beans and a nice Chianti. That is the only reason I am here."

Loki chuckled behind his hand, shifted Gungnir to the left and sat it against the wall. "All my problems have been dealt with, I have no need of these things."

"Why are you here then, brother?" Thor asked, raising an eyebrow.

Loki looked awkward before he rolled his eyes. "Same as you."

Dr Phil nodded. "Well, why ever we're here, we have got to talk about your issues. Holding these things in is just going to cause further damage."

"The only problem that I have is that I never got to know my father before he died."

Dr Phil nodded and brought Thor to the forefront. "Well, what have you got to say, Thor? Do you want to get to know your son now that you've got the chance?"

The Thunder God glanced over at his son, Captain James Tiberius Kirk, and his eyes widened. "Son, but I am no more than a boy myself."

"Now that's a good point, let's talk about that. Do you remember his mother and what led up to your relationship?"

Thor closed his eyes and thought about it. "She used to be a doctor or something similar at a house. I do not remember much of how we grew together, I only recall that I had to save the people from these Romulans. The ship I captained could not steer itself and I had to sacrifice myself for the whole. The former captain had just left to deal with a man I recall was once Bruce Banner, though this former captain himself was once Raza, a Tony Stark villain. Right as the ship began to slam into the larger Romulan one, I heard within my head Heimdall's voice. When I woke next, I was within my bed in Asgard, my hammer, Mjolnir, by my side."

"Did you even remember you had a son?" Kirk asked, sipping his coffee.

"No. I only remember that I was to be named heir of the Asgardian throne that day. Loki came to congratulate me."

"And Kirk, how are you dealing with this?"

He shrugged and looked away. "It's not like I had him to miss him. I don't really feel anything."

"And Liam, how are you coping with the knowledge that you have a nephew?"

"I think it's pretty cool."

"Alright, Loki, onto you. How are you dealing with the knowledge you have a mortal nephew?"

"Foster-nephew. I have no blood with either of them." Loki sipped his coffee, frowned and waved his hand over the cup. The liquid turned red.

"Ah, yes. And how do you feel about that? You're a..." Dr Phil glanced at his paper and nodded. "Jotun, right? Son of Laufey the Frost Giant King?"

"That is shady as my mother is actually Laufey and my father is Fárbauti, but in the pursuit of erasing semantics, yes, I am Loki Laufeyson and a Jotun."

"And how are you feeling about that? Odin obviously used you as a child for a peace with your native people. Did you never feel like a hostage?"

Loki smiled tightly and shook his head. "I was well loved in Asgard by my parents and my foster-brother. My anger means nothing, though I would have rather known about my heritage than be lied to for all my life."

"He wanted to protect you. He loved you and wanted you to grow up with all the things I had." Thor replied, shoving the coffee away.

"All the things you had? Are you simply delusional? No one loved me as they loved you. No one cheered for my successes. When I saved the world they would clap and nod and forget I even existed, but if you saved a kitten suddenly you deserved a year-long festival. I had nothing of what you had."

"And how does that make you feel?"

"What does it matter, you pale little walrus, what I feel?" Loki went to stand, but Kirk laughed, and he paused.

"Walrus." Kirk laughed again. "You and Bones would get along well, I think."

"Bones? Why would I get along with bones?" Loki found himself sitting and watching this yellow clad man.

"He's got that same sort of humor. Next you'll be saying, 'Damn it, Thor, I'm a Jotun not a miracle-worker, make your own damn dress.'"

Loki smiled at this man and decided he would stay. It was made even better by Thor's face.

"Dress? What is this about a dress?"

To Be Continued...