A/N: This is it. This is the final chapter of Big Time Sick.
Disclaimer: I own absolutely nothing.
Big Time Sick
Logan sank to his knees on the damp grass under the shade of an oak tree. He brought his knees up to his chest, hugging them. A seemingly never-ending stream of tears leaked from his eyes. He was trembling from head to toe. Logan had stayed for the whole service, but the moment it ended, he took off in tears.
Whereas James' viewing had poor attendance, people came to James' funeral in droves. Famous celebrities that have collaborated with Big Time Rush showed up; Miranda Cosgrove, Snoop Dogg, and Jordin Sparks. Gustavo, Kelly, Griffin, and even Fujisaki made it out for the service. Logan's mom flew back for the funeral as did Carlos' mom. James' parents were noticeably missing though.
James' wayward spirit sat on the grass under the shelter of an oak tree. He wrapped a ghostly arm around Logan's shoulders, wishing he could do more; wishing Logan could actually feel the comforting gesture.
"These people are filthy liars! Every last one of them!" Logan shouted angrily. "Showing up here pretending that they gave a damn about you! I don't know who they think they're fooling, but they're not fooling me! I know better!"
James had been touched that so many people showed up for his funeral that they actually didn't have enough seats to accommodate everyone. All of his friends from The Palm Woods came. All his old friends from Minnesota came. Plenty of people that James didn't even know came.
"Maybe they didn't know about the viewing," James suggested.
"Oh, but they knew about your funeral though? How convenient!" Logan sarcastically retorted.
James hated this. Logan shouldn't be alone right now, but he was pulling away from everyone who cared about him. He remembered how close Logan came to punching people in the face every time they said, "I'm sorry for your loss" to him. James didn't know where Carlos or Kendall was, but none of that mattered right now. James' first priority was Logan.
"This is wrong! You should still be with us! I shouldn't have had to bury you six feet under today!" Logan exclaimed, his body rocked by violent sobs.
"I don't know what to say, Logie. I'm…sorry," James said.
Logan turned his head towards James, his eyes ablaze with fury and sadness, but the fury seemed to be winning over from the look of things.
"You should be! Why did you give up? Why didn't you keep fighting?" Logan shouted.
"I did! I fought until there was no more strength left in me!" James cried out.
"As much as I want you back here with me, I hate you! If it was so bad, then why didn't you say anything to me? I never got to even say goodbye to you! I never got to tell you that I loved you before you passed!"
James placed a hand on Logan's shoulder.
"But you didn't have to, Logan. I know you loved me; I know you still do," James responded.
Katie walked up to her big brother and smacked him in the back of his head.
"Idiot!" Katie remarked.
"Ow! What gives? What did you do that for?" Kendall replied, massaging the back of his skull with his fingers.
Katie groaned loudly. Her brother could be so dimwitted sometimes, and this was no exception.
"Go after him, and yes that has dual meaning," Katie answered.
"Him? Him who?" Kendall responded.
Kendall froze right where he stood. He had to all but pick his jaw up off the ground. He didn't understand how his baby sister could see right through his cleverly constructed ruse. Kendall had been so careful too.
"I-I d-don't know w-what y-you're t-talking about," Kendall stammered.
"Oh please!" Katie commented. "You've been jealous of the relationship between James and Logan from the get go! And don't even think of giving me the he's-a-little-brother-to-me nonsense either! That might work on everyone else, but not me!"
Kendall sighed in defeat. Sometimes he hated how smart his little sister was, and this was one of those times.
"Even if that were true, which it's not, Logan's just going to end up with Carlos, so what's the point?" Kendall responded.
Katie threw her hands up in frustration.
"You really are an idiot! Carlos doesn't love Logan; he just thinks he does! He loves that Logan saved his life! Doesn't it strike you as unusual how all of a sudden Carlos thinks he's in love with Logan? But you, you've always been fiercely protective of Logan, and like I said before, you have never approved of Logan's relationship with James! Need I say more?" Katie asked.
Kendall wasn't going to lie; every morning, he would wake up with a serious case of morning wood. Could you blame him though? After all, Logan was in the bed across the room, and he was a permanent fixture in Kendall's dreams.
"Okay, I'm going to go talk to Logan," Kendall said.
"Yeah, you are!" Katie beamed.
"Son, I want to introduce you to someone," Officer Garcia said.
A thirty-something-year-old woman decked out in a dolphin gray pant suit stepped forward. Her raven hair was in a bun. She had kind, gentle chocolate eyes.
"This is Dr. Stadler, head psychiatrist at Shriner's Psychiatric Institute. She's here to help stage an intervention," Carlos' dad announced.
Carlos fiercely shook his head, his eyes brimming with tears. This was unbelievable! He couldn't even look at his father right now!
"Carlos, Logan needs professional help. He's suicidal, he's hallucinating, and he's clearly still traumatized by James raping him," Officer Garcia reasoned.
"So?" Carlos retorted. "We're all the help he needs. We don't need to ship him off to some psych ward!"
"Technically, we're not a psych ward; we're an entire psychiatric facility," Dr. Stadler interjected.
"Was I talking to you?" Carlos spat venomously.
Sylvia Garcia was appalled by her son's disrespectful behavior. She had raised him better than that, or at least she thought she did, but apparently not.
"Carlos, apologize!" she commanded.
Carlos rounded on his mother.
"Don't tell me that you're going along with this too, Mama!" Carlos exclaimed.
"Sweetie, it's touching how you want to help Logan yourself, but he needs more help than any of us can give him. We only have his best interests at heart," Mrs. Garcia answered.
Carlos couldn't believe his ears. Here he thought his parents had always been fond of Logan. What changed? Why would they do this to him? Was it because he loved Logan? Were they trying to keep them apart or something?
"I want no part of this! I'm not doing that to Logan!" Carlos said emphatically before making a hasty exit.
"Hey," Kendall said.
Logan looked up from his perch, and saw Kendall walking towards him. His gaze then drifted back to James, and he was surprised that James didn't look angry over Kendall's sudden presence.
"How are you holding up?" Kendall asked.
"Why are you here? You got what you wanted; James is dead," Logan responded.
Kendall sighed, taking a seat on the grass next to Logan, who immediately slid away from Kendall. The taller boy frowned.
"I know what I said, but you have to believe me when I say that I never really wanted James to die. Sometimes, when you're mad, you say things you don't really mean," Kendall explained.
"Or you say things that you otherwise wouldn't have the guts to say," Logan commented.
Not that Kendall enjoyed Logan being mad at him, but he had to admit that Logan was hot when he was angry. He shook himself from his thoughts as soon as he had them. He couldn't be thinking about things like that right now.
"Logie, I never wanted James to die. Although, I'm not going to lie; a part of me is glad that he's gone," Kendall admitted, causing Logan to look at him in horror. "But that's just because I'm a selfish ass who wants you all to myself."
Out of all the things Logan expected Kendall to say, that was not one of them. Though Logan's sharp tongue more often than not got him into trouble, he was at a loss for words right now.
"Why so surprised, Logan? Come on! Why do you think I've always been so protective of you? Why do you think I never liked you and James dating?" Kendall questioned.
"I always thought it was because you were overprotective," Logan answered honestly.
Kendall shook his head, growing increasingly more bashful as the seconds ticked by.
"Why do you think I wanted to room with you when we first moved out to L.A.?" Kendall asked.
"Because Carlos is messy, and you didn't want to be around James' myriad Cuda products," Logan responded.
Both boys laughed lightly. Soon, Kendall wasn't the only bashful one. Logan averted his gaze, but he couldn't hide how his cheeks were starting to heat up.
"You know how once you go through puberty, you start to see people differently? Well my first post-puberty crush wasn't on a girl; it was on you," Kendall confessed. "And really, I've never stopped crushing on you."
Logan didn't know what to say. He had no idea what to do. This was a lot to take in all at once. Not only that, but they had just buried James.
"Then why did you date Jo?" Logan inquired.
"Probably for the same reason you started dating Camille; to throw people off; to give the appearance of being 'normal.' But you and I aren't 'normal,' Logan, and there's absolutely nothing wrong with that," Kendall stated.
Logan turned towards Spirit James, who looked just as surprised as Logan by this new development.
"What do you think? Is he sincere?" Logan asked.
Kendall had a concerned look on his facial features as he watched Logan converse with someone even though no one was where Logan was facing. That just brought up a horrible memory of his mother informing Katie and him about an intervention they were going to stage for Logan as soon as they got back to The Palm Woods. Truthfully, part of the reason why Kendall was coming clean to Logan now was because he didn't know how much time he had left with Logan before he got carted off to a psychiatric institute.
"He sounds sincere, but just remember that there's another option, Logan," Spirit James answered.
"Logan? Who are you talking to?" Carlos asked, walking up to Logan, and sitting down beside him so close that their knees were touching.
Logan was confused. It was different when James was the only one who had feelings for him. Back then, he didn't have to choose James over anybody. Back then, he didn't have to reject someone. And Logan cared a great deal about both Kendall and Carlos. He felt attracted to both of them as well.
"You wouldn't believe me if I told you," Logan replied.
"Of course I would!" Carlos responded, before pulling Logan in for a hug. Kendall shifted uncomfortably. "I know this couldn't have been easy for you, but I am so proud of you for doing this today!"
Logan could feel Kendall's eyes on him, which was the only thing stopping him from melting into Carlos' embrace. Logan thought back to how he and Carlos were virtually attached at the hip throughout the whole funeral. Carlos had tissues at the ready. He had set his hand on Logan's thigh, and would rub it whenever Logan would break down and cry, a gesture that Logan found terribly arousing.
"Boys, it's time to go home," Mrs. Knight called out.
As they entered the threshold of Apartment 2J, everyone knew what was coming; everyone but Logan that is. Carlos' parents were there, Logan's mom was there, all three Knights were there, and so were Carlos and Logan. However, Carlos wasn't there for long.
"I can't wait to wear some normal clothes," Carlos commented as he went off to his bedroom to change, but everyone but Logan knew the real reason Carlos made himself scarce all of a sudden.
Logan was ushered into the living room, and had a seat on the orange sofa. He noticed how everyone else formed a loose semicircle of sorts around him. He also saw how they were all standing.
"What's going on here?" Logan asked uneasily.
There was a knock at the door, and Logan hardly noticed Officer Garcia leave to go answer the door. The next thing he knew, some lady in a gray pant suit was standing at the center of the semicircle right in front of Logan.
"Logan, I'm Dr. Stadler, head psychiatrist at Shriner's Psychiatric Institute. Everyone here cares about you so much, and they each would like to speak with you," the shrink began.
"Logan, you need help," Officer Garcia said. "I know my son loves you. Don't you think you owe it to him to get better?"
"Better? There's nothing wrong with me!" Logan protested.
Sylvia Garcia wordlessly told her husband that she would take it from here. He stepped back as she stepped forward, taking Logan's hands in hers before he shook himself free, disbelief in his eyes.
"Logan, you kept going back into an apartment that had a carbon monoxide leak. When my son tried to kiss you, you became unreachable as you went into a panic attack. Clearly you are still traumatized by what James did to you. And then there's the matter of you hallucinating," Mrs. Garcia said.
Logan rose from the couch. His eyes welled up with tears. He was legitimately surprised that he even had any tears left to cry. That seemed to be pretty much all he had been doing all day. The only difference was that this time, these were more tears of fury.
"I should get some sort of medal for time and time again saving people's lives, not shipped off to some loony bin! Once you get raped, we'll talk! Until then, you have no right to judge me! You have no idea what I'm going through; what I went through! And I wasn't hallucinating! I really did see James! Just because apparently none of you saw him doesn't mean that he wasn't there!" Logan shouted back.
Mrs. Knight stepped forward next. She wrapped her arms around Logan in a hug. The teenager was stiff the whole time, and didn't return the gesture.
"Do you hear yourself? This isn't you! You're a lot more irritable. You used to be soft-spoken and respectful, and now you're shouting at basically everyone," Jennifer Knight pointed out.
"Oh, so now I'm disrespectful? Did you ever think that maybe you all are the ones who are being disrespectful to me?" Logan retorted.
Katie decided that it was her turn to let her voice be heard.
"Logan, I look up to you. You and my brother are the only sane ones out of the four…three of you," Katie said glumly. "Is this the kind of example you want to set for me?"
"I never asked for you to look up to me, okay? So just stop already! That's what your brother's for! And as you just said, I'm not your brother!" Logan snapped back.
There wasn't a dry eye in the room. Everyone, for whatever reason, had been reduced to tears. They knew that Logan wouldn't go willingly. They knew it wouldn't be easy. Having said that, they never expected it to be such a disaster.
"Hortense," Joanna Mitchell called out.
"Mom, please tell me that you're not a part of this farce of an intervention. Forget everyone else. Let's go home. Just you and me," Logan said.
Logan became worried when his mother didn't answer right away. She was quite obviously tripping over her words. The knife was already securely in his back. Who was next to twist it? Would it really be his own mother?
Logan placed a hand on each of his mom's shoulders. He looked her square in the eyes, his own eyes sparkling with tears. His lips quivering.
"Mom…please?" Logan begged.
Joanna took a deep breath before answering. "As much as it pains me to say this, sweetie, you're not quite ready to come home yet. I think you should go with Dr. Stadler here. She can help you."
Logan pulled back his hands as though he had been burnt by his mom's shoulders. His breathing was ragged. His vision was blurred by countless tears. He took three steps back from his mom, nearly losing his balance when he came into contact with the front of the sofa.
"I don't know who you are, but you people don't care about me! If you did, then you wouldn't be doing this to me!" Logan yelled.
Logan stormed off down the hallway in a huff, but came to an abrupt halt when standing before him was Kendall.
"Kendall! You're my protector! Protect me from this! Protect me from them!" Logan pleaded.
Logan threw his arms around Kendall, his body going limp as Kendall held him. Logan had buried his face in Kendall's chest as his tears soaked the taller boy's shirt. Though Kendall had been aware of the plan, he didn't know what he was going to do. Up until a little bit ago, he was all for Logan going with Dr. Stadler. Now that Logan was in his arms though, Kendall wasn't sure about anything.
"I don't know if there's anything I can do…" Kendall trailed off.
"So you're just giving up? The Kendall I know doesn't give up! Please don't give up! Please don't give up on me!" Logan cried out, his voice cracking.
Kendall pulled back from Logan enough so that he could see his tear-streaked face. He cupped the smaller boy's face in his hands. Tears mixed with snot as both trickled down into Kendall's mouth, but Kendall didn't even care.
"Look at me!" Kendall urged, as Logan lowered his gaze. Kendall shook Logan. "Look at me! I'm not giving up on you! I'll never give up on you! Do you hear me?"
"Then do something!" Logan begged.
Kendall mustered his courage, nodding his head once. He took up a protective stance in front of Logan.
"If you want to take Logan out of here, then you'll have to go through me first!" Kendall declared.
Dr. Stadler made an unusual gesture with her hands, like she was motioning for someone to enter the apartment. All eyes turned to the apartment door where two hulking figures stood; Dr. Stadler's assistants. One of them was brandishing a tranquilizer gun, which he promptly fired at Kendall.
The dart embedded itself in the delicate skin of Kendall's neck. His eyes rolled to the back of his head, and he dropped like a ton of bricks right where he stood.
"Kendall!" Logan cried out, crouching down beside his now unconscious friend.
Soon both of Dr. Stadler's assistants had a hold of a squirming Logan, as they proceeded to drag him kicking and screaming out of the apartment.
"No! Let me go! Carlos! Help! Don't let them take me! Carlos, please!" Logan wailed.
There was the sound of shuffling footsteps as Carlos raced towards the sound of Logan's voice faster than he's ever ran before. Officer Garcia intercepted his son though, picking his son clean off the floor and holding him back.
"Dad! What are you doing? Let me go! They're taking Logan away! I have to stop them! Logan!" Carlos shouted, his arm outstretched.
Logan reached out too. Carlos and Logan were fingertips away from one another. Officer Garcia and Dr. Stadler's assistants quickly remedied that though, pulling the two boys even further apart.
Carlos pounded his fists against his father's chest, but that just made the police officer tighten his hold. Carlos' body shook with sobs. He could hardly see anything through his tears, but he could hear Logan's screams get further and further away. Then Carlos could hear Logan no more.
Carlos hated himself. He wanted nothing to do with the intervention. He certainly didn't want Logan to think that he agreed with everyone else. But he should've been out in the living room anyways. Maybe if he had been, he could've stopped Logan from being taken in the first place. Now, he was too late; far too late.
Carlos wasn't even sure where this psychiatric institute was. He didn't know how long Logan would be there. He didn't know if he was allowed to have visitors, and if he could, how soon he could have visitors. All he knew was that he didn't want the two of them to be apart.
"Logan…" Carlos said somberly.
A/N: So, should I make a sequel? If so, what should the ship be? Cargan? Kogan? A love triangle, perhaps. I'll tell you what, I'll make a poll and put it on my profile page. You can tell me if you want me to write a sequel in a review or PM. But tell me what ship you want the sequel to contain by voting in the poll, okay?