Rating: R for language and sex
Pairings: Kurt/Blaine with mentions of Kurt/OC and Blaine/OC
Spoilers: Half of this was written before the finale, the other half after. So just up to the finale, really.
Summary: A fill for this prompt: "Kurt and Blaine don't last much beyond high school. They picked universities at opposite ends of the country, and they just started to grow apart. The break up is mutual and amicable, and they stay in touch but ultimately leave each others lives.
Years later, Kurt is living and working in New York, and he's been miserably single for months. He meets this girl at a coffee shop and they start talking. He tells her he's gay, and she responds with the classic 'Oh my god, no way! I have a friend who's gay, you should totally go out on a date!, and it's a testament to Kurt's loneliness that he actually agrees to it. The girl tells him that her friend is from Ohio too, and that he's a lawyer, but his true passion is in music, and he plays in bars and coffee shops for fun.
Kurt turns up at the restaurant optimistic, and he can safely say that Blaine Anderson is one of the last people he expected to see waiting for him."
Word Count: 6522
Coffee and Tylenol.
They weren't the perfect cures for hangovers, but they certainly helped.
The night before, he had attended a mixer at one of his co-worker's Upper East Side apartments. He arrived solo and left in a cab with Robbie – the editor of the weddings section of Fashion Avenue. After some drunken groping and sloppy kissing back at Robbie's place, Kurt had suggested they go on a real date before taking things further.
Robbie was cute, after all. Tall and fit with sandy brown hair and a nice smile. Kurt didn't know him very well, but as the fashion editor for the magazine they often worked together and decided on which wedding dresses and brides would be featured in each issue.
Kurt couldn't exactly recall what Robbie's reaction to his proposition had been, but it hadn't been well-received. Robbie had mentioned not being interested in anything long-term and something about a quick fuck. That should've been Kurt's cue to get the hell out.
But he didn't leave. He had been single and miserable for seven months now after getting out of a year-long relationship with a guy who had been cheating on him for four of those months. He had been on exactly eight dates since. Three of those failed when he refused to go home with the guys. He got second and third dates out of two of them, but nothing beyond that. One guy never called him back. The other two said they liked him well enough, but he was just far too focused on work for their taste.
So, he slept with Robbie. What harm could a one night stand do? For just a short while, it filled the void in his life. But in the middle of the night, he woke up and all he felt was regret. Complete regret for letting himself be used and eventually thrown aside, because he knew Robbie wouldn't want anything to do with him after this.
Deciding he wouldn't let himself wake up in Robbie's bed in the morning, only to be asked to leave, he left on his own accord. He took a cab back to his own apartment, passed out on top of his pillows and carefully made bed, and woke up with a pounding head.
And that's where the coffee and Tylenol came into play.
He was sipping his mocha and going over his notes for the May issue, doing his best to distract himself from last night's events, when he heard a chipper female voice call to him from across the café.
"Excuse me? Are you Kurt Hummel?"
Kurt glanced up from his iPad to see a tall, gorgeous woman with shiny chocolate-brown hair approach his table. She had a thick accent he couldn't exactly place so he reached the conclusion that, yes, this woman was most likely a model of some sort.
"Yes ma'am," he answered with a smile, tilting his head curiously to the side. He wasn't used to being recognized in a crowd. It happened every now and then, but not enough for him to grow used to it.
"Oh, it's so nice to meet you!" the woman said, reaching out and taking one of Kurt's hands in both of hers, squeezing gently. "My name's Naomi."
"Naomi," Kurt repeated, still smiling kindly. He considered his next words carefully, not wanting to sound too presumptuous. "How do you…know who I am?"
Naomi grinned, showing a row of perfect white teeth. They were striking against her tan skin. "Your listings of the top modeling agencies? They've helped me land so many jobs. And your column – I'm just a huge fan. I recognized you from your photograph."
Kurt found himself blushing. "Oh. Don't give me credit. You're gorgeous. I'm sure any agency would be happy to have you."
If Kurt had learned anything from the fashion industry, it was do not flatter the models. Before he could even comprehend what was happening, Naomi took a seat in the chair across from him and started chatting as though they were old friends.
As time passed, however, he began to realize she wasn't all that bad. She was new enough, so she wasn't brainwashed by the industry. She still had lovely curves in all the right places and seemed fairly healthy, so she hadn't fallen victim to the eating disorders that models often developed.
It had been awhile since Kurt had actually interacted with someone like this. He was so attached to his work, he hadn't allowed himself the time to go out and make real friends. But Naomi was wonderful and vibrant and so full of joy. He couldn't help but be drawn to her.
She reminded him a lot of his old self.
"Last year you were always writing in your columns about this man you were with. He did hair and makeup for Victoria's Secret or something? My friends and I used to look forward to those columns, because you would always spill what the Angels would be wearing for their upcoming shows. But you don't write about him anymore?"
Kurt's smile froze on his face. "No. We broke up."
"Oh no!" Naomi slapped a hand over her mouth and gasped.
Kurt shrugged half-heartedly. "It happens."
"But you're dating someone now?"
Naomi lowered her hand and was practically glaring at him now. "There's no excuse for someone as beautiful and wonderful as you to be single. In fact, I won't allow it."
Kurt laughed, practically spitting out his mocha. "Oh really, stranger girl?"
"Really. I have a friend you should meet."
"Of course," Kurt laughed, rolling his eyes. "Look, it's really sweet of you but I've pretty much accepted the fact I'm destined to be a lonely workaholic."
The sentence came out a little strangled and wounded. Naomi must have noticed, because her eyes softened and her lips twisted in a slight frown.
"You're not getting out of this so fast," she said.
Kurt took a sip of his drink. "Well, you tell me about him and we'll see."
"He's a lawyer."
"Wait, wait!" Naomi laughed, holding up a hand to stop him. "Let me finish. He likes playing in local bars and coffee shops for fun. Keyboard, I mean. And a little guitar. He's an excellent singer and performer. I don't know why he decided to become a lawyer, honestly. He's so incredibly talented."
"And he's gorgeous. And a complete gentleman. He just got out of a relationship, and he's been so lonely – "
"No. I don't need a clingy, needy guy."
"Oh, Kurt!" Naomi objected. "No, he's not like that. He's a sweetheart. He puts so much passion and love into everything he does. I just know you'd adore him. Everyone loves him."
Kurt twisted his lips into a wry smile. "How do you know him?"
"He was with this photographer I know, but that's beside the point. It's a blind date. I'm not going to tell you everything. Just enough to get you interested."
"What's his name? You have to tell me his name."
"Nope," Naomi said, wagging a finger. "You'll just put him in Google and probably find pictures and, like I said, it's a blind date."
"I never agreed," Kurt reminded her.
"Listen," Naomi said, grabbing a napkin off the tabletop and pulling a pen out of her purse. She began scribbling a phone number down. "Give him one date. That's all. What's the harm?"
She ripped the napkin in half, passed him the piece with her number on it, and urged Kurt to write down his own number on the other half.
"I'll talk to him and give you a call," she said.
Kurt laughed, arching an eyebrow as he wrote down his number. "What are you going to tell him? 'Please go on a date with this single and miserable workaholic I found at a café nursing a hangover? I'm sure he could give you the same amount of affection he gives his iPad.'"
Naomi just smiled. "I'm good at reading people, Kurt. And I can tell when two people need each other. All you have to do is say yes."
Kurt hesitated. "I don't even really know you. If you were good at reading people, you would be able to tell I'm going to ruin this date and scar your friend for life."
Naomi laughed. "Just say yes."
He's so excited to meet you. He'll be at the café around eight tonight. At the table we sat at, so you shouldn't have a problem finding him. He wants to know your coffee order so he can have it waiting for you. I told you he's a perfect gentleman!
Kurt smiled at the text and shot out a reply.
Nonfat mocha. Can you disclose any more information, matchmaker?
He set his phone down on the couch and curled up in a blanket. He switched on his television just as his cat – Evita – jumped up next to him and cuddled against his thigh.
"What kind of weirdo wants to drink coffee at eight?" Kurt laughed, scratching Evita's ears.
Evita purred in response and snuggled closer. Kurt's phone buzzed.
He's from Ohio too. You two can bond over farming!
Kurt laughed loudly and Evita glared up at him. He grinned and set his phone back down.
"Hmm. Maybe I should decide what I'm going to wear tonight?" he said out loud, tickling Evita's back before throwing off the blanket and standing up.
He practically skipped out of the living room and to his closet. Suddenly, this night was looking up.
Kurt pushed open the door to the café and stepped in, mentally preparing himself. His dates usually went terribly wrong, but now he had a chance to do things right with this guy Naomi had only described as sweet and endearing.
He had chosen a pair of dark wash jeans, black and white oxford flats, a standard button-down, and a vest. Casual, yet effortlessly fashionable. It was a good look, in his opinion. He still wasn't sure what to expect of this lawyer who apparently had a knack for performing. Kurt knew he probably wasn't a lawyer's type. But a performer's type or any sort of artist? Yeah. His ex had done hair and makeup for Victoria's Secret and a guy he dated off and on during college was a dancer on Broadway. And in high school, there was Blaine Anderson. Star of every King's Island holiday special and lead soloist for the Dalton Academy Warblers. Yes, he definitely had a history with the artistic types. So maybe the fact that this guy was a lawyer would balance things out a little. Hell, maybe what he needed all this time was to be with someone a little less…flakey? Someone a little more stable?
Kurt's eyes focused in on the table he had been sitting at earlier that morning. Perched in a chair was a man in a cardigan and jeans. He had a head of dark, untamed curls. Two coffees were on the table – one placed in front of Kurt's empty chair and the other clutched in his hands. He was looking around the room nervously and tapping his foot. He finally turned to face Kurt just as he brought his coffee cup to his lips.
Their eyes immediately locked and Kurt's breath caught in his throat.
Blaine Anderson was his blind date.
Blaine missed his mouth and the coffee ended up pouring down his chin and onto his shirt. He yelped and set the cup down on the table just as Kurt crossed the room and grabbed a handful of napkins from the countertop. He darted over to the table and pressed the napkins to Blaine's chest.
"Here, careful," he said, his throat suddenly feeling very raw. He could hear how heavily Blaine was breathing and feel how badly his hands were shaking when he took the napkins.
"Thanks," Blaine said, wiping at the coffee and frowning at the stain.
"It didn't burn you, did it?" Kurt asked, fingers circling around his own coffee cup as he took his seat.
"I think I'm good," Blaine said, now staring down at the table. But Kurt could still see how wide his eyes were.
A few long seconds of silence passed between them.
"Blaine?" Kurt asked, not bothering to hide his nerves.
Blaine finally looked up, staring at him with what appeared to be tears in his eyes. Kurt's heart thundered in his chest.
"When Naomi gave me your coffee order and said you were from Ohio, I thought maybe…I knew you lived in the city, I just…"
His hand slapped over his mouth and he stared at Kurt. Just stared.
"Okay, what are we doing here?" Kurt asked, fiddling with the sleeve of his cup and staring straight back at Blaine. "Are we having a date? Or should I leave? Or should we go somewhere and talk?"
Blaine nodded quickly, downing his coffee in just a few swigs. His throat must be on fire, Kurt thought.
"The third one – yeah. Let's go somewhere a little more private, okay? Because I think I'm about to have a panic attack."
Kurt nodded and gathered up his bag and coffee. "My place?"
Blaine tossed his empty cup into a nearby trashcan and grabbed his things, too. "Your place."
The ten minute cab drive back to Kurt's apartment helped them both dwindle down from the high of the shock. They sat together, thigh to thigh, in comfortable silence. Blaine was staring at his hands and Kurt was staring out the window. They slowly adjusted to the feel of being close together after so many years apart. By the end of the drive, it almost felt natural again. Kurt tapped Blaine's knee when they arrived, paid the driver, and led Blaine into his building.
"I knew you were here in the city," Blaine said as they stepped into the elevator and Kurt pressed the button for the fifth floor. "I just never thought…"
"How long have you been here?" Kurt asked as Blaine trailed off, trying to disguise the hurt in his voice.
They had ended their relationship on friendly terms. It happened at the end of the summer following graduation. Blaine was about to head off to California, and Kurt to New York. They had made the promise to each other long ago that they wouldn't let their relationship affect their future goals and plans when it came to college, but they would try their best to make things work out – no matter where life took them.
In the end, though, the idea of being apart had been too much and they decided to call it quits. During freshman year, there had been Skype sessions, phone calls, care packages. The summer following, they had both been busy working but still managed movies and coffee dates and, yes, they had been friends with benefits during that time.
Sophomore year, the care packages stopped coming. They stopped talking on Skype and instead sent bi-weekly e-mails. Kurt got a phone call on his birthday, and returned the favor when the time came.
That summer, he stayed in the city for an internship. Blaine wished him luck and he hadn't seen or heard from him since, except for the Christmas cards he mailed out.
"I've only been here for about four months," Blaine answered as he stepped into Kurt's apartment and shrugged off his jacket. Kurt held out his hand for it, holding his breath when their fingers brushed slightly.
Blaine glanced around the living room and Kurt watched him take it all in. Kurt loved interior decorating and had spent a good deal of time perfecting his apartment. Blaine admired it briefly, smiling slightly, before turning back to Kurt.
"I didn't want to intrude. I found out you were working for Fashion Avenue, and you had this whole life. I was afraid if I stepped back into it you'd be…upset. Or confused. Or something."
Kurt just shrugged and crossed the room, offering Blaine a seat with a wave toward the couch. They sat down together. Evita jumped off the armrest and scurried off to the spare room to hide.
"You studied in California," Kurt said, arching an eyebrow. "You were going for musical theatre. Why the hell are you a lawyer?"
Blaine laughed darkly at this and shook his head, leaning back into the couch. "You know the guy from my Christmas cards?"
How could Kurt forget the beautiful man Blaine had been pictured with on his Christmas cards for the past few years? He was, after all, the man Kurt told himself he shouldn't and wouldn't be jealous of. Because he had walked out of Blaine's life, and Blaine out of his. He was free to be with whoever he wanted. But still – Kurt didn't like hearing about Blaine's engagement through mail.
"We got together around the end of my sophomore year," Blaine explained. "He had these big plans to be a doctor. We really hit it off, and…I don't know. We clicked. You weren't coming home for the summer, and he was from Indiana so we lived relatively close It would be a bit of a drive, but still. I guess I just sort of latched onto him. Every now and then he'd tell me I should try studying something a little more practical. I would laugh it off, even though I knew he was serious. He would bring it up in front of my dad, though. And soon enough they were both convincing me to give pre-law a try. My mom got in on it, and…" Blaine shrugged.
"Okay…" Kurt said slowly, urging him to continue. This didn't explain why he was in New York and single.
"We were together for a long time," Blaine said. "Obviously. A really long time. Engaged and everything. He became a medical doctor, I was a lawyer and everything seemed perfect." Blaine's eyes locked with Kurt's. "But have you ever woken up in the middle of the night and completely regretted everything?"
Kurt swallowed hard and shrugged a shoulder. "Maybe not everything. But some things, yes."
"I was lying to myself," Blaine explained further. "Completely changing who I was because this guy said he loved me and I was afraid of losing him if I wasn't what he wanted. On top of everything, my dad completely approved of him. At the time, it felt right. But it was only right for everyone else – not me. So, a few months ago I broke up with him. It wasn't pretty and, trust me, we're not on good terms. I was offered a job at a law firm in the city and I took it. I needed to get away, and I could work on my music here, too. I'm hoping that maybe…someday…I'll be able to do it fulltime. But, um, I dated this photographer for awhile. Which was stupid. You don't just break up with your fiancé…who you've been dating for years…and rebound like that. It was a disaster. But that's how I met Naomi…and then…this."
"So you broke up with your fiancé, immediately rebounded with someone else and broke that off, and then decided to go on a blind date."
Blaine visibly flushed. "It sounds bad when you put it like that. But...yeah. It's just…there was you and then Ian and this photographer and that's been it, Kurt. I barely know how to function when I'm not in a relationship. Between you and Ian I was miserable. I missed you and regretted everything. And you were dating that dancer? I thought it would help if I moved on, too. But I just don't know if I ever did. Not really."
Kurt observed the lines around Blaine's eyes and lips. They weren't too noticeable – he had aged rather beautifully and still looked youthful. But he couldn't help wonder if they were laugh lines or frown lines. And if they were laugh lines, were they genuine?
"This is a lot to take in," Kurt said quietly
"I know," Blaine said, almost apologetically. He paused a moment. "So what about you?"
Kurt explained that he had been with the dancer all throughout college, even though they were constantly breaking up and getting back together due to the fact they annoyed the hell out of each other. After college, he dated casually for awhile until he met Louis. They had been together up until about seven months ago when he discovered Louis had been cheating.
"He said I was far too involved in my work for his liking," Kurt said, chin tilted up proudly. He didn't want Blaine to know how much it really bothered him. "He was basically just upset because he didn't get to see me every hour of the freaking day."
He shrugged and glanced at Blaine in time to see his face fall. Blaine's hand fell on his knee and he squeezed gently.
"Kurt, you don't deserve to be treated like that."
"My dating life has pretty much been a disaster since," he explained further, staring at Blaine's hand. "There's just…no one. I had a drunken one night stand last night with a guy from work. That's something I promised myself I'd never do and I'm just…my life is a little messy right now."
Blaine's hand slipped off his knee and his arm snaked around Kurt's shoulders, tugging him a little closer. Kurt fell victim to the comfort of his embrace and curled up against his side, enjoying the warmth of his body.
"Let's…not talk about relationships right now, okay? I want to hear about you."
Kurt nodded, glad to take a break from hearing about Blaine being with other people. People who weren't him. He wondered if Blaine had changed the subject because he didn't like hearing about Kurt's love life, too.
So Kurt talked about work; his job as a fashion editor and what that entailed. He was still a big reader and in the past had hosted book club meetings with a collection of friends. That was before work became his main focus. He had been in a few community theatre productions, but other than that, acting and singing and performing in general wasn't really a huge part of his life anymore. Sewing and baking and knitting filled up his free time, for the most part, and they were his three favorite hobbies.
Blaine listened intently to every minuscule detail of Kurt's life before bringing up his own creative projects. He loved performing at some of the local underground bars. He did a little songwriting on his own, but for the most part his set lists consisted of covers. He was considering joining a community theatre, and at some point he wanted to try writing scripts of his own. He had let so many opportunities escape him when he switched majors, and he wasn't going to waste anymore time.
Kurt poured them both glasses of red wine and it wasn't long before they were curled up on the couch again, chatting comfortably about nothing in particular and sharing smiles. Blaine's arm was wrapped around his waist and his hand was resting on Kurt's hip, his thumb rubbing circles into his skin absently.
"Do you want to pop in a movie or something?" Kurt asked during a pause in their conversation. "Or do you need to get back home soon?"
"Are you trying to get rid of me?" Blaine teased, turning to smile at Kurt. But Kurt could see the questioning gleam in his eyes.
"No," Kurt promised, smiling back and resisting the urge to rest his head on Blaine's shoulder. "I just…this night has been a little unexpected. And it's been great catching up and I want us to be friends again…if you want that…but I don't want to keep you here if you want to leave."
Blaine's face fell into a frown. He reached over Kurt to place his wine glass on the end table at the arm of the couch before letting his hand rest on top of Kurt's.
"When did I give you the impression that I wanted to leave?"
"You didn't," Kurt blurted out, still managing a smile. "I just don't want you to be in a position where you feel like you have to be here. Because if you just want this to be a quick reunion and then be through with it…I'd understand, Blaine. Completely."
"And if I don't?"
Kurt closed his eyes briefly, hiding from the heat of Blaine's gaze. "Well, then. We'll have to figure it out."
When he opened his eyes again, Blaine had his head tilted to the side. An easy smile was playing at his lips. And suddenly everything felt easy, even if it wasn't.
"Let's put in a movie, then," Blaine grinned, giving Kurt's knee a pat before hopping off the couch. "Now, do we want a comedy or a drama?"
"Before you bother with that, order us a pizza?" Kurt asked as he sunk back into the couch cushions, enjoying the warmth radiating from Blaine's spot. "Grab my credit card. It's in my wallet on the kitchen counter – you paid for our coffee!" he added on when he saw Blaine begin to protest.
"Fine," Blaine pouted, pulling out his cell phone and disappearing into the kitchen. "Half veggie, half cheese?"
Kurt's heart fluttered. After all this time, Blaine remembered something as trivial as their pizza order?
"Yeah," Kurt answered, trying to hide the catch in his voice. "The number for the pizza place is on the fridge."
Kurt waited awhile, listening for Blaine to place the order as his brain started to go fuzzy. He suddenly felt seventeen again, curling up on his bed with his head in Blaine's lap while they ate their pizza and watched Moulin Rouge! for the second time that night. Oftentimes they would fall asleep like that, and Carole would have to wake them up. She'd wink at him, and Kurt knew she was saving him from his dad's inevitable grounding. After all, finding Blaine in his bed when they weren't even dating had been bad enough.
A few minutes later, and Kurt realized there was no sound coming from the kitchen. Blaine was completely silent.
"Blaine?" he called, contemplating whether or not he should bother getting up off the couch to check on him. Maybe he couldn't find the number."Everything okay?"
Blaine stepped out of the kitchen a few seconds later. He was holding Kurt's wallet open in his hands, staring at its contents.
"You kept this picture?" Blaine asked, his voice a few octaves higher than usual as he fell back down next to Kurt on the couch. He lowered the wallet so Kurt could see – even though he knew perfectly well what he would find there.
In Kurt's wallet was a small snapshot from the summer after their freshman year of college. Their 'friends with benefits' stage. The pillows in the corner of the frame made it clear they were lying in Kurt's bed. Kurt was laughing with his eyes squeezed shut and Blaine had his lips pressed against his cheek. With the way his arm was extended, it was clear he was holding the camera.
"That was the last picture we took together," Kurt said, staring down at it. "You know, we weren't even really together that summer. But those were some of the most passionate months I've ever spent with you. There's something about being in love but knowing it can't last."
Blaine fished his own wallet out of his back pocket and flipped it open. And there was the same photograph – carefully laminated and tucked away safely.
Kurt laughed brokenly, taking his own wallet from where it now rested on Blaine's knee and closing it.
"Remember when we wanted to move here together after high school? Before you got that full ride scholarship and we both thought you taking that opportunity was more important than a high school romance? We thought we were being practical but now I think we were just being stupid."
And, within seconds, Blaine's lips were latched onto Kurt's neck. It was all too much too fast. The way Blaine's teeth grazed his skin. The way his hand grabbed roughly at his hip and the other moved to grope at his chest. His breathing.
Kurt's hand flew to Blaine's nape and rested there, his nails digging in gently as he gasped. "Blaine."
Kurt knew Blaine opened his eyes when he felt the soft flutter of eyelashes against his skin. He stopped sucking and kissing and instead let his lips drag down the column of Kurt's neck and rest on his collarbone instead.
"I'm sorry," he said breathlessly. "I've been wanting to do that for awhile now. Can I…can I try something else?"
Kurt nodded despite himself and let his eyes close as Blaine moved to kiss a spot directly behind his ear. He pressed his lips firmly against the bone there before moving to take the earlobe in between his teeth and nip gently. Kurt whined involuntarily and tightened his grip on the back of Blaine's neck.
"That still gets you going," Blaine commented, laughing against his skin and pulling Kurt's legs up onto the couch so he could run his hands up his thighs. "…Do you want to move this to your bedroom?"
"Blaine. I don't even think I have a condom."
Blaine visibly lit up as he grabbed his wallet from where it had fallen on the floor. "No worries. I have one."
Kurt's face fell as Blaine pulled the wrapper out from one of the folds of his wallet. "So you were planning on getting laid tonight?"
Blaine blinked at him stupidly for a moment before he cringed and paused, searching for the right words.
"Kurt. I told you I've been kind of a mess lately…I…I don't sleep around. I haven't slept with anyone since Ian. I never went very far with the guy I dated when I came here. I've been lonely. And I just want you."
Kurt shifted uncomfortably under Blaine's weight and stared at the wall behind him. His fingers twitched where they still clung to the back of Blaine's neck.
"Blaine. I'm sorry. But I already did this last night and it was a huge mistake. I can't. Not when we're not together. Not when we don't even know if we'd want each other after this."
Blaine squeezed his thigh before sitting up and moving to the far end of the couch, letting Kurt take a moment to breathe. Kurt's eyes slowly moved back to focus on Blaine's. They had both grown older, but his eyes hadn't changed in the slightest. They were still bright and expressive and they just made him look so young. Kurt remembered the way Blaine's pupils would blow up whenever he watched him. And Kurt would get satisfaction out of that – knowing he could make someone feel that way.
"We haven't been apart for that long, you know," Blaine said quietly, still watching him. "We're not even near thirty yet. I know it feels like it's been forever but do you realize how easy it would be to just pick up right where we left off? You said yourself we were silly for letting each other go. Kurt, we can fix it."
Blaine moved forward on the couch again and cupped Kurt's cheek, pulling him in for a chaste kiss. Kurt's chest tightened before he returned it by gently sucking on Blaine's bottom lip. Blaine moved away when Kurt placed his palm flat on his chest, pushing lightly.
"I still love you," Kurt said, eyes flickering to meet Blaine's. His throat was beginning to feel raw. "I do. You were my first everything. You were the first guy to hold my hand. You were my first real kiss. My first real love. The first person who just wanted me in every way possible. And those are things I'll never forget and never stop loving you for. But I…"
A few tears slid down his cheeks and he wiped them away hastily. He hadn't realized he was getting so emotional. Blaine's mouth fell open a little and his eyes looked a little wet, too.
"I still love you," Kurt repeated. His voice was cracking now. Blaine could probably hear it. Judging by how wide his eyes were, yes, he definitely could hear it. "I just don't want to be with you if I can't actually be with you."
He felt his lips begin to tremble, and, that was it. More tears rushed down his face and he looked away from Blaine as his entire body grew hot.
"Hey," Blaine whispered, taking Kurt's hand in both of his and squeezing. The calluses on his fingertips still made Kurt shiver. "Hey. Kurt. I'm not going anywhere, OK? If you want me, you have me. Hell, even if you didn't want me I'd just spend the rest of my life trying to talk you into it."
Kurt laughed brokenly and Blaine grinned, taking this as a sign he could move in closer and wrap his arm around Kurt's waist. His forehead fell against his shoulder.
"I'm serious, though. Just ask me to stay and I'm here for good. I still love you, too."
Kurt smiled and let his head fall to the side, against Blaine's.
"Please stay," he said, turning slightly to kiss the top of Blaine's hair. "And don't ever leave again."
Kurt thought having sex with Blaine now would be a completely different ballgame. They had several years and a few partners between them, so he expected their experience to carry over and make everything a thousand times better than before. Or infinitely awkward. Because, really, he didn't want to spend the whole time wondering how and with who Blaine learned to do that with his tongue. And he certainly didn't want to find himself completely unfamiliar and lost with Blaine's body.
To his relief (and probably to Blaine's, as well), once they started touching and undressing everything fell into place. They slipped into their favorite position, with Kurt on his back and his legs wrapped around Blaine's waist. Blaine laced their fingers together on the pillow above Kurt's head and rested his chin on his shoulder, panting in his ear with every thrust.
And Kurt just closed his eyes and let Blaine move, enjoying and soaking up the feeling of being completely and unconditionally loved again.
"Do you remember our first time?" Blaine asked afterwards as they rested on Kurt's bed. The blankets were kicked off onto the floor and they were both on their sides, facing each other. Blaine's arm was outstretched with his cheek resting on the crook of his elbow. Beads of sweat were still clinging to his face and hair and, at that moment, Kurt was pretty sure he had never looked so beautiful without even trying.
"What kind of person doesn't remember their first time?" Kurt laughed, inching closer so their foreheads touched.
"Hmm," Blaine smiled. "Good point."
"But, yes, of course I do. Actually, there's one particular moment that really sticks out."
"Oh God," Blaine groaned, his face immediately growing red.
Kurt smirked. "Yep. I distinctly remember you telling me over and over again in your little panicky voice 'don't be nervous! Don't be nervous!' as you put way, way too much lube on your fingers, spread it all over your hands, grabbed my hips, and slipped. Slipped and slammed your face right into mine."
"Argh," Blaine muttered, burying his face into the pillow. "I'm surprised that wasn't a mood killer."
"Oh, it was," Kurt assured him. "But, I mean, it was you. And it wasn't like I was going to wait around for first time that wasn't awkward and fumbly. Half the fun was learning together, right?"
Blaine just smiled and drew him closer so their chests were touching. "I haven't enjoyed sex in ages. I mean, physically…yeah. But it was just something I liked to do rather than something I loved to do."
"Same," Kurt said. Sex had felt like a chore, almost. A chore that felt really, really good…but was still lacking something.
"This guy you were with last night," Blaine began hesitantly. "He's not going to…expect anything, is he?"
"Oh, no," Kurt assured him, touching his arm. "He actually made it very clear there were no strings attached. I was drunk and lonely, so…" Kurt shrugged. "Can we not talk about it, though? I already feel humiliated and weird about it."
Blaine kissed him lightly and let their noses brush as he pulled away. "Consider the subject dropped. But let me make it very, very clear there are lots of strings attached right now. Like, all the strings in the world. Tethering us together. Okay?"
Kurt laughed into his neck, clinging to him. "Okay, got it."
"I'm serious. We'll work out the details soon. But just know that I love you, Kurt Hummel. And you are never getting rid of me again."
Kurt pressed their lips together briefly and beamed. "I wouldn't plan on it, Blaine Anderson."
Kurt had pretty high expectations for the morning after.
He wanted to wake up with Blaine spooning behind him, arms wrapped securely around his waist and his lips against his neck. He wanted to roll over in Blaine's hold and press a kiss to his Adam's apple and wake him up by gently nipping and breathing against his chest. He wanted to see Blaine's eyelashes flutter as he opened his eyes. He wanted to catch a glimpse of that half-exhausted, half-lusty gaze.
Instead, he woke up to an empty bed.
Kurt didn't move at first. He just stayed there – rooted and frozen as he listened to his quiet room. There was no Blaine in his bed. No Blaine moving about and getting dressed.
Once Kurt was able to roll over and check his bedside table, he realized there was no note, either.
The panic set in, but he couldn't and wouldn't bring himself to cry over it.
Just get up, he told himself, forcing his eyes to remain dry. Just get up and move on. Don't even think about it.
Kurt squeaked and practically fell out of bed as he rolled to face his door. Blaine was standing in the entrance in one of Kurt's silk robes.
"Oh, Blaine!" Kurt laughed, relieved. "I…I didn't know where you were."
"I made us breakfast," Blaine said proudly. "You had some fruit in the fridge, so I chopped it up and made a fruit salad. I prepared some bacon I found in your freezer and made pancakes, too. With the strawberry topping you used to like so much." He paused. "Is that…okay?"
Kurt jumped out of bed and grabbed another robe hanging off the front of his closet. He slipped it on and closed the distance between them with a kiss. "It's more than okay. Come on, then. Let's see if your cooking skills have improved."
He took Blaine's hand in his, even though they were just walking to the kitchen.