So I have always loved Artemis Fowl, but have never really found an inspiration in writing a fanfiction of it because, really, it was just awesome the way it was and I doubt I could ever change it...ever.

So this is my attempt at a X-over with Harry Potter! These two series are definetly my fav and this will take place after 'The Lost Colony' and before 'The Time Paradox' as well as during 'The Order of the Pheonix'.

Will include Snarky Slytherins, the naive D.A, meddlesome bodyguards, worrying parents and annoying little brothers, pesky faries who are the biggest party poopers, one old mouldy wart, twinkling blue eyes, destifying plans, scaring ickle firsties and of course, just plain old Artemis Fowl being...well, Artemis Fowl.

Hopefully that will give you some idea of the story ahead! (Not much detail but you should get the overall picture...hopefully!)

Please read and review!


Life as We Know It

Chapter 1

When Artemis Fowl had gotten back from his eventful space and time tripping from Hybras, he had noticed three things.

One, he had been gone for nearly three years and his parents had happened to have a pair of twins which was less than shocking to Artemis. Three years was a long time and with a child gone, his parents must have been comforting each other one way or another.

Secondly, he had been able to literally grab some of the magic which had been present in the time tunnel and absorbing it into himself. In addition to this, he and Holly had switched an eye each and now he had one deep blue and one hazel respectively.

And thirdly, upon returning back to the manor and having erased his parents memory of his absence, he found an owl perched on the silken covers of his king sized bed in his room, an envelope clasped within its' mouth.

Artemis stood eyeing the bird, entering a sort of staring competition with the tawny brown owl, its' large eyes unblinking as Artemis stood in the doorway of his room.

Calling out to his body guard whom he knew was nearby he said, "Butler? Did you happen to acquire a nocturnal bird lately or is it just coincidence that an owl is atop of my exquisite Italian silk bed covers."

Butler ambled over; three years of hiding away hadn't stopped him from training, although his age was finally starting to settle in. Peering above the young man's head into the room he was a little taken aback by the presence of the bird before he stepped over the entrance and tried to shoo the bird off, only to have the bird stare blankly at him in return.

Artemis watched with avid curiosity as the bird seemed unfazed by Butlers' attempts to remove the bird. It was a lot more intelligent than the rest of its' species which Artemis had once read about in one of his mothers' bird books.

Walking into the room which had been void of life for three years had Artemis nostalgic at his past self, although for him it was merely a week or so ago, for the rest of the real world it was three years.

Approaching the bird he merely stuck out an arm, the bird seemingly understanding his wish as it took flight and landed gracefully with a flutter of feathers onto his sleeved arm, the envelope still held within its' beak.

As Artemis lifted his hand slowly to grasp the paper, giving Butler a small glare at the worried expression on his old friends face as he rolled his eyes and clasped the envelope within his hand.

The bird, now freed of its' package set flight with a hoot and exited from the open window.

It seemed the his mother had decided to air the room out for him upon learning of his arrival from Butler a few days back because as he looked around the large room, it seemed cleaned of any dust or grim which should have been present after his prolonged period of disappearance.

Upon closer inspection of the letter within his hands, Artemis noted with a careful eye that the letter was parchment, and seemed to be written in ink and quill from the scratch marks of his name and address on the front of the envelope.

Mr. Artemis Fowl

Fowl Manor, Outskirts of Dublin


"How strange…" Artemis mused to himself, a quirk of a smile lifting one corner of his mouth. He sensed that there was magic within the paper.

Artemis felt another adventure coming on and he hadn't even been home for 24 hours yet.

"Artemis…you should be wary, who knows if that might contain a bomb or a death thread written in a poisonous ink which upon inhalation will kill you," Butler said as he stepped forward towards his charge cautiously.

Artemis waved a dismissive hand at his body guard, disregarding his suspicions as he drawled, "Butler, there is magic in this paper. I can feel it. There is nothing at all dangerous nor life-treating in anyway in this simple letter. Trust me old friend."

Gingerly turning over the parchment envelope, his fingers grazed across a wax sealed stamp with an unknown crest. It wasn't often that Artemis came across a stamp he didn't recognise, and his interest was perked at the shield stamped onto the paper, his fingers tracing the large 'H' which was centred between four different animals.

"Snake…Lion…Eagle and a Badger?" the boy genius said aloud, his eyebrows raised as he racked his brain to find any information he might had read.

Seeing as he recalled nothing, he gently lifted the flap with a long pianist's finger, his finger starch white against the yellowed paper as he carefully opened the letter, keeping the seal intact for later reference.

Pulling out a folded piece of parchment, Artemis read to his other companion within his room,


Headmaster: Albus Dumbledore
(Order of Merlin, First Class, Grand Sorc., Chf. Warlock, Supreme Mugwump, International Confed. of Wizards)

Dear Mr. Fowl,
We are pleased to inform you that you have been accepted at Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry.

You are the first transfer student Hogwarts is to ever see and you will be entering into the schools' fifth year. A glitch seemed to have occurred within out birth registry as your name has only appeared in the past month, something which has never happened before.

A wizard will be arriving shortly after this letter to explain to you the magical world and the school which you will be attending, one of the finest magical schools within Hogwarts.

Please find enclosed a list of all necessary books and equipment. Term begins on September 1. We await your owl by no later than July 31.

Yours Sincerely.

Minerva McGonagall,
Deputy Headmistress

Artemis paused after he finished reading the letter, his aristocratic face marred by a small frown. A magical school for witches and wizards?

Sure, Artemis had dealt with magic before, his scuffling with the underground Lower Elements Police Recon officers had taught him as much. But even Artemis had a bit of trouble wrapping his head around a magical school which he was to attend to?

"…" Butler was silent, his mouth slightly agape as his young master had read out the letter, more than shell shocked at the information which the simple piece of parchment contained.

"How very interesting," was all Artemis said before another slip of parchment fell from his hands. Bending down to pick up with pale fingers, he straightened up and read the letter aloud once more.

Hogwarts School of Witchcraft and Wizardry

First year students will require:
1. Three sets of plain work robes (black)
2. One plain pointed hat (black) for day wear
3. One pair of protective gloves (dragon hide or similar)
4. One winter cloak (black with silver fastenings)

Set Books
All Students should have a copy of the following:
The Standard Book of Spells (Grade 1) by Miranda Goshawk
A History of Magic by Bathilda Bagshot
Magical Theory by Adalbert Waffling
A Beginners' Guide to Transfiguration by Emeric Switch
One Thousand Magical Herbs and Fungi by Phyllis Spore
Magical Drafts and Potions by Arsenius Jigger
Fantastic Beasts and Where to Find Them by Newt Scamander
The Dark Forces: A Guide to Self-Protection by Quentin Trimble

Other Equipment
1 wand
1 cauldron (pewter standard size 2)
1 set of glass or crystal phials
1 telescope
1 set of brass scales

Students may also bring an owl OR a cat OR a toad.


"…This must be some sort of sick joke, maybe it was Minerva…I mean, her name is even written in there," Butler tried to come up with an excuse, not even believing in the slightest that this was indeed true.

It had taken him a while to come to terms with the lower magical elements which his charge had discovered when he was mere 12 year old boy genius who happened to have an avid curiosity for taking over the world.

But now…now there was supposedly a race of wizards and witches who dwelled above the crust of the earth? If so, why had it taken the young man 4 years to even hear of the place?

It was one thing for Artemis Fowl to not know something but it was a whole other level when there was a magical community out there which he had not yet discovered.

"No, no," Artemis said simply with a shake of his head, "would Minerva be in possession of magic like I am? I highly doubt it."

Butler looked close to exasperated at his young charge, how could he believe it so easily? It was a wander that Artemis was so calm.

Questioning his charge he asked, "Artemis…how can you be so…open minded about this? It's one thing when we discovered that fairies and centaurs and goblins and dwarves and all those other magical creatures existed beneath our feet at the core of the earth, but really, wizards?"

"I am open minded to this Butler my dear friend as I am sure that this can only be real," Artemis replied, "and I am quite sure that this wizard will be arriving soon to explain it in thorough detail for us."

As if on que, his mother called up the stairs in her warm voice which waved slightly with concern.

"Arty?" the voice echoed up the staircase and through his open door, "there is a man called a Mr. Albus Dumbledore here to see you? He's at the gate right now…"

Artemis turned to his body guard with a blank expression on his face as his lips curled ever so slightly as he said, "see?"

Quickly checking that he was presentable in the mirror he turned on his heel and made his way down the stair case, replying to his mother's call with, "you can let him in mother. And send him into the waiting room; I have important business to discuss with this man."

Butler could only sigh before he followed the young man whom he hadn't seen in three years out of his room, wondering how on earth the boy could get into so much trouble. It must just be the fact that he happened to find trouble, it never came to him…well, this time it did.

A bit of a reference to Harry as he always says that trouble finds him...well, yeah...that's how I see it anyway.

Hopefully I portrayed a pretty believable Artemis although with Butler he is going to be nice(er) than he usually is because, well give the man a break! His charge had been missing for 3 years and I doubt Artemis is going to refer back to his snarky 14 year old self so quickly!

Well, just wait till he gets to Hogwarts or even before then...snarky Arty with Dumbles! Ohh, this is definetly going to be alot of fun!

Will reletivly be a very light hearted series with mostly comedy (my attempts at) and maybe might, if I ever get round to it darker as obviously the ending of the Order of the Pheonix is just down right sad...

Reviews are always appreciated!