I don't own Big Bang Theory, if I did Penny and Sheldon would have hooked up long ago.

This is my interpretation of how the first episode of season 5 would be, at least in my shipper mind.

This is my first time writing a Big Bang Theory fanfic so I apologize for any inconsistencies.


Leonard sat up on the couch, looking at Raj and Penny. "What's going on?"

Penny immediately stopped at the foot of their living room, understanding that there was no way out.

"This isn't what it looks like." She stifled at laugh and bolted out of the apartment as Sheldon, Howard, and Leonard looked on.

"What does it look like?" Sheldon asked as Penny walked past him and shut the door to her apartment.


"Raj, did you really sleep with Penny?" Howard questioned, looking at Raj who was still holding the covers around his body.

"Look, it's just like Penny said, it's not like that." Raj defended, still clenching the covers.

"The evidence speaks for itself." Leonard glumly added, massaging his temples. He was still in shock.

"I didn't sleep with Penny. We just woke up in bed together." "Yeah, naked." Howard added, sitting down beside Leonard.

Leonard looked at Sheldon. He was the only one that seemed calm in this situation and watched as he sat down in his spot with his bowl of cereal.

"Sheldon, doesn't this affect you at all?" Leonard asked, watching him eat.

"Of course Leonard, but it's just as Penny and Raj mentioned. They didn't engage in coitus."

"Then explain, if you're the expert of everything." Howard scoffed, watching Sheldon put down the bowl of cereal on the table.

"If I must." Sheldon replied, turning toward Leonard and Howard.

"After I turned in for the night, Penny and Raj were still in the living room drinking; at least the infernal clinking of glasses wasn't repeated. I was in the middle of my REM cycle when Penny came into my bedroom in her drunken state."

All eyes were on Sheldon now, and Raj was still standing near the hall.

"I informed her of my rule of people going into my bedroom but she rendered it moot. I knew that she was intoxicated but my primitive urges got the best of me. One thing led to another and we engaged in coitus."

Leonard choked and Howard's face dropped. "What the frak?"

Raj smiled. "See, I didn't have sex with her." With that he went back toward Leonard's bedroom.

Sheldon picked up his bowl of cereal, "Penny then left my room and I assumed she went back to her apartment. She must have lost her sense of direction."

Howard was the first to speak up, "Then why did you ask, 'What does it look like?' when Penny left?"

"Just playing along" Sheldon replied, putting his bowl into the sink.

Raj then emerged fully clothed and walked toward the fridge.

"Hold on Raj, if you didn't sleep with Penny, why were you naked in my bed?" Leonard asked curiously.

"You're naked in my bed, why can't I be in yours?" Raj asked, pulling out a mug from the cabinet. "Besides, I like sleeping in the nude sometimes. It's very comfortable."

Leonard sunk into the couch, upset that Penny had slept with Sheldon of all people. He then realized he would have felt better if it was Raj, which was odd.

Penny sat on her couch after taking a shower, clutching her head. How could she have slept with Sheldon?

Sure, he's a great guy and she wouldn't mind dating him... Wait. Never mind dating him, Sheldon probably wouldn't want to see her ever again and he'd definitely banish her for good.

She sighed and laid down on the couch when there was a knock on the door. "Who is it?"

A voice came from the other side of the door. "It's Leonard."

Penny stood up and walked toward the door, opening it. "Can I come in?" He asked, as Penny gestured toward the couch.

They sat down together as Penny turned off the television. "Could we talk about you and-" Leonard asked hesitantly earning a look from her.

"Okay look, I'm not going to judge you with what happened with Sheldon. It was a mistake and one that I'll overlook." Penny raised her eyebrow. "Sheldon told you?" Leonard nodded as he continued.

"I was thinking we could resume our relationship from where we left off." Leonard said hopeful that Penny would agree.

"What about Priya?" Penny asked curiously. "She's going back to India so it's inevitable that we'll break up."

"Really, so I'm your back up girl?" Penny asked angrily, causing Leonard's smile to fade. "We broke up. Yes, I realized that it was a mistake but for you to switch girlfriends like this? I honestly thought you were better than this Leonard."

"But, I still love you Penny. I really do." He replied, standing up from the couch and walking out the door.

Sheldon walked into his bedroom to grab some fresh clothes when something black caught his eye near the ceiling.

It was Penny's thong from the night before. He effortlessly reached up and took it down from his lamp, feeling the soft material in his hand.

He immediately recognized it from years before when he was at war with Penny. The thong was the first one he strung on the telephone wires outside his living room window. He would have to give it back to her.

Sheldon emerged from his bedroom and walked toward the living room, where Raj was sitting with Howard on the couch watching television. "Where are you going?" He asked, seeing something black in his hand.

"To Penny's. It's now past 11 so I should be safe." Sheldon stated, walking toward the door.

"So what are you going to do about Leonard?" He asked, smiling slightly.

"Raj we'll talk when I'll get back."

"How long will that be? If you're going to Penny's how do I know if you'll have sex with her again? I can't sit and wait all day."

Sheldon frowned at him and opened the door. "Don't be absurd, it won't take long."

As he left Raj looked at Howard. "Now let's talk about your problems with Bernadette." Howard grinned. "You really want to listen to them?"

Raj smiled devilishly, "Of course, that's what friends are for."

Penny sat on the couch, eager to down the bottle of wine that she bought a week ago for her depression. Who knows when Sheldon will go bat crap crazy on her? She'd rather handle it while drunk than sober.

She shrugged it off; alcohol wasn't the best answer to everything. Especially with what happened last night. How did she walk into Leonard's room and not her own? How could her sense of direction be that off?

She then snapped out of her thoughts from the sound coming from the other side of the door.

Knock. Knock. Knock "Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock "Penny."

Knock. Knock. Knock "Penny."

Penny groaned; she was so not ready for this.

She opened the door, revealing Sheldon. "Good morning Penny, may I come in?"

Penny nodded as Sheldon sat down on the couch and not in his spot in her apartment, which was odd. "Look Sheldon-"

He held up his hand. "Hold on Penny. Please allow me to continue." She sat down beside him.

"I've given the events of last night some thought and have decided on a conclusion."

'Here it comes', she thought. Permanent banishment.

"After my explanation this morning, I've realized what a sense of accomplishment I achieved having coitus with you. Not to mention the epiphany I had during the act regarding dark matter. I believe a change to our friendship paradigm is in order."

Penny stared at him. "...What?"

Sheldon shifted to face her. "Not only that, but I do find you desirable as an ideal mate, even more so than Amy Farah Fowler. In fact, even before you went out with Leonard."

Penny was stunned, "Are you asking me out?"

"Yes, isn't that what I was doing?" Sheldon asked, confused at her question. "Also I came to give you this.' He placed the thong in her hand. "Thanks. I couldn't find it."

Penny was ecstatic, "I'll go out with you Sheldon." He smiled genuinely at Penny then there was a thud against her door, startling them.

"I knew it, pay up Howard!"

"What the frak?"

Thank you for reading and please review!